Day 5 off Sub.. Advice?

[M_DuBb22]

Today is my 5th day without any suboxone. I've been taking about 1/4-1/2 a day for about a year now, and quickly weened down to about 1/8 in about a week or 2 and today's my 5th day without. I'm really on the edge of checking into an outpatient program. I have so many things in my life bothering me I'm completely depressed and I feel like I can't do anything without an opiate in my system. My body constantly feels uncomfortable and I either feel really hot or really cold, haven't been able to sleep. I'm trying to stay busy and healthy but I feel like I'm breaking down. I really want to quit for good this time, I have no horrible pain but I don't feel normal without an opiate. I've developed social anxiety which I NEVER had before, but I feel like I've brought it on myself by lying to everyone that's close to me so much about everything that I'm contstantly paranoid now. I tried LSD about 2 months ago and it like woke me up to how I'm throwing my life away with drugs, I got a job and I'm trying to get back into school but lost the job because I've been trying for 2 months 2 get off the sub. I feel like the LSD permanently ****** my brain up, I'm contantly paranoid and have horrible anxiety ever since. Now that I'm off of the sub, I'm trying to stay busy and get back into college (got kicked out bad grades) but I'm afraid to go into public because I'm so ashamed of myself and unhappy. I'm freaking out because classes start in a week and I've just re-applied and I'm waiting for an answer and don't think I'll be able to get back in. I'm so unhappy with/without the drugs I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you

[M_DuBb22]

Slipped the past 2 days. 30mg of oxycodone the first day, and 20mg the 2nd. Calling outpatient today, I may need to find a sub doctor. The thing I'm worried about is that I'll be blacklisted if I was ever to get hurt doctor's can't give me pain killers can they? I don't know what to do

[M_DuBb22]

I really think I need therapy. I want to go to a therapist for depression, but everybody tells me I should just go to an addiction therapist or an outpatient drug rehab (which I already graduated from one so it would be pointless).

I'm really depressed and I cannot figure out why. I feel like I have a lot of stuff to get off my chest. I feel like I'll never feel normal without an opiate. I can't sleep well and am constantly uncomfortable, anxious, jittery, tired, no energy.

I'm trying to stay healthy. I'm also really stressed out and I don't know how to deal with it

[10356]

How are you today M_DuBb ?

[10356]

will you be going to outpatient for your addiction our for depression ? Our lives are never so screwed up that we can not fix them but first we have to fix ourselves and that is the pains of the past. therapy may do you well..therapy helped me to save my life.

[M_DuBb22]

Thanks for the advice. I've messed up my life so bad and I'm so depressed I don't want to do anything. I'm so lost I don't know what to do. Outpatient tommorow, most likely

[10356]

Hi y M_DuBb.. Good job on the taper and Congrats on 5 days ! all the feelings you describe are normal wd symptoms. all the basics apply. vitamins hot showers good food and a lot of walking riding a bike whatever your preference but ya need to force yourself to move. Your brain needs those feel good endorphins to get kicked in big time and this is what the exercise will do. sub has a longer wd and more intense then the average opiate..as for the LSD Yuck ! I dislike that crapola very much.. you may be sensitive to its effects for a lil but it should not last.. you taking it is more of a concern. getting clean is hard work.. it is a mindset and making choices that further our recovery. you may want to check out some support groups such as AA NA private therapy addiction counselor whatever but get some support. also change up your playground and playmates our you will find yourself back where you started.. Get honest with those you have lied too.. make amends and your spirit will quiet.. take care. lesa