I really do appreciate the frank responses. It has been my lifelong observation that a human being has an infinite capacity to BS oneself, and blindly believe what is not true. Certainly includes me. I'm thankful for the input, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
I was reading down the current posts, and saw the discussions about removing inappropriate posts and I immediately thought OMG they are talking about me!
Then I saw my thread was still there, so I read it again.
Still don't sleep well and tire easily, but I read here that is very common.
Been job interviewing, and thus far no big panic attacks, just a little foggy. What a job retraining the brain to think without the DOC!
Pain managementwise it is nice to feel again, instead of just being numb all over. I am still going in to the PM dr tomorrow, but not for narcotics. Gotta tell him ANYTHING , BUT THAT. I am OK with walking out empty handed. My wife is on board, and we practice what I am going to say. It will include my weight loss, and my dedication to Pilates.
(I am wearing a wide back support band right now, that I intend to wear, as needed, on whatever my new job turns out to be) and that the PM DR needs to know: Oxy is not good for me.
And I apologize for being pissy here on the wonderful forum. I don't have a good explanation for that.
Sincerely
Dan