This is day 8 detox from Oxy. Just driving to the bank, then to the post office, and finally to the gym to soak in the Jacuzzi was a major task. First time out of the house. I'm still a bit foggy, so when I got home, I have been laying on the couch.
Been on Oxy 15mg X 4 for two years for back issues. Then they started to do more than relieve pain-they made me BETTER or at least my twisted thinking lead me to believe. My PM Dr would write scripts for me forever I think, but next time I go in, I am going to decline. My wife doled them out, but I recently found the stash.
Boy am I spacey. Hope it's not too much longer before I can think again. Yeah I have been reading about PAWS and know that it's one day at a time.
Last week I got way tired of not knowing who I am. Now me an Oxy can do just about anything- public speaking, work tirelessly for hours, etc. But deep down I know it's not me, it's Oxy driving the boat.
I read these posts on this forum over and over again last week, as I went through the first entertaining week of detox. My wife doesn't want to go through that again either. Over the years she has stood by me getting off alcohol, benzos and now Oxy. We're approaching retirement, and I don't know if I have another recovery in me if I fail at this.
Well thanks for being here for people, it is a comfort to read posts like "so many days clean", that inspires me when I am feeling puny, lost, bored, thinking about Oxy.
I may not be very capable today, but I like knowing that each and every little thought belongs to me. I really don't want oxy in my life now, and I know from my AA years that finding a meeting is a top priority now. I am still kind of shy and and spacey and will probably get a laugh or two as I stammer around and try to talk. I don't have any drive to drink anymore and haven't been to a meeting in years. But maybe I need to learn a new set of skills at NA, because when I abuse Oxy, I can't seem to get enough.
Thank you all again for being here.