Day 8 whew

[OxyTired]

This is day 8 detox from Oxy.  Just driving to the bank, then to the post office, and finally to the gym to soak in the Jacuzzi was a major task. First time out of the house. I'm still a bit foggy, so when I got home, I have been laying on the couch.
Been on Oxy 15mg X 4 for two years for back issues. Then they started to do more than relieve pain-they made me BETTER or at least my twisted thinking lead me to believe. My PM Dr would write scripts for me forever I think, but next time I go in, I am going to decline. My wife doled them out, but I recently found the stash.
Boy am I spacey. Hope it's not too much longer before I can think again. Yeah I have been reading about PAWS and know that it's one day at a time.
Last week I got way tired of not knowing who I am. Now me an Oxy can do just about anything- public speaking, work tirelessly for hours, etc. But deep down I know it's not me, it's Oxy driving the boat.
I read these posts on this forum over and over again last week, as I went through the first entertaining week of detox.  My wife doesn't want to go through that again either. Over the years she has stood by me getting off alcohol, benzos and now Oxy. We're approaching retirement, and I don't know if I have another recovery in me if I fail at this.
Well thanks for being here for people, it is a comfort to read posts like "so many days clean", that inspires me when I am feeling puny, lost, bored, thinking about Oxy.
I may not be very capable today, but I like knowing that each and every little thought belongs to me. I really don't want oxy in my life now, and I know from my AA years that finding a meeting is a top priority now. I am still kind of shy and and spacey and will probably get a laugh or two as I stammer around and try to talk. I don't have any drive to drink anymore and haven't been to a meeting in years.  But maybe I need to learn a new set of skills at NA, because when I abuse Oxy,  I can't seem to get enough.

Thank you all again for being here.

[clean_in_ks]

I SO related to one of your comments above.  "My wife only wants to hear so much of Recovery Talk-and I can understand that."  That REALLY hit home for me....maybe that's why I literally laughed outloud.

You are doing SO GOOD....spacey...yep.....but you are healing....and you are wise to stop now of your own accord.  I felt like a space cadette for a long time, but didn't do much of anything right during my first 55 days clean.
That's when I found this forum.  You have a great advantage by having found this forum and by reading all you can.

Keep on keepin on.....and hey, being a computer gamer is WAY better than some things you could be doin...LOL

[toothfairie]

yes anything you can do to take your mind off feeling bad is alright!  glad you have your wife's support...that is very important....and the mood swings will come and go as you know as well as the body aches....just stay hydrated and exercise if you can...( I need to tell myself that one!!)  Hoping you feel better soon!  just take it one day at a time as they say!!  or one hour!  hang tough

[OxyTired]

Thanks for the pat on the back, guess we all need them. Symptom wise I'm mostly slightly head achy and moody most of the day. Tho I am 60,  I have
Been a computer gamer since Wolfenstein 3-D, so I have been alternating iPad games and forums with heavy shooters on my custom PC. Yeah, I know, not a very constructive use of the day but after walks, soaks, reading, etc., ANYTHING that takes my mind off of ME is welcome. My wife only wants to hear so much of Recovery Talk-and I can totally understand that. She deserves to hear daily positive reports, if possible. But if I am troubled, she is pretty understanding too-but there IS a limit to her patience.
Thank you so much for the encouragement!

[toothfairie]

congrats on those 8 hard earned days!  just keep pushing yourself thru it....you can do this!!1  and let us know if you need help with any symptoms....we are here to help!