Day 9 and Wondering....

[KelleyMack]

Well here I am at Day 9 of ZERO Norco's. (Going from 15-20 pills a day for about 2 months; before that I would take about 10-12 vicodin for about 5months due to chronic tendonitus.) Definitely over did it on the pills I know, I didn't know that going over the recommended dosage would cause such crippiling addiction. And while the physical wd's have subsided, (took about four day's for that to start to diminish) and the depression still stands, I'm having troubles with why I came to the conclusion of why I decided to quit. When my doctor first put me on Vicodin, I honestly with everything I had in my being believed that it was God himself that led me to this glorious medicine. Not only did it take all of my chronic pain away, it enhanced my life in ways I never could have imagined. I lost 35 pounds, I no longer wanted my nightly glass of wine, my appetite shrank, I was so very happy, my enthousiasm for live flourished, and my depression had completely dissapated, along with the constant feeling of lonliness. Since stopping the Norco's my depression has never been worse, I've seen some of the darkest day's I have EVER seen, I've had a constant headache that won't seem to go away, and my tendonitus is keeping me up at night. I have absolutely no energy, and no interest in life. Taking care of my children is nearly impossible and keeping up with housework is not even an option right now. It's all leading me to wonder... Does God want me to take this?? Is there a reason he put this medicine in my path?  I know I was up to too many pills a day, I know that that can cause some major problems. But I'm just wondering, since I've taken 9 days off, if my tolerance has dropped? What if I did go back on the recommended 6 Norco's a day, and under no circumstances, go over.... I've researched hydrocodone, and there are doctors that do prescribe this medicine for depression. I just wonder if my brain needs this type of chemical to be able to function? Or I'm also wondering if this is my addiction talking all the same. All I know is, life is painful right now. So painful, and I'm still not really seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Anyone have any input? I would hate to through 9 escruciating day's away if this is not a good idea.

[716]

the pills wont make anything better, it masks your problems.  while yes it helps pain but you abused them and will always do so.  there are things we all need to work on in life that lead to our addiction.  mine was boredom and lonliness. and after the surgery i had to repair my arm i found that the pills "helped" me not feel lonely or bored, but they only cripple you further because you are still alone and doing nothing when youre high.  you should be out doing things and meeting people and finding hobies to work on those issues to help ACTUALLY fix your issues instead of just doing drugs.  my advice anyways, i can relate completely and i wish you the best.

[pharma9]

Kelly..I think you know the answer already...Of course the drug gave pleasure to everyone who took it and got addicted.But that initial pleasure becomes a horror when you become so addicted that you will not be able to control your use.
Read the posts here.people are desperate to stop this drug.
You are at day 9 and will soon be able to see the end of the tunnel.
There are other types of medications that help tendonitis.Ibuprofen and tylenol or Rx antiinflammatories may help.You are probably experiencing rebound pain and it will settle down.Keep posting and stay away from opiates if possible.

[beagles4u]

It's me girl.....Here are my thoughts, bcuz I'm in the same place.  You will become physically addicted even at the recommended dose- nothing you can do about that. The euphoria will dissipate meaning you will have to take more to 'take on the world' as you did, but that's not really you - it's the pills.  So the cycle starts again.  My fibro pain ***** as does my chronic tendonitis in both elbows, but I don't want to get hooked on pain pills, bcuz sooner or later, they can and will do permanent damage. Now granted the most I ever took was 3 1/2 norcos a day and it did give me energy, but that soon went away - and frankly I was afraid to take any more than that for fear of getting sick and nauseated which had happened before.

I started taking effexor I told you the other day - it has suppressed my appetite and helped a little with the depression - but it's only been a few days.  Here's the thing and you know I'm not judging you bcuz I'm the same way - we cannot take only the prescribed amount.  Period - it's not possible, the brain plays tricks and tells you that you need more, so you take more, and your tolerance builds till you are taking 20 a day and that's definitely not good.  Kelley - look how far you've come.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel - think about your life b4 the norco's, were you happy?  I would bet yes, you have a family, kids and people who love you - You have to wanna stop for yourself, but think of your family.  I just had a mini panic attack thinking here I am 45 years old, divorced, no kids, 3 beagles and there will be NO ONE to take  care of me when I'm old - that really makes me sad, but at the same time, just thinking of that took away my craving for a pain pill. Just be strong girl, you can do it and you have my home number if you need to talk....sorry if I said anything to offend, but I feel like your my sister in this since we started the same day!  hugs and kisses sharon