Day one off norco, here we go

[Bones216]

Happy memorial day all. This is my first post, so I will explain my story. I am in my early forties a grew up hating pills due to a hypochondriac mother. I would never take anything until my early thirties and sports injuries started to happen more frequently softball etc... Mom always had something for seemingly anything. She would occasionally give me a painkiller and as many of you know everything is much better. This went on and off for probably 4 years, hey MOM can I get a few, and so my journey to addiction began. About 7 years ago I injured my back and was for the first time in life prescribed vicodin, and later norco. I started off like everyone, taking them as prescribed, going to physical therapy for my back etc. However, I soon discovered I really enjoyed my life with the buzz  better than not, regardless of if my back was hurting or not.
I was taking more and more each day 4 to 7 norco 10's a day. They were now mandatory to make work less of a miserable place to work. I manage a team of about 15 people in a very fast paced, major communications company so every 3-4 hours I needed a boost. Finally about two years ago my wife stated she noticed I might have a problem. After months of denial and explaining babe my back is really hurting today I allowed her to assist me and only give me three a day. What she didn't know was that I was skimming from the bottle to always have at least 5 stashed just in case. If my stash ran out I would frantically tear the house apart until I found her hiding spot. My wife is a very smart woman so when I thought I could fool her into not knowing why my prescription ran out so fast, she really knew all along.
Finally out of convenience, I talked her into just allowing me to handle my daily ration. 3 turned into 4,5,6,7 a day. I took them for any reason, playing golf, taking the kids to the movies, church, date night, I always had to have at least two in my pocket. I was irritable without them, and oh my goodness if I ever ran out due to a delay with the prescription refill I was more anxious than an expecting father.
About a year or so ago I started to notice my energy level was at an all time low. I had trouble playing with the kids, actually lost all excitement for the things I love, especially golf. I was becoming an addicted zombie and that sucked, but still not enough to stop taking them.
About two weeks ago I watched a documentary on espn called UNGUARDED about the very sad story of former basket ball star Chris Herren and his 25 year battle with addiction to everything. At the end of the show I said to my wife how sad his story was, and she looked at me and said babe I'm worried that is you. WOW!!!!!!!!!!! What an eye opening experience, me just a casual pill taker being compared to a guy, who used coke, oxy, heroin. Well it was after she went to bed that night I googled how to kick the habit for pill addiction, I even cleared the history on my I pad so she wouldn't know I was looking it, for fear of not being able to get more pills out of habit.
The next day I came to her and revealed all of my ugly secrets. I explained after reading hours of forums like these I had a plan to ween myself down and during the week of memorial day to quit because I was on vacation and had a week to go through withdrawal symptoms.
I have been very anxious leading up to this week, and I took my last pill on Sunday morning. I still in my head, didn't want to be a moody *** had on the holiday, so I tried to justify waiting until Tuesday. Today is my first morning without a pill in probably 7 years and my restless legs are telling me so.
I would appreciate any and all support you could offer. I want this to be my only attempt at stopping these addicting little bastards and get my life back. Sorry for rambling on forever, but at least I haven't noticed my Twitching legs for the past half.
Thanks and happy memorial day

[Bones216]

Smj, welcome to the site and you are correct it is so powerful and encouraging. Take the time to post your story you won't regret typing it again. As you can see the support comes from everywhere. I wil tell you it was really my wife who found this site, and twisted my arm to register. I was still way to cool and independent to tell my story to strangers. I was going to taper just like you and then just quit, no plan for the withdrawal just new I could do it. That was simply ignorance and be naive to the power that these pills possess. I finally registered and started reading the forums such as yourself. Finally the tapering ended and I was faced with now what?
It was my normal time of the day to start watching the clock, waiting for my pill friends to show up, knowing that wasn't an option, but still fixated on the clock. Day one dragged on forever, but it does end. A couple of hours into my day I was getting anxious and decided to just start writing. It was the best thing I have done in many years. The support overwhelmed me, from people just like me.
As soon as you post the usual suspects you probably read on my posts just started blowing up the board. So much care, love and support is here.
Please post your story and I look forward to reading it and supporting you from then on. Best of luck.
Joe

[SMJlost85]

So today was the first time I came across this site, and I have been reading it all day. First of all, Bones, you will not regret your decision and however rough the withdraw is, the addiction is so much worse. I wish you all the best!
You are lucky to have your wife's support, and I am just overwhelmed by the support I am seeing displayed in this forum.

I spent over an hour writing my story, hoping for the same support, then realized I posted to a journal instead of forum. Oh well! Reading all this advice and support, and all the shared stories have already been an encouragement for me. Thank you to all who are posting!!

I will be sticking around, and doing everything I can to taper down, and kick this awful, life-sucking addiction!

[hiskidd]

Glad to read this chapter in your story. Be encouraged, and don't talk yourself into going back!

[Bones216]

Awesome, I will give it a listen I'm a big fan of Celine anyhow, I've seen her four times in Vegas, ahhhhh, just kidding. Thanks for the support and yes I am trying to get mentally prepared for the next few days. I will keep ya posted.

[Dixiechick72]

Sonrissa and I and others believe in laughing and making others laugh!!! It's what gets us through the rough time. Next couple of days will be bad. Let ur body rest. It needs it!!!  I'm learning we need lots of patience too. We are so use to quick fixs and grabbing a few pills to throw down. Now it truly test ur strength here. But hey. One day at a time. Hang in there ok.  Guess I share the secret... Ok so we dance to celion dion song that's the way it is.. Won't say who dances naked!!! Lol but listen to the words of the song. Very fitting right now!!!! Hang in there!!  

[selfinduced]

Hey Bones, Congrats on day two. I know your not feeling so well now with the aches and pains, but you'll be amazed how much better you'll feel in a few days. Keep that wandering mind busy and body in motion as much as you can. Sending you much support.

[Bones216]

Bryan, congrats bro that is amazing. Keep up the great work, and battle everyday as I will.
I appreciate all the support and to quote Ellen I send it right back at ya. Wow, must be wd symptoms, lol
DAY TWO UPDATE:
Started good, got some sleep, had a bit of energy, and thought of pills less this morning.
I'm on vacation this week which is great, but I had some month end things to finish at work for I thought for about 3 hours but it turned into 6. UGH!
It sucked horribly! Stomach was better today, with the help of immodium, but the sneezing, headaches, back pain, etc... was amplified. Halfway through my mind started wandering, hoping for the boost, it was so accustomed to. I was not a pleasant afternoon to say the least, but it validates my decision to get the pills out of the house, honestly my wife's final decision, I couldn't flush either. So easy to be tricked by the mind into thinking if I had one I could blow through this day and get on with my vacation. Peace, and restful legs to everyone.
PS great posts earlier by THEWAS and Sonrissa, best laugh in two days for sure

[Fireby29]

Bones, your story is a lot like mine and I am on day 34 clean.  You can do this brother!  It will be a grind, the energy and anxiety will be around awhile, but you seem very set on getting this done.  I too had to eliminate ALL sources, including family because I too cannot say no.  I hope one day to be able to, and I think I can see it happening, but for now.....the supply has to be gone and inaccessible.  Exercise, take some supplements and get to healing that brain.  It is so worth it.  Others have pointed it out, but I really had/have a love affair with the hydro.  But I am learning to live without it, and it's really exciting.  I would have never believed it could be over the last four months as I relapsed at around day 14 a bunch.  I cannot wait to see what 6 months, a year, feels like!  You got this!

Bryan

[thewaz]

It really is quite freeing to eliminate all sources.  And it also makes a firm statement to your brain and the devil who resides there that you're serious.  Temptations come at all times for me.  I had a rather upsetting experience with work today.  My normal, addicted/habitual reaction is to take a pill.  Or 3.  I was so angry and tempted to find something.  Do the purse digging routine. Then I tried the "trick" my hypnotist taught me with the thumbs.  Moved on to something else and the urge was gone.  It's coming back.  Over and over and over and it's going to try to beat me down.  But I won't let it.  And if I reach a point where I get close..THIS is where I come. This is what saves me.

[Dixiechick72]

Hi there. Been thinking about u ... Glad to hear u slept!!! :) it's it amazing how much our emotions move us??? I use to cry so easy. Well over the last couple years I stopped and would make fun of my Hubby for crying so easy. Now though watch out. The tear clock has started. But it's ok. We dont realize how much we covered up from the pills. So enjoy the emotions. U never too big or tough to cry. Good luck today!!!!

[Bones216]

Thanks so much. I honestly feel pretty good today, less cravings than yesterday so far. Yesterday seemed like it had 48 hours to it. SLOOOOWWW! I kind feel guilty after reading all of the other posts about sleeplessness, because I slept really well last night. I think tapering down for the last 10 days or so helped me. It's strange but I'm kind of addicted to this website. I've read, shared thoughts and encouragement, and self discovered so much in the past 24 hours due to this website. I'm so proud of you and know you will beat this as well. You along with kme, dixiechick, Winn, and others move me to tears, and dammit I'm a big strong 44 year old man, lol. The love and hope, that are found in these forums have me so full of hope. You are awe inspiring so please keep posting for others. Day 2 is going well and I actually have to go into work for a few hours on my vacation blahhhh! To finish up some month end stuff. The best thing for me was to get rid of all of those little soul sucking devils, because I'm sure the temptation would be great right now. Off to a nice hot shower, talk to ya soon.

[thewaz]

Thinking about you. check in with us when you can...
waz

[kme17]

How are you doing?? I hope your hanging in there!

[minn66]

Just to throw in my two cents, I used the Immodium, a good multivitamin, B Complex, Valerian root, St. John's Wort, TheraFlu daytime and nighttime formulas for aches and pains. Lots and lots of Gatorade, Vitamin Water, and Powerade. Boost and Ensure drinks give nutrition if you can't stomach anything else. I also ate a lot of soup, broth, and crackers. Fruit, especially bananas for potassium which helps with the restless legs. I'm a Southern gal so I ate a lot of grits ;) as well as toast, rice and oatmeal.

Hang in there! I'm glad your wife is being supportive. You may want to explain and apologize in advance for snapping at her and being grumpy, and that you will get emotional, yet that is a sign you are getting that stuff out of your system and a part of the process.

Will check in as I can,
Hugs,
Minn

[littlebit667]

I used the Thomas Recipe.  Some have benzos as part of the recipe...skip it.  Has it's own issues with addiction.  The minerals and vitamins do help and they helped me.  Stress B became my friend for awhile.  Magnesium in the epsom salts for bath is great for general issues and RLS. The hot baths help with RLS some.  RLS is still my "friend" and my doctor gave me a non addictive script that I still use daily and helps with RLS and in turn sleep.  

One of the best ways to stay clean (for me) as I did not buy on the street or take from family or friends was to tell my doctor.  I was getting them from her.  She helped me so much during my last detox!  Working so far!!!

I also called the pharmacy and canceled all scripts!!!!!

Good job...keep going.. One day at a time is all I could ask for.  

[thewaz]

Welcome to the most supportive group of people you could find!  And Congratulations on your decision.  I know you stopped by my post yesterday.  It was meant exactly for you!  Sounds like you're in this 110%, that you are prepared and even better, you have a wife who is going to stand by you.  Add in this amazing group and you have a support team to hold you strong.

I'm so glad to hear you have this week off.  I have such awe for those who still worked or took care of little ones during hell week.   For me, changing clothes or basic grooming was a challenge at best.  I'm at day 18 today and you'll be here before you know it.  Today is the first day I woke up and felt great.  Mornings are my worst.  Mostly because I don't sleep - today I was up at 2 am and 2nd, because that was major pill popping time to kick-start my day.  Or so I thought.

Our stories are similar, time wise and how we got to this point.  Lying to ourselves.  It doesn't matter what kicked us in the butt the fact is the kick came.  Don't anticipate anything this week but some majors lows.  Just accept the fact you're gonna feel like crap.  You've abused your body and mind for 7 years and you're not gonna feel better overnight.  But the good news is, it's very short-lived and there really is a light at the end of this week.

Many know the best way for me was to live in the moment.  Just get through one hour at a time.  I even made a chart of 120 hours (5 days) and checked them off as each dragged by.  Before I knew it I had 47 to go then 32 then 12 and when I hit zero I knew I was on to the next step in my life.  At hour zero did I feel great?  Oh God no.  In fact I didn't really accomplish anything until day 8 because, as I explained to Sonrissa, you are exiting a major train wreck.  But what helps is to know you endured the worst of the physical part.

I'll be watching and listening and holding you in my heart and prayers.  You attitude is awesome.  Your support team is ready.  You will do this.  And when  you get through hell week, you'll be sharing the tips and encouraging words like Dixiechick and Sonrissa and, well, me.

Stay strong Bones.  You made the decision which is the hardest part.

waz

[Dixiechick72]

I didn't personally use it.  My stomach put me in the hospital recently. So what I did though was all the stuff I told u in the previous posts. I did start a stronger multivitamin. As well as I already do b complex injections.  I did the valerian root at night ... But I'm thinking of using some of the other vitamins to see if it helps increase my energy!! Cause I still feel really sluggish !!! So I hope that helps a little. Others swear by the Thomas stuff though

[selfinduced]

Just had to quickly comment before cooking for a bunch of graduating excited boys. First off, your post was so real and I'm sure so many can identify. Second, your wife is a complete doll! Third, this little journey will be a trip, but very doable and oh so worth it. Take it one hour at a time, treat your symptoms as they come up. You may get lucky as some do and get off easy. Post often for help and support, music is a great distracter,sleepy time tea for any anxiety, Your going to be weepy in a day or two.....let her rip, it's good for the soul. Exercise as soon as you can, this was the main thing that helped me. Proud of you for wanting your life back, you'll do just fine! xx

[Bones216]

Thank goodness I am on vacation this week. I preplanned my tapering period up to this week. Maybe you can answer a quick question for me about the Thomas recipe? I'm kind of confused by how many different posters state to use more or less of certain ingredients. Did you use it? Did it help you? My stomach is a little jacked up already, so I was thinking of trying skip it, in fear of additional side effects. Thanks I appreciate your help and I hope you have a night filled with peace

[Dixiechick72]

Yup I think we have all posted our starting points til now. Post people experience the worst on days 3-4.  So brace yourself. Make sure ur wife kind these will be hard days. Are u working ???  Some of us secret detoxers work. I can't imagine doing this and working. So hands down to all that can and do it.  Just please keep posting and we can help the best we can. I'm so proud of u!!! U have taken a big step. So let's do this right and hopefully just once.... Good luck.

[Bones216]

Thanks I will read ur other post, and I completely understand about not having the pills anywhere, I don't trust myself

[Dixiechick72]

Hello again. And yes I've made it through the hardest part. So good u have ur wifes support and the support u have here. Things will get rough before they get better!!! But I'm proud of u for coming clean. Admitting ur an addict takes a big step. Now let's kick some butt and get u clean ok!!

[kme17]

Aldo so on addiction social and look at my very first post. Its kind of amazing and inspiring to real as well as the truth

[kme17]

Your wife like my husband is the back bone to making sure u get healthy. Beware of day 4 . You may have a differend day that is your honest to god breaking point, but for me and a ton others day 4! Look i almost caved. I came crying to my husband just let me get a few for sleep. With all intentions of popping a few for relief. Crying didnt phase him. Usually it does but not this time. I called my dealer got showered n dressed but i posted on here. Everyone kept telling me day 4 was the worst and i may even feel better by night. And you know what? Theey ... Can u believe it they were right. I am so glad i didnt cave. I thought well they say its the worst and i will see but if day 5 is this hard i am throwing in the towel. Its not i feel good. I finally gave my husband a break and spent the morning listening to music and dancing with my baby girl. U can do this n you have to keep screaming that to ur self every second. N as long as your wife stands firm you are going to b ok. Get all pills out no more refills either!! Its a muct. You tiny lil addict brain is gona tell u you can handle them around but you CANNOT!