Day one..not by design

Hey I just got on.  I was so tired last night I couldnd't see straight to type.  I haven't had a good nights sleep in a long time.  I was so sad yesterday I think I cried myself sleepy.

I am out today, so we all know what I am experiencing.  Don't really even want to talk about it.  Stuck on the couch being a potato.  I did get out yesterday and walk the dog.  Glory be.
How everyong hanging.  Thanks for the words on me e-mai; today oxy and steph.

My husband showed yesterday.  I am still haunted by the way he looks.  Just old and very tired.  I wish I could scoop him up and make him better.

[FLaddict]

Its time to scoop you up and make you better.... Day one huh??? Are you gonna make the call or are you gonna stick it out?? I am not trying to be harsh.. just dishing out the tough love..

You know i love you..

[creek]

And I'll dish out the tough truth I feel this moment.  Hell yes I'm going to make the call.  Or do I just sit here in my bathrobe all day??  I mean I can't go without them, just ain't happening.  I am either alive on pills, or dead without.

[singha]

good luck sweetie I feel for ya....I CAN RELATE

[FLaddict]

Ok.. i was just checking to see where you were at with it.. I am worried about you thats all..

[creek]

I'm sorry

[FLaddict]

why are you sorry??? you don't have anything to be sorry for...

[creek]

This isn't drugs today.  Well it is everyday, I know.  But I am just SO SAD I can't stand reading these posts about happy successful people.  I am jealous and hurting.  I guess I expect there shouldn't be this much pain in my  life, I knkow others have it so much worse.  Regretfully, here I go down the pity path.

[singha]

I am withya on that path....my word of the week is jealous

[oxysbliss]

I have pity parties too, and I dont express them alot here....cuz I always think Im such a downer..about it all..in a way its lieing to myself and others..
I just get by thru the day....thats it

Funny, I had a dream about my ex the other day...he wanted me back and I wanted to have a baby...Who ****** up that was...Thank goodness its only a dream..and one I would not make real if my life depended on it..I wonder if it did in my dream lol I had to share that


Hang in there hunny, Im here for you whenver you need me!!

[FLaddict]

I wish i could stay and chat but I gotta go to work...I am running late.. I will catch up with you tonight when i get home..


LUVYA

[married2me]

hey creek im new here i see u in the forum often.what are u taking and for how long?                     nichole

[Marce4]

Hey girl....I just sent you an email before I saw this post! I'm sorry 'cause I know how shitty day 1 is! I'm not going to be a cheerleader today....I know that is probably the last thing you want to hear!  Just know that we're here for ya ans always!  Get through one minute at a time!

I'm praying hard for you!
Marcie

[creek]

Wecome.  I have been on the forum about 4 plus months. I am a junkie.  My drug of choice right now is vics and soma. I had surgery...all legit at one point, now I search the street because what I get presribed for a month lasts about 5 days.  To be honest I think I have been addicted to some substance since I was 13.  So when I say it's vics it really isn't that at all.  It's my life.  I have been this way forever.

I found this forum and promised only one thing.  To tell the truth and it was the first place I said "I AM AN ADDICT" and my life is out of control.  I have HUGE honesty issues, but learned here we are all pretty good tap dancers and liars.  That comes with being an addict and isn't necesarily a character flaw.

I have also learned you can come here with pain or freedom and you make a difference.

[creek]

check one two, I am not being able to post:(