I am just discovering something about my boyfriend and I need to determine and get some help/direction on..well, I'm not sure, that's why I'm here.
When we met 8 months ago, he appeared to have very bad allergies...major nasal congestion, and coughing. Since Dec 09 he's been constantly sick. He tells me cold after cold. Then headaches started. He can't talk or laugh without some horrible coughing, and has intermittent upper respiratory infections. He has a phobia of doctors/needles/the truth. And he has a POS pill doctor, which is a perfect match for his fears. Now, this is what I've been seeing. He takes Dayquil during the day ( I don't know if more than one dose), he then goes out to a social club in the evening for a good 5 hrs, and has a "few drinks". His few drinks are 4 bourbon and gingers, sometimes more depending on the nite. This is every nite, 7 days a week. All the time. Every once in awhile he'll miss here and there, but rarely. So what I see is dayquil, drinks in the evening, nyquil at nite. In conjunction with that he suffers from major depression, is on a mood elevator and then a sleeping aid at nite. He's now discovered Robitussin suppressant & expectorant (not sure if it has alcohol too). He is taking antibiotics for respiratory also. He is sick with horrible near constnt coughing, sudden painful headaches in the back of his head, respitory problems and massive nasal congestion. I have encouraged him and recently relentlessly, to see a doc for a complete medical checkup. He is paralyzed to do so, he's so afraid to find out something serious/fatal. But to me, he is slowly killing himself. Am I wrong in that outlook? He did finally mention he's concerned about his health, but in the next breath told me the people who gave him the cold said it would last 3 weeks. Excuses. Fears. So my questions are:
1. is this a bona fide addiction? I'm not sure, as he is functional in basic life and I am not used to OTC/alcohol abuse and am unsure.
2. We are going thru some problems with the onset of a major depressed state he's in. Do I talk to him about this? I feel if I don't, I haven't done my duty to another human being. Plus I care. But his refusing to do anything about it is frustrating. What does it take I wonder?
His depression is rather deep. He is 56 yrs old and was forced to retire 2 yrs ago from a good, high paying job. He seems in limbo while he says he needs to find a job, but does not do one thing towards finding one. He goes to a therapist, and I'm not too sure how much the therapist is aware of. Thanks for your help.
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