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Defence , I am not a addict
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Defence , I am not a addict

I read personal defence in lots of posts . I am not  addicted I only take so many pills for real pain .
I thought that way myself for the first few months found 5 mg Norco no longer did the job. I need 10mg then 20 mg by then every 3-4 hours . it sneaks up on you , i was using  100mg Norco a day . Never saw the problem was the Norco not the pain . By Then my life was run by the pills needed to do anything almost normal.
Can happen to anybody , thats why we end up here needing help. ... Ron
11 Comments Post a Comment
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3197167_tn?1348972206
Good point, Ron.  I have learned this about myself and others....
IF I am defensive.......it's a SURE sign I have something to look at in myself.  If it's not a "sore spot" or doesn't  "get a rise out of me", then that's a good thing......why would I react so strongly to something I don't NEED to look at??
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Avatar_m_tn
Many, many "normal", hard working, clean living people travel the road you speak of.  A needed surgery, a script for pain meds, and off we go. Not everyone - my wife "doesn't like those things"; it makes her loopy - but far too many fall in to the life.  Some initially become abusers or dependent, but that is the slippery slope that can eventually lead to addiction if it's not recognized and dealt with. Others become or graduate in to full blown addicts.
We're all different, but the patterns remain the same. They haven't changed much over the years.
As always, spot on Ron. Thanks.
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495284_tn?1333897642
Once we overcome denial, get honest and find acceptance then real recovery starts~
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1855076_tn?1337118903
Well, there is a big difference between dependence and addiction.   But it is a very slippery slope.  I pretty much had myself convinced I was addicted but the truth is, I was only dependent.  Doesn't mean I couldn't become addicted.   I came off everything, with a lot of help from this board, but I can honestly say I never had any behaviors that leaned toward addiction.  For me, I will probably go on and off pain meds for the rest of my life due to my conditions.  I hope that I'm always aware enough of how easy it is to slide into addiction.  But there are times when my quality of life is so poor that it's worth taking pain meds, at least for a while.  I never had cravings, never felt any euphoria, never took an extra pill or ran out early.  But I was at one time way overmedicated on meds that weren't really helping my type of pain.

I'm sure there are people who are in denial but I'm sure in their own hearts they know they're addicted.

I know that, again, for me personally, I have certain boundaries now that I won't cross no matter what the doctor suggests.  I've come to learn that I'm the best judge of what's best for me.  Recently I agreed to a trial of Opana ER because my pain had got so out of control that my blood pressure was dangerously high despite being on blood pressure medicine.  I tried it for ten days and decided it wasn't right for me, though it did break the pain cycle I was in and now I can work on bringing my BP down in other ways.  Sometimes dependent really is dependent.
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3225128_tn?1347137598
Hi Marycarmel  ,  I thought i was just using norco because of the pain . Now i see it became a way out for everything i could not deal with . I never took Norco to party but soon stress & energy were an issue . Found the habit of takeing pills for everything running  my life . Needed more and more to get thru the day . Ron
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1855076_tn?1337118903
My tolerance went up very quickly.  I had 9 surgeries and countless procedures and did everything that was suggested, including the meds.  But I didn't like how I felt mentally on them.  The pain is and was still very real for me but for me, at least for now, I'm not addicted.

It took me a long time to come off everything they had me on and I had my script here and never took a one for the longest time.  In the past 4 to 6 weeks I've had a very bad flare-up that I just couldn't shake with my non-narcotic things, (gels, patches, advil, etc.)  It's funny how quickly your body can become dependent again.  I've been about ten days on using pain meds and decided I didn't care for the long-acting one and I definitely had the withdrawal again.

For me, though, there's a lot of thought before I take anything and I am very, very cautious.  My hope has been to use other things and only low-dose narcotics when the pain is out of control.  I didn't think that by using meds for a couple of weeks my body would become dependent again but it did.  Not bad withdrawals like when I came off boatloads of stuff but I felt lousy enough.

Maybe it was worth it for me because it did quiet the nerve pain down to a more tolerable level and now I'm back to using the gels, advil, and other non-narcotic things.

But I do know that it's easy enough to go from dependent to addicted in no time at all.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Mary, you're very right, there IS a big difference, and most people who are only physically dependent, once they come off, have no trouble staying off.  The addicted mind is what usually leads to relapse, the mental cravings, etc.

This is a good thread...there are certainly people in denial, or people who get upset at someone for just being honest (Kyle buddy!  You know allll about that!  lol)...sadly, they're only hurting themselves.  Each person has to work through thaty denial on their own, and until they do, they won't be successful in their recovery.
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3225128_tn?1347137598
Hi Marycarmel ,  I had surgery in June 2012 that eased my pain . Took me ( really my wife ) 2 months after recovery   to see i no longer needed the pills for pain I just found myself needing Norco still for everything .I had been on it so long ( 9+months before  surgery  ) I was addicted , could not stop myself  , needed 100mg a day .
I just got in the habit of needing the pills to do or go anywere .

Today and every day now  i must think around the old habits , learn how to deal with lifes stresses a new way .  Still hard for me to take the pain sometimes but i have found Heat & Advil help a bit. And the pain always eases sooner or later .
With all the good help posted here  i have made it to Day#44 now when things come up its up to me , My choice to remember what life on pain pills was like . My choice to enjoy my life & family or the no life of pain pills .
I also have a real fear of addiction now and never want to go thru W/D ever again NEVER NEVER want to do this again . ... Ron
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1855076_tn?1337118903
I've always been very frightened of addiction due to my ex-husband and other family members.  I also worked in the courts and saw the damage addiction has on so many people.  I came to MedHelp for the pain management forum, which was a great help.  I initially found this forum while looking for help for a friend.  But even though my friend couldn't beat their addiction (yet anyway) I learned so much and am so very grateful for this forum.  I was always the good, compliant patient and let myself be talked into things I wasn't comfortable with.  They talked about methadone and if I hadn't been reading here, I probably would have said okay, not knowing much about it.

My pain clinic was not helpful in bringing me down off of a ton of meds at pretty high doses, and it was several people here (and Vicki in particular) who really helped me taper off so many things and kept encouraging me.  Even though I didn't have to fight the mental part of addiction, I suffered with withdrawals throughout my taper, was hospitalized twice and it took me about 6 months or longer to feel more like myself.

I still read here every day because I don't want to ever get complacent about meds.  I can handle high levels of pain for a good while but when it's been non-stop for weeks on end, I have to do something to break the cycle and for me that sometimes means a day of pain meds or this time, a couple of weeks.  But never will I let them throw all sorts of meds at me ever again.

I have tremendous respect for those battling addiction; it's a tough disease.  I see the kids in my town hooked on pills and heroin and it breaks my heart.

I never want to go through withdrawal again like I did during my taper.  Congratulations to Day 44!  Every day is a milestone.
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Avatar_m_tn
i wrote a reply, reread it, decided it was too strong for new comers and spectators, so PM'd it to a few of you.

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Avatar_m_tn
Now i'm sorry
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