Just curious and want to get everyones opinion...
1. what is your definition of clean?
2. what is your definition of a relapse?
3. Under what circumstances would you restart your clean date?
1. Clean means I am drug free. My body is healthy or on its way to getting healthier.
2. Relapse is when you use again. Not a one time thing like a couple pills one day or a few lines one day but a bender...using for a few plus days at a time.
3. I would only restart my clean date if i used for several days or more. Never cuz of a one time little slip up.
I don't know if there are any hard and fast rules for this.
I think what matters is the importance it holds to the individual. I do start my clean date over if I slip - even for a day, even just for a few hours. This is important to me because otherwise I do not feel like I am being honest, and owning up to my slips. If I don't take every slip very seriously, I am afraid it may lead to the - well it was only one day, then, well it was just a day here and there - and before I know it, it is back in my life.
I need to be really honest with myself, and hold myself accountable for all my actions - where as I am sure others need to do it differently for it to work for them.
1) Clean- feeling genuinely good, a few aches and pains, butr still able to work, play and interact with others. money in my pocket, bank. not waiting for someone to call me back for my score. not waiting for fed ex,
2) Relapse- havent had one but i guess it would be falling back into the pill trap! not feeling anything, not wanting to deal with others, isolation, dirving as far as alaska to score, no money in my pocket, or bank.
3)Clean date- Everyday I wake up is my new clean date!
I agree with fedup - I tried for almost 4 years to get more than 30 days clean in a row. If I only used one time and didn't restart my clean date, it made it seem okay to do it again "just once". Too bad "just once" meant another 3 years of hell. I finally decided to be honest with myself and the people I love and have managed to get almost 14 months of consecutive time for the first time in my life. And for me, my clean date is more important than it's ever been. I know everyone is different, but for everyone trying to stay clean they really need to be honest or it just won't happen. So for me it goes kind of like this: Clean means - I'm not getting high on any substance and I'm being honest. Relapse means - Getting high, abusing any substance or doing any of the other things I used to do. I would restart my clean date if I got the "f*ck its" again and relapsed. For any period of time.
I am not wondering if I am still clean. Some of you know my story, I was clean for 15 days. Had a tooth flare up, called the dentist and asked for 3 pills. Yes just 3! Took only 2 and went to the dentist the first thing the next morning. Flushed the 3rd pill.
Since I took as prescribed and threw away the one remaining pill, I am still considering myself clean for 20 days without a relapse. Is that what you would do?
Absolutely - you took less than what was subscribed to you by a doctor. You didn't abuse the pills. If you had gotten a script for 30 and took all of them in 2 days, it would be different. I think, when it comes to relapse, the key is abuse. If any substance is abused... That's awesome that you handled the situation so beautifully. I give you a lot of credit and respect, because that is not easy to do - no matter how much you want recovery, it's very hard. So GOOD JOB!!! You should absolutely still consider yourself clean for 20 days!! Keep up the hard work!!
1. CLEAN means: Being free from any mood or mind-altering drug.
2. RELAPSE is: Using any mood or mind altering drug, excepting controlled use when/as actually required for legitimate medical reasons.
3. RESTART would be required: Upon any use that constituted a relapse as defined above.
probably more important to me than these labels is making sure that i tell someone (who knows me and understands my disease) about anything that relates to these areas. keeping secrets about things related to addiction will kill me.
it seems to me these days that it's not about being good or bad. it's about staying alive and having an abundant life that's actually worth living.
CLEAN - to me means That no mood or mind altering drug unless Rxed and taken as
RXed- not to get high and do not take more than RXed. (also free from alcohol)
RELASPE - If I take any drug (mood or mind altering) that was not RXed to me
or if I take more than RXed. Also even if I take 1 pill for 1 day it's
a relaspe. And that hurts me because about a month ago I took more
than the DR RXed and I had to change my clean date.
CLEAN DATE - The day after I break any of the above. (even 1 extra pill for 1 day)
I have to be true to myself that's the only person who matters, and i know in my heart when I have relasped and I never have to ask anyone.
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