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Depression after oxycontin withdrawl(withdrawal). What will help? SaMe?...
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Depression after oxycontin withdrawl(withdrawal). What will help? SaMe?

I heard about a drug called SaMe could help with depression, anyone have any expeience with this?
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Avatar_f_tn
The depression does NOT go away. I'v tried my darn hardest to stay off opiates but its the depression that makes me go back. I'm currently on Paxil and this doesnt seem to help much. The paxil helps only to control extreme strong emotional feelings of crying and the feeling as if the world is about to come to an end, however I am disapointed this drug hasnt helped my depression. I have been taking it for 2 months. Can you please recommend anything else I can try? My motivation to work/play and go out has all gone. The only thing that gets me out of the house are opiates. But anyway, feel FREE not to answer my question. Many doctors in the medical profession tend to shy away and choose to ignore it. Because they either havnt enough knowledge or simply would rather answer the simple questions they *can* answer and leave this one alone, basically to make themselves look superior.
If you manage to answer my question and give me some useful advice then I would have the upmost respect for you.
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Avatar_n_tn
There are many antidepressants which can be tried if the Paxil is not working well.  How long is the longest you have you been totally clean from opiates recently?  You really have to stay clean for at least 6 months to know for sure it isn't post acute withdrawal causing the depression or at least adding quite a bit to the depression.
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Thanks for replying. I'v tried to stay clean for 3 months now, although I have lapsed many times, however I'm not physically addicted like before. I'v been hoping the anti-depressant will help me get into gear but I guess it was wishfull thinking, anti-depressants arent magic after all. While off the opiates, my motivation is so low that I have trouble even getting myself to wash in the mornings. Recently though, I have lapsed onto opiates for 3days and in this time, I have achieved so much. In this short time I'v got myself a job and have squared things with my family who thinks I'v given up. I'm due to start a job and I just cannot afford to be feeling miserable on my first day. So as you can see I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. I want to give up, but on the other hand I dont want to risk feeling so depressed that it may ruin other areas of my life again.

I'm sorry to ramble but maybe someone out there can identify with me on this one.
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Avatar_n_tn
Man, what a trip...we share the same name and much of the same problem. I'm still using, talked to my doctor yesterday about starting Paxil...maybe I will reconsider. I too am looking for that ONE thing that will make my daily indifference go away. I have a great life and want to enjoy it properly and thoroughly, but it seems I don't. When I'm full of opiates though, the yard is clean, we take out of town day trips, little chores are no problem and little things make me happy. I don't get it. Maybe there IS a permanent change in my physical makeup...regardless of what any counselor might say - if the science is fighting me, there's nothing I can do. So, Michael - I am right there with you. It seems ludicrous to go through withdrawal, wait 6 months to MAYBE feel better and happy with life when I can, at will, anyday by self medicating. Deep down I know I'm putting off the inevitable, but modern science and the doctors who profess it don't know what to do with me. If I'm happy on this pill, why try this other one? Maybe this is THE one that fixes MY chemical imbalances. Why is that so impossible. Oh the rationalizations of a drug user. But if you substituted the word Paxil into my sentences instead of the word opiate, I'd be a recoverer, not an addict. A pill is a pill is a pill. Let me know if you figure this one out, because I'm in the same boat.

After re-reading this, it truly sounds like a drug induced rationalization...! Unfortunately, there's not a word in it that I wanted to change.
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Avatar_n_tn
What you both are experiencing is not uncommon.  Many people feel more energy to do things on opiates.  The problem is you can't stay on the opiates forever.  As you both must know, tolerance will keep rising until you will not be able to get enough opiates (unless you start using heroin) to keep from constantly running out and going through withdrawal.  There are many other problems associated with the opiate use, but suffice it to say that the one I've identified is reason enough not to continue.  The bottom line is you HAVE to find other ways to get your energy back.  The first thing is you have got to stay clean for long enough for the body to adjust.  I've been exactly where both of you are and I thought I would never get my energy and motivation back.  I was wrong.  It just takes time.  In addition, antidepressants can help, just make sure you are getting the right one.  Paxil is not a good choice because once you stop it has terrible withdrawal. Furthermore, it has some sedating effects--not exactly good for motivation.  Prozac tends to be more energizing but can make people jittery and has some sexual side effects.  Remeron is a good choice, ask your doctor about it.  Final thought, no addict has EVER been able to use on a very long term basis with no ill effects.  The addiction WILL progress if you don't stop and at some point you will end up dead, in jail, or in some other mess.  Don't kid yourselves into thinking you can only live happily with opiates.  Get some clean time, join NA or something similar and you'll realize there is happiness and energy after the pills.
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I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO EVERYTHING YOU WROTE MIKE. I SUFFER FROM CHRONIC PAIN AND AFTER BEING "OUT OF CONTROL" WITH NORCO, MY DR. PUT ME ON 2-10 MG OF OXYCONTIN PER DAY.  TIME RELEASE, SO I TAKE ONE IN MORNING AND ONE AT NIGHT.  I DONT CRAVE ANY MORE IN BETWEEN AND HAVE THE ENERGY AND MOTIVATION TO LIVE WHAT I CONSIDER A NORMAL, PRODUCTIVE LIFE. MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO YOUR DR. AND SEE IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU COULD TRY.  JUST DONT TAKE MORE THEN PRESCRIBED-YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BECAUSE THE EFFECTS ARE LONG TERM. GOOD LUCK.
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My daughter has the same problem and also it's what has led her to relapse. She is on 40 mg. of Paxil because 20 mg. were not helping. They also have her on Effexor another antidepressant which is not an SSRI. I think it tends to raise the dopamine levels a bit as well as the serotonin and epinephrine levels. Because she is away in a program we cannot administer the complementary products such as Sam-E. I have just done alot of research on 5-HTP which is an exceptionally well tolerated and highly touted remedy for depression. It's extracted from an african plant called Griffonia and it's main action is that it produces tryptophan. Tryptophan is completely converted to serotonin in the brain. You can eats lots of turkey but that's hard to do every day. The 5-HTP is found in health food stores but it has to be taken a certain way in conjunction with protein foods and carbohydrates so I suggest you get the book or find some web sites. Unlike St. John's Wort it does not take a month to work and it directly affects serotonin so you should feel results in a day or so. I am going to begin this remedy soon but I want to do some more reading. I will report back on the results. I do have moderate depression from dealing with addiction in the family but not as bad as a person going off opiates. Also, I personally do not care for the idea of methadone but for some people it does give them relief from the depression. I am not sure what happens though when they taper off.
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Hi Brian... hope you see this. I was reading your reply above to Mike and Michael. Why is Paxil the choice remedy for post opiate depression if it's hard to withdraw from and also causes sedation? This is the problem with Gina now... the Paxil is making her so sleepy and sluggish and even at 40mg she is very very down. This is the longest she has been off the heroin and  as you say, this is the result. What is the choice remedy ? I don't really know the difference between all the SSRI's. I never heard of Remeron till you mentioned it. What is it ? I just heard of Celexa but again don't know how it's different from Paxil. It would be great if she could get 6 months clean and then hopefully the depression would go away on it's own, but she has acutally had suicidal thoughts so we are concerned if the doctor is prescribing correctly. I am also wondering how they treat suicidal people who are not dealing with addiction... do they use Paxil ?? Any information you have will be very appreciated. Peace and prayers, Brighty
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Thanks for the responses, support etc. I'm currently OUT of everything.......waiting for the worst of it to start tonight. Told my doctor on Sunday (urgent care hours) that the medication that I'm currently taking for pain (Vicoprofen) isn't working anywhere near where it should/used to. Saturday night I found myself seeking solace in the ER. Got a shot - "8" of morphine and "50" of Vistaril. Got straight fast and only a slight buzz out of it. Scared the nurses when I asked if I can leave yet. Clear headed. Scared myself. Talked to doctor following day. Her opinion/treatment - break the 6 pills she was going to give me (VicES) in half - take a half a pill a day for 6 days - It'll be hell but you have to go through it. Unfortunately, the MS was barely enough to fix me. 3.75mgs of hydrocodone isn't doing a thing...so I took one and a half of them last night and drank 8 beers. Boy, this is much better than that opiate problem I had. Like Ol' Bill Burroughs once said - If junk sickness lasted 24 hours you could kick it no problem, but upwards of 7-10 days is almost impossible. I'm not seeking toooo much sympathy. Really. I'm not despondent. I'm doing this for myself, my wife and my baby girl. I know that I WILL have to get back on Vicoprofen sooner or later. Doctor won't go higher, much to my chagrin and happiness believe it or not. So since it does work...I'll have to go back. I've played all my cards with my doc now though. All I know is that the pullback is much stronger when you go from alot to none. She scoffed at a 10% reduction. I've been off and on mostly hydrocodone for 8 years...sometimes up to Percodan, Demerol, but mostly Vicodin, Vicoprofen, Empirin #3, Tylenol #3,#4 ****...the list goes on...I really want to get back to where I can get 30 a month, they do their job and I live my life. Dropping off like this has me bumming cough syrup off of co-workers...Pathetic lot we are. By the way - got my "starter pack" of Paxil on Sunday too. Decided I'd wait until I got off my drinking kick before I decide to start that. 8 beers and a Paxil sounds kind of counter-productive. Anyway, I enjoyed typing this. Cathartic - even if only for the moment.

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What gives with the dreams! Oh the scores that you make in your dreams! Mine last night was about a friend - a beautiful girl turned heroin addict turned sad girl turned I don't know anymore. I was with her - we were at her folks house for some reason and I found Narco! Never even taken it before! Not even sure if it's what I'd want right now...! Heard it on here...Now I'm dreaming about lost friends and dope. Dope is what it is. ****, am I alone in the dream thing? I think not, but help me realize that I'm not by telling me so. Unfortunately,(fortunately actually:) the scores in the dreams are always way too good to be true. REALLY a let down when you wake up though.....junk sick. ****, this day sucks:)
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Well, I've officially lost my mind. Talked to my doctor's assistant a coupla hours ago...told her I'm having a very hard time with the "taper program" that I'm on...Am taking Valium, Lomotil, and drinking heavily to counteract it...HATE the feeling of being "drugged" - which IS the only way to describe a Valium high. It's gummy and it sucks. So to all you in the medical field out there - when you think you are doing ANYONE a favor when you put them on a short term taper - less than a week - ALL you are doing is making sure that they go immediately back to the drug of choice. I'm thinking of pulling out all the stops now. Why? I put my trust in my doctor - what did I get? Cold Turkey. I could have done THAT on my own. Now I have a doctor that is going to question EVERY script that she writes for me. Sympathy? Addict gets none. I want to do this, I have to do this (Yeah, I know the **** of - well, you're well on your way to feeling better...USELESS right now.) I think the key is not only getting rid of the "habit" chemically, but the drill of taking "pills" during the day. If I could take SOMETHING that would make me feel just OKAY - NOT euphoric. I swear to God, I'm not craving euphoria right now...I'm craving normalcy. And I know exactly what will give me that. I am so disappointed in my doctor right now - I didn't finish my story - Doctors assistant promised to talk w/the doctor and call me back...............it's 6:30. They're NOT calling back. Even a pep talk woulda been better than the brush off...The "get a different doctor thing" doesn't help me right now either...this is NOW and I'm running down now. Sorry to clutter this board with this. I'm disappointed in myself for getting this way, disappointed in the medical industry for making me this way (another story), disappointed in the lack of sympathy by people that do not know the all consuming feeling of narcotic withdrawal and disappointed that I'm this concerned with all of it. I tried to be honest - it got me nothing more than I had. It's like telling your boss you stole something...offering to return it and getting fired and prosecuted for your honesty. Why the hell did I think my doctor would understand this? ****. Well, here's to a reaaaaalllll rough night. "If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand" Thanks in advance for allowing the rant. As irrational as I am right now.

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Last night sucked...but not as bad as it usually does...this means one of two things - I'm gonna get clean a little easier this time, or tonight is gonna be the doozie. Thanks for your concern - honestly. I know that a meeting would probably be the best thing for me...but at this stage, I just CAN'T go yet. Maybe it'll take 1400 more times of this bullshit. But not today. I confronted my doctor last night. She was angry with me. Pissed I wasn't taking the Paxil - pissed I was drinking - and pissed that I would think she would help me in any way. She said she didn't care if I threw up in front of her - I have to go through this. I told her I could have gone through all of this - Cold Turkey - all on my own. I didn't have to play my hand to her. The only thing she said to that was - well, you're right on that. So - Honesty to doctors - Bye Bye. They think you're up to no good anyway - even if you're not - so why give them the satisfaction of being told they're right? So, even though I don't feel all that horrible this morning, my thoughts are on dope. It's like telling someone at Weight Watchers to - "Just get over it! Stop eating so much. If you want to do it you could". And that's all there is to it. Well, officially, at the level that I was hooked 45-90 a month, I could really give a ****. I took the Paxil this morning like a good drone. Homogenous reality is what we're all striving for - and no matter how hard we try to all get on the same even keel, brain chemistry wise, it's not going to happen - especially not in 3 days. So I'm in a quandry. Again, I more than appreciate your support. I honestly do. What's left of my rationality agrees wholeheartedly with you. The other side though..........Don't waste your day on me though tom...if things get better or worse, I will be sure to let you know....Thanks again.
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Hello.  I'm not sure why many physicians prescribe Paxil for opiate addicts, other than it is an effective antidepressant that has sedative effects.  I think many physicians think part of what some addicts are doing is self-medicating, and what they assume the addicts are self-medicating is anxiety.  Since Paxil has anti-anxiety properties, it is chosen.  What the physicians often don't consider is that it can be too sedating and is hard to withdraw from without rather unpleasant side effects.  Remeron is a relatively new antidepressant.  It is not exactly an SSRI, but is an alpha 2 receptor antagonist, which also blocks specific serotonin and norepinephrine receptors, increasing the amount of those chemicals in the nervous system.  It has few side effects, mainly some weight gain in some patients and it tends to be sedating.  It should be taken at night due to the sedating effect.  It seems to be effective at treating anxiety.  Because it has similar positive effects, and less side effects and is easier to withdraw from, it is a better choice IMHO than Paxil.  Celexa is a relatively new SSRI, the main side effect of which seems to be insomnia (and some sexual side effects).  Brian
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Hopefully you can see another doctor, because, unfortunately, by being so honest you
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Talked to my doctor last night about getting this stuff illegally...even in my darkest hour - my obsessive/compulsive behaviour and a huge bag of guilt that I carry would NEVER allow me to break the law...there's been MANY times when that 1 on the RX could easily be changed to a 4 (refill wise) I've worked at pharmacies - never stole. Never cruised the streets in my town (a town in which my doctor told me last night is very easy to get Vicodin off the street - stupid her for telling me) But either way - I've never gone that route...in 8 years! The closest I get is feigning a back ache at my aunts when I know she's got pills...or getting a couple from my sister when she gets hers filled...Hell, even when 2 of my best friends were hooked along with me - they worked in a pharmacy - they would hand me 50 at a time...my pocket would be brimmin' with the suckers - I NEVER took more than 8 a day. I was too afraid of the acetaminophen. So my conscience is quite strong in relation to my weakness as an addict. I'm not the usual case study I suppose...But I think you're right about the Doc. She told me last night that I will NOT be cut off from my Vicoprofen. But I know that the monitoring and the guilt and the overseeing is just gonna bug the **** out of me and make me feel worse about taking a drug that honestly helps my daily pain. Not saying you are like this - but there are a few 12 steppers out there that have really given AA a shitty name...I worked with a lady - 10 years sober - all she talked about was booze and the ladies that she knew at her meetings. You couldn't open a Pepsi without her commenting on how great that sound is to her. She went to meeting upwards of 5 times a day - it became her new all consuming habit - an environment that makes you feel that if you leave - bad things WILL return to your life. Sounds pretty culty to me at this stage of my life...of course, I may be VERY wrong. I made a HUGE generalization and realize that so forgive me if I offended you. Thanks for taking the time to talk this out with me...Do you HONESTLY think there is no going back with this doc? She is also my wife and baby girls doc. So there are no secrets...but it sure makes for an awkward time for me when I go in for immunization shots for my girl. Maybe you're right...I'll start shopping.

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No offence taken. Many addicts replace drug addiction with meeting addiction and it IS a pain in the ass. For some, it
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Mike,
you sound well and truly lost tonight. Been where you are SO many times ... Mike you must believe me: you need to seek out an AA or NA meeting tomorrow if not tonight. No one understands us but our fellow addicts. You might as well talk to the wall as talk to someone who hasn't been where we are. Only another struggling, recovering addict can lend you the kind of strength you need now. I think the worst thing about being an addict is the lonliness, anyway. You say you're chucking down Valiums and Lomotils and working the walk-ins for whatever they will give you. My memories of those goddamn clinics is hateful. It is so humiliating and dehumanizing. And the inevitable contempt punctuated with indifference you no doubt are getting from the staff of these clinics only makes you feel more isolated and even further from any meaningful help. The Valium, combined with the Lomotil and as many hot baths as you can stand will help you get through the night. But nothing will get better until you share your pain with people just like us in an AA or NA meeting. It doesn't matter what kind of meeting -- most addicts are hooked on multiple kinds of drugs anyway. But believe me, there is no magic combination of alternate drugs that will fix you. You must make contact with another human being who can lend you their strength -- and in helping you get through the night, they will help themselves. What Bill W. disovered about fellow addicts being the only ones who could help in this thing of ours is profound. The hand of another addict will lift you out of the abyss. I will monitor this bulletin board every 30 minutes from now on should you want to talk. Mike, you and I are human beings worthy of respect, human beings with futures in front of us, if only we can take each other's hand. Whatever help I can give to you across this internet -- I will give. You are not alone, Mike. My heart goes out to you wherever you are. Life can be so good. Stay alive tonight. Don't go back to the walk-ins or worse. We will both make it, you and I, if we take each other hands and help each other reclaim our own humanity. I will be here tonight as long as you want to talk.
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I too went to my doctor of ten years and told him I wanted to taper off my meds. I suffer from fibromyalgia and a harniated disk. I take 4 to 6 soma a day and 4 to 6 hydrocodones. My doctor sais he wasnt worried about it, and he kept filling me up every 10 days. Then, allof a sudden he gets worried? wants me to stop?
Then help me I said. Taper me off. He said I shouldnt have a problem, hell, does the thought of killing yourself not seem like a problem? H e said he would give me some ultram- NO WAY I said, thats just as bad. Now he ehs me in physical tharapy again and I hurt sooooo bad. He doesnt even want to discuss klonopin,
zanax, or elavil- he said its all in my head. I have two children and take care of my father who is dying of alzheimers
and I run my own hair salon. I am in pain 24/7. Yes Mike, when your in chronic pain you should have something to relieve it.I cant believe my doc of 10 yrs. just jokes about it. I told him to look at me like I was his first patient,not someone hes known for 10 yrs. He said klonopi was just as addicting,blah, blah,
has he lost his mind? does he know my heart races every night? I cant sleep have lost 16 pounds,ect. I'm definatly checking out anew doc. Thanks for listening.
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Hi Brian,
I'm glad to hear your reply which makes more sense than the logic of the doctor treating my daughter... not an addiction doctor... he's a psychiatrist. He had her on 40 mg. of Paxil ..up from 20 and a total of only 9 days on it as well. He just abruptly (no taper) took her off in favor of depakote. She is still on the Effexor though. The doctor before him mysteriously left staff and had been weaning her off the paxil... she had been off for 2 days and this new doctor put her back on and 9 days later took her off !! No wonder we are reading all these horror stories here. I am shocked at the use of these medications without continuity or not long enough to see results. I called this psychiatrist today and asked him about Remeron. He told me it was a poor choice for suicide ideation type of depression and to leave the practice of medicine up to him. Since Gina is in a treatment facility and he's the staff psychiatrist there is little that we feel we can do. I guess I'm just venting like some of the folks here. In any case, your comments are very helpful and are better than what some of us are paying for. Blessings. Brighty
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Hi Kacey,

I was able to bring up the message board page which I was only the 12th visitor to. All the questions there are copies of questions which were posted here on earlier dates which is curious to me. I cannot find a home page. When I try to get to the home page ( none is listed anyway) I get an error message. Does this site you are recommending have a home page and if so who is the webmaster ?? I wish to have more information on this site. Can you please post it ?? You left numerous messages here about this site and so far it seems to be another bogus site. Please correct me if I am wrong. Best wishes, Brighty
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Hi Brighty,

I left a message on Kacey's board, which apparently was ignored and then deleted, so I deleted Kacey's messages on this forum.

I agree that the whole thing looks bogus to me and we also resent being ripped off.

Regards,
Phil
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Phil... I think you really ought to delte my replies to Kacey also. There are some places here where I am replying to Kacey but there is no way for other fourm participants to see what it is I have replied to since his/her comments are missing.. so it does seem unusual or misleading. Thanks.
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I also suffer from chronic pain. I was taking tons of vicodin each day for that reason. When I did stop, it was the pain that always brought me back to them. I found a smart doctor and he switched me to Oxycontin. Any MD worth his weight know that this is the way to go. I lead a very successful lif eon them and do not have any more pain. My cravings are all gone. Short term opiates should never be given if you are going to take them longer than 2 weeks
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Michael I hear what your saying about the opiates getting you through the depression.Iwas on meds.for my depression long before i was put on percocet for chronic pain.I feel betterfrom my depression only when i am on the percocet.I am also on xanax,and oxycontin.I am so affraid of what will happen when i try to get off all the pain meds.How much worse will my depression be.I am a different person on the opiates.I have heard of depression after detox from drugs but what do you do when the deprssion was pre-existing.I dont see much light at the end of the tunnel.I am28 yrs.old,married with 3 boyswho need me now,so if anyone can suggest something I can possibly try please let me know.                                          sincerely,Bonnie
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I have been on Oxycontin for 2 years 30 mg 3x's per day, that is the prescribe dose. There are some days that I use 80 mg 6 or 7 times a day. I don't shoot oxy's but I do snort them. I have been off of them for four days now and I feel like I am dying. The withdrawl (withdrawal) sysmptoms are awful. The Chills, severe leg cramps, the shits, stomach cramps, I feel the worst is over at this point but I am very weak. My husband is not very supportive and that makes things even tougher. I pray to God that in a few days I will fell normal again. It seems when I take oxy's they make me feel normal. When I don't take them I feel empty or loss. besides they really motivate me when I take them. I have chronic back pain and that was the reason they were first prescribed for me. But now if I can't get them from 3 or 4 of my different doctors, I buy them off the street for a buck a mg. like I said I have clean four days and I hope I can do it.
thanks
Kay
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It is critical for you to give your body time to heal.  Don't expect to feel "normal" in a few days, it will take longer.  Of course you feel normal when you use the narcotic because your opiate receptors are now oriented toward receiving the narcotic each day.  Furthermore, your brain levels of certain "pleasure" chemicals such as dopamine are not currently at a proper level. Your focus right now needs to be the old "one day at a time."  As you said, the worst of the physical withdrawal is over.  Now comes the hardest part, the emotional/psychological effects.  The best way to help yourself is to join NA or AA so you can have the support of others like yourself who have been there and survived.  In addition, the positive message and hearing people who talk about how their lives are SO much better in recovery is critical.  Regardless of why you initially started the narcotics, I think you now know you have a SERIOUS addiction which will require treatment.  Please get the help you need.  Finally, with respect to the chronic back pain, there are many treatments which do not involve narcotics and you should speak to your doctor or a specialist about these.
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Every reply I just read sounded like the thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis!  I started out having kidney stones @ the age of 17 and was given Demerol, Darvocet,Percocet,
Zydone and Vicodin ES..   I got through that episode but then when I was 23 I had a severe car accident that almost killed me. Of course you know i was in a great deal of pain and needed relief one way or another.  I am currently taking Paxil 40mg and it  really has made me have better thoughts and ideas during the day but its the nightime that I do not like to deal with and I always start worrying before anything even happens....& sometimes never happens. I also have taken the ultram and that really does get rid of the pain.  Anyone offered an ultram RX should atleastgive it a try.I am still fighting the battle but I am not sure if that is such a good idea the way my back and legs hurt.  I really am not ready to go off of it yet.  I am 2 scared and uncomfortable to quit taking mine now cause i do not want to be in pain anymore.  The weird thing is .......I actually feel like I am as closer to normal than I ever have been! I get more things done around the house etc.  The pain has been taken away long enough for me to do what I need to do!!!   LEANN
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I was to on Paxil and found it didn't work for me.  Be very carefull when you stop taking it.  It caused very bad side effects for me.  i am on Effexor now and I also find this dosen't help.  I have also been on prozac and zoloft.  I hope there will be a medication that will work one day soon.
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I found a very helpful site today www.OxycontinNightmare.homestead.com
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ive been clean 7 days..i was sniffing about 3 80mg oxycontins a day for about a year..i have a bad case of depression and i dont give a **** about anything anymore..nothing makes me happy and i am about 2 seconds away from making that call to get oc's..any1 know a good way to get through this depression cuz i feel if i go any longer it cood get dangerous
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Welcome to the forum. You can look at the health Pages on the right of page. Look up the Thomas recipe and the amino acid posts. there is info to help you. also try posting on a new post. This one is from 2000.
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Hi Everyone:

I have read your posts with interest and compassion. I would like to throw a few thoughts out - please do not take offense - I have much compassion for your dilmmas.

1. Bypass all these "docs" and establish a good working relationship with someone CERTIFIED in addiction medicine (you can go to the website ASAM.org or get a referral from a reputable addiction treatment org in your community)
2.  all the talk about depression and anxiety - - you are not unique, not any of you - these are typical addiction issues. Addicts always think they are "different" - nope, you've all burned up the pleasure centers in your brain. GOOD NEWS: It is repairable most of the time but that takes time (back to #1)
3. you can't expect to give up your best friend, the love of your life, your mistress....and not replace it with something - that's why going to 12 step, really immersing yourself in it can save your life. It's a time to grieve a huge loss. The only person that can understand what you're going through is another recovering person.
4.  For those of you discussing chronic pain - if you work closely with a bonafide pain specialist, you can overcome this.  If your "pain specialist" is treating you with boatloads of opiates, benzos, and other sedatives, run! A true pain doc would never do this - they know that people with chronic pain are actually made WORSE with long term narcotic use. Narcotics actually cause pain! Read any current work in the field and see for yourself
5.  In the end, it's about getting your own "treatment team" together and taking suggestions from truly qualified people. You need comprehensive treatment to manage addiction, not just pharmaceuticals.
6.  Just to clarify: I support the use of antidepressants, suboxone, anything that is an adjunct in a treatment plan
7. Talk to people that are having success in their recovery and ask how they do it day-to-day. Take direction from the winners
8. Good luck to all!!! - stick with the winners - get support - EVERY ONE OF YOU can get off this merry-go-round if you stop "doing it your way" and surrender....a common mantra is "your best thinking got you here" so listen up!
ALL THE BEST TO YOU ALL!
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352798_tn?1343321200
Great post. Try putting this in a new "Post A Question" button. Otherwise it will be wasted on this old post from 2000. (MedHelp puts it back into archives)
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544873_tn?1214539925
I am a long time opiate addict.  I have been trying to get clean sense 2005.  it's been nothing but rehab, programs and sober living houses for the past three years.  The longest i have been clean is about six or seven months.  this last time i managed to stay clean for three months.  I put myself in a long term program in idaho, which is far from home.  The only reason I made it three months is because I had no money,  no where to go, and no way to get there.  I had no choice but to endure the panic, the raw anxiety,   the extreme discomfort that it is to be clean.  Normally i would drink hard alcohol if for whatever reason i didn't have oxy, which is how i spent the two weeks after i got out of rehab before going to the program in idaho and i don't even like booze.  That three months was aganizing, i felt like a mental patient.  Everyone called me doom because i would go through periods of hopless debilitating depression.  If i wasn't utterly depressed, i was super irritable, aggitated and afraid like someone who has post traumatic stress disorder.  It was  like this for the whole three months, moods would fluxuate with intensity.  Most of the time my cravings for oxycontin were intense.  I wanted desperatley to feel normal.  It would get worse, and get better, and get worse, which wore down my patients.    At the worst times,  i would burry my head in my hands, wishing that i could flip a swich to turn off my concsiousness.  I didn't really understand that this was all opiate related because weeks had gone by with no sign of improvement.  Spring break was coming up, i was to go home for two weeks and come back.  I knew i had given up because i was just as uncomfortable after three months clean as i was day two.
I relapsed at home, and it was good to feel like my old self again.  Self ehestiem, energy, motivation, contentment, ambition, and all the other wonderfull things we all take for granted were back.  I fell in love with oxycontin once again.  I wanted to go back to the program and reintroduce mysellf again as me instead of the doom character they knew so well.  I never went back, and i was back up to five, six 80's a day.  My relapse lasted a short month until it stopped working, my tolerence was sky high, and i was broke, desperate and spiritually rottin, and desperate for help once again.  I went to see a detox doctor who put me on seboxone which i had been on before many times but had been taken off of it to quickly.  That made sense to me.  Seboxone is a brand of bupinorphene. Basically it's an opiate blocker, so when you take it, your receptors are occupied so your brain isn't screaming for opiates.  It significantlly reduces cravings and withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms.
The good news is that it acts like a cast for the brain which was recently discovered.  So your brain can return to normal and in the mean time you don't have to suffer as much.  A lot if people think that it just delays the recovery process and that your just continuing your addiction but it turns out that thats not true with seboxone.  It is with methadone.  Anyway i hope to stay clean for good this time and my heart goes out to the rest of you.            
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231048_tn?1214358053
i've been on the drug effexor for about 3 years due to depression. Then my b/f and i became addicted to oxycontin we quit and after we did he experienced sever depression. I was ok though becus of the effexor. in my personal experience its an absolutly wonderful drug.
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I have been in may car accidents, from which I suffered very severe injuries (you can read my profile if you want to know them.)  I have been prescribed 3 * 80 mg oxycontins and 4* 30 mg roxycodone a day for over a year now.  My mother believed that I was abusing pain medication, because after my most recent accident I was unable to work like I always had. Despite my families knowledge of my medical history, they convinced my ex to take me to court so that he could have full custody of my daughter who I had been taking care of by myself sicne she was 18 months old (she is now five.) I have done spinal decomprssion, accupunture, I have an inversion table in my home.  My doctor wrote a note for me to take to court saying that at no time did he believe I was abusing or misusing my medication, I had several credible witnesses testify that I was a great and very capable mother.  I lost full custody of my daughter, I now see her 8 days a month, I fear that the only way I will be able to get her back is if I no longer need medication.  With out telling my dr. I have been weening my self down and am now two weeks with out it I have been taking a little suboxone here and there and welbutrin twice a day.  But I can't seem to get up to do anything I feel like I am stuck on my couch.  I am obbing whie I type this I am so scared that I am going to loose my daughter, I reslly don't feel like I have anything left to live for. I don't know what to do, please help.
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401095_tn?1351395370
jessica..this is an old post..u will get more response if u post a new question  (:
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For all of you who are feeling like there is no hope and that without the opiates life just is too hard to cope with I understand and have been in your shoes.. Almost two years ago I would get up take my percocet and feel wired for a couple hours but as soon as they wore off I felt the need to keep taking them.. I got really bad that I was taking oxycotin and getting them off the street.. To mk a very long story short I went to my doctor who repeatedly told me I too needed anti-depressants and things would be fine in a few months..then it told her I wanted to stop the opiates once and for all and I needed help.. So she referred me to a doctor that had a license to prescribe suboxone.. The day I got my script was the first day of my new life.. I have not used opiates since the day I took my first pill.. I also started lexapro 6 months after the suboxone and I can finally feel a difference in my everyday life.. I hope any of you can use my experience and my advise and ask your doctor about the suboxone.. Its a lifesaver.. Good luck to all of you.. Don't ever give up
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For all of you who are feeling like there is no hope and that without the opiates life just is too hard to cope with I understand and have been in your shoes.. Almost two years ago I would get up take my percocet and feel wired for a couple hours but as soon as they wore off I felt the need to keep taking them.. I got really bad that I was taking oxycotin and getting them off the street.. To mk a very long story short I went to my doctor who repeatedly told me I too needed anti-depressants and things would be fine in a few months..then it told her I wanted to stop the opiates once and for all and I needed help.. So she referred me to a doctor that had a license to prescribe suboxone.. The day I got my script was the first day of my new life.. I have not used opiates since the day I took my first pill.. I also started lexapro 6 months after the suboxone and I can finally feel a difference in my everyday life.. I hope any of you can use my experience and my advise and ask your doctor about the suboxone.. Its a lifesaver.. Good luck to all of you.. Don't ever give up
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To Michael who wrote in April of 2000 I wonder where you are now its been over 9 years. have you gotten clean? are you still taking opiates? If your there please reply. I am another Micheal. everything you said sounds like me right now. I can handle the pain the nausea the headaches and body aches that come with withdrawals. Its the depression that keeps bringing me back to using. I have been on oxycontin for 7 years now. i am taking between 100 and 1400 mgs a day. I get a prescription for these monthly and are paid for by insurance. It costs me nothing. I can't stand the way I feel when coming off of them. I don't want to be a slave to them. I want off!
I tried suboxone and it worked great! except I got severely constipated. and depressed in the evenings. the days were fine. The problem with them was they make it difficult to get them. you have to go to a pharmacy each morning to get your dose and 2x weekly you have to see the doc for a urine test. The clinic is 30 miles a way so it is not possible to continue for long, it gets to be too much, then I miss a day, then its two, I take an oxy for the withdrawals and before you know it I am back on 140 mgs of oxy's a day. If they would just give you a script for a month like the oxys I would have no problem staying on them. They just make it so difficult to recover.
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for the last 25 years ive had DDD in my whole spine and fibromyalgia since i was 14 years old im 41 now i have suffered most my life even got to the point where i didnt tell the doctors im in pain. but then my cervical went stenotic on me with many bony spurs all around up and down even some disk tissue broken off causing the pain to even go further. i couldn't sit up anymore. then i tried and went to the doctor which diagnosed me from first sight. as i gave him my history and told him my symptoms he gave me lyrica and lortab and and percocet for times in severe pain that the lortab didn't help. i got better and finally was able to even ride a bike again. i had a life. for years before him i had seen many doctors and they all thought i had a small case of DDD and depression i never could take the anti depressants they made me have nightmares and slept constantly tryed all anti inflammatory there is on the market im allergic to them and have scars from them meaning ear blown and sinus problems list goes on. anyway ive moved to virginia from houston and all doctors say sergery (surgery) or no meds and so now i will be abruptly taken off my meds cus i cant find a doctor. that will just take over my former doctor they wont give me my meds im afraid can anyone tell me what can i do ive been to 7 doctors and none will treat me as my old doctor did they want to give me steroids which i took a week pack of and had 2 heart attachs thaats what steroids and nonsteroidal medications do to me i dont think that sergury will help and i think they will make my fibro even worse which is way at 12 pain now  please if i get off all my meds what will happen and if  just stop taking them could i have a stroke or a heart attach is there something i can take that will help with pain the doctors can give me to help me with pain that will help with bodies addiction and my pain
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711224_tn?1344775287
Hi and welcome to the forum! you have posted on an old tread and your question might pass by unnoticed.... Please past it and start your own... This place is a life savior, you'll be surprised how much feed back you can get.
Hang in there, you can do this.
Best of luck
sophie
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I went to rehab 3 months ago and just recently relapsed its been two maybe 3 weeks and I've been doin between 40and 80 mg everyother day to every day ..... I gunna stop tomoro does any one think I'm gunna withdrawl (withdrawal) bad .. Casue I'm scared and don't wanna go thro it again ...
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1047946_tn?1332611629
You posted to a old thread. You should start you own post that way it's dedicated to you. At the top of the page click the green box that says "ask a question". Sometimes when people post to a older thread it tends to get overlooked.
As far as withdrawals, you more than likely will feel them. It is nothing to be scared of. Granted, they are not fun but not impossible either. There are many on here that have been through them, getting ready to go through them, or going through them now. Lean on this forum for support. There are some amazing people on here that will not judge, just help you fight through this. There is no painless way to get through withdrawals. It just takes time. The worst of the physical withdrawals are usually over with by day 5 or so. It's such a short amount of time to be free of addiction. Come here and post often.
You can make it through this. If you need anything, please let me know.
Best of luck to you!
Brian
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I have been a OC addict for over a year, it started with 20s, then 40s, then 80s. The tolerance kept getting higher and I only used to sniff them but then started smoking them (chase the dragon method on tin foil with a tube). At that point I could do as many as 10 80s in a day. that is no typo. That is 800mgs of OC in a day. Sniffing that much woudl result in OD of course, but smoking you dont absorb as much but it is much more addictive. It took financial ruin for me to take steps to quit and now i am waking up from a bad dream into an even worse nightmare. I have no money, i have months of back rent, i am back on antidepressands and anti anxiety medication to deal with the mental and emotional problems from teh withdrawls. I have been suffereing severe depression with suicidal tendencies for years since my dad killed himself and i started using OC because it was an escape. a way to feel happy and socialize and talk to girls be be able to go out...now I cant go out of the house without it because of the withdrawls. I have to plan ahead everything I do to make sure I have enough to not get sick while I am out of away or at work. I know how hard it can be and this is the lowest and most difficult time in my life. harder than my dads suicide, harder than any relationship ending, harder than anything anyone can imagine unless they have gone through it. I dont have money for tratment so I researched methadone detox and am down to 20-30 mgs a day which is a VERY low dosage considering some addicts require up to 500mgs a day. It took me a long time to get to this point and while I am on zoloft which helped before with the depression, there are days i cannot go to work because i sit in bed for 6 or 8 hours staring at the ceiling and crying for no reason at all. I have lost control of my emotions and my body, as well as my entire life and I am trying desperately to take back control and even though i have broken the OC viscious cycle, the place I am in now is even worse and even harder and I keep slipping due to the depression and suicidal thoughts. I keep going back to the 80s and will smoke 3 or 4 of them to get those thoughts out of my head. I am in debt, I am broke, I may lose my apartment, my life is in tatters all because of OC and the escape I used it for. I could not deal with reality and smoked weed for a decade as my escape, had porblems with alcohol from time to time, but then OC took over every part of my life. I spent rent money to get more because i cannot function without it. And while I am off it now, the depression is unbearable. I am looking into psychological therapy, group sessions, support groups, alternative treatments but I am broke so I am limited to programs for the financially challenged. It is a long hard uphill battle ahead, the most difficult thing I have ever had to do by a LONG shot, but I know once I get through this and take my life back I can fix things. But the damage I have caused myself is already done and I am in a self induced financial ruin due to the addiction and the OC escape. I sincerely can relate to anyone who is having problems with OC and this drugs is the devil. If you are jsut starting, stop now. If its prescribed, ask for something else. I started out small, on 20s, and I always thought i could stop whenever but within the first 12 hours of trying to stop you will go thru withdrawls so bad you will pay anything to get more and make those feelings go away. It is a viscious terrible drug and I wish I had never EVER started using it because it has taking my life away from me, my happiness away from me, my will to live away from me. I think about killing myself every second of every day. every bus that drives by i want to step in front of. I had to sell my home defense handgun because i was too afraid i would use it on myself when i hit one of those lows in teh depression. I cannot walk across bridges because i am afraid i will impulsively jump off. You do not want your life to get to the point I am at and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Please believe me that anyone who thinks they have control of it is only deceving themselves and I thought and believed the same thing for a long time. NEVER start with oxycontin. never ever ever ever. It is the devil.
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