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Depression as a withdrawal symptom

I had surgery for colon cancer when I was 20 and immediately after was diagnosed with severe acid reflux with stomach spasms.  My family doctor has been prescribing me with percocet and Losec for pain for the last 2 years.  I was taking 2 pills when required (approx. 2-3x/week).  There have been days before when I didnt use anypills, and I was fine.  The last 2 months before I quit my job was very stressful and I was experiencing pain all day, and I started to take percocet all day-everyday (not to exceed 5 pills/day) and Ativan 1mg (when required).  I now find since leaving my job I am no longer experiencing any pain and would like to discontinue use.  I stopped taking them 3 days ago and now am having cold sweats, shaking, moodswings, insomnia and SEVERE DEPRESSION/PANIC/ANXIETY.  To relieve some of these symptoms I started to take 1/2 pill 3-4x/day.  I am no longer experiencing the shaking but still have the depression/panic.  I have just started a new job and feel that I don't want to or can't do it.  It comes and goes numerous times throughout the day and is so overwhelming I have to force myself not to just walk away from the job.  Is this a symptom of withdrawal or am I even having withdrawals at all?  If it is a symptom of withdrawal, can I expect that sooner or later it will deacrease then be eliminated completely?  I am desperate to find an answer as the 3 doctor's I've seen just gave me Darvon or some other prescription that I dont think I want.
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I want you to get the help you need.  Go up to top and click on the orange ask a question button and copy/paste this to start a new thread.  That way your post won't be missed. It is a good group and you will get help.
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Avatar universal
Hi everyone.  I just found this site... was looking out of desperation for some answers to what I was experiencing and here it looks like I've found them!  :-/  I have had sever ulcers for about two years, which means I can't take NSAI's, so when I get migraines, or when the ulcer pain gets really bad, or when I have dental work done (root canals, extractions, etc) I have been given Percs by my Dr to deal with the pain.  Well about a month and a half ago my ulcers were acting up really bad, and I was taking about a half a five mg tablet once a day... sometimes every other day... and then my stomach started to feel better due to a med change taking effect and I started going to every other day with the Percs.  I thought I was going crazy... but at the end of day two, beginning of day three I felt HORRIBLE.  Like suicidal.  Which is SO unlike me ... very unusual.  Once I noticed it was correlating to end of day two after not taking a Perc I thought "hmmm... now isn't that interesting."  I felt like ****, but decided the quicker I got off the better.  Wouldn't you know it, seven days out I got a severe migraine (I get one for two days *every month* if you know what I mean) and I had homework to do (full time college student) and had to take care of my girl (I'm a single mom), so I took a half tablet day one of migraine, and a half the next day.  Then I was ok the next day... and BAM, end of day two, there I was again, crying uncontrollably, and feeling, literally, like killing myself.  Today's Friday, and I haven't taken one since last Saturday, and I kinda thought the depression would have passed by now but I am still on this roller coaster thing where I am just fine one minute and sobbing wanting to die or something the next.  I don't have TIME for this nonsense and want it to pass NOW!  Nothing in me says "ah, take another pill, you can withdraw later"... I've never purchased pain killers (they've all been prescription for here and there issues like dental work, etc)  or doctor hopped for prescriptions... and I feel no urge to do this... I have no urge to do anything, actually.  I just want to not be here anymore :(  How long do you suppose the depression will last?  Maybe you all will think I couldn't possibly be addicted on such a low dose for such a short period of time, or that I'm being a baby or something... but my body gets hooked on anything real quick... even notice a slight mood shift when I run out of antihistamines before I get my refills!! lol.  Sounds stupid, maybe, but there you go.  This is my story ...
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Avatar universal
I was in the same situation taking both Valium and narcotic pain relievers for whatever reasons.  I THOUGHT I could simply taper off both.  I've tapered off lower uses of Vicodin before.  After about 3 months the PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS were gone but the mental/ DEPRESSION began to set in.  It was BAD - *suicidal feeling bad* (until I read a web site explaining that suicide is simply a desire to be rid of pain - not life, not really just the PAIN of life) I felt physically - uncomfortable/painful bad - the exact opposite of the "warm fuzzies" the drugs gave me until I maxed out to maintenance.  I had all the symptoms listed by in the top posting.  Apparently I can take Buphrenophine to "sooth" out withdrawals but them I'm addicted to THAT!  As someone stated I realized part of the panicky feeling was (even though it was over the course of a year down to 1/4 mg a day! of Valium) I was buzzing.... agitated, paranoid.   It can take your brain (when left naturally) two years to come out severe depression.  I teach and my personality is constantly under scrutiny I can't afford two years of living hell - I could lose my job for just being too incapable of normal function.  People expect a teacher to have superhuman grounding and "normalcy" at the same time.    I may be resigned to being on some "benzo" type antianxiety drug for life (apparently most doctors how no idea or have any drugs to treat those symptoms I don't trust the clinics that charge 10K and SAY they can do it in a week.. too good to be true and far too expensive a risk if it doesn't work ).  
  Should I expect DEPRESSION when I finally come off Buphrenophine?    Thanks in advance for any words from those who've managed the journey off narcotic - (two years is easy but 10 - well my brain is just used to opiates around substituting for the brain's normal euphoria chemistry.) Thus MAJOR  depression.
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Avatar universal
I have read many of your comments in search for a way to help quit my addiction.  I too fear the mental battle that lies ahead.  Perhaps the hardest part about it is not knowing when it is going to end.  

As an addict i function well, at least i think so, i have work and school and completing these tasks with out being "high" or having that high too look forward to after or before is very challenging.  

Ive tried to think of things to help make the process easier on my self and so i dont start using again

1. be honest with yourself, your friends, and your loved ones *about everything

2. erase all the phone numbers of people you contact to get the drug talk about the drug or anything that will trigger the addiction which can be almost impossible but something to think about

3. eat lots of fruit and veggies (couldn't hurt)

4. change up my routine? somehow

5. try to exercise even know the thought of exercising without being high sounds impossible ill have to do it somehow to maybe produce the endorphines my body is missing?

i dont have the money to go to rehab or the time to take off from my two jobs and work to just quit it all to quit drugs so if im going to do it have to do so while being productive from hearing everyones stories this sounds impossible but i have to do it theres no way around it.  

Ive heard of a drug that is supposed to make withdrawing easer called suboxin but why take another drug to get off one makes no sense to me

any other tips you guys have is greatly appreciated

hang in there we can do it
richard
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Avatar universal
Hey everyone Im new here and saw everything you guy's are going through and I feel for all of you Anyone who uses is in my prayers.

I just want to say I have been on Lortab now for 2 years due to back pain and I am so sick of everything that comes with taking them. Im sick of the feeling when I run out, Im sick of everything I go through to get more, Im sick of stressing out about them always on my mind. I made a choice to quit recently and im going to do it.

Its day 3 and I am past the worse of the pain and have noticed it declining with everyday.

The pain is not what im concerned about though. The depression is whats killing me here, I have no desire to do anything at all, no motivation and I am just stuck with stress. I follow my wife around like a puppy talking to her cuz that's what helps and when she leaves I get this sick feeling. I know this is expected but when can I start to notice this depression fading? I have been told a week to a MONTH. I cant imagine being this depressed for a whole month. out a year back

I have tried to stop before about  a year back and remembering the same feeling of depression and utter defeat but If I can remeber correctly it only lasted 4-5 days tops. Can I expect the same thing this time around?

Seeing as this is my 3rd day can I expect the depression to start to go away anytime soon?

Ty

Link
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Avatar universal
I have a nephew taking oxycotin he is to sorry to work so he supports his habit by robbing my mom and dad he is a piece of **** and all you sick bastards are just like him  ps Im sorry for the comments but go to rehab
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Avatar universal
I have a nephew taking oxycotin he is to sorry to work so he supports his habit by robbing my mom and dad he is a piece of **** and all you sick bastards are just like him  ps Im sorry for the comments but go to rehab
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Avatar universal
Ativan wears off fast and causes withdrawals similar to the symptoms you are taking the drug for.The underlying symptoms re-emerge and combine with the drug withdrawals,this is called "rebound",it is the pits!!.If you are on Ativan for Panic Disorder then that is a Physician error as the Type of Benzodiazepine and dose are wrong.I did not know you had Panick disorder,if you do then normally Xanax in doses of around 6mg daily are usually required,this is equivalent to around 12mg of Ativan,so if you are recieving for TRUE panick Disorder,we have a big problem.
Symptoms of a panick attach:
shortness of breath and smothering sensations
choking
chest discomfort or pain
palpitations and accerated heart rate
sweating
dizziness,faintness
nausea or abdominal distress
Depersonalization or derealization
numbness or tingling sensations
flushes or chills
trembling or shaking
Fear of dying or impending doom
fear of going crazy or doing something uncontrolled.
Initialy these feeling occur spontaneously but later become associated with events like travel on public tranport,being in a supermarket,etc.You must have at least 4 of these symptoms and they must occur or have fear of occurance at least 4 times per month to fit the Psychiatrists Definition,however GP`s,Doctors can prescribe and they are not as discerning.
About 32 out of every 1000 woman suffer from Panick disorder,it is a severely debilitating disorder that leads to increased substance abuse and mortality.
Limited symptom panick attacks occur much more often and are hard to differenciate from anxiety,EXCEPT they start ABRUPTLY,reach a peak in around 10 mins and subside in an hour or so.This is also the hallmark of Panick Disorder,sudden and then dissapears,whereas anxiety can remain constant for years.
Xanax,Valium and Ativan are all addictive Benzodiazepines and seem to work for up to 8 months(when taken daily in large quantity),so the long term prognosis is a mystery to me,If on Xanax you must taper using Xanax or Klonopin as other Benzodiazepines are not completely cross tolerant.If you want to taper and stop using Ativan switch to valium 15mg daily(equal to 1.5mg Ativan)and reduce half a tablet every 3 to 4 days.If you trully have Panick Disorder,see a Psychiatrist OR find a physician who knows about Xanax and will taper you from it 0.5mg/4days max when it becomes a problem eventually.First try a non Benzodiazepine drug as the benzo`s are a mind bender,to say the least,30% of people who take xanax in 6mg doses for Panick Disorder fail to EVER taper to zero.At this point I cannot recommend a suitable non-Benzodiazepine Anti-Panick Drug.
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Avatar universal
Hello,

I know what you mean.  I find it very frustrating when I need somebody to talk to and nobody I know can understand.  My husband is aware of my problem but I am sure he doesn't understand.  He makes light of it or just nods his head as though he is listening.  In fact, I am afraid to even tell him because when we get in a fight he will say I am not thinking straight because I am on so many drugs.  

This is the only place I can turn to when I need support.  It has gotten easier now that time has passed but I still get excessive cravings.  

I can see how it would be difficult for you to deal with this since your major source of support, (your mother), is gone. Fortunately, we have all found this site to help put us at ease.  I know for me, without this site, I wouldn't have even known the symptoms I was having were withdrawals.

I hope you are feeling better.  I've never had pnemonia before but I've heard it's pretty bad.

Take Care,

Tara
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Avatar universal
Hi Spook,

My doctor gave me ativan to control the panic attacks but I did not know that it could cause panic.  I will try valium because the panic has been worse lately.  Is valium addictive?  I am not very familiar with all of these meds.  All I know is what I've taken so this is all pretty new to me.  I have also found that I become extremely irritable when the ativan wears off.  Is this a normal side effect?  I have searched ativan and only found that it can cause confusion and other symptoms that do not apply to me.  Please reply with your thoughts.

Thanks,

Tara

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Avatar universal
Thank you Tara, you took the words right out of my mouth.  I know we have a tendency to suffer in silence.  What makes us do this?  shame and guilt.  I have been battling addiction for many years and it is like carrying around a monster on my shoulders.  it had taken over my life, consumed me and became my obsession.  I have been feeling so down in the dumps like everyone else.  And like the people in this forum, I feel so comfortable here.  Finaaly, I feel like I belong somewhere.  I hate that my friends and family think that I am so strong to overcome so many obtacles.  They have no idea how I struggle.  My mom was my mainstream of support, she is gone, my husband is in recovery and has been clean for 10 years.  It is very easy for him or so it seems.  well, anyway, I'm on my way back to bed, this pneumonia has done me in this week  take care cindi
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Avatar universal
Tara,this is all perfectly normal,you should never abruptly stop Opioid(narcotic)Analgesics or Benzodiazepines.
you are on day 3 and your symptoms are peaking from both drugs,just taper off slowly as you feel comfortable,but switch to valium as your benzodiazepine.Ativan withdrawal is causing all the panics,you said as required,so I assume at least once a day,Ativan wears of very quick and causes these panicks if you go to valium and taper of it you will feel fine.

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Avatar universal
Tara,this is all perfectly normal,you should never abruptly stop Opioid(narcotic)Analgesics or Benzodiazepines.
you are on day 3 and your symptoms are peaking from both drugs,just taper off slowly as you feel comfortable,but switch to valium as your benzodiazepine.
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Avatar universal
Tom, I just read your post about what's going on at work and how upset and depressed you've been about taking the pills.  I am so sorry to hear what you are going through and you know I'll be here for you.  I do not judge you Tom and do understand how you feel.  I myself should have been half way through med school by now and guess what?  Pills have gotten in the way - all the call outs, the cop - outs, the lieing to get what I think I want and need!  It sucks, doesn't it?  It's alright though  -  there is light at the end of the tunnel and when you are ready to live a life clean of all drugs, you will know and I want you to know that I will do everything I can to help you -  Your friend, Maryanne
PS  -  keep in touch via email and from now on, I'm going to try to read through these comments more thoroughly, I had no idea this was going on...
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Avatar universal
Hi Katie,

Actually, I think you responded to my question a couple of weeks back when I posted the question at the top of this thread regarding depression as a withdrawal symptom (that is pretty much all there is to my story).  Now I am weaning myself off of percocet with the help of everyone here.  I am having alot of ups and downs too but I am trying to stay positive.  I was reading your posts and feel very scared for you.  I know what the initial withdrawal felt like (which seemed to be 100 times worse),and I cannot imagine going through that numerous times.  I hope that things get somewhat better when you return to work.  I know that the busier I am, the more I can keep my mind off of the pills.  Do you know what happens at AA or NA meetings as I am totally clueless on this subject?

Have a nice day!

Tara
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Avatar universal
I second that! This forum is the only place I open up and spill my guts. And it does help to know I'm not alone.
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Avatar universal
Well folks,

When I originally posted it was kinda of like hurling a rock into the sky, not knowing or caring where it would land, just a moment of frustration when I could be honest with someone. Obviously it's virtual honesty, but the people in this thread are just like me. Addicted, wanting to change, not wanting to change, intelligent, functiong people who are trapped. I have see so much caring and inspiration in the last week, just in this thread. I think maybe you will be my friends. Oh I have plenty of friends who think I am successful, a family man, a great guy to have a beer with etc. But there is not a soul in the world I can talk to about my dependence on pain killers. I just want to say thank you all for your kind words and encouragement to each other. Tom, hang in there. I think what I see here is insight - we may not have a lot of other good characteristics and I even consider myself an upscale junkie, but I really want a better life and can really feel for the first time that others out there have the same regrets and suffer from the despair I do. That means something, it really does.
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Avatar universal
Hi Tara. Your post was great. Thanks! I guess we do beat ourselves up alot....but you're right when you say at least we are here and facing the fact that we have a problem. You guys are a great bunch of people. This forum has been a lifesaver for me. Up until a year ago I thought I was alone. I still have my same problems but at least now I have people to talk to about it.
Tara......what is your story? How did you end up here? I could probably read back and find some old posts. :) Just curious how you ended up in here and how long you've been struggling with this. Again...thanks for your post. I needed some perking up!
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Avatar universal
I've been opiate free for over 72 hours now.  Already I feel my old self coming back again.  I decided to quit because I feared that I was starting to go down that old road again.  With a little help from my friends in AA, I made the decision.  It's pretty scary no matter which way you decide to go but I chose to stick with the winners instead of the whiners.  J.B.

It's only a life and death matter.
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Avatar universal
I hear you, man. And you're absolutely right about how I should react to it. So, far, this is what I've managed to do. But they're a ruthless bunch and loyalties are paper-thin. If I walked out now, 48 hours later no one would remember I ever existed. However, I know deep down I made it happen and I need to take responsibility for it. But, man, nothing stings like wounded pride. The fact that the reason it happened MUST remain secret simply makes me look like even more of an enigmatic flake. I work for a start-up on its third round of venture capital financing, so the IPO is a life or death thing and the project I'm on is the key to going public. And, yes, I have stock options that could wind up being anything from worthless to enough for a down payment on a house. So I have good reasons to tough it out and make it work. But the loss of respect of my peers hurts deep down and knowing it was entirely my own doing makes me hate myself. And always for the same goddamn reason. What's that line about "counting the cost"? After thirty years of opiate addiction, I don't dare make a full tally of all I've done and failed to do. I'm 47, so you can see I've never known what adult life is like truly sober and I may never know. But I know what shames feels like tonight. Thanks for your wise words, Tom G.
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Avatar universal
Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is feeling better today.  I am reading all the above posts and I can see that everyone is kind of in the dumps right now and I think we are being hard on ourselves.  You know, there are alot of addicts that do not even have the want to quit and that is something that is a shame.  But everyone on this forum is here for the same reason, they want to get better and I think that is a start that everyone should be proud of.  I myself am proud that I have even brought myself to this forum and I think everyone here has accomplished something by doing the same.  I'm not excusing any addictions but I am saying that we are much farther ahead than if we were using with no thought of ever quitting.  When I get depressed now I can put that thought in my head and try to get another step closer to my goal.  I hope everyone will try to think positive when times are the hardest, otherwise we could get closer to the possibility of giving up.  I hope this makes everyone feel somewhat better because I know that when I am down the people on this forum make everything better for me.  I feel very secure here with all of you!

Tara
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Avatar universal
Tom, I just finished reading your post. I'm in a similar situation. I didn't share this in any of my earlier posts because I was ashamed. I have almost screwed up my whole life because of these damn pills. I'll give you the short version. Chasing these pills around has ruined my marriage, my credit and almost my job. I have been at the same job for 22 years. But over the last 2 years I've gone to hell in a speed boat. If I'm out of pills, I just can't focus. I've missed so much work it's just downright pitiful. I used to be one of the top employees and now I'm at the bottom of the list. I can't remember the last time I worked a 40 hour week. I finally went to my doctor and got 6 weeks off to try and get my **** together. Well, my 6 weeks are almost over and my **** is still scattered all over. No one at works knows about this. They all think I'm very ill....they see me struggling to get through the day, they see me breaking out in a sweat then getting chills, they see me run to the bathroom and they see me burst into tears for no reason. I guess if they ever find out that I brought this "illness" on myself, they'd probably tar and feather me. I left my husband because trying to deal with this addiction and deal with him was just too overwhelming. And another reason I left is because I have gotten fo far into debt trying to support my habit and ...well, I don't want to be within 10 miles of him when he finds out. I'm staying with my mom for now. And even with all this going on.....the only thing I can think of is.....I CAN GET MY LORTAB REFILLED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep! Today is the day. Of course I haven't been doing without....I got hold of some darvocets but lortab is my drug of choice and I'm counting the hours till I can pick up my prescription. Thank God for this forum. Like you said....it's the one place we can be ourselves. You guys know more about me than my own family and friends do. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about this mess. I guess I'll deal with that when I'm down to my last few lortabs,huh? Ok, thanks for listening!
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Avatar universal
It's tough to go on when it seems that life in general has knocked all the wind out of our sails.  And then depression sets in to deliver the death blow!  Like Tom, and many others here I have been fighting this war with addiction for many years.  For me, depression is the cruelest part of the whole progression.

I've tried most of the AD's like Prozac,Paxil,Effexor and a few mood elevators like Elavil.  For me, nothing works except complete abstinance from all mood altering drugs.  Programs like AA and NA gave me a high like no other I've experienced.  It's great to feel great and have self esteem and be substance free!

That all disappeared when I relapsed some time ago when life dealt me a bad hand and I wasn't strong enough to cope. Now I suffer fits of depression, self pity, anxiety and just plain fear.  I will keep trying though because I know that there really is a light at the other end of the tunnel.  People like you help to light the way for me! J.B.
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Avatar universal
thanks, my friend. I will take your words to heart and consider your advice. I thank god that I have someone like you to talk to. The world can be a dark and cold place. Hearing from you has given me a little warmth and light. I don't even know who you are yet I feel the security of your companionship. Have a good night.
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