Aa
Detox soon
Hi there everyone!!! I am brand new to this forum. It's the first I have joined. I was hoping to gain some support here as many of you are. Having support from family and friends is KEY to sobriety to my knowledge, but speaking to people who have gone through addiction, withdrawal, relapse, etc. is much different and helpful in its own way (for me anyway).
I'll start off my telling you guys about my addiction and why I am here looking for support. About 2 years ago I started my long and life-ruining addiction to Norcos. This addiction began because I am one out of a million girls who has ridiculously painful periods. Im not talking about just cramps. I full on have nausea and heavy vomiting, I take those days off work, an am pretty much in the emergency room at least 3 times a year because of the pain. Not even the norcos control the pain. I began taking only two 5mg vicodins a day on my period and it seemed to ease the pain at that time. After taking it for so long the vics not only stopped helping, but made it worse because they decrease the amount of estrogen your body creates thus, making your periods even more painful. Today I am taking anywhere from 25-30 norcos a day (10mg/325). Basically, I take anyway from 250mg - 300mg of hydrocodone a day. A script of 100 norcos will last me 4 - 5 days at the BEST. I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought that i could be addicted to drugs. See, I work at a hospital and am hoping to become a physician one day and know that drug users/drug seekers are frowned upon. I have been pretty much living a lie for the past 1 1/2 years. The first time I began using, I was on a very low dosage compared to now. I was taking 15mg MAYBE 30mg at the most of hydrocodone/p day. When i ran out of vics one day, I didnt think much of it besides the fact that I wasnt going to be high that night. What I didnt know is that I would go through 3 days of PURE HELL. I began withdrawals that night and thought I was sick. When i hopped onto the internet i realized I was having withdrawals from the vics. I was in shock. My very best friend in the world who absolutely hates drugs and drug abusers helped me through it. Even my boyfriend who spent the night didnt know what I was going through.
A month or so after being clean, I was going crazy because of the little or no sleep that I had gotten in the last month i was starting to go a little crazy on account of I am such a fan of sleep. A friend of mine was prescribed vics for her injury and asked her for 2. It ALLLLL re started from there. I am soooo sorry to make my story so long but I just feel like its part of a step I need to take to recover. My boyfriend (the love of my life), and my best friend had absolutely NO IDEA for the past 2 years that roller coaster I have been through. I am basically working full time to support my drug habit. I used to have an impeccable credit score 2 years ago....I am now on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. I was in school full time but, I havent taken a single class in the past year or so. My boyfriend and I broke up as a result of my drastic behaviors and moods. i couldnt blame him, he didnt know what the hell was even going on.
3 days ago, I decided that I just had had ENOUGH of this bull**** controlling my life. I left my house, went to the park and just thought to myself for hours. I thought about how my life is too incredibly grand to be wasted and crumbled down to nothing because of a drug that I didnt even get high off of anymore. The only reason I have even been taking it so long is to be normal and not have to face the hells of withdrawal. The same night, my boyfriend, or should I say EX-boyfriend, whom I hadnt spoken to for a 1 1/2 months because we had broken up called me to tell me that he knows everything. His best friend who was a heroin addict for years, and whom I had confided in him about my problem had told him everything. I met up with him....we talked for hours. He was incredibly angry, sad and shocked that not only his perfect girlfriend (or ex gf I guess) was a drug addict, but that I hadnt mentioned a word to him the entire course of our relationship. Anyway, the wonderful person he was, he put all his feelings aside, told me he still loved and cared for me and wanted to be a part of every single step of my recovery. I dont know what to expect at this this point, I dont even know what to think, especially why or howI could have such an amazing person to be a part of my life and this difficult bump in my life; I dont know and i dont care. All I do know is how grateful I am that he didnt just call me and curse me out for lying to him all this time.
I apologize for the mini novel I have written here, but I just wanted everyone here to know what has been going on in my life for the past 2 years. I hope to make new friends and gain some support. I am being admitted to the hospital on 09/25/2011 to begin my detox treatment and am nervous, scared, anxious, but most of all EXCITED. Im excited to be clean again and have control over my own life. Im terrified of the pain and anguish I will feel through the physical part, and nervous of the aftermath of facing the realities of what i have done to my health, friends, family, boyfriend, school and just life in general. Relapsing is just NOT an option. I have lost way too much to ever go down this path again. The only person left to confide in is my best friend. Im terrified of what she will say. I just hope that she supports me through my rehabilitation. I know i dont deserve it, but I guess what I am trying to say that everyone should get 2nd chances. Again, I apologize if i have bored anyone here with the novel I wrote lol, but please if you could shoot a prayer down this way...it would mean the world to me. Also, if anyone here has gone to an inpatient detox for opiates, can you PLEASE share your story with me so I just have an idea of what to expect? I would greatly appreciate that!!!!!! Have a great night to everyone, if youve gotten this far in reading my story, THANK YOU! God bless all of us and know that addiction doesnt look at what race, nationality, age, gender, sex, how rich or poor you are....it could happen to anyone and it has happened to many peope here including me. Its a disease that can not just destroy your life, but completely and utterly demolish it. Lets fight through it...all of us, together!. God bless, goodnight!!!!!
I'll start off my telling you guys about my addiction and why I am here looking for support. About 2 years ago I started my long and life-ruining addiction to Norcos. This addiction began because I am one out of a million girls who has ridiculously painful periods. Im not talking about just cramps. I full on have nausea and heavy vomiting, I take those days off work, an am pretty much in the emergency room at least 3 times a year because of the pain. Not even the norcos control the pain. I began taking only two 5mg vicodins a day on my period and it seemed to ease the pain at that time. After taking it for so long the vics not only stopped helping, but made it worse because they decrease the amount of estrogen your body creates thus, making your periods even more painful. Today I am taking anywhere from 25-30 norcos a day (10mg/325). Basically, I take anyway from 250mg - 300mg of hydrocodone a day. A script of 100 norcos will last me 4 - 5 days at the BEST. I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought that i could be addicted to drugs. See, I work at a hospital and am hoping to become a physician one day and know that drug users/drug seekers are frowned upon. I have been pretty much living a lie for the past 1 1/2 years. The first time I began using, I was on a very low dosage compared to now. I was taking 15mg MAYBE 30mg at the most of hydrocodone/p day. When i ran out of vics one day, I didnt think much of it besides the fact that I wasnt going to be high that night. What I didnt know is that I would go through 3 days of PURE HELL. I began withdrawals that night and thought I was sick. When i hopped onto the internet i realized I was having withdrawals from the vics. I was in shock. My very best friend in the world who absolutely hates drugs and drug abusers helped me through it. Even my boyfriend who spent the night didnt know what I was going through.
A month or so after being clean, I was going crazy because of the little or no sleep that I had gotten in the last month i was starting to go a little crazy on account of I am such a fan of sleep. A friend of mine was prescribed vics for her injury and asked her for 2. It ALLLLL re started from there. I am soooo sorry to make my story so long but I just feel like its part of a step I need to take to recover. My boyfriend (the love of my life), and my best friend had absolutely NO IDEA for the past 2 years that roller coaster I have been through. I am basically working full time to support my drug habit. I used to have an impeccable credit score 2 years ago....I am now on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. I was in school full time but, I havent taken a single class in the past year or so. My boyfriend and I broke up as a result of my drastic behaviors and moods. i couldnt blame him, he didnt know what the hell was even going on.
3 days ago, I decided that I just had had ENOUGH of this bull**** controlling my life. I left my house, went to the park and just thought to myself for hours. I thought about how my life is too incredibly grand to be wasted and crumbled down to nothing because of a drug that I didnt even get high off of anymore. The only reason I have even been taking it so long is to be normal and not have to face the hells of withdrawal. The same night, my boyfriend, or should I say EX-boyfriend, whom I hadnt spoken to for a 1 1/2 months because we had broken up called me to tell me that he knows everything. His best friend who was a heroin addict for years, and whom I had confided in him about my problem had told him everything. I met up with him....we talked for hours. He was incredibly angry, sad and shocked that not only his perfect girlfriend (or ex gf I guess) was a drug addict, but that I hadnt mentioned a word to him the entire course of our relationship. Anyway, the wonderful person he was, he put all his feelings aside, told me he still loved and cared for me and wanted to be a part of every single step of my recovery. I dont know what to expect at this this point, I dont even know what to think, especially why or howI could have such an amazing person to be a part of my life and this difficult bump in my life; I dont know and i dont care. All I do know is how grateful I am that he didnt just call me and curse me out for lying to him all this time.
I apologize for the mini novel I have written here, but I just wanted everyone here to know what has been going on in my life for the past 2 years. I hope to make new friends and gain some support. I am being admitted to the hospital on 09/25/2011 to begin my detox treatment and am nervous, scared, anxious, but most of all EXCITED. Im excited to be clean again and have control over my own life. Im terrified of the pain and anguish I will feel through the physical part, and nervous of the aftermath of facing the realities of what i have done to my health, friends, family, boyfriend, school and just life in general. Relapsing is just NOT an option. I have lost way too much to ever go down this path again. The only person left to confide in is my best friend. Im terrified of what she will say. I just hope that she supports me through my rehabilitation. I know i dont deserve it, but I guess what I am trying to say that everyone should get 2nd chances. Again, I apologize if i have bored anyone here with the novel I wrote lol, but please if you could shoot a prayer down this way...it would mean the world to me. Also, if anyone here has gone to an inpatient detox for opiates, can you PLEASE share your story with me so I just have an idea of what to expect? I would greatly appreciate that!!!!!! Have a great night to everyone, if youve gotten this far in reading my story, THANK YOU! God bless all of us and know that addiction doesnt look at what race, nationality, age, gender, sex, how rich or poor you are....it could happen to anyone and it has happened to many peope here including me. Its a disease that can not just destroy your life, but completely and utterly demolish it. Lets fight through it...all of us, together!. God bless, goodnight!!!!!
HI AND Welcome to our forum sad to here your hadit is so out of control im sure someone will share there experience of inpacent detox with you give it a few days for them to find your post just know what your doing you will look at as on of the greatest accomplishments of your life I know I do at least you woke up in 2yr it took me 16 1/2 but hey if I can kick anyone can Laural is right its all about attitude a positive attitude will get you farther then any one thing this is a battle one or lost in ones own mind also if they offer you methadone dont take it its miserable to come off of also sub is getting pritty common again I would find an alternate way dont substitute one drug for another good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
Thank you for posting. Your story is my story. It's amazing how many people out there share this disease. We can do this, one day at a time. After care is crucial. I relapsed after going through detox in the hospital. It's vital to get support because the reason we abuse drugs is not just to take away pain or get high. We use because we have emotional trauma. Good luck and keep posting!
Hi, welcome here :)
Congrats on addressing your addiction and for the decision you have taken, Norcoaddict.... here is a link of a new forum here where you can find a lot of info about your inpatient questions
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Alcohol-Drug-Rehab/show/1232?camp=msc
and yes, we will be here supporting you ... it seems you are doing the right thing addressing your problems.. Since you will be treated during detox, i won't give you any advices for this apart from telling you that YOUR POSITIVE MIND will be your best friend now, we need working on our minds because the mental battle is tough and this is a long race.... the insomnia, the lack of motivation or energy might take some time to get it normal but it does.... what it is important also is that you address what took you here, like your painful periods, get checked and maybe the gyno can give you some solution, ok ? :)
you sound very smart so remember that addiction is an illness not a weak ness of character, fight this illness and have no shame :)
Congrats on addressing your addiction and for the decision you have taken, Norcoaddict.... here is a link of a new forum here where you can find a lot of info about your inpatient questions
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Alcohol-Drug-Rehab/show/1232?camp=msc
and yes, we will be here supporting you ... it seems you are doing the right thing addressing your problems.. Since you will be treated during detox, i won't give you any advices for this apart from telling you that YOUR POSITIVE MIND will be your best friend now, we need working on our minds because the mental battle is tough and this is a long race.... the insomnia, the lack of motivation or energy might take some time to get it normal but it does.... what it is important also is that you address what took you here, like your painful periods, get checked and maybe the gyno can give you some solution, ok ? :)
you sound very smart so remember that addiction is an illness not a weak ness of character, fight this illness and have no shame :)
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