Detoxing, dealing with setbacks...........help!!!!

[OxyDout]

Hey guys, I had a minor set back over the holidays, I took 40mg of oxycontin last night, the good news is, I felt awful(mentally), I was so upset at myself.  I was with my girlfriend and I was so mad that I I felt like I needed to get fu... up to be there.  I completely regret it, It was just another sign that I know I'm done with these things.  It was weird, it was like I was an addict all over again, like I had to depend on going to get some before I saw her, WHAT AN AWFUL FEELING, I can't tell you guys how incredible it is to be able to do what you want whenever you want  Anyway, I have restless leg today and I have to work, but I can make it through, I know I can, my question is, how long do you think I will feel this restless leg?? I don't know if I have any other wd symptoms cause I have bronchitis and an ear infection so I'm very out of it. Well, I have to get going, but this was just a minor setback, I don't want anyone to think that I"m going back to using because I"m not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope all is well, keep your head up!!

gwh

[butterbeans]

GWH, we all will have setbacks, I don't think there is anyone who does it the first go around, without a small or large setback.  Just go forth from now.  I still take my pain meds, I feel I have to, but, am trying to take them just for my severe pain.  Hang in there!  I believe in you!  don't be too hard on yourself.  Remember what Ihave said before in this forum.  "We are all human beings, maybe some of the best", because most of us it appears tome are always trying to help someone and rarely think of ourselves.  I don't see us as selfish, just weak when it comes to a drug that makes us feel better. My thoughts are with you and I pray for your recovery.
Love Butterbeans

[ep1]

I also took half a pill extra yesterday and today.Funny thing is (and good thing) I really didn't NEED to,I just felt like I ought to........but I havent been as moody for the last 3 days ,like the worst of the cramping,anxiety and stuff is done,the L-tyrosine & B6 seem to really help.I still have anxiety though....it isn't pleasant,kind of like a feeling of being very unsettled.Have a good night and take care.

[Telby]

I am so proud of you both, these are minor setbacks.  Remember recovery is a process not an event, look how far you both have come.  My hero's.  Don't feel like you can't share your bad days, your not letting anyone down, impossible to do no matter what.  I ran out of L-Tyrosine a few days ago and boy I am really feeling the difference, began feeling hopeless and scared again, then I realized that I have been without my supplements long enough that it is effecting me.  GWH, try some extra calcium for your leg.  I have a mixture of magnesium, Zinc, and Calcium which I think is very helpful.  The metals can be dangerous if taken too much of so maybe just get calcium - Tums are a great way to get both calcium and calm your tummy.  I took Tums by the handful when I was pregnent which my Doctor said I should.  Anyway, your both right on track and I am trying to make it up on your path so lead the way.  love, Telby

[Elvira]

Sorry to steal the thread but i can't seem to post a question  I have been lurking here for awhile and this is my first post,  one out of slight confusion...I thought a doc was suppossed to be answering questions?  I have seen a doc a few times but not nearly as often as I thought....Is this the ask the Dr. forum?  thanks                 Elvira

[Seamstress]

Elvira is right. This is a medical forum but I never ask a medical question because it takes week for the doctor to answer it. And then he usually doesn't say much except to tell you to talk to your personal physician.  My doctor isn't an expert on drug addiction. He isn't even an expert on drugs. I've told him things about meds he's prescribed he didn't even know.  That's why I was asking here. Because I thought someone who was an expert in that field would answer. So I'm confused too. Is this supposed to make us buy the book they mention?

[Telby]

This is just as it appears.  Suffering people coming together to give and get support.  The true experts on addiction are those who are addicts so this is where we come to find help.  The Doctor will post occasionally however he will always advise seeking a medical or mental health or addictions specialist.  The truth is that the real specialists are here.  There is no agenda to buy anything or do anything, it is simply a forum to support addicts.  Being an active addict is a lonley and painful existance, there is a huge stigma attached to this disorder and people find it hard to find a place to be completly honest.  This is one such place, there are other such places.  It is the real deal, no scam and no sales pitch, just huring people reaching out.  True survivors and true "experts".   Hope this helps.  IF you are looking for speicifi information about a drug or drug addiction, try google.com and specify your interest - you will be directed to many interesting sites.  good luck, Telby

[bigggO]

Does anyone know of any doctors in the NY, NJ area that dispenses Buprenex

[Elvira]

I'm sorry,   I didn't remember if you were Telby or Telly,  either way I was just curious as it was referred to as Ask the Dr.   Maybe a little Misleading as I thought the Dr. answered every question. so i guess I won't be asking any medical questions.  What happens if a person is really in need of having a question asked, won't for various reasons ask his/her own doc and can't get any information from this Dr. Steve is it?  I guess that's when all of you guys step in?  well,  thanks for your kind welcome.                               Elvira

[kerrysfine]

I have been off Lortab since Nov.19th 2001.
My husband is having major dental surgery this saturday. I am so scared ans anxious knowing I will havw narcotics in the house. Anyone have any suggestions?

[ep1]

Hi,just a quick hello  to say I am still on my 2 40's a day and plan to go to one and a half next week and to 1 a day the week of the first.I wanted to stop by the 1st ,but felt like I was not being realistic and i don't want to set myself up to fail,so I broke down and ordered another 20 pills to do the final weening.I hope I have the "cajones" to make it the last time I order any.I can only repeat that the L-tyrosine and B6 along with GNC Mega-Men vitamins really really helps.My doctor (who doesn't know about the oxy) gave me Buspirone 5 mg tabs for anxiety......does anyone know anything about them,I'm kinda scared to take them without hearing something about them first? He said theyre a low dose and take a few days to work.One thing I have noticed is that I really don'thave the physical need for oxy like before.Now I kinda take it because I think I should (guess thats why it's called a Habit) but this is a good thing......I think? This is a tough time coming up (new year),so thanks for listining and being so supportive.

[alchemist]

Epi, I noticed that you said that you were going from 2 40mg oxy's to 1 and 1/2.  I hope that means you are not planning to cut the oxy's in half.  They are time released and cutting them in half may put the entire dose in your system at once instead of 12 hrs.

[Telby]

I am always surprised how many medical people, mental heath professionals, addiction professionals and all around really smart folks post on these boards.  There is seldom a problem someone doesn't show the way to the answere.  I guess it's too much to ask for a Doctor to give free medical advise, other then "go to your doctor".  Anyway, stick around its great. Telby

[OxyDout]

Well, the fact that your anxious shows that your in trouble.  I know exactly how your feeling, your already thinking that this one time won't get you started again, and if your anything like I was, your getting irritated just thinking that someone else might get to them before you do.  In anycase, don't do it, if he has a whole prescription then you will end up taking most of the bottle, tell him to hide them.  You can be stronger then that!!!! good luck, feel free to tell me what happens, or how your feeling.

GWH

[OxyDout]

I did things the same way, I think it was telby that asked if you were cutting them in half....... anyway, she is right however, that is how I cut back on the dosage and it seemed to work well, but make sure you are carefull because as she said, cutting them, does put the oxy directly into your system.  Either way, good luck, its been 3 days since my set back and I haven't even thought about oxy's.  Ive turned the corner and I'm coming home!!! i really don't need them anymore.  Work is great, my girlfriend is great, I'm working out all the time and I'm loving life!!! thanks to all of you that help me!!!!

GWH

[skipper]

GWH:
i'm pleased to here your back on the detox track! yesterday i
started a cold detox. i went over 24 hours without any oxy! then
the trouble started. i was so restless last night, i wound up takin 4 mg. of clonipin. i had non stop dreams of using. one of the dreams featured a midget version of Mr. Clean (flexxing his muscles and laughing. he kept pointing to his chest where there was purdues's tradmark for ocycontin) i awoke drenched in sweat. i still feel the presence of this evil aberation. Everything was going fine until i tried to shave. about half thru this task something in my neck popped and jolt of electicity/pain went dow to my finger tips and back up to my neck, where the trouble actually resides. the pain just kept coming in waves.i cracked.i was a weak .... i stumbled in the room where i keep my oxy and took some without water. 1 of the 2 tablets is stuck in my throat-real fun. i'm so discouraged. i am in intractable pain and i've pretty much worked thru all the moral issues of of taking narcotics as perscribed. the problem is my wife. she is very supportive, i couldn't ask for a beter person to be married to. even though she realizes my need for pain control, i know she hates what it does to me (besides easing my pain). i don't know what my plan was. i think i wanted to put togater at least a week junk free. i'm ok. i guess i'll just have to start over again. i
wouldn't beat myself up about this except for my wife... she de-
serves far beter than this junky, pill head has to bring to our
marriage.
anyways... GWH hang in there, you have my vote of confidence.
you've had a set back, but that is all it is a set back. the rest
of you people detoxxing, hang in there.. it can be done. winter
will not last forever, it just looks like that to me today...

i hope all of you a safe and happy new year. remember it is a
whole lot easier to AVOID temptation than it is to resist it.
also remember, i'm goin to love and care about you people and
there isn't a damm thing any of you can do about it.

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[OxyDout]

hey there, sounds like you are very down today, I don't want to see you, rather hear you like that, you are a huge inspiration to my life, you are one of the main reasons why I haven't taken anything.  Your in a tough spot because you know you need to take something for your pain.... I"m sure you will be ok, I have faith in you.  

As far as your wife goes, I think your thinking in the opposite direction.  The way I see it....If your taking all these meds, and your wife is still there and loves you, that means you are an AMAZING person and she sees SO much in you that she wants to be with you even when your on the oxy's.  Well, trust me when i say, you will be even more of that person when you stop abusing.  I can't tell you how incredible it was to spend all night with my girlfriend last night without being on any meds, without the restlesss leg, with out the sweats, or without the pain.  It was INCREDIBLE!!!!!! to be able to spend the night in the arms of the girl I love, to be able to comfort her.  I bring this up because I remember you saying before, that, that is all you wanted to do, was to be able to spend time with your wife, without anything getting in the way.  

I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, you have to, and I KNOW YOU WILL.  I have so much faith in you, just be patient and give it time.  You know how long I had tried to quit before I got this far???.....probably for about a year.  Now I'm finally doing it!!!!!!!! I can't believe it.  Anyway, I have to get going, but keep up the hard work, I will be praying for you, take care, write back soon.

GWH

[Witchywoman]

Hey there Kip,
I was wondering how you've been these days!
I'm sorry to hear your pain is still so intense. I guess I don't understand why you feel a need to go off the pain meds every once in a while...why put yourself through that when you know you need it for intractable pain?

Well...I guess I do sorta understand, given that I have pain too, and went off my narcotics too soon after my surgery. But, my pain is probably tons less than yours, and..well hell, I just hate to see you suffer. I care about you a lot. You are one of my inspirations and role models, and will forever have a special place in my heart.

love,
WW

[Francoise]

Skipper, I think you've got the same problem with oxycontin that I do: we've been ENCULTURATED to reject the use of opiates even for intractable pain. It's part of the war on drugs, and you and I are some of its victims.

I've had a terrible problem with myself about being on oxycontin. I suppose the worst part if that terrible game of "what if" I've been playing with myself. What if I lose my meds? What if they're stolen? What if my doctor suddenly decides he's not going to prescribe them anymore. What if I turn 65 and the gummint won't pay for this prescription? Notice that all these what ifs have to do with running out of meds, as that surely means death by my own hands.

It sounds, though, as if you're more in the mode of considering yourself a "druggie." But you know, Skipper, I have a friend who has advanced diabetes, and if he doesn't take his meds every day he will die. My father is a heart patient, and if he doesn't take his meds every day, he will die. And this same story is true for millions of people; they have to take their meds every day or they will die. Now, because their meds aren't necessairly opiates, no one thinks of calling them "drug seekers" and they don't consider themselves morally repugnant. So why should we?

We have medical conditions just a real as any diabetes, any heart disease, any kidney condition, any anything. And there is a family of drugs for it. And it's legal and it works. So why should we beat ourselves up? Thomas, bless his little ol' pea pickin' heart, had a conversation with me like this (along with many other of my friends here) about this issue. And they've convinced me that there really is a big difference between having the disease of addiction and being physically dependant on a medication that gives us a life.

I've stopped fighting myself about this issue, although I do admit keeping an eye peeled for ways to get off this drug as painlessly as possible (I think that the rapid detox while under anesthesia is the best I've heard of). I have a medical condition, damnit, that requires I take a maintenance dose of oxycontin twice a day. I take my meds and get on with my life. I'm lucky to even be alive (fell 25 feet from a tree and broke damn near every bone on the right side of my body plus crushing a vertebra and ripping my pelvis away from my spine).

There is no reason to live in chronic pain. If you'd like to discuss this in private email me direct at ***@****, or meet at http://pub37.ezboard.com/bthenewaddictionmedicineforum. Not only is there no reason to live in pain, there's no reason to put ourselves through the agony of getting off opiates. Screw it. I've got a life to live and I need to get on with it. Let's get together and talk.

Francois

[butterbeans]

Kip, I too have had these overwhelming feelings of guilt for taking the meds, especially when I take too many.  I too go off of them and detox quite often.  But, I am going to stop.  I have talked to myself and my doctor and I know that my pain is severe chronic pain, pain that I have suffered with for over 20 years.  Until 6 years ago, I was miserable a lot and drank wine to try and deal with the pain,  I hate drinking and hangovers, but, unless you are a chronic pain person, you don't and can't understand why people like me will do anything to get some pain relief.  The doctors have been great, and they make me feel better when I feel I am addicted to this medication.  But, I live a productive life now ,thanks to these meds. I will make the resolution/fact to not take too many meds at once,  I know I will make a mistake sometimes, but, I also know now that the right thing for me is to continue taking medication that helps me deal with pain that in the past kept me from being able to get up and go to work sometimes, to do things with my ex and my children.  When I read your posts, I can tell that you feel guilty about the meds, but, if yu need them, take them  It sounds like you have a wonderful woman in your life who understands how badly you need them.  Chronic pain, like diseases such as cancer and heart disease, can happen to anyone at anytime.  I never thought it would happen to me, but, I want to spend the rest of my life as active, happy, and able to work and do things. I told my doc the other day I was getting scared that I might have to go on disability if I go off the meds.  He is ordering another MRI to see if and why my pain is getting worse.  I rarely have a day that I am not in chronic pain now.  I can barely walk or stand.  Lying down brings a little relief.  I still have pain even with meds, but, I told doc not to up my dosage and not to give me anything stronger.  But, I feel better now that I have accepted that I need these meds and I will work to try and take them only as perscribed.  Skipper, yu can do that too.  Hang in there, be good to yourself, it is not your fault that your body has chronic pain, but, you can help yourself.  I thank you for your posts, they have helped me so much.  I feel much happier now that I have decided to use my meds and life is great !!!  
Love Butterbeans

[Telby]

Sweetie, check down in lower post for the address to the new board.  I hope you can get on.  Check back here later tonight as Wizard has given me permission to post his EMail for you.  He really wants to hear from you so I'll make sure you get it.  I have to find it first but I will get to you this evening.  Your in my prayers - you are so brave to live such a caring life while in so much pain.  I love ya, Telby

[skipper]

hey people:
thanks to GWH, Witchy Woman, Francoise, and Butterbeans. the sup-
port you all have given me will certainly keep me coming back.
thankyou.. i think i'll be alright for now.

i can't really explain my need to detox myself on a regular basis.
i do know at present i really need to be on oxy... you know i think
back to my junk shooting days and i should be happy with all this
poison (large Rx to oxy-c), but i'm not. i'm just afraid of some-
thing i can't seem to put my finger on. addiction can be such a
strange affliction!

need everyone of yous
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Telby]

I was thinking about Skipper and how even though he needs the meds, and deserves the meds, he still struggles with the effect they have on his life.  The difference maybe between narcotics and heart medicine, or insuline is that they don't effect every area of ones life.  In the old days we believed somewhat anyway that drugs brought people closer together, closer to inlightenment and spirituality. Found out the hard way that is not true, they often block us from those things and more. Become an obsticle in clearly seeing ourselves and our place in the world - in the ability to have true intimacy with others.  So I take my hat off to Skipper, he is continuing to challange the role drugs play in his life.  I think it is a brave and couragous battle and he is the top dog.  love ya Kip, Telby

[kerrysfine]

well I did just what you said. I had him hide them. I think he just keeps them n his jacket pocket. But anyway, I'm still here.
Thanks for the help. I found that helping him out in his time of need made me feel really good. Screw the pills.
Kerry

[jule1]

I hate to see you hurting so bad and being so hard on yourself.  You are so lucky to have a wife like you do.  I have a wonderful husband who would do anything in the world for me and I am grateful to have him every day.  I was just reading from Bijou and she wants to detox shes al by herself and scared to death.  I know your situations are different but I feel for her and you.  I havent posted here a lot but always read your posts and care about you and theres not a damn thing you can do about it either!!  Love, Jules

[GingerLee]

Hello jbear, I want to wish you a happy new year. You have helped me alot. For some reason people don't really respond to me too much, but you have and I appreciate it.I have always felt kind of on the edge of things and your kind words have given me strength. I sincerely wish good things,peaceful moments and clear thoughts for you. I wonder if you could tell Wizard hello for me too? Thanks Audrey

[Elvira]

I was wondering if you could contact me via email  my addy is ***@****   I have found a wonderful site I think you might like.  I saw that you feel no one here responds much to you  an I feel really bad. I 'll give you the link to the site if you email me     Elvira

[GingerLee]

Bless you

[jule1]

Hi Girl, I wrote to you up at the top so hope you read it!!!

[skipper]

Telby:
was just rereading old posts and the one you sent to Seamtress and
Elvira (dec. 27) was one of the most outstanding description of what lies in the guts (and other visceral matter of every other addict) I have always felt on the outside looking in. (sort of like the song by the Hollys. this was before drugs, on drugs, recovery from drug, and back to using drugs.

anyhow keep up the good work , an insight on a day like this goes a
long,long way.
keep an angel on your sholder
kip

[Telby]

Amazing how I get what I need.  I was just thinking that I post too much.  I'm not fishing for a compliment but I wonder if I'm not on the boards too much.  I wonder if I sound like "little ms knowitall"   I just really love the process of give and take and after not communicating with anyone for so long it feels really good to have something to say and to feel what others are saying. I guess I'm still pretty insecure because I worry alot that I have said something badly or that I put myself in everybody's face too much.  Anyway, that was where my head was at and then I see this really sweet post from Skipper (truely my idol) and I again felt that great conection.  So I POSTED AGAIN! Skipper, thank you for always knowing just the right thing to say. love, Telby

[skipper]

hey people:
day-5 oxy-free!        painlevel +7
slept some last night without taking anything. My wife had gotten
some kavva kavva and valerin root to try out last night. fell a-
sleep before taking any! the bard part is i awoke at 2;30 am. have
been up and banging around the house waiting for daylight so i can
walk dog. i'm sure glad wife is out of town as she can't sleep when
i can't. anyhow i tried the valerian and kava kava. not much has
happened. so...drank 3 cups real strong coffee. why not i go see my regular md today...between day 5 stuff and all that coffee i should have my bp up enough to keep him entertained-any how this detox stuff isn't his business at this point. HEY WITCHY WOMAN when does sleep return to normal? i seem to remember you having this problem last summer.
can't (or shouldn't) take HTP5 as i take wellbutron. the first 3
nights i've been goofballing myself asleep with klonipam. kloniam
is supposed to be the safest of the benzo's...i'm not so sure of
that...the sooner a person shakes off the benzo's the beter.

know what? i don't think i've wished everyone a year of painless
growth, or at least growth and movement...clean or on the nod...
eyes bright or cancelled out like some old street peddler selling
brooms, talking honest or talking faster than an md...
best of the year and
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[skipper]

Hey!:
forgot to tell ya, i shaved for the first time since my last dose
of oxy. even without the beard i think i could send a shiver up
the spine of some god-fearing,pig's ass kisser of a paramacist out
there this morning...anybody up for fun at the poision shop today!

need all of you so
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Captain Codone]

Hello everyone, this is my first time on this site, and I am glad there are places like this for people to go, and be with people that don't judge them. My first comment is to Kerryfine. there is always temptation, it is how you deal with it that makes or breaks the situation. It sounds like your making it; good luck, and best wishes. My next comment is for the skipper. Man do I feel your pain. The lack of not being able to sleep is what kills me. I have the RLS or (Restless Legs Syndrom (syndrome)), and boy is it fun. When I try to go to bed, my legs start to do the cha-cha, and the Waltz, all by themselves. I never noticed my legs so much, until I started this de-tox. I am on my forth day; cold turkey, which is the only way I can do it. I cant taper down; its all or nothing. Usually all!!! To your answer about the sleeping, it is different for each individual person, based on how much you were taking, body fat, etc.... But know one thing, it doesnt last forever, and that is all that matters. It does go away and the sun does shine again. I wish all who read this a blessed new year; drug free I hope.

[littleguy]

I wanted to tell you, that there are several things that you wrote recently that I have printed out and hung on my bulletin board, so that I could read and re-read them every time I want to use.  Your words have helped me gather the courage to do the right thing.  

littleguy

[Telby]

I can't seem to get on the other board so I was just re-reading through the posts and there to my surprise was your sweet message.  I can't tell you what a delight it was to see it, definatly the nicest thing that anyone has said to me today. I have been feeling very discouraged and hopeless as I blew another detox attempt and now Im back to square one or minus one really.  This oxycontin problem has truely gotten the best of me as no other problem has, I am usually optimistic regardless of what crisis befalls me but this thing has gotten the best of me.  So thank you for your kind words, and remember knowing what to do and doing it are sometimes many miles apart.  They say we get what we need and tonight, I needed you and poof there you were.  Thank you, love, Telby

[hjp]

come on telby, you're my hero.  I've read everything you've written on this site. You're a smart girl, and a logical thinker, so figure out a detox method that'll work for you.  Make it complicated if you have to, just follow it.   Question is when you're sober where are you?  Lots of pain?  Bad marriage? Bad job...What is it?  Stay tough....we're all praying for you.      hjp

[Telby]

Alright flattery will get you anything with me.  I will first finally go to bed and shoot for a good night sleep and then I will pick myself up and try this again. Just think how impossible I'll be if I ever do succeed?  I'll really be telling everyone what they should do. Really, thank you for the attention it is just what i needed tonight.  It ain't over til its over and there seems to be no easy or soft way to get there. love, Telby

[hjp]

telby, where are you"?  waiting to hear.......hjp

[Telby]

First day of detox, woke up and got hit with sickness big time. I amd determined to do it this time, I have no benzo's or other meds so it's the real deal.  Got one whole day behind me - my second day is always very hard so send me good thoughts the next 24 hours. I'm not letting myself be afraid, I am fearless.  love telby

[hjp]

You are invincible! Keep goin Telby,, send me some of your pain. your friend, hjp

[Telby]

Today was awful, my second and third days are always the worst. I had dry heaves all day which I have not had before.  The withdrawals get worse every time which is what I need to remember. I am still hanging in there, taking my vitamins and keeping my mind from wandering into dangerous territory. I am very sick but very determined to see his through and get my life back.  Your the best hjp and I thank you for your help, love, telby

[hjp]

still watchin telby, gut it out. your friend hjp

[VicoDee]

Well being retoxed for the 500th time I know I dont have much to offer for staying detoxed,but as far as detoxing and its insidiuos symptoms of withdrawl I will give the info that helped me through the worst of it.Day 10 is the magic number to really be clean BTW...10 days no more no less as far as acute symptoms of HELL and satan beating on your door to come in for a visit..
I posted on another thread of what does help me and if I stick to it it works....but its the pain of life that gets me retoxed.. I guess that is why everyone here turns back to their old friend of "the dope"Life most times is kinda shitty at times and its the pain of it that is hard to avoid clean when you know a pill will put you on an "I dont give a damn" level.
For energy and care of the ailing body?...aside from bathing and eating( geez those are hard ones for some reason when you are using) its like your body needs nothing and you feel nothing while actively using drugs hence the use of drugs to escape pain of life and life is painful and is full of major probs that will awlays tempt the addict
But antihistamines help me a lot in detox the first week for energy
Chlortimetron time relaeased OTC works for energy daytime and kills of the histamine dump that opiate withdrawl sets in ( runny nose and feeling basically sick like flu symptoms?
and then benedryl for sleep ( benzos work beautifullly but they are dangerous to kick without taper so use with caution if you have em and DONT do benedryl and benzos..you might not wake up.they potentiate each other a bit too well.
And Immodium AD helps with the cravings as it is an opiate agonsist9 antagonist i get em mixed up but acts on the dopamine receptor like opiates and has a little boost for the brain),,and works pretty decently on the wds and vomitus diarreahitis...really man it helps a bunch.The chewable or the liquid all work the same and all OTC...good thing there.
And actually my accupuncturist helped speed up my body getting rid of all the poisons in my liver from tylenol..blech..but its pricey and at 30 detoxed attempts ..hell I cant use her everytime so I am trying hypnotherapy today from an expert in heroin addiction and resetting your brain and cravings etc...its the smoking man that will kill me...if I take a pill I immediately need a pack of ciggs...more dopamine brain says..more more more! Nictotine potentiates the dope quite well unfortunately so they go hand in hand for me/if I kick dope I kick ciggs but never one or the other alone..Its Just never enough to satisfy an opiated brain recpetor that has been tampered with ya know?
Ill let everyone know how the hypno attempt goes...did NA..that was f.up and there was not one person I would even consider for a sponser in that crazy bunch...plus being a woman they really work that 13th step a lot in there...they try to cruise ya and hit on you..if you have any attractiveness left and are a new addict/you just get cruised ?...so the support i was offered had ill intent to it ... so that NA stuff no workie for me really and honestly.
There was something to it though as far as when you go? you realize your life is not THAT bad...man I have seen some people take their life to a pretty shitty level so I do leave there feeling like ,Damn! life can always be WORSE! So if just for that I may keep going back...but its not the total answer for me.
Stay tuned...and BTW?.. a GREAT BOOK...and a good read for any addict to any dope of any kind..."Quitting drugs for Good" its very inspirational and had some good info in it for me? Just wanted to share..maybe it will do the trick for someone..hell maybe even me?
Ill keep reading coming back and let you know on this hypno deal?
take care...Dee*

[Telby]

Is the antihistimine you mentioned sold over the counter?  It never occured to me to try something that is designed to actually help with the watery eyes and nose stuff, too simple for me to figure out.  Anyway, what's the scoop on which ones work and which don't.  I really like your posts so stick around, love, Telby

[VicoDee]

Yeah its called chlortrimetron...there is a 4 hr/a 6 hr/8 hr and 12 hr...time released...it helps you stay running on a hell day..but still waithdrawl just knocks you down HARD.
I wanted to add something to this thread and a few other threads.Just when I thought I would be stuck on hydrocodone for life? My post deppresion is what held me back the most,and I do have some depressing stuff going on,but I asked myself? So other people deal with this and they dont lay down and die over it even though you want to when you have someone dying on ya).So I go to my psyche two weeks ago( psyches only prescribe drugs and work with brain chems) They dont do talk therapy about what a shitty childhood you had which if you are a drug usuer it is likely there is something to that,but when you use drugs you alter your brain chems drastically and deplete your feel good hormones.So I've been on serzone (SSRI)for 2 weeks and I feel like I can finally kick this monster of hydrocodone without all the mental drama I was experiencing post and during withdrawls.So yesterday I hear my sisters first boyfriend dies of unknown causes? They think the hospital screwed up.The truth of it is this: He was a body builder and all looked A-ok from the exterior.Lo and behold..the guy and his wife are strung on Oxycontin...Ah good ole OXY...better than hydro but the wife has a felony conviction for faking scripts,and I think they both turned to internet docs for hydro for the last two years.So he finally wants off drugs and wants to get clean,wants to fix some old broken body parts/goes to outpatient to get his bursitus in his shoulder tweaked,and his wife who is still current addict and using tells docs NO PAIN MEDS,he is a recovering addict,so of course he wakes up in severe pain after procedure because after you abuse opiates your pain receptors are NOW set on HIGH...like anything as little as stubbing your toe is a BIG ouchee! Pain tolerance is low guys.So when he wakes up in pain this dingy bzatch gives him 5 or so valium to sleep..He OD's they run him to the ER while he is passed out pumping his stomach the whole way there..since the wifey  is stoned outta her mind on Oxy still and has felony she wont say **** to paramedics as to what he is taking,much less that SHE gave it to him ya know,so they dont know what he took ...turns out they pump him and give him gastric lavage treatments to clean him out..you know? like  enemas and that sort of thing so he can survive the OD situation....well when you abuse opiates long enough many times you have an intestinal block because they constipate ya,the colon shuts down after time and many times can and will become an ER situation...so he had a hidden intestinal block and all of this rapid cleansing literally dumped so many toxins in his body he died,in spite of them trying to remove his colon surgically once they discovered that was the problem...he was 32.And he is dead.
32 man....no one is invincible to the hidden dangers of these drugs we take so freely.
I think that is what is finally hitting me...that you can and will die if you use hydro long enough...will you OD? not usually because we spend our days and BEST efforts titrating our buzzes so perfectly and have opiate tolerances like  horses..so doubtful you'll OD/unless you use street Heroin and then **** you never know what dose is in the next bag so good luck every shoot its a maybe this time baby?...but the old intestine thing...forgot about that problem.
My mother tells me there is a woman who has been in intractable pain and has been for years.Medical Morphine addict...long before Morphine she did Oxy and hyrdro/had verifiable scripts for it...her colon shut down @ 50 yrs old..she is now an older  woman of her years in a Nursing home and has had a colostomy bag for 15 years to deal with because of drug damage to her intestines.
This is something that does make me feel not so invincible anymore.I walk by my stash and I dont want to take another pill as long I live...my bones hurt my life is shot my house is a wreck..my career and marriage will soon be shot if I keep using..it is true..death institutions or jail...thats the end of the road unless you get sober...
Im just even hoping that I can fix all the damage that has been done in my 5 years of using.My body is tired my life is tired and my soul is tired...it is no longer a one way ticket...its gonna be one day at a time man...I'm kicking this **** once and for all.OVER IT!
I think I realize now how selfish it is to take drugs..everyday a part of you dies and your family loses you to drugs....its a slow suicide and not cool to the ones left to bury you over it.
everytime I look at that dope Im gonna think about that kid...and what happens when you use...where it leads,,,its nowheresville...just leads no where but down.
Get help get off and get clean...not worth it..its just not worth it...Life on a colostomy bag...not fun..not worth the high ever.Its my first day ,not using dope first thing outta bed and hitting the floor with a stone cold buzz on hydro to make it through another walking dead day..and I feel a new awakening to what I am really doing by using...killing myself.It will kill you.but we all feel so invincible by drugs as they take away every ache pain etc etc... When you dump it?... your body will tell you what is wrong...it hurts and it hurts for a reason ...the body hates drug abuse?
It is dying you just dont feel it on drugs and the denial is HUGE.
Addicted part just takes you down and you are along for the ride like the walking dead on drugs..what a bizzarre phenomena...dying and cant even tell?
Poppies are evil ****.
dee*

[cs47]

My husband is addicted to Oyy.  He has lost everything we have, including our house, and owes money that he borrowed to my kids.  He is a wonderful guy, and I love him, or else I would be gone, and also because he said if I left he would kill himself.  He has been on suboxone, but seems to keep going back to Oxy, even while he has suboxone.  His suboxone doctor released him because he missed appointments????  I don't even knon when he tells me the truth anymore, I don't trust him.  He had cancer twice, at the age of 23 and again at 26.  He had been off drugs since then, but 2 years ago, I got cancer, and he started taking my pain meds.  I didn't know he was because I didn't take them at all, they made me sicker.  I feel that it is my fault he got addicted because I should have been paying more attention to what was going on, but I never thought about the pain meds.  I was worried my cancer would bring back bad memories for him, but he seemed fine, and was very helpful to me.  My question is how do I help him?  We have not been married very long (second for both of us.} but I can't walk away.  My kids are grown, and don't live at home anymore, and we are both in our forties.  Our lives could be easy, and carefree, well sort of, I just found out I am sick, but I am not telling him.  I found another doctor for him to go to, but how do I keep him from going back to Oxy?  Should we both take a week off from work and get him to go cold turkey?  I need help from someone who has been there.      
Thanks, and God Bless All of You,
CS

[novics]

You are responding to a seven year old post (2001!) You need to post somewhere else.