Diane

[DianeH]

I have read some interesting stories that has really hit home for me and has helped me in many ways.  I am a newly married wife, (1year in Jan 08) who husband is on crack plus weed and alcohol.  I have known him since 98 but did not know of the drug abuse.  I knew he had a problem with stealing but never knew why he did it.  We hooked up again in 2004, by 2007 we were married.
Things were fine I thought. He was still looking for work, his felonies were of course enabeling him.
He kept trying anyway.  He looks for a day and do not look again for about 1 week until I say something to him, everybody knows looking for a job is a job.  I make a good living so money is ok. I do not keep money around the house any more because I know he will find it and take it. I give him $20 a week which is the same thing I give myself to just have money in our pockets to do what ever, he smokes blacks (Cigars) so i know he wants to buy some and what ever else little stuff.  If he spends it on crack that his business for he will not get any more till the next week.  I know he's getting it, how I do not know, but you can always have a friend who will get it for you so who knows.  He has told me he has a problem when he does get and share with others they are fine until he is out then he has to get out.  How do one not learn from this, but he feels he get them high he can come and get high on them, but it never works.  These are somethings he as told me. I have told him before he needs to have positive friends in his life if he is going to get away from this life behavior, he argees but still seem to be drawn to the same type of people. I see that good man in him everybody loves him he is my 98% man, it is that 2% that is giving us trouble.  I try to get him to go to church for GOD can change a person it changed me, I have never been on drugs but I use to run the streets a lot.  I am so glad I am not in that life anymore I am content going to work and being at home.  I looking to open up my on business and am getting a $100,000 grant, I think this will take him over the edge just knowing the money is around.  I have not told him about it yet for I do not know if I should until he is better.  Please give me some suggestions if it is just to say certain things to him.  I feel that rehab is not going to help for he was locked up for 5 years if that did not help what will.  He always feel bad about things after his mess up.  Sometimes I feel if it do not affect my life I do not worry about it  but when it comes around again it does upset me and I realize that it is affecting my life so after 10 months it is time to do something about it.  His family all came from the same fate so this is what he grew up knowing. I know his mom and aunts all sold drugs back in their day, but do not know if they were on drugs. So actually this has been going on since his teen years, he has been to a rehab program before, so do he keep trying or do something else?  I can do the al anon for me, is that for him to?  I also have another question that I have been thinking about and have not read anything on it.  

Can I have drugs in my body through his semen? I have not been feeling well for a couple of months he thinks I am pregnant but I know I am not, I thought maybe the drug was entering my body through sexual intercourse.  Do anybody have any thoughts on this?

[avisg]

Welcome,
Diane, I really feel for you , i relize you really want to help him, but he has to want to get better. Until
then all you can do is take care of yourself .
Where is he going to smoke crack ,does he take off for days at a time ? The drugs are not getting into your system threw his seman ... I highly suggest if you are feeling unwell I would go to the doctor and get a FULL check up ....
good luck I hope things get better.
Avis

[Savas]

You should get tested for Hep C and other diseases. While the drugs can't transfer to you that way, those can. Hep C is a very common addict ailment, and highly contagious through bodily fluids.

Otherwise, he sounds like he's just to in love with getting high. I know many addicts who complain and grieve over how they hate being an addict but still run out and chase for money for drugs every moment they can. Why? because despite all avowals to the opposite, they LOVE it.
    I'm not sure what to tell you. There's absolutely nothing you can do to change an addict like this. They self destruct, taking everyone down with them, or they have a change of heart. But the change of heart usually comes after everything is gone.