Aa
Disgusted with myself
Hi, I have been lurking here for a week or so and see all the love and support. I took my last lortab 14 days ago. I don't deserve any congratulations though, since its just because I ran out. My refill is available tomorrow and I'm so disgusted with myself because I am, to be honest, thrilled. I have several health issues, some serious, and have asked my husband to dole them out to me instead of having them at my fingertips. I'm angry at myself since I've made it thru the physical withdrawals and still feel like I need them for my pain. I also suffer from depression and the euphoric feeling I get from the lortabs is a lot of what keeps me coming back. I beat a horrible tramadol addiction 3-4 years ago, the best thing I ever did and the hardest. Anyway, I know I need some serious refocusing. Thanks for listening.
As someone who used to also do the "run out early" rodeo, I do not miss the stress and anxiety of waiting for that next script. I know the feeling of joy when you pick up the script, but the rest of it is NOT worth it. I had real pain also, but it got away from me. I started using it for other reasons, like you.
All I can say is my pain is SO much better now I am off the narcs for 8 plus months.
Consider kicking the pills to the curb and tell your doctor.
Bryan
All I can say is my pain is SO much better now I am off the narcs for 8 plus months.
Consider kicking the pills to the curb and tell your doctor.
Bryan
I agree with the above...I have been so honest with my DR..He is so proud of me and wants me to keep working on my Recovery..He has done a lot for me to make sure I do...Your DR will be so happy with you..
vickie
vickie
I agree with everything Evolver said above! Well put!
It sounds like you have a gem of a doctor! I agree that it's time to get honest with him. While it's definitely important to address your pain issues, you'd be surprised, you MAY indeed be able to manage it without a narcotic. That's something you have to talk to your doctor about. If you determine that you will always need SOME kind of narcotic analgesic, then you're going to have to put some strict guidelines in place, starting with your hubby holding them and giving them to you appropriately.
There are always options....it's great that you recognize that you have a problem and need to do something about it. When you talk to your doc, don't be afraid to be 100% honest. It sounds like he's the type who will help you through this.
I wish you the best, keep us updated!
It sounds like you have a gem of a doctor! I agree that it's time to get honest with him. While it's definitely important to address your pain issues, you'd be surprised, you MAY indeed be able to manage it without a narcotic. That's something you have to talk to your doctor about. If you determine that you will always need SOME kind of narcotic analgesic, then you're going to have to put some strict guidelines in place, starting with your hubby holding them and giving them to you appropriately.
There are always options....it's great that you recognize that you have a problem and need to do something about it. When you talk to your doc, don't be afraid to be 100% honest. It sounds like he's the type who will help you through this.
I wish you the best, keep us updated!
Wow! Sounds like you're one of the lucky ones in terms of Drs. I would definitely open up to this gentleman. He obviously is already sympathetic. It's always a relief to come clean and it would show that you're serious about this and start you on you're way to becoming 'Content_Nana'. How would you feel about getting some other kind of support like meetings?
Thank you all for being so supportive. I have seriously been considering talking to my dr about some sort of plan minus narcotics, and he has been my dr for the last 8 years. He's seen me thru a dozen heart attacks , my diabetes onset, my back and neck problems and now the gastroparesis. He knows I run out early (although he doesn't know HOW early or how often). I guess it's time for me to let him know I'm ready to address this in some other way. I have no insurance and I can't tell you how many times he's seen me for free, done lab work, EKGs, and given me meds all for free. I am so fortunate to have a dr who honestly gets it and cares. I think he's just been waiting for me to decide I'm ready. What should I ask him to do for me?
Sounds like you definitely have some addiction issues, despite what might be a real need for the med. It sounds like you were abusing them (as you ran out early), plus, you have had this same kind of problem with the tramadol. You also admit to kind of taking them for the wrong reasons (they help with your mood, secondary to depression). Those are all red flags indicating you're an addict.
There's no point in feeling badly....if this was easy, there wouldn't be a whole forum full of people posting about their addiction issues. Have you ever sought treatment of any kind? Therapy? Attended AA/NA meetings?
The truth is, you already know you have a problem, it's just a matter of what to do now? Giving them to your husband is a step in the right direction, but you have to ask yourself if it's enough? Perhaps you should look into seeking some professional help? I think that would be your best bet, as obviously, you've been going round and round for a while now, and while you're tired, and fed up, you still are having trouble walking away. It's great that you reached out for help and were honest about your situation. That's progress.
Best of luck to you!
There's no point in feeling badly....if this was easy, there wouldn't be a whole forum full of people posting about their addiction issues. Have you ever sought treatment of any kind? Therapy? Attended AA/NA meetings?
The truth is, you already know you have a problem, it's just a matter of what to do now? Giving them to your husband is a step in the right direction, but you have to ask yourself if it's enough? Perhaps you should look into seeking some professional help? I think that would be your best bet, as obviously, you've been going round and round for a while now, and while you're tired, and fed up, you still are having trouble walking away. It's great that you reached out for help and were honest about your situation. That's progress.
Best of luck to you!
That was one of the biggest steps so far..To give them to the Hub..Great Job..I know it is hard when you are in pain..I deal with some issues myself..I try to stay with the natual things..Also streches & exercise helps..And Oh the Sun is out and it feels good on these bones...
God Bless
vickie
God Bless
vickie
Hey, me again,
Please don't hate yourself. You did a really cool thing there, handing them to your husband. I can tell you really want this. You just have to plan ahead. Is there anyway you can talk to your doc., maybe w/ your husband's suport - so your MD. sees your serious and ask for some comfort meds and a taper plan/detox plan?
Please don't hate yourself. You did a really cool thing there, handing them to your husband. I can tell you really want this. You just have to plan ahead. Is there anyway you can talk to your doc., maybe w/ your husband's suport - so your MD. sees your serious and ask for some comfort meds and a taper plan/detox plan?
Thank you all for responding. My dr. And I have tried most everything non narcotic and nothing has worked to date. I'm mad that I picked up my scrip this morning, BUT I did at least turn them over to my husband to dole out to me since I know I cannot trust myself to be responsible with them. Omg why did I do that??
Hi & Welcome,
So glad you came forward and posted! Don't sell yourself short! You have two weeks clean and are over the hump. Don't listen to the urgings. Try to get to an AA/NA speaker's meeting to give you some perspective and determination before you pick up that scrip. If you've already picked it up, you can still go to meetings. Also, this site is an incredible recovery tool -- very powerful. Please, look into the posts and journals of people w/ habits similar to yours w/ a fair amt. of clean time in. It's very inspiring and will solidify your resolve to make the break. Don't be discouraged w/ yourself. Fear & shame are your enemies in this battle. They keep us shackled. What you're going through is completely natural. Please, keep posting. We're here for you!
So glad you came forward and posted! Don't sell yourself short! You have two weeks clean and are over the hump. Don't listen to the urgings. Try to get to an AA/NA speaker's meeting to give you some perspective and determination before you pick up that scrip. If you've already picked it up, you can still go to meetings. Also, this site is an incredible recovery tool -- very powerful. Please, look into the posts and journals of people w/ habits similar to yours w/ a fair amt. of clean time in. It's very inspiring and will solidify your resolve to make the break. Don't be discouraged w/ yourself. Fear & shame are your enemies in this battle. They keep us shackled. What you're going through is completely natural. Please, keep posting. We're here for you!
Hi, you don't want to go through that again. By what you said , it sounds like you want to stop them. Have you talked to your doctor about your addiction and the process of withdrawls you always go through. Is there a different medicine he can give you that is not addictive. Being you are over it now, can you not take them? I would definitely get away from the rollercoaster you put yourself through each month and look for non addictive treatment.
Hey Karen , tramadol withdrawals are the worst. The lortab withdrawals are horrible too, but I guess I'm used to them since I go thru them every month for a few days. I have a disease called gastroparesis, paralyzation of the stomach, so the withdrawal symptoms of lortabs is a lot like that with throwing up a lot and constantly feeling sick. I have to take all my meds crushed and in applesauce to keep them down, and even that doesn't work half the time. On a fluke my dr gave me clonidine patches last visit cuz my bp was extremely high. That probably would have helped this time if my hubby had put the actual patch on instead of the patch covers lol. The pharmacist told him to put them on my back or I would've been doing it myself. Anyway, that's my story.
I'm going through basically what you are...except I never get through withdrawls so easily lol I'm trying to kick a tramadol addiction but I know what you mean by being thrilled even though you don't need them. The mind plays sick tricks. Plus, I'm a good listener, so I'll welcome you to the board. :)Karen
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