Aa
Do you REALLY HONESTLY enjoy life more now , even with the ups and downs than you did the feeling on your doc
I'm withdrawing AGAIN I want to hear from all you success stories why and what is so much better being on the other side?
Best Answer
Above what everyone else on here said which is spot on I have another belief. I am NOT a religious type person in any typical way whatsoever but I do believe that we all have a connection to this world and all the energy in it including whoever or whatever created it. And I believe when we take these drugs we just about sever that connection and shut it down completely. A lot of you on here I am sure know what I am talking about if you think about it. For example, my wife and I seriously have this cosmic undeniable connection that we have had since day one, no way to explain it, we would always be saying the same things at the same time and we were like magnets. Now I'm not saying we were still not close or do not love eachother as much but I'm telling you there is a huge difference on a whole other level when I'm not taking pills. And just look where our lives go. Do we appreciate ANYTHING that was created for us here to enjoy on these drugs? Nope. Not nature, not my animals, not just going for a walk outside on a beautiful day, not music, not food, sex, laughing, crying, not ANYTHING we are supposed to be enjoying. And it is so obvious to see that we are unplugged from this spiritual energy grid when we see other people who are NOT using having fun, prospering and leading normal lives. Every time I fall back into using i get so depressed and jealous of the people around me who are not using. No matter what's going on with them I am jealous because you can tell they are still connected to it all, they are talking about and doing things that I used to LOVE talking about and doing. And now I just cannot make myself care enough to talk about or do anything. And look at the downward spiral most of us take, and I believe ALL of us take if we do it long enough. Look at how the things and people who ARE still plugged in just fall away from us. It's like we do not exsist on this spiritual plain anymore and the rest of the world that does just moves on or we push it away. People, possessions, everything. It's like we are all little magnets and those of us who use, our energy force gets turned off and what does a magnet attract when it's turned off? Nothing. And that's what we are left with. Even material possessions have energy. Think about it, a new car for example is FULL of energy, from the ground they dug the steel out of to all the hands that helped make every part on it. I have not had a new car since I started using heavy 4 years ago. Matter of fact I lost my car. I use to get new ones every 2 years. And that is just one example. I also lost my home, job, motorcycle, possessions, all of it. And I was really working my *** off trying to save it all but nothing worked. And I was on pills the entire time. And I know not taking pills is not going to cure everything and all of our situations are different but hopefully you get my point. We are not supposed to be disconnected from all of this energy and that's what the pills do. That much I am 100% certain of.
I am 23 days clean now and in the last week I have heard the pills calling me - lying to me... Reminding me of the buzz but not the trap - I don't want to put myself into a 4 year coma again...
When I said, do I miss the Vicodin buzz, yes I do and that's about as real as it gets, I meant that I'm being honest. Is a Vic buzz real...no...
I probably should have been clearer with my statement.
Just being honest. The buzz probably wouldn't be good but I'm not taking that chance to find out.
I probably should have been clearer with my statement.
Just being honest. The buzz probably wouldn't be good but I'm not taking that chance to find out.
I really wish I could choose back2me's as the best answer.It is very poignant and truthful.I had so much of a connection to the world when I was not using last time.There is more than one way to get clean,,,nuffsaid
This is the beginning of day 3 for me here on the west coast. I can't express how much i appreciate all your honest thoughts , I can tell they are from deep inside and very thoughtful, I want to be where you all are, in that zone of KNOWING hands down that its better, richer, more meaningful without using. You are a very special group of people, soo glad I found you all!!
I was just talking about this subject this morning. I was deciding wether I was happier without the pill. I'm 46 days clean today and the only symptom I have left is being tired. In that aspect, the pills made me happier because I had energy. But I can honestly say that was the only thing I miss. I no longer have angry outbursts like I did on the pills. My personality is much more even. I don't have to worry about the next lie I'm gonna tell to the doctor. I don't count pills anymore. I don't lie to my family anymore. When I feel happy I know it's real. People at work like me more. I don't cry at the drop of a hat! I feel healthier (even though I'm tired) and best of all, I have more confidence in myself. This situation has shown me how much strength I had when I decided to quit. I continue to show strength every day that I don't take a pill. I know that getting through this has made me a better person. I don't plan on ever going back. I feel like I can accomplish anything I put my mind too because this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Hold on to your strength and don't ever let it go! You can do this!
i'm on day 2,322. i can honestly say, and it's long been true, that recovery has given me not just a better life than what i had when using, but better than anything i ever had before or even thought was possible.
of course, recovery is not just not-using. i had 8+ years of that, and although i quite having the outward social and legal problems, inside i simply grew more restless, irritable, discontent and uncomfortable in my own skin.
i think that what is available, FOR ALL OF US, in recovery is well stated by The Promises in AA's Big Book. early in recovery i thought there was no way that such things cold ever come true . . . at first i thought it was just bull and couldn't be true for anyone . . . later i saw that it did come true for some, but was sure i couldn't possible be one of them . . . now i know that it's just what happens to those who become honest, open and willing to work on their recocery:
THE PROMISES
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."
CATUF
of course, recovery is not just not-using. i had 8+ years of that, and although i quite having the outward social and legal problems, inside i simply grew more restless, irritable, discontent and uncomfortable in my own skin.
i think that what is available, FOR ALL OF US, in recovery is well stated by The Promises in AA's Big Book. early in recovery i thought there was no way that such things cold ever come true . . . at first i thought it was just bull and couldn't be true for anyone . . . later i saw that it did come true for some, but was sure i couldn't possible be one of them . . . now i know that it's just what happens to those who become honest, open and willing to work on their recocery:
THE PROMISES
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."
CATUF
Like new life said I also was clean for 2.5 years and all the "bliss and wonderful" talk aside it was not.....but it is by far and I mean by far the best 2.5 years of my life.No lying ,no worrying about withdrawal,and no worrying "how am I going to pull off getting what I have to get or doing what I have to do today without pills".I also have clinical depression and it is not a drop in the bucket compared to this pill induced depression.You have to quit for more than a couple of weeks to really see the benefit.Just being clean will make you a better person to yourself and society.Your relearning will come automatically if you just get clean and stay clean.I relapsed last year and I wish I had my 2.5 years but I only have 30 days,but I must fight because the only way to live is without these pills or any other mind altering substance.
oh my i am on day 8 and i feel WONDERFUL it was hell getting here and i still willhave some up and down days as i can tell u because i did this before i stayed clean over 2 years and i can tell u honestly it was the BEST 2 years of my life i think i got too comfortable thinking i could take the pills again because of a miscarriage i had they gave them to me. HOWEVER it led right back to it.iuld suggest u call u dr and the pharmacy and cancel ur scripts u will NOT quit as long as u have that refill i tried to and no way also the w/d will get uncomfortable and if u have access u will cave and get them not trying to sound discouraging just real we are addicts. I can agree w everything said. I have a husband and a 10 month old son i used to get mad at my husband when he said ANYTHING even when the floor creaked UGH it drove me crazy i LOVE having my emotions back i want to cudle in bed again w him i miss him while he is at work and look forward to him coming home. My son i just love w all my heart and he deserves for me to be clean and sober plain and simple and i deserve it too and so do u... the life on pills is no way to live we all exp the same thing... what pharmacy, what dr now, sitting in the ER, (nervous) counting pills scheduling appts around if we will have pills so we can even get up and go, etc etc.... it is NO way of life and on the pills i wanted to quit soooooo bad that i had to sit and worry and freak over how the w/d would be so it added A LOT of extra stress... i pray u choose to get sober agian cancelling the scripts will be the best thing u can do it is HARD but shows ur serious and u wont have that temptaion calling ur name all the time. Blessings i hope u choose U it is the ONLY way to live u have to do it eventuallly so why wait
Today is day 30 for me and I did pills for 16 years! I just want to say, I wasn't getting high enough near the end! I didn't care for it anymore. My head was in a fog with that stuff! I have decided to get high on life! Look for the good in it! It's truly amazing, so far! I feel like I just got out of a coma! Things are so amazing! People are amazing! Food is amazing! Got to be careful with that one! I swear, I feel like a kid! I am new again! I have a headache now and it's ok! It will go away! It's so cool to feel again! It's a trip!
LOLOLOL!
"im with Vicki you have good days and bed"
It just struck me funny...because I LOVE bed!! I know you meant "bad" but that was perfect! Just give me a good day and a bed and it's bliss!!
xoxo
Trama: YES! That's it! You're a genius! The predictability is a great thing...
Here? Boring? Not when we all happen to be up all night! Is it a full moon? LOL
"im with Vicki you have good days and bed"
It just struck me funny...because I LOVE bed!! I know you meant "bad" but that was perfect! Just give me a good day and a bed and it's bliss!!
xoxo
Trama: YES! That's it! You're a genius! The predictability is a great thing...
Here? Boring? Not when we all happen to be up all night! Is it a full moon? LOL
Exact ditto of Vicki.......some days I could just spit nails I'm so angry, frustrated, tired, sick, etc.....each day is different, and most of mine are great ones. None of the unpleasant things I listed are anything I medicate for. In fact, I've had good reason to medicate since I quit last year, but I chose not to. Hard choice? I guess, maybe? But it's easier than going back to being a slave to pills and then the FUN withdrawals when I give in and have to quit again! I lived that life for way too many years.
This life is much more predictable day to day......and much more pleasant! And never boring! At least not around here! :)
This life is much more predictable day to day......and much more pleasant! And never boring! At least not around here! :)
FOR me I can feel life again instead of sitting ther watching it go buy threw a window.....methadone may not get you high persay if doses right but it dose leve you in a quite fog where nothing in life really efects you the way its suppose to you mis out on all the things that make life worth living a childs smile a worm embrace from your wife something funny your just numb to it all
im with Vicki you have good days and bed but you get threw themn you no longer run to a pill to block out a bad day you dont earn a high as addictss we need to change the very way we thinkand reason onece you do that you got this thing under control you will always have to keep your guard up but I would rather live with that a feel life then watch it go by threw a window............Gnarly
im with Vicki you have good days and bed but you get threw themn you no longer run to a pill to block out a bad day you dont earn a high as addictss we need to change the very way we thinkand reason onece you do that you got this thing under control you will always have to keep your guard up but I would rather live with that a feel life then watch it go by threw a window............Gnarly
Very interesting question. Do I miss the buzz I would get from the Vicodin, yes. That's about as real as it gets.
Does this mean what I think you're saying?? A Vicodin buzz is as real as it gets??? A Vicodin buzz (or any other kind of buzz) is as fake as it gets!
Once our thinking changes,everything changes!!
Does this mean what I think you're saying?? A Vicodin buzz is as real as it gets??? A Vicodin buzz (or any other kind of buzz) is as fake as it gets!
Once our thinking changes,everything changes!!
Honestly? Yes.
Do I enjoy life every single day? No. It's an imperfect world and I'm imperfect as well. But, I can roll with that and mostly it's all just fine!
I've been clean for almost 18 months. It's a whole new way of living and I'm loving it. I'm the most honest I've ever been in my life; I feel good MOST of the time. I get down,mad,pissed off,tired,impatient but it's nothing to medicate over! I also FEEL happiness,have become much more humbled,and (for the most part LOL) much more enjoyable to be around!
It takes work and I work at being well...we all need to do that as people and not just as addicts...
Really,being a slave to addiction is an enormous burden. Once it's in check, it becomes so much easier to live...
All the best!
Do I enjoy life every single day? No. It's an imperfect world and I'm imperfect as well. But, I can roll with that and mostly it's all just fine!
I've been clean for almost 18 months. It's a whole new way of living and I'm loving it. I'm the most honest I've ever been in my life; I feel good MOST of the time. I get down,mad,pissed off,tired,impatient but it's nothing to medicate over! I also FEEL happiness,have become much more humbled,and (for the most part LOL) much more enjoyable to be around!
It takes work and I work at being well...we all need to do that as people and not just as addicts...
Really,being a slave to addiction is an enormous burden. Once it's in check, it becomes so much easier to live...
All the best!
thank you for your honest replies...its the fuel i need to feed my brain the daily need i have be convinced not to start again. I've been two weeks clean several times and then my time of the month comes up that i can get my 240 pill hydrocodone refill and i think ohh i can handle it 10 days to 2 weeks later I'm in withdrawal again, my withdrawals are by far the depression anxiety and the cravings......so thats why i wanted to hear whats YOUR motivation? Thanks
Very interesting question. Do I miss the buzz I would get from the Vicodin, yes. That's about as real as it gets. However, its very possible I might bot enjoy it like I remember.
What I dont miss and is sooo much better is I don't have to freak out about WD, running out of pills, how many pills did I take today, what time were my last pills, do I have water for my pills, which dr can I go to again, which dr is new, this pharmacy won't do early refills but that one will.
I'm not kidding you when I say, this is what went on in my mind for years. A living hell.
So to answer your question, yes, I enjoy life more now being clean for 28 days than those dark days of lies.
I hope your clean or thinking about it.
Great question:)
What I dont miss and is sooo much better is I don't have to freak out about WD, running out of pills, how many pills did I take today, what time were my last pills, do I have water for my pills, which dr can I go to again, which dr is new, this pharmacy won't do early refills but that one will.
I'm not kidding you when I say, this is what went on in my mind for years. A living hell.
So to answer your question, yes, I enjoy life more now being clean for 28 days than those dark days of lies.
I hope your clean or thinking about it.
Great question:)
I'm5months clean yesterday actually.U wanna know what's better EVERYTHING.I feel like me who after10+yrs of use+7-8yrs of abuse didn't even know who I really was.I've spent the last5months learning how2live sober getting MY personality back.Enjoying my husband+most important my son.I love that I no longer worry about pills/let my life revolve around them.I love being able2remember everything,enjoy simple things.I had no quality of like n my opinion(Definitely not compared2now).I'm happy4no reason except life.,having my husband+son to really have a family that's healty and happy.
I'm at day five with only 4 hours sleep since I stopped CT. And I can tell you, to feel again, is beautiful. The only way you will know is when you get there! There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. Your halfway to truth yourself... Stay strong we can do this!!
I'm at day five with only 4 hours sleep since I stopped CT. And I can tell you, to feel again, is beautiful. The only way you will know is when you get there! There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. Your halfway to truth yourself... Stay strong we can do this!!
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