Do you think the worst of it is over?

[LostRy510]

First to start off i am quiting... im not letting the soul sucker pills run my life anymore...I have been taking opiets for a couple years now. I quit in july ct for 3 weeks but then i started up again. I have pretty much been taking 12 to 20 5mg vics since then a day. THis last weekend i binged really hard as you can see on my abuse tracker. What else is not included on there is that i took maybe 6 extacy pills also saturday night. Sunday i was out of it and stayed in bed all day i only took 9 vics sunday. then monday  when i woke up i felt like **** and called in sick to work. I was an emotional wreck all day yesterday crying because i am quiting i guess. Yesterday is when i came to terms that i am done..  i could tell i was going through withdrawels and they were finally here... i have been avoiding them for months now.. but since they caught up to me i decided to roll with em just get this over with and get these out of my life. anyways yesterday i only took 7 pills.. and today i feel a lot better i am still emotional ive cried a couple times.. i just want to be normal again.. today i think i have been crying because i know im almost there... i have only taken 2 this morning so far and i only have 2 left.. what should i do? because of my drematic pill intake drop off over the weekend do you think the worst is pretty much over? i feel a lot better than yesterday and have taken a lot less pills.  should i save these 2 pills to last me the rest of the day then get 2 more for tomorrow and then be done aftyer that? i have to go to work tomorrow and i cant go sick.. i dont know.. i dont want to get anymore i want to be done... i hate them!!!!@!

[Axl_0113]

IMHO...you are just dragging it out.

If you want to quit, and need to quit, (and it sounds like you do) then I would suggest just flushing the last two.  No...You are not through the hardest part yet.  Most people report that day 3 or 4 (without ANY) are the hardest.  This was true with me as well....day 3.

I understand what you are going thru- we all do.  The depression, the pain, the confusion....but you have to really, really want this in order for it to work.  You mentioned that you quit CT for 3 weeks, only to go back to using.  Well...you know what you are in for when the time comes.  I am a little concerned as to why you went back to using after 3 weeks clean....  I'm not putting you down...we have all relapsed MANY times....but until you recognize the reasons that you went back to using, you may be doomed to repeat past failures.  

Think about it.

We are all here to help.  If you need anyone thru this ordeal, you are in the right place.  People (complete strangers) here are willing to help in so many ways.  Take advantage of that.

[kksmama]

its great that u r tapering off, but the real wd wont come until u have stopped completely. i was takin 20-25 vic es per day foe a couple yrs. i went from 20 one day to none the next. it was bad but u have to remember its a wk of pain a month of strain but in order to regain our lives. when u r ready u will stop...all of it. lots of support here so kp posting. xoxo

[LostRy510]

i guess i started up again because i got bored. i didnt hang out with my friends because they were still using. i think i really need a girl friend. i havent had one since ive been on these pills.. they have been my girlfriend i guess lol. im so bored today...

[Axl_0113]

i wouldn't worry about the girlfriend thing at this point.  (buy a furry glove)

Focus on your biggest problem first.

If you really want to do this....you are going to have to get serious about it.  If that means finding new (clean) people to chill with, then so be it.

I know exactly where you are coming from.  I did them too, becuase I was bored.  But that's becuase you have an addiction, and the addiction has taken priority in your life- front seat to everything else in your life.  Family, friends, work, social life....everything.  The addiction comes FIRST, and everything else, unless it has something to do with your addiction, is BORRING.  Trust me, I know all about it.

Dude- you did it once....you can do it again.  Just time to get serious about it, and do it.  Man up, and do what you need to do.  Make the lifestyle changes (whatever that may be) and stick to it.....if you are serious about getting your life back that is.

[LostRy510]

I will do it axl. I think im gonna get in the shower and then take a walk...

[Axl_0113]

good idea, bud.

I didn't mean to sound harsh....sorry if I came off that way.  What I was meaning to say, is it really does take a lifestyle change.  By your first post, I get the feeling that you really do want this.

You CAN do it.  And boredome can be the one trigger that brakes progress for a number of people, myself included.  You really have to force yourself to find enjoyment in the things that you did before your addiction.  It's imperative that you reconnect with that part of your life.  It can be the difference between success and complete failure.

Over the next couple of days, I would give serious thought to where you would like to be a month from now.  Or a year from now.  Really think about it.

If you need anyone to talk to....you are in the right place.  The people here are a God send....

Good luck to you sir.  Keep us posted on your progress, please.  

[leeisgettingclean]

no the worse is still to come, you are only dragging it out IMO. You will feel the worse 24-72 hours after last pill. hang in, its worth it buddy. keep posting and if you need anything let me know

[SandySlope]

Also, start an amino acid and vitamin regime to aid in the healing. I suggest the L Tyrosine mixed with Vitamin B complex. (Read the Thomas Recipe for withdrawaling) Add 5-HTP to that especially since you did MDMA last weekend. You can find these at the health food stores. Get the L Tyrosine and the 5HTP in capsule format and read up about them on line. They can help with your depression and brain healing naturally.
Keep reading posts about how people get thru the physical w/ds and the Post WD/s (read up on PAWS). BE STRONG, it can be done and the rewards will start shining through, you just need to know when to recognise the good, too, and dont just concentrate on the bad (Being anxious or bored or feeling crappy) The poisitive side, like getting your SENSES back and your LIFE back and your ReAL LAUGH back, is SOOO worth the stress of quitting!!  Keep reading, this site has helped me out a bunch and I am now on 3 weeks clean and I feel AMAZING. I just gotta keep remembering how horrible it is to go thru this and how I dont want to be damaged from pills anymore......You must WANT it!! You CAN!

[LostRy510]

wow sandy everything you said is right on where im at.. i want all those things back... i cant wait to be three weeks clean and feel great again.. i just took a nice walk along the beach by myself it was really nice. i live across the bay from san francisco so i had a really nice view.. it was really nice. it helped out a lot.. i feel really good today even though i feel really crappy. i think i will be better tomorrow i donbt know.. we will see....

[LostRy510]

Thanks Lee..

[LostRy510]

well i fell a lot better today guys.. still a little crappy.. but i know its almost over... im finally gonna go back to work today... im gonna do it...  i will be free again...

[LostRy510]

I just want everyone to know i am still clean after 3 days of being clean and i feel better than ever. i tapered down so ive been feeling ok for a couple days now but today was unbelievable. i feel awesome. for anyone still in the struggle and to those of you staying clean and fighting the cravings we can and will do it. and the outcome will be better than ever imagined. good luck to all....

[LostRy510]

almost 1 week clean.. cant wait till tomorrow :)

[leeisgettingclean]

wow you are doin good! one week clean so the worse is over, prepare for the mental part. Get some aftercare