Long story short, I relapsed in 2012 and have been abusing again for about a year now.
I have been forging prescriptions- my doctor gas been writing me seperate prescriptions for oxycodone and adderrall. I have been filling the oxy, and also writing in a script for oxy on the adderrall script he gives me.
He called me tonight and said left a message saying he found "very troubling info" on how I obtain the medication. I called him back and he asked me to come in this Wednesday, and to bring the prescriptions I have.
I am so worried, I am aware what type of offense this is. My doctor is generally an easy going and nice guy. He is obviously upset now though. Does anyone think there is any chance that he will let me go, given that I come clean and return all the scripts he recently wrote me? (I was just in his office yesterday). Or do you guys think I'm for sure ******?? He told me to come in anytime wed to talk, I've didn't have a specific time, I even asked what time. I keep imagining myself leaving Wednesday in handcuffs (I am so scared and upset). At the same time, my logic is telling me that maybe he really just want to talk to me, and there's not going to be some official waiting for me to arrive all day kong.
I have so much to lose. I have a great job and I'm engaged to the love my life (she doesn't know). What do you guys think? Should I get a lawyer? Am I for sure going to be charged?
Your doctor has every right to be upset with you but i think he is giving you a chance to come clean. Get the help you need now. Have a talk with your fiance. Coming clean will be a relief. The truth will set you free~
Hi! Thanks for posting. This may be a real blessing in disguise. I agree w/ Sarah. He might be giving you a real opportunity here - if you haven't been flagged before. It sounds like you've got a lot to lose. It's time to come clean and ask for this understanding Dr.'s help w/ a taper and detox plan. If you don't and he simply cuts you off and you continue to run w/ this it's only a matter of time before you get busted. This site is a powerful asset. Please, keep posting. Wishing you every success in your meeting w/ your Dr. We're here..
I am thinking he is giving the chance to come clean however you did do the crime I know people do stupid things when they are in withdrawl. But You have to think before you do things I understand wanting the oxys but if you are getting them in an unhonest way they you have to know there are consquenses for what you are doing. I do believe if the dr is giving u a chance the best scenero would be he refuses to fill any more scripts and discharges as a patient. There is no way to know what he may do. Good luck
No, you don't know what he's going to do. That's why its even more important to be honest w/ him. If you aren't he'll almost certainly be disappointed and PO'd w/ you. I would deal w/ this in a humble, straight forward manner and ask for his help. You're flagged either way. Like I said above, this is a blessing in disguise, even if you don't see it that way right now. Let us know how its goes. Please, keep posting! We're with you.
I agree with Evolver..He most likely wants to know what you are going to say to him..Be very Honest it will save your behind down the line..I just want to know about the adderall? Do you get that for a Attention Disorder, or off the streets like I did for the Buzz??? I can say that this will all work out for the best..You most likely know in your Heart what is right and wrong..I did have a friend that got her methadone from a DR..Someone told the DR that she was selling it..He did get mad and just cut her cod turkey..She did not get in trouble by the law..Just had a hard time with another DR...The pharmacy and doctors have this all set up in the computer system too...
I'm really sorry to hear that you're having to go through this. It must be incredibly stressful, and I know from personal experience that the addiction doesn't let up during these times. That being said, I wanted to offer my observations on the situation. You can be pretty sure:
1) Your doctor is aware that you've committed prescription fraud
2) Your pharmacy likely caught the forgery and contacted your doctor
It is harder to be sure of the following:
1) Whether your pharmacy knows you committed fraud. They may have called or faxed your doctor, who may or may not have confirmed fraud
2) Whether your doctor knows the extent of your fraud yet
3) If law enforcement has been involved yet
If it were me, I would assume that my doctor, if not aware already, will easily be able to learn about the extent of the fraud (the past forgeries). I would be hoping beyond hope that he has not gotten back to the pharmacy yet, as they have strict laws governing when they must contact law enforcement. I would do the legwork in advance to find a criminal attorney who specializes in this sort of thing. I wouldn't actually hire him/her yet, but I'd have him/her on speed dial. And I would follow the advice you've already been given: Come clean to the doctor, 100% clean, and throw yourself on his/her mercy. Part of that reality is that this means it's time to get clean - and I would demonstrate that I was absolutely committed to this when I talked to the doctor. You've committed a victimless crime (other than yourself), and if your doctor understands addiction, they may see helping you as a bigger priority than punishing you. But if I were them, I'd want to see someone who was utterly honest, and utterly committed to getting help.
I wish you the best, and please let us know how it works out.
Hi there , sounds like he is willing to help you or he probably wouldn't have called you and just turned you into the authoritys . That's my intuition anyway . Good luck and I hope all turns out well . Jimmy
Thank you guys all so much for the support. It was very hard to work today, I am just so worried. I've cut back today to nearly 1/2 of what I usually take, In anticipation of what's to come. I'm ready to be clean again- I don't know what happened about a year ago- all I know that my life was at an all time high, and I've let this happen to me again. I've been through this all before: the family pain, rehab, suboxone, the whole nine.
The first thing I will do after I see my doctor (given that I am not in the back of a police car) is post an update. Thanks again for your thoughts and support.
Simple........I've been where you are. He had a chance to just send the police to your house and have you arrested. By your own admission, he is a caring, easy going man. If he had WANTED to have you arrested, he could have done so. He is giving you a chance to admit your deception and ask for help. That is exactly what you should do. Apologize. Swear to never do it again and ask for help with a counselor in addiction or inpatient treatment......whatever he recommends, DO IT! Or you could easily go to jail. He has all he needs to hang you. He's giving you a chance. Take it by being honest and begging for forgiveness.
The way this ends is up to you! Take my advice! And don't forget to let us know what happens ok? Sending you a cyber hug and some prayers!!!
I can only image how scary this is for you, I hope that you take it as hitting bottom and getting help now. Doctors and pharmacists are on high alert when it comes to opiate abuse and fraud right now from the federal gov. They have been warned to follow everything to the letter and cut back on the liberal script writing because so many Americans are ending up hooked or dead from it. That's probably why you got caught, but I agree with the others that you have really dodged a bullet getting caught. I hope you don't get prosecuted, but get help instead. That's what will probably be given to you. I would beg the Doc for help to taper, either that doc or another. Avoid the subs, they are just another pill to deal with. Good luck to you and God Bless, being an addict s**** doesn't it.
if your truly genuinely sorry come clean about it. You've put your doctor in a very bad spot. Worse case scenario he and you may get fined or jailed or both and he/she may lose their right to practice medicine. Come clean and hope that the authorities have not become involved. I don't say this to scare you but i have been to jail for less. If the pharmacy is sure it is fraud they may pursue it without getting your doctors consent. It is Classified as a Schedule 2 Class of Drug in America and considered a gateway to heroin and as such is classed similarly. Don't mess up your life
Hi I did post a reply but its gone! Ive been in the exact same position as you are now facing. I was addicted to a strong opiate coproxamol. They withdrew them from chemists here in uk. I was given a post dated script to contr the volume of pills I was taking 60daily. I changed the date took it into the chemist +he rang surgery. I had to return to the surgery where my dr explained that I had comitted fraud+could be arrested. I cried+said I was desperate+I needed help. He agreed to send me to a rehab clinic. You said your dr is approachable.. Just say that you have never done this before+this shows him how desperate+vulnerable you are. Agree to go to orehab+Ill swe to you he will show compassion. Please let us know how you get on. Thinking of you as Im sure the rest of the guys are too. With love Beccy
The fact that he's allowing you to come in at a time of your choosing is good. LE isn't going to wait in his office all day for something like this, I wouldn't think. Be honest and "spill the beans." Don't try to minimize what you've done either. Hopefully he might opt to help you out rather than report you.
I have to say that I think you have gotten some really good advice from the above posters. Honesty IS the best policy. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I truly hope you use this as an important lesson and decide its time to get clean :) Good luck to you!!!
this is tuff to call now a days doctor have to report to the athorites about abuse then often you will be red flaged for what you have done and no longer be abel to get your percscripitons filled this is a problem that we see more and more on here he is probably not going to report you if he said come in anny time only give you advise on how to stop keep posting here for support and think long and hard how out of control you habit is
I would highly recamend N/A it will help..........Gnarly
I went in, did exactly as pretty much everyone suggested- came fully clean. It was liberating, and would have been extemely liberating if it wasnt for my overwhelming fear. He told me that he already let the DEA know about "suspicious activity" involving my prescription use. I told him that I was hoping he would have considered not reporting it, or at least waited until hearing me out. He told me that although he did report me, it was online through some sort of doctor-DEA portal, and he did not give specifics. Like I mentioned, my doctor told me that he only reported suspicious activity and did not give specifics. He could easily see my incredible stress regarding the forgery and potential charges, and he told me that he wasnt even sure how exactly I was getting the medication. Although im sure it could have been easy for him to guess it was forgery, at the time he reported to the DEA he was not exactly sure and therefore didn't mention that it was forgery. I asked him what he thought the likelihood was of the DEA coming after me, he repeatedly said he didn't know - until the very end- when he could tell that I was breaking down, he mentioned that if he had to guess, they probably won't. I don't know if that had any true meaning behind it or not. The doc cut me off, told me I need to get help (rehab) and should tell my fiancé (I'm not going to resort to that yet- it would ruin my engagement/marriage, this I know for a FACT). I told him that I am thankful that this has happened, and that I am of course incredibly sorry and embarrassed. I told him that this person that was forging is really not me, it's the oxy. That stuff makes me do really weird things and feel no emotion when emotion is needed. It makes me a different person than who I really am. All the while, I keep taking more, and more, and ******* more! It is blowing my ******* mind how I let my life slide so deep into this crap after already getting clean years back! Addiction is the ******* worst.
I'm not going to go to another doc and get more pills. He let me keep the one script I filled 2 days ago, and told me to taper. I have been trying to find an outpatient rehab clinic that will accommodate my life.
Does anyone have any experience with where Im at? What do you guys think- are they going to come after me? I really don't know what to think.
The posts and care if experienced by you guys here has been overwhelming, in a good way. I apologize for going on and on here, but I literally have NO ONE else to talk to and get advice from; and because of that, I am indebted to this group in a big way. Thank you.
I think you are going to be fine. I have a feeling the doctor would go to bat for you if the worst happened. Now it is time to move on and work on getting clean. This is a huge wake up call for you cuz if this would happen again you would be answering to the authorities. I hope you can come clean to your fiance. Secrets can be a real deal breaker or she may be your best supporter. Using is just a symptom of what is really going on with you. Recovery involves taking a hard look at ourselves all the while giving us the tools we need to stay clean. I know this is alot to take in all at once so we will just proceed slowly. Did your doctor give you a taper plan?
I would tend to agree w/ Sarah. The thing that will really mitigate any legal consequences at this point is if you go to a detox/rehab BEFORE anything happens and let your Dr. know your doing it even if you're no longer w/ him. If he wants to keep you at arms length and won't even recommend a detox place I would go to some local AA/NA meetings for advice on this. Also, you'd be making clean contacts that you could reach out to after detox and your effort to get clean will be 'witnessed' before it. . Keep the paperwork from your detox. That said, I think you just might be in the clear if your Dr. was vague w/ the DEA. They're busy busy guys these days....Please, keep us posted!
"The doc cut me off, told me I need to get help (rehab) and should tell my fiancé (I'm not going to resort to that yet- it would ruin my engagement/marriage, this I know for a FACT)."
Getting clean is telling all our secrets to those closest that we love. If she truly loves you she will stand with you. If not, you are going to always have this in the back of your mind wether or not you succeed in recovery.
Don't you think when she finds out, and she will some day that you deceived her? This is about her life as well. Good luck!
Hi I just wanted to say that all of the above is right..If you get into some IOP or a Rehab or any Support right now it will look better for you in the long run..And Yes, Yes be up front and honest with your fianc'e..You do not want to start a marriage out with secrets like this..You will feel a big weight lifted just like the DR issue..OK
My Prayers will be with you..
I'm glad you were honest, and it sounds pretty good thus far. There's no way to predict what will happen with the DEA, but if I had to venture a guess, probably the most extreme situation would be them talking to you, to make sure that you weren't dealing or anything. They have the obligation to follow up on the report, but that doesn't mean they would be looking to go after you.
They're really not interested in coming after people who are abusing the meds themselves. It's more the dealing that they concern themselves with. If your doctor made an online report, most LIKELY he had to enter your name and info somewhere. Even though he states he gave vague info, I'm pretty sure he would have included your name as being somehow related to the suspicious activity. Did he say how he found out? Did the pharmacy call him? He has a responsibility to report something like this, with his license and DEA number, especially because you're talking a higher class narcotic. If this had been Tylenol with Codeine, it would be a lesser offense. There's a reason narcotics are classed like they are, based on higher potentials for abuse and diversion.
I agree that your number ONE focus at this point should be rehab. As hard as it will be, do not try to overthink the law enforcement aspect of this situation...you did exactly what you should have....and that part is out of your hands now. You were honest, didn't withhold any info from your doc...if the authorities need to talk to you (and they may, to investigate the report)...then they will get a hold of you. If you can show them that you're in treatment, that would be the best scenario. Actions speak louder than words.
I'm sure you're scared to death to tell your fiancee, and that is your decision, but there are a couple reasons why you really should IMO. For ONE, your doctor DID make a report, while I'm sure your fiancee would be shocked for you to tell her all of this, imagine if she finds out with DEA agents knocking at your door? Honestly...you REALLY don't want to put her in that position...that would be FAR FAR worse. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, your fiancee may be more supportive than you could have ever imagined. Also, you may sort of be selling her short...a LOT of times, the loved ones either already KNOW, or have a really good idea something is going on. I bet she has an inkling that something isn't right, and she may already suspect that you're using. Honestly, most people in these situations who say they cannot tell their partner because they would leave them...almost always come back to say that the partner was 100% supportive and ready to help. People are always shocked and amazed. That happens more often than not. I've rarely seen (here) where a person's worst fears came true.
Like others have said, your secrets will keep you sick. Just like that liberation you had with your doctor, you'll have that with her too. You could use all of the support you can get, and I honestly think the outcome would be far worse if you keep this from her (especially as out of hand as it's gotten, with LE involved)...than if you tell her.
To be honest, it's also not really fair to HER to be going into a marriage with you withholding that information. She has the right to know that and decide how to proceed based on what she thinks she could handle. Try to put yourself in her shoes. More than anything, wouldn't you feel as though you had a right to know? And wouldn't you be FAR more upset if she kept that from you, rather than trusting you enough to tell you? Also, the chances that she won't somehow, some day find out about this are slim. It would be MUCH better coming from you. Just really give it some thought. I know you're scared, that's normal...but you really need to think this through...it's the best thing, not only for your relationship with her (relationships with big secrets don't always do well)...but also for your recovery.
Move forward, start looking into recovery options ASAP...in the form of meetings, private therapy, or both. Inpatient would be GREAT if you could pull it off, because that is an even bigger commitment to jump start your recovery. Inpatient isn't an option right now because of your fiancee not knowing about your addiction..that's a perfect example of just one way telling her would be a good thing. If you get her on board, you will have even more options for recovery.
You did a great job yesterday...you did the right thing. You should be very proud of yourself. You have to really WANT this, which you seem like you do. Don't look at recovery as just a way to get around the possible legal troubles. Look at it like another chance at starting over, and getting free of the opiates once and for all! You can do this, and we'll be here to help you along the way!!
I'm anxious to read your follow up posts...let us know what's going on.
Telling those important in our lives about our addiction/secret is very scary. The unknown factor of what they are going to say or do is what stops us. It was not until I told my husband, both of my adult children and my doctor did I feel the world life off my shoulders. I no longer had to detox/withdraw and hide it from everyone else. I had tried that many times before and it did not work.
Was it the hardest thing I ever did??? You betcha. I had kept that secret for many years and it was hard to let go. Everyone surprised me. My daughter knew already, but she was always a smarty pants...my son was the hardest to tell and he gave me the most support (for him). My hubby had not clue and still does not..but he was glad to know why I was so sick. The end result is I have been clean over a year and plan to keep it that way.
I hope can take this chance to get and stay clean..it is not easy, but it is very doable with time and effort and support from those around you.
Hi...i'm so glad it well with the doc.....as for if they come after you, that is something we just don't know....i was in a similar situation but it was the pharmacy that said they contacted the DEA....i have been blessed so far with nothing happening....and pray it stays that way for both of us....mine was almost 5 mos ago. But aftercare and some sort of recovery plan is the best thing for you right now....most of all for yourself and then it will def look good IF anything happens with LE....please let us know how you are doing....you can do this....and my situation scared me straight...hoping this does you as well..good luck with it all! and keep posting for support...we can help you thru it. :)
I truely feel you are going to be ok with the dea as he said he didn't go into the specifiacs. I do think he would have to press charges against you for anything to stick and by the way he acted I think he is not going to do that...so I believe you are safe there. Do you really think you GF would leave you because of your serious problem. She could be a big help in your recovery. You would be suprised how my your love can love you back. You are wanting and need help to get through this. He gave you thee script he filled and is letting to taper off. I know it doesn't see like much but that could be what saves you how many pills do you have left it you dont mine me asking? I hope for the best for you oh also Did he discharge you as a patient? you said you were looking for a rehab that would accomidate your life style. You should as you dr what and who he would suggest. This will also show him how much you are serious about getting help. Thoughts and prayers are with you. You can do this. Good Luck!!!
He discharged me as a patient, i have the full script left (100) and have been trying to not take as much. I have not yet committed to a scheduled taper plan. I will need help on that, I am going to put pen to calendar and figure something out. Beyond the taper, I have an outpatient (expensive) clinic that I can get In touch with if need be. My plan right now is to taper, attend na/pa meetings after work, and stay in touch on this site.
Regarding my fiancé, it's not as easy as just telling her because I'm afraid. She knows about my drug issue from the past, and knows that I was extremely addicted and went through rehab. She is the type of person who does not take anything illicitly herself, hasn't In her lifetime, and is very close minded to us addicts- she doesn't understand not accept "addiction" as a legitimate disease. I have argued with her about it before, I was obviously advocating for the addict as having a diagnosed medical disease- she strongly believes that it is in the hands of the person to decide their fate as an addict and has zero tolerance for ppl who chose to put drugs into their bodies.
I understand what some of you are saying, that A) she deserves to know, and B) she still may be more understanding about it than I think bc she loves me. I agree with both. However I am extremely dedicated to getting to sobriety right now and staying that way permanently. Like I've mentioned, I've been through this before And lived a sober healthy life for 2 years. And that wasnt while on suboxone, I tapered off Sub in 6 mo's and was completely drug free for 2 years, I didn't even think about opiates.
If I fail at this, which I'm determined not to, then yes I will be forced to tell her and pray for her sympathy and care. Our relationship is founded on the premise that I am drug free and will continue to live that way, despite having a previous problem. Before I tell her, I am going to try to get clean and once again live a sober life with opiated use being something of my past. I think it's reasonable to try to do this right now, with the support of you guys, and not resort to telling her just yet.
I don't want to jeapordize the support of this group bc I have decided not to tell her yet and many disagree- I just want to be transparent, come clean here, and let you know exactly what my thought process is right now. Hopefully, you will accept and understand my predicament and give support.
Hi..I am glad you let us know what is up..I bet the weight is lifted..As far as your, soon to be wife, only you know whats right..My hats off to you bud for telling the truth to the DR...Now it is up to you to do what is best..I do think if you go to the meetings and get support you will be much stronger not to relasp again..I know you can do it..I will cheer for you..Ra! Ra! Go! Go!...
May God Be With You Always...
You would never lose support here....just know that we can be bossy and will always be honest (lol)...never get offended, and know we always mean well. ;0)
It's YOUR life, and YOUR decisions, and while we are giving you the best advice we can from where we're at, there's no judgment involved if you don't follow our advice. We recognize that saying it is a lot easier than doing it...and certainly from what you've explained, I can understand your reservations. I would just hate to see the relationship go south after you get clean, because she may discover you withheld this from her. That would be so unfortunate.
I really appreciate your honesty and striaghtforward posts. It's nice to see that you're reading, and hearing us, but that you're being honest with where you're at..that's not always easy to do when you perceive that people will be disappointed. Don't feel that way.
We're ALL pulling for you! Sounds like you've started making a plan...that's great. As long as you are moving in the right direction, that's progress. I would definitely make calculating the taper a top priority. You've got a good bit to work with, but you don't want to find yourself looking at an empty bottle not knowing what to do next.
The DEA generally works in a more regulatory capacity with regards to pharmacies than LE. The exception would probably be a massive diversion of opiates. Doesn't mean they can't, but would likely never. The script forgery would be handled by the local Sheriff or police.
Sounds like you are doing the right thing as far as getting clean. I wanted to add something regarding what you said the doc said when he did his report to the DEA....that he wasn't sure how you were getting the drugs. I was a pharmacy technician back when i was in college for 5 years. When I first read your posts a few days ago I thought, "what pharmacy would fill a C2 adderall script with oxycodone written on it?" Unless things have changed, a C2 script is supposed to be written as only 1 drug on the prescription....no other drugs on it at all, which is why your doc gave you 2 scripts, 1 for each med. where I worked, we wouldn't have filled that prescription with 2 meds for controlled substances on it. The pharmacy may have to explain that one to the DEA. Unless things have changed, since I haven't worked as a tech in almost 10 years.
Excellent point, JB! I believe that is still the way it works. Just like the schedule II meds cannot be CALLED in either (and many other scheduled meds following suit), there are those safeguards in place.
That's very true, that the pharmacy will likely have to answer for that. That's a big no no. The DEA may have to interview the OP to verify that indeed HE was the one who forged the script, so they can rule out any funny business with the pharmacy. They would be way more concerned about something shady going on with the pharmacy.
Hollow...how many forged scripts do you think they filled? Was it always the same pharmacy?
We will be here to support you. This is your recovery and you have to do what you feel is the best. Hopefully in time you will feel comfortable enough to tell her. AND anyone who knows me knows i will bring it up from time to time!! lol
Forged about 6-8 in 3 month timeframe. It was at multiple mainstream pharmacy's. not one technician ever said anything about that... Maybe it's not a law anymore? I've filled about 600-800 pills thIs way and at multiple pharmacy's.
Where are you at? Which state? I'm pretty sure that's an accross the board law in most places, but I could be wrong. There are definitely more restrictions and safeguards in place on the higher classed narcotics.
If you got them filled at multiple pharmacies, and no one said anything, then maybe it isn't a law. I'm just curious for informational sakes. I'll have to look it up.
How are you doing today? Try not to worry about the subtrafuge charge that may and may not ever happen. Just focus on getting clean for right now.If you are clean when and if this ever becomes an issue,they will definitely take that into account. Hang in there and keep letting us know how you are.That's all I really care about in this situation,definitely not about whether or not the cops get you.
I still think you need to tell your G/F. It is one of those things that i bet if she finds out on her own she will question the whole relationship and think I wonder what else he has lied about? Please consider that I would hate to see her leave you for doing the right thing. I really believe if you are honest about everything she will be 100% be by your side and help you through your recovery. I am speaking as a woman and what I would probably think if i was in her position. Plaese consider what I have said!
Been debating saying this, as I don't want to scare you or take your focus off your recovery. But in my estimation, it will do more good, so: You really should talk to a lawyer, just in case. If law enforcement (LE) contacts you, you really need to be ready. And that means: Do not say ANYTHING without a lawyer! Know and understand your 4th and 5th Ammendment rights, and use them! I am not at all anti-police, please don't take it that way. Be polite, cooperative, respectful, and insist on your rights...
I don't think a little preparation and a little thought about the possibilities is going to take his focus off his recovery. I don't think he should be obsessively worried about the "what ifs", but it's definitely helpful to hear some differing thoughts and input about any possible legal ramifications.
Most lawyers will give you an initial consultation for free. I don't think it would hurt to talk to someone, and like someone said earlier, to have a lawyer on "speed dial" per se who you've talked to, that way IF someone contacts you, you can call the lawyer and find out how to proceed to best protect yourself. Most I believe will tell you NOT to talk to LE, not before speaking to a lawyer first.
Hello...I am praying for you. My sister was in your EXACT situation, well she was " doctor " shopping. I knew she took pills, but had NO idea it was that bad. The DEA showed up at her door. She did not answer, she called me as I am an attorney. I told her to open the door. They did not arrest her, but set a date in two days for her to be interviewed. Needless to say, I came with and and would interrupt and tell her not to answer certain questions. One was very nice, the other an a hole, which is why I told her that. She had already started an outpatient treatment, so they were pretty lenient with her. She did have to face a judge, but being in treatment saved her a**! I had to keep a stone face as they brought out a huge packet of records of forgeries and doctor shopping. I was floored! I showed no reaction. She was so scared as she is a single mom. Since she was already in treatment before she got caught she ended up with probation. I would stress to you to please get in an outpatient treatment ASAP, because as an attorney I know judges take that into consideration if it EVER goes that far. She was never even flagged! Now she is abusing methadone and Ativan which is a lethal combo. I am so scared for her. I will be praying for you and rooting for you. Get a taper schedule ASAP....Namaste
Great info belle! That's why I was saying get clean now.Don't try to ride out the rest of your remaining script with hopes of tapering or getting clean later when they are gone.Now is the best time and a state run outpatient facility is next to nothing in cost. Be clean if and when you are contacted and there will be a night and day difference on how this goes.
I'm a newbie here so excuse me for chiming in late. I read some posts pertaining to your fiancé and I will have to disagree with some people. You are right to be doing what you are doing. Some things are better left unsaid-especially if she is as headstrong as you previously mentioned.
It sounds like you are ready to be clean and sober. This mishap was lesson enough- add in all the ******** you are about to go through coming off drugs- you do not need to further complicate your life.
I think a lot of people here know about opiates and withdrawal- and the depression that accompanies it. Couple that with whatever may happen with her could devastate him. Not to mention everything else. I just hope your careful.
Might I suggest trying to be open about NA? She might be suspicious about why your arriving home late. She knows your history- I don't know- just trying to be helpful. Maybe she could also attend Alanon or whatever that program is to get a better understanding of addiction.
Exactly, I agree completely. My sister could have potentially did some time if she was not in treatment and had an unsympathetic judge... I just hope she will get help for the Methadone she used to get off the Norcos...
I've been keeping up with this thread since day one and have decided to chime in here. I respectfully disagree with daj3. Hiding thongs from your fiance is never a good idea. The old saying "what you dont know, wont hurt you" is not true. The truth always comes out dinner or later. Wouldn't you rather her be upset about the pills rather than upset about the pills and the lies? You aren't giving her the chance to support you here. She might be the best person in the world to lean on! If she can't understand your addiction (because you will always be an addict) then maybe she isn't the one for you! How would you feel if she was keeping secrets from you? What if the cops do get involved? Do you really want her finding out about all this because you are in jail? I agree that you have a lot going on right now and if she was to leave you in the middle of all this then it would make this harder but you have to give her the option of staying and helping you or leaving and you do it for you! Sorry. I just had to chime in because I think lying to your fiance is the worse thing you could do right now! She needs to know the real you! She deserves that and you deserve to know the truth about her too!
Late at night and being a newbie am surfing cause my particular predicament is dealing with my RLS , now that I have dumped the oxy I was using to treat the symptoms.
As for your fiance, only you can make that call. but.....................
I am 65 years old, do not have an addictive personality, but have had to suffer thru some withdrawl plans, cause some of the drugs the so called experts "doctors" have given me to deal with my severe RLS, specifically , clonazopam, and oxycodone, made me an addict per se, .
I'm ramblin, so let me get to the point. Your "wife to be" needs to be your lover, your best friend, your confidant, your sounding board, and the one person you know for sure you can go to when your life is a mess. If you start out with a lie, depending on how she finds out , you could blow it all, even if its down the road when that happens.
I got hooked on the benzo's accidently, and was suffering horribly, and when all my friends could not understand this, she stood by me tooth and nail till I beat the benzo's , and for your info, that was far far more difficult than dumping the oxy I did last Tuesday.
After putting her thru hell with my benzo withdrawl, I told her I would have to put her thru it again getting off the oxy, and her remark , whatever it takes, we'll get thru it togeather.
If she is the love of your life , she needs to know how difficult it is for you to deal with your addiction, and she may not like it, but if she is all you think she is , she will help you get thru it not walk away from you.
Just the opinion of an old man, but worth some more thought.
Best of luck to you...dealing with addiction is bad and going thru withdrawl from the drug worse.
IMO, I agree with what I see posted all the time here, that as an addict, their secrets keep them sick. There are just so many reasons why telling her would be the right thing, even if the worst possible outcome happened.
My biggest fear is that she will find out another way (expecially if LE does get involved). At that point, the damage is already done, and she would be very upset. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if I found out my husband had an addiction by way of DEA agents at my door. OMG, I couldn't imagine to be honest. I really doubt I would be willing to hear anything he had to say at that point. I'm just being honest...because it would be involving ME too, and that would be so unfair, to be blindsided. It's setting her up to be so shocked and unprepared, especially if they live in the same home, she may even need to be interviewed, just wouldn't be right to throw her into something like that when he hasn't told her anything. THAT would far more likely ruin the relationship than him telling her, and taking his chances, whether she's intolerant or not.
Again, just my opinion, but I think going into a marriage with a secret this big is just a HUGELY good way to guarantee the demise of the marriage...because I think there is a really good chance she is going to find out anyway somehow. Even if he tells her after he gets clean, it may be too late. I think the best thing we could do is always encourage people to be honest in these kinds of situations. What he chooses is his decision, and we'll support him in his recovery either way. But like sarah said, expect us to mention it and recommend it from time to time. ;0) Honesty is the best policy when it comes to advising someone about how to handle an addiction.
OP...how are you feeling today? Have you set up a taper plan? How many pills have you been taking, and how many do you have left? If you haven't yet set up a solid plan, you need to do that ASAP...because like I said, you're going to find yourself with an empty pill bottle and then would be forced to go cold turkey. CT is always an option, but you have enough to at least taper down to a lower dose before jumping. That would be optimal. A lot of addicts struggle with being able to taper, it's hard. Have you made any appts for therapy? Gone to any meetings?
Hope you're moving forward with your plans! Keep us updated! You've gotten some great advice, you have some things to ponder. I think YOU will probably feel better too if you had a consultation with a lawyer. Something to keep in mind. I think it would be important to do that sooner rather than later, because once you start having w/ds, you may be out of commission for a few days...so it's best to do that kind of stuff now. Plus, IF something were to happen, you never know when that would be. You wouldn't want to wait until someone is knocking at your door to make that call.
The old saying you do the crime you do the time always comes to mind when i read these. People are advised not to talk to anyone or go to rehab. When it comes to addiction we have to get brutally honest with ourselves and our loved ones as recovery is life changing and has to be to continue living clean. I fully understand trying to beat a rap but this always concerns me as getting clean has to be our decision, not just cuz we are running scared and we want to make it look better for the judge. Belle gave a good example in her post. This is just my opinion and i am not bashing anyone. I just know i had to face alot of truths these last few years. It wasnt fun but it was necessary for me to move forward.
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