Does a recovering addict become prone to a faster decline in their tolerance?

[FINISHED!!]

As many of you know, I have suffered a shattered ankle & broken wrist earlier in the month resulting in reconstructive surgery...placing MORE titanium in my oh-so-shattered body. Before this, I was over 150 days clean from a Vicodin ES habit consisting of 20 to 30 pills a day...sometimes taking as many as 6 at a time over a period of appr. 2 years. As one would easily guess, my tolerance had grown to an astronamical high. (no pun intended) I was told by my ortho doc that surgery was necessary to repair the damage in my ankle due to the severity of the injury. I was then given 1 pin, 1 plate & a handful of screws...along with two tension rods that are still poking about 4 inches through the skin. I was released from the hospital with a script for 40 percoset 10 mg with 1 refill. I have yet to take more than 4 pills in a single day but that was only for 1 day of severe pain. The prescribed amount was to take 1 or 2 pills every 6 hours. My worry lies in the fact that obviously I have TRUE pain that no amount of tylenol will extinguish alone but I've noticed the pain worsening over the past few days & even the percs aren't giving the amount of relief they did in the beginning. I have GREAT faith in my ability to NEVER abuse my medication again due to the fact that I have always had the Vicodin ES on hand since detox due to my past injuries. (taking no more than 6 or 7 a month) Question is this: Does you tolerance rise faster than those who have not ingested the amount that I have in the past? Is it possible that the body remembers?

FINISHED!!

[hippy]

hey there,
yes the body remembers,
you seem to need something for pain.
sounds like your need oxy 40 twice a day
but that is up to you and your doc.

peace to you brother
may you heai quickly
hippy

[mrmichael67]

Sure it does.  When one quits, their tolerance goes down.  But, if they pick up again, they will be right back to where they were, tolerance wise, in a couple of days....even if it takes that long.  After long term opioid use, your body is basically rewired.

[FINISHED!!]

I also wanted to mention that I HAVE been back to the hospital 3 seperate times for a Demoral shot during the worst of these days. I will be going back in for another surgery in a couple of weeks assuming that the bones are healed enough to remove the rods from my ankle. I've gone in 2 times a week since the surgery for a "tightening" of these rods & that's when the pain becomes it's worst. I'm VERY confident in my ability to control the intake of the meds as I had said before. I detoxed cold turkey with over 120 Vicodin ES in the house, have always had them in the house since & have absolutely NO urge to abuse them again. I now know their seceret. I can no longer be fooled by the veil that disguises their evil. They have only one purpose in my life since detox...pain relief in only the worst of times. I've had numerous surgeries, broken bones & severe injuries due to a professional career in motocross over the years...I DO have legitimate & sometimes unbearable pain that requires medicating at times. I've never taken more than 3 pills in a single day since detox & have never taken close to the 155 a month that I'm allowed. I have gone from taking anywhere between 620 & 930 pills a month to taking anywhere from 6 to 20 at most a month. I've noticed a HUGE decrease in my tolerance during this time but with this injury & the needed daily intake of the meds, it seems that my tolerance has risen by the day. I know that the pain I feel is a severe pain but the percs in the beginning worked great. I was able to take a half perc 10 mg, twice a day after the surgery for the most part along with 1 loracet 10/650. Now I feel the need for further pain relief. The pain has DEFINATELY gotten worse with every procedure & I know this is not my addicted brain telling me so. My doc has told me to take the meds as prescribed because they work better if taken before the pain gets to a level of uncontrolled severity. I refused to do so because of fear of withdrawl...again. So is it possible that my body "remembers" where my tolerance WAS & is climbing back to that point at a much faster rate than that of a non-addict? Sorry for the long winded question but the pain is taking control of my fingers & typing this post like some alien parasite using my musculature to relay a message to the world.

THANKS!!!

FINISHED!! No really...That's all.

[suzieneedshelp]

It is my understanding that if you truley need the pain meds ( which YOU DO!)   THAT YOU WILL NOT GET ADDICTED TO THeM FOR A BRIEF PERIOD IF YOU TAKE EM EXACTLY AS PREsCRIBED.  SEe your body is using them for legitimate pain control and not just your brain to satisfy a hunger for euphoria.  
Peace to you dear Finnished!
Suzie hugs ya!

[FINISHED!!]

Thanks for the speedy reply but those weren't the answers I was hoping to find. I was hoping to see, "Oh no...you'll never regain the tolerance you had unless you choose to abuse the meds again." Although I had a pretty good idea what the answers would REALLY be. Again thanks guys.

FINISHED!!

[feelsobad]

Although I have not posted but once ,during detox, I have been reading posts since october. I had been on loritab 7.5/500 15-20/day for over 8 years maybe longer, the fog really does blanket the last decade. At my doctors request I was swithed to oxy. to get away from the tylenol according to him. Started at 10 mg. at first but quickly over the next few months shoot up to my "comfort" level, 80 mg. 5-6 x day, chewing. As you can imagine I had long since gone beyond the pain problem that constituted pain meds in the first place. By now purely to gain a since of normalcy. Chew 2 in the morning with my coffee, take 2 or 3 to work for when things got un-normal then come home to my wife, daughter and pill bottle and not necessarily in that order. So anyway, as most here have experienced, you "will" wake up to the dawning of ROCK FRICKIN BOTTOM. At that point you realize your soul may no longer be yours. Yeah I fought demons that I never new existed. Demons that get in your head and if you let them they devour the part of your soul that you still cling to.

So as you see Ive been down in that "valley" that Rex spoke of once. And you won't get through it by being the meanest S.O.B. in the valley. I have been truly,(verily)humbled. Compassion for my fellow inhabitants of this planet has never been more to the forefront as now that I have learned humility from my darkest, deepest, not so secret shortcommings. I am clean now but it is a struggle every second of every minute of every day. But with this group of people here on the forum I feel a kindred spirit. This path we chose may have been our undoing but as long as we can log on to a family like this there is always HOPE. As long as poeple like us have hope there is a future.

I know my recovery has been much more sever than most but my misery is justified. Years of chemical euphoria wont leave me anytime soon. It took a loooong time to get here. Ive turned around and started walking the other way. I dont see the starting point but I know it has to be around one of these next bends. I have lost just about everything personality-wise, self respect, physical and mental health... the proverbial ROCK BOTTOM. Folks there is no way but up. And we can all climb that ladder out of our addiction with each others help and support.   Every screwed up emotion our new life w/o drugs has delt us has been experienced by someone here. WE'VE BEEN THERE.

I apologize for the melodrama but its been one of those recovery days. TGIF!!

feelsobad

[Oxyclean]

Wow! What a great post. That one really makes you think about how you have to hit rock bottom before you can make it back up! It is a everyday battle, but a doable one...is that a word? Anyway, thanks for the post. For me, to stay clean, I have to be reminded about how awful it was to be on those Oxys even though we thought at the time it was great.

[feelsobad]

Oxy. Yeah,I thought about all the oxy chewers, snorters and shooters as I told a part of my story. I heard others on this forum explain how terriblely prolonged oxy wd's are. There is just no explaining. I have even thougt about starting a campaign to ban General Practictioners from prescribing it. Those guys just don't know the evil that they are introducing you to. I had had many, many wds from hydro because of running out before my next scrip could be filled, as long as 2 or 3 weeks. I was acually finished with wds by the time I got it refilled. SO STUPID.
Never had anxiety and depression just a good case of the "flu" and runs for a week or so. It wasn't pleasant but I could handle that. Then enter oxy's. Now I have to see a shrink to figure the what, where and why I abused. Which IS the root of the problem. And xanax or vallium is off limits because he thinks I will abuse them. Im sorry but a hard core addict needs to "feel" a medicine is doing something. That's why I had to finally write to this forum. It is an elixer that soothes better than prosac.

Finished!! Be very carful. You are putting one finger in cold water and another in the fire.... I was clean once, temporarily, as long as you. Something happened in my life that took me back to hydros. The first 3 or 4 days I got my buzz like the very first time but after that initial newness, the old familiar crummy gotta take em to get out of bed took right back over. But that is me. You seem very committed to staying clean. I admire you for that. Your in true legit pain. Take them sparingly. Your tolerance builds much quicker the 2nd and 3rd time around. I speak from my own experience not as a doc who hasn't walked in my shoes.

Have a good day my friends,
feelsobad

[ladymp72]

I have realized that basically all you talk about is these damn pills that u have and don't know whether u should take them or not. Frankly me and a few other people that I talk with think maybe you should quit mentioning them so much. To me it seems as if you are looking for permission to take them so that if something was to go wrong you would be able to blame someone. If you are in pain then take them that really should not be a question. Being recovered it is hard to constantly hear about all these meds that you have. So if you want or need to know if you will get addicted again I think the only person to answer that is YOU. Please for the sake of us that are trying to stay clean could you please just chill out!

Craving

[minime]

That was kind of mean.  Now we can't talk about God or pills.  What is the point of this forum?  Would someone please explain that because I have become afraid to talk about anything.

[suzieneedshelp]

Swee t man!  Listen u can say wutever u r feeling and going thru relevant to addiction on this board!  That is the whole point of this board!  Where is the kindness and humility and compassion for fellow addicts who are suffering?  Esp for a person who has reached out to us  all so generously and who has severe pain now from injuries yet to be operated on like finnished!  If a person comes here to NOT hear about pilLs well thIs is not the site to be at!
Peace...
Suzie

[vicohusband]

My wife has been on vicoprophen for a little over a year now...she says 8 pills a day. Pain management under a doctor's care. I have no doubt that she is addicted, and on refill day, she is at the pharmacy or doc's office first thing. My mother-in-law is insisting that my wife has stolen at least 40 percosets from her which she got a recent prescripton, as well as having called in several fake prescriptions. I asked my wife, she denies, although my mother-in-law is not the most reliable source of information, I have to admit I'm a bit suspicious. I have no real proof. I'm trying to do the right thing here. I'm pretty sure my wife needs help...she won't admit it, and I don't know what to do.

[Vicqueennomore]

Lots of factors and questions.....
Is she really in pain now and from what? are there other pain management methods for her pain? is she really taking them for pain? are 8 a day what was prescribed? I would guess that after a year 8 a day would at least cause a physical addiction, just a guess, I am not a dr.
Even if your mother is right, it is neither here nor there, your wife does not think she has a problem.
Without her admission, I can't say for sure what to do except if she is in pain maybe tell her to come to this sight and share her pain with others here and perhaps that may give her the realization of addiction or not addiction......
Just my opinion....
Good for you for caring somuch, I only we could all have a support like you...
By all means, don't accuse, try to help, ok????

[FINISHED!!]

My question was not whether I'd become addicted or not...if that's what you read into it you may want to read again. If it bothers you so much, breeze right on past my posts...I wont be offended...really. That, in my opinion, was an absolutely ridiculous post on your part Lady. I need nobody to blame if I should get into trouble with my meds nor do I need permission to take them. You have really misunderstood the whole point of that post & lashed out for no other reason than your own lack of control. If my talking about what meds I have, which or how much I take affects yours or any others recovery then maybe your problem lies within yourself. I don't recall offering any meds to you or anyone else. How is it possible that my having medication on hand will result in your failing to stay clean? Maybe you should take a step outside of yourself & ask this question. I'd think that my being able to control my intake would be a huge step in my recovery...not a threat to yours. Please think before you lash Lady. I've never had malicious intent towards you or any other member here but you obviously do. As I've said before, CHOICE is a powerful word. You have the CHOICE of what to read & what to pass on. If I bother you so, then ignore my posts. I'll still be here though. I see nothing wrong with my being honest, asking honest questions & giving honest replies. Nothing in the speaking of my meds was meant to rub anybody's nose in anything. Most know me here & know my intent is always good & my heart sincere. I recall you & I corrisponding on friendly terms at one time & I hope that you will understand this post without anger, resentment or malice. Maybe someday you'll see me for what I truly am. An addict like you just with a bad injury history who has legitimate pain that MUST be maintained at times. Thank you Suzie, minime & all others for understanding the TRUE meaning & intent of my post. I hope you never have pain like I do Lady. Judge & you'll face the very same judgement in time.

FINISHED!!

[Vicqueennomore]

I find your postings inspiring in the fact that I am always concerned that if I do get injured or ill to the point of having to take pain meds ligit then will I be able to control them as a recovery addict. Your ability to do that as an addict inspires me. Please keep posting and sorry for all your pain.....
Tammy

[vicohusband]

Thanks for answering...yes she has real pain. Car accident about three years ago left her with chronic neck and back pain. She has had consults with several doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors and has considered two different types of surgery and has been on other meds before the vicoprophen. Fibromyalgia is what everybody finally agreed on (I think that's what they tell you when they don't know). Anyway, The prescribed dosage has of course increased to the eight a day level, but I think she is taking more....plus according to my mother-in-law, a handful of percosets over the past few days. It just seems like recently, she is trying to hide it all, instead of being honest with me and probably her doctor. I will try to get her to this board over the weekend.

[stag27]

I read with astonishment your post. I thought that I was the only one who thought this way. I have been addicted to painkillers for the last 5 years.  It started with pain management and has rocketed to addiction. I can relate about the demons in your head, no one would understand it if they haven't been through it. I have attempted to kick the habit several times but always fall back to the serenity of that warm feeling. I have gotten to the point now that my addiction is more robotic than anything else.  The feeling is not what it use to be and somehow I feel that I have got to chase this "feeling". Why? I don't know, I do know that I hate what I do, I feel as though I am cheating myself as well as my loved ones, still I must chase. I should need no other reason to quit than to see what I do to myself and loved ones. What did you do to finally come to the point of no return and turn the table around? What is it that keeps one from doing what has to be done? Any comments or suggestions would greatly be appreciated

[Vicqueennomore]

You are a good man....she may deny it to you but she knows deep in her heart she has a problem. The first sign is the increased dosage and the theft-if that is in fact true(giving her the benefit of the doubt).
Tell her the subject may say addiction but it is also a board where others help each other with pain management....
Best of luck to you and her...
Hope to here from you both...
Tammy

[saveyourself]

Hey dude,

Sorry you are in the painful predicament from your crash.  I used to ride dirt bikes a lot in my teens.  I loved them, had a yamaha 125 mx, the worse accident I had on that was I looped doing a 5th gear wheelie.  I was doing about 50mph, I was only going up to get gas for a ride to the mountains with my partners the next day.  I only had on jean cut offs and tennis shoes. Sun was setting, I was on my favorite trail back home and exceeded my abilities, hand slipped off the throttle, the bike slowly came up and over, I took three giant steps and ate desert.  I was lucky, no broken bones, but major scrappage on my back, it took the docs hours to pick out cactus rocks and other imbedded debri. Oh to be young again.  We were so invincible.

I rode a street bike when I was 22, a Suziki 550GS low slinger, 6 gears, it was a rocket. Until a cadillac pulled out in front of me , I broad sided him at 60 mph. Witnesses said I flew 30 ft and came down on my head like a rag doll, slid another 40ft on my face, thank God I had a full face helmet on or I would still be drinking through a straw, with half my face left on the pavement. Finally slammed into a curb left knee first and all forward motion had stopped. I was layed up for six months. I can still hear someone opening my visor and the sound of it snapping. They thought I was dead. Bizzare.  Have not rode a street bike since July 3, 1984, only quads and dirt bikes on occasion.  As Clint Eastwood said, a man has got to know his limitations.

I pray for a quick and speedy recovery for you and I will even be the first offer a lie, if it will comfort you. " Oh no.. you will never regain the tolerance you had unless you choose to abuse the meds again"  You certainly have a definite need for meds, with the knowledge you have aqquired in the last months, you will know when your abusing.  Be Careful!!  You have helped many people on this board, would hate to see your posts stop.
I am off to an NA meeting.  So take it easy and be gentle on yourself.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[FINISHED!!]

I just read my original question & post...then yours. I'm REALLY curious where you came up with the interpretations that you've voiced? Where EXACTLY did I ask how much I can take? Where exactly did I ask permission to take them? Where exactly did I ask if I should take them or not? Where exactly did I ask if I'd become addicted once again? You have read that post SO SO wrong dear Lady. Maybe you should take another look at it & see if you can answer the above questions. People come here daily & talk about subjects such as calling in their own scripts, doc hopping, faking injury etc. I simply felt that my stating the meds I had on hand was VERY relevant to the question that many would have regarding a possible relapse. SOME can abuse their meds such as I did for 2 years & still come out on the other side & maintain a healthy pain management schedule. I'm TRULY SORRY if the spoken words of pills alone can cause a relapse in some but after all...this is what this forum is ALL ABOUT...Drugs, abuse, management, pain, addicts, feelings, questions, recovery & most of all...personal experiences & PEOPLE. Please look at my post again & see if you can possibly form a well supported remark. Again, to those that are offended by my medication...I'M SORRY. To those that are offended by my words...pass my posts without glance or comment.

FINISHED!!

[hippy]

hey , i hope your getting better
with the leg and all.
i soory that you got a post like the one from
ladylamp.
maybe she means well, it is a good idea to keep
our minds on recovery, but this fourm is also for people in
chronic pain who struggle with takeing meds and pills.
this is not a fourm based on complete abstenence like
a 12 step fellowship.
i thought your post question was fine, like i said i hope lady lamp is just mistaken in her judgement.
we are here to support each other and finished you
have a pretty tough situation, i would hope that some people would be more understanding, you might want to post the situation so they might understand where you are coming from.

peace your freind hippy////michael
i hope you get well soon.
you are a great part of this support
fourm.

[FINISHED!!]

Thank you for the lie & kind words. I appreciate your post more than I could type at this point...so THANK YOU!!!

FINISHED!!

[g.g.]

You are a wonderful person. And I enjoy reading all of your posts. So dont you let ANYONE bother you. She obviously has a deeper rooted problem and you just happened to be the one that took the blunt end of it. We all get testy from time to time but we need to learn to not take it out on others. So hopefully Lady will learn this in time. We all have cravings but to blame you for it I dont know where shes coming from.. I hope your feeling better soon. And good luck with your up coming surgery. Take care my friend..          g.g.

[rodewc]

Some have a severe Anger problem.. DUH.. "poor poor pitiful me" OR " you can't possibly be as good as I"  (syndrome) yada.. yada.. yada.. This is a typical "user's lament" ( IE: No One has traveled the same road(s) as I )

Soooooo "to call names"... "is to", similarly, "call the kettle black", said the POT..

YIKES..

POT is a drug..

Annnyhoo.. LadyLamp. I bet I am older and wiser than  you and FINISHED! combined (not that that's important, but definitely notable)

HOW IMMATURE... And, to loosely quote you (Lamp) " I, and "some others" ( GAG ME W/ A SPOON... "some OTHERS"????) have been discussing your pill stash" and... Are you kidding me? OMG.

Give Us a Break. Cite The Bible. Cite Personal Experience. But, do NOT attack another person ( a PESRON, a human ).. much less attacking a human (FINISHED!) in a quest for sobriety. That sickens me, as well as conceivably/possibly turning off (turning away) possibly one NEW forum member in a desire to conquier pills. Someone who came here for pill addiction help has been so overwhelmed by you inane post, Lamp, THAT HE HAS LEFT.. FRUSTRATED. Sad, and likely true. Sigh.

Regardless of what one uses to assist his journey to the clean life, PLEASE.. respect it.. or ignore it. To damn someone, or to form unsubstantiated judgments (note spelling of 'judgments, FINISHED!!.. sorry, I happen to be a Grammar, Nazi).. anyway, to form UNSUBSTANTIATED opinions smacks of linear thinking. Global thinking is what survivalists need. Global thinking, kindness, and experiences. Your post was unacceptable. Period.

Regardless, LadyLamp.. tho I am angrily reacting to your Lambast, I apologize. I am also still using, so I will blame my anger at your unjustified "gossipy" post on that. I will, not, however, Ever.. Ever.. blame my use on ANYone but myself.. myself and the demons I have come to call---> the committee in my brain, or maybe what Used to be my brain.

You owe me, FINISHED!, and anyone else whho bothered to read that petty diatribe an apology.

~~

[DawnInMI]

I've never posted here before, but I've been reading the posts for about 8 mths.  I decided to finally post after reading the recent verbal attacks towards FINISHED! I'm 33 years old and have had severe Rheumatoid Arthritis since the age of 6.  I've had 14 operations, including...both hips replaced twice, a knee replacement, both wrists replaced, all the knuckles on my right hand, several smaller joints in both hands, both feet to try to repair some of the damage caused by Arthritis.  In 1995, 2 mths after the revision on my right hip, I fell and broke my femur in my right leg.  They operated to set the break (inserting a titanium plate along my femur) and to try to put the prosthetic back in place.  Unfortunately, the Dr. didn't catch the fact that my knee was also broken...so while the femur healed alright, the fact that my knee was broken caused my leg to kind of curve outward.  Over the past few years the prosthesis began to shift...the stem of it is now either pushing against the bone on the side of my leg or it has already broken through the bone and pushing against the metal plate.  They can't tell from the x-rays or the bone scan. The surgery I'll need to 'fix' my leg isn't very promising.  They'll have to remove all the hardware (which is a lot) rebreak my leg, set it, then replace the prosthetic hip.  Everytime you have a joint replacement, you're at greater risk for infection, more blood loss and more loss of bone.  I've seen 3 Dr's and they all feel that I have a good chance of losing my leg because my bones just arent strong enough anymore.  
So...my reason for posting.  I've been on Vicodin ES for about 10 years.  I've always gotten them legally, but I don't always take the prescribed amount, therefore I usually run out a week or so before I can refill.  The directions say 1 every 4 to 6 hours..well, 1 just doesnt cut it anymore.  More times than not I take 2 because the pain gets to be too much.
I've been reading all the posts, especially FINISHED! and I admire him a great deal.  I completely understand the kind of pain he's in and I know the amount of meds he's taking isn't doing a whole lot, so it's basically grin and bare it.  I can't understand how anybody would even think to write a bad word about this man.  He doesnt know me but he's helped me through many nights when I was out of meds and didnt think I'd be able to make it.  So, a big thank you to FINISHED! and several of the others here like Suzie, Rex, Hippie and JEW.  You guys help more people than you know.
God bless, Dawn

[lisabet]

Hey FINISHED - you definitely didn't deserve that acidy post from ladymp72.  (PMS, my lady?)   Lisabet

[lisabet]

FINISHED - you didn't deserve the acidy post of ladymp72.  
(Ummmm...PMS, my lady?)   Lisabet

[lisabet]

oops - sorry for the double post!

[oxic]

Okay, okay Lady made a mistake....and probably knew it after she posted it. Agreed Finished didn't deserve it; but come on.....what are we accomplishing beating up Lady now.  She probably posted it, still withdrawaling/craving, and generally just felt weak. Finished responded, most eloquantly anyways, so can't we forgive her???
As angry as we are, we still don't want to drive someone away, and give them another excuse to pick up.

Take Care All

Percs

[Bungee7]

Wow! I havent been posting or reading here much because of some recent going-ons. After reading the attacks on poor finished I am appalled at what has become of medhelp. This isn't a place to ridicule, or talk about other people's post and what you don't like about them. Lady--If you do not like what somebody says, why don't you skip that post? I do! Anyway, now I know why I don't come here as often. People need to stop and think...this is a place to help one another not bash on another. I am so glad I am now part of a forum that is understanding, friendly and most of all helpful...if you guys are reading this(which i'm sure you are:)I am so thankful for you, I consider all of you friends(you know who you are)so thanks for inviting me to your world. Enough said!

-Anthony

[lisabet]

Hey Percs - how you doing?  I read your post in the underlying thread, and I agree with you - when there's an argument between members, it's best to stay out of it, and believe me, I always do - I actually hate confrontation. But in the case of FINISHED, it just seemed like he got "***** slapped" out of left field without any provocation.  Guess it just brought out the "mama bear" in me, as I like FINISHED and didn't think he deserved such a mean spirited reaction. Shouldn't have reacted with my own "bitchy" comment...smile.  Take care, Love ya, Lisabet

[g.g.]

Anybody else notice that since Rex, B`Belt,& J>E>W> got banned all hell has broken out on this forum. Sure seems coincdental to me!!!!!       g.g.

[oxydetox pete]

I wouldnt have replied, just reading, but the motocross snagged me in just like the cotton's.
I grew up riding racing, and yes crashing my bikes CR80's, KX 80, and just like toloance build moved up to the CR250. Had apretty bad crash when I was about 13-14 went over a huge jump (loved air time)and came down over the bars and head first into the ground, well compressed my spine coulnt move my neck for a few weeks ect, but was probly riding the next day anyway.
Only every been addicted to 3 things motocross, mountain biking and Oxycontin. Back was allways bad after that but kept riding until about 3 years ago when I started gettting really bad lower back pain, heniated discs, pinched nerves the hole shabang. Started out on perc's and they worked fine for 2 months, then my doc moves me to the oxy 10 then 20 then 40 then the big 80's 3 day then 6 then 9 you know the deal. Then one day she moves on and next doc I get says no deal you bad boy time for detox. I was scared shittless about feeling the back pain come back but never having any previous narc W/D expecting shear hell.
750mg oxycodone to 750mg tylonol.
I was one them for 3 years and did pretty good with them till the last 6 months, just kinda lost it chewed & snorted. Ive been real foggy for the last 6 months, its a wonder I held my job.
anyway going through withdrawl was a piece o cake, ive had flu's way worse than that, the back pain has been unbearable though. I made it 6 days and my wife finally gave me 2 percs becuase she felt sorry for me, not from the W/D cause she wanted me off the contin (was changing me to much), but for my back. 750mg of Ocycodone/day to 10mg in a week. the back feel great again, and I woulnt feel bad about doing it all over again, probably leave out that last jump (not the cottons though).  Anyway I believe if your in pain take the meds, lifes to short to live on a couch. I can roll around on the floor in pain or take 1 little pill and feel like a human and go hard core biking.
Chronic Pain Pete

[oxic]

Hey Lisabet, always good to see you here!!
Well, it's all natural, with all the emotions flowing at extreme levels....with whats gone on the last few days.

I've witnessed some pretty incredible stuff here over the last half a year; and when someone hacked into peoples' passwords , and caused all kinds of mayhem(THAT IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR), about 2-3 months ago, I thought there was NO WAY this place would recover. But you know what it did, and continued helping people by showing them a "glimmer" of hope. It seems every couple months, something seemingly "forum-ending" plays out; but as long as people keep trying to pass on some hope, this place will keep regenerating itself.
Admittedly, when these things occur, I kind of hold my breath, and hope they won't just pull this addiction forum altogether.
If you look at all the other forums that MedHelp has, this one  represents a fairly small percentage(with respect to hits).

I hope you are well my friend!

Percs

[HarleyCat]

in pain, typing one hand:  you are right, since we lost three of the most wonderful, calming influences on this forum, the caring isn't flowing quite so freely.  I think if everyone just was themselves, warts and all, things would go smoother.  We are here because this is our "safe place."  This is where we can go to ask those questions we are afraid to ask anywhere else.  (I got a liitle passionate there and started using both hands.)  if we concentrated on peace, harmony, balance...love, we will all get through this ... together.

Love you, Michelle.  You will be ok, hon.  Addicts are very forgiving, because we know we aren't perfect.

Vics husband--i didn't know i was an addict until i came here on a search.  I must have had some idea, my search was "symptoms of hydrocodone addiction"

FINISHED!  you will be ok.  You need more pain meds because they keep tightening, messing arund with those rods.  DUH!!  If they left you alone, the pain would diminish.  You'll see after surgery, my friend.  

I ride a Harley 1990 FXLR

Connie

[saveyourself]

Greetings,

percs- good post.  I hope all is well with you.  I woke up at 3am for the fist time in weeks. I hate that, my kids and wife will get up at 6 or 7am and I will be sleep deprived for the rest of the day.  Poor me, at least I am not making the sacrifces that so many military men and women are, so what if I missed a night of sleep.  Lack of sleep hasn't killed anybody I know, the alternative sure has.  I got a question for you, my doc gave these samples of ultracet and assured me they were non narcotic and non addictive. I took 2 a day for three days and I did not like them, so I stopped.  However, the last four days I have had WD symptoms, nothing major but sure noticable.  If you or anyone else has an opinion on this let me know.  Take Care, Brother.

To All- I to have been amazed at the shift of attiude here at this forum, I agree with oxic that it will work it self out.  People who have to take meds legitamately should not be flamed or insulted, nor those seeking total abstinance thruogh various support groups. We have enough of that in the real world.  If your new, welcome, this forum and it's people were instrumental in getting me through the worst WD of my life.  Some were more helpful than others.

So read,use the wisdom of those who have gone through what you now must do to get the gorilla off your back and post what is going on without the worry of judgement.  Take what helps you and leave the rest in the cyberspace controversy room. Only 10 years ago this kind of forum and help for the addicted did not even exist. It was either read a book, go to treatment or a 12 step program or continue the hell of using abusively.  Med help is providing an opportunity to the addicted, without having money as their main focus.  God Bless them for that. Well now it's 5am and I am going to try and get some shut eye.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[ladymp72]

Thanks guys for all the support, you have successfully gotten rid of me. Oh and Rodhead it is ladymp not LAMP.

[bmac]

Goodbye !

[ladymp72]

Goodbye to u to :(

[minime]

Why are you here all of a sudden.  Do you just come here to try to get people angry?  All of your comments seem to just be plain old mean.  Why don't you just go back to wherever you came from.  There is enough pain here without your remarks.  Can't you see that?  I cannot believe the stuff you've written.  It is truly pathetic.

[oxic]

Morning Greg!

Typical, I've heard that comment so many times(non narcotic and Non addictive); YEH RIGHT.....Tramadol(Ultam) has the same affinity for opiate receptors.  Be very careful with this one!!!

I've read numerous people have worse w/d's from Tramadol than vikes for example.  You have come waaaaayyyy to far for this type of setback!!

Take Care

[oxic]

...that would be (Ultram); it's early here....

[saveyourself]

Greetings,

Thanks for the response, yeah I knew after the second day something was up.  But being the good addict i am, I tried it one more day and then stopped, flushed them and had four days of minor WD symptoms.

You know I have pain I can live with, my heart goes out to the people who cross the line of addiction, yet, their legitamate pain necessates the use of opiates to control the pain.  For me, I can't take anything the messes with those brain receptors, they are like a computer program and immediately recognize and go into immediate reaction. Being an addict in the recovery processes has it's blessings and challenges.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[peaz]

Hey! You can make all the excuses you want , but we all know it's the Canadian thang, not time of day that is your problem......:-)  But I won't tell anyone. Peazy

[pillpopper]

hello, this is my first time posting but I've been reading the comments since monday. I stopped taking hydro on sunday this is day six for me and today feels just as bad as day 1. I had a few good days on tues and wed. I wasn't expecting the wd symptoms to get worse as the week went on. From what I read on here it seems that the worst is 1-4. Its especially bad at night. How many more days should I expect to feel like this. I can't take all the cramping and nausea and skin crawling feelings for much longer. Last night I was in the hot tub for 3 hours. Like many of you I have real pain on top of this.

[suzieneedshelp]

Hope u r using the Thomas recipe to ease your withdrawal symptoms.  It is posted here several times but let us know if u need it agin.    It realy depends on qut u r withdrawing from and how long u have been addicted  how long and strong yur symptoms last.  the physical ones up to a couple of weeks and the mental emotional depression and maliase for much longer.  Also if u have real pain, yur natural pain receptors are messed up by the opiate use and so u have littel of your bodies natural abilities to fight/ cope with pain.  For me .. now i have my headaches every day for over 10 days and i am really suffering badly.  
Peace to your courageous soul!
You can do this!
Suzie

[minime]

Like you my withdrawal symptoms seem to last and last.  Even after a week I am still feel like it's day 2.  I think it depends on how much you were using and for how long.  No one can tell you how long you will feel this way.  There is no magic number.  However you can do things to make yourself feel better.  Subutex is the new Buprenorphine drug that you could get prescribed to help withdrawal.  If you do a search for Subutex, physician locator you'll probably be able to find one in your area. An antidepressant like Wellbutrin might be needed for the first few months until your brain gets back to normal.  Wellbutrin is a good one because it helps with the cravings.  Vitamin B and L-Tyrosine are supposed to help.  I think amino acids are good too.

Like you said long baths and the basic T.L.C. stuff helps, but it is so miserable isn't it?  The lethargy and sweating is what really bothers me.  At night I will soak right through my pajamas and it is so gross.  They are like long hot flashes.

Praying and surrendering your control helps too.  I won't go off on this big religious thing or anything but I let God back into my life recently and it made a big difference.

Good luck to you and keep writing if it helps you.  There are many here willing to help.

[ladymp72]

I am not mean just speaking the truth whether some people don't want to hear it I am sorry. I am not the only one that feels the way I do, when I spoke to these other people on here we decided that I will be the one to post and they said I did a very good job and they have wanted to say something for some time however they were too afraid. No I will not go back to where I came from, I came from the same place all of you have and have no intentions on returning. Sometimes the truth hurts but I was speaking my opinion and from what I understand we can do that. You all can put me down all you want I have realized from the time I was no longer just a shadow I have not been treated the way most are treated on this forumn. When I get to ask a question every single time there is a comment saying please save these for people that are truly having withdrawels or battling addiction. Does that mean that I am not and my questions are not as important as others? If you look back at some threads u will see what I am talking about. I am an addict and feel my questions I post are very important to me so for someone to critisize and belittle them that in itself is wrong!

[pillpopper]

thank you so much for reply. I cannot express enough how comforting it is to know that there are so many other people out there going through the same stuff.

[g.g.]

I dont think everyone was attacking you.FINISHED!! is going through what I am sure NO ONE would want to and he is in alot of pain and as an admitted addict he is very concerned about abusing his meds. So for anyone to say that he is always talking about them,he has just as much rigt to seek answers as we do. If his post bother you DONT READ THEM!! But dont you quit posting.You have just as much right as everyone too..We have to stop and think before we post otherwise we do so from our emotions which most of the time gets us into trouble.So you take care...              g.g.

[minime]

I am unwilling and uninterested in getting into it with anyone online anywhere.  It just isn't important enough for me to lose my cool about.

That being said, it looks like you have a chip on your shoulder about more than FINISHED.  Also, where are all your friends that talked you into posting those mean words?  I don't see that anyone has your back.  Where are all these people and why don't they speak up in your defense.

We can only blame ourselves for our posts.  FINISHED posts about addiction and the behaviors that go along with addition.  That is very appropriate for this forum.  Flaming people isn't.

[rodewc]

I am not unwilling to "get into it" Lady, take a look at what You yourself have written: (including the statement that you were leaving this forum) It is not I who care, but I see sense in the previous posts.. Who Does Have Your Back. STOP w/ the accusations, esp against a genuine soul like FINISHED! My God! You are the epitomy of Paranoia:)) LOL.. I will read you w/ gusto, as I do the others, when you Get Honest. Lady, trying to con me is a no win situation. I am used to liars and con artists. That's what addicts are. Don't try and pull that here. It doesn't fly. The following are all CUT/PASTES.. from YOU, ladylamp (i do not call you LADY in disrespect.. as you chose to call me.. "rodhead" I believe it was?

PASTE: (Ladylamp)

Jan. 22: "however I think my
                                                              addiction to calling in prescriptions is part of the problem. The rush that I
                                                              receive knowing I pulled one over on someone is kind of like a high. I
understand I did get caught in 2001 and was let off pretty easy. I
                                                              kind of miss doing it (I have been clean one month yesterday)yeahh!! I
                                                              guess in a way I wish they did not make it so easy for us junkies to be
                                                              able to do this. I have been staying with my sister and she has been a
                                                              great help to me. She holds on to every penny I have and monitors my
                                                              phone calls. It sometimes feel childish but I know that she is doing it for
                                                              my own good. I get mad about it sometimes but I know I have put myself
                                                              here, so even if I called one in I could not pick it up hell I can't even call
                                                              it in no way to use the phone without my spies.
….                                                              lloking at everyones comments I feel somewhat ignored since u did not
                                                              bother to read a few posts down from me. Thanks for wanting to know if
                                                              I quit and so on but it has been done.
. I found that calling thses in under kids names I
                                                              had a lot of success since they don't ask for id on controlled substances
                                                              when they are under 18. I would drink the equivelant of 45 vikes a day.
                                                              The only good thing I can say is there was not any tylenol in it so my
                                                              liver was kind of safe. People look at me crazy when I say cough syrup
                                                              but what they don't realize is there are syrups out there that are
                                                              actually a lot stronger than pain pills…calling in the scripts but u are
                                                              right it was something that amazed other people that I could do so well.
                                                              Even when I told them how very few could do it…I have yahoo IM it is ladymp72 if u would like to chat that way….





Jan 23: . I am sorry for being so
                                                                nasty yesterday I guess just in a bad mood and wanted to talk to you
                                                                all like I see you interacting with each all of the time. Thankfully I
                                                                always used fake names I had to always pay full price for the script but
                                                                in the long run I now see that was good not to use insurance and real
                                                                names


Feb 3: Thanks guys for all the support, you have successfully gotten rid of me.
                                                             Oh and Rodhead it is ladymp not LAMP.

Feb 3: I am not mean just speaking the truth whether some people don't want to
                                                             hear it I am sorry. I am not the only one that feels the way I do, when I
                                                             spoke to these other people on here we decided that I will be the one to
                                                             post and they said I did a very good job and they have wanted to say
                                                             something for some time however they were too afraid. No I will not go
                                                             back to where I came from, I came from the same place all of you have
                                                             and have no intentions on returning. Sometimes the truth hurts but I was
                                                             speaking my opinion and from what I understand we can do that. You all
                                                             can put me down all you want I have realized from the time I was no
                                                             longer just a shadow I have not been treated the way most are treated on
                                                             this forumn….. Does that mean that I am not and my
                                                             questions are not as important as others? If you look back at some threads
                                                             u will see what I am talking about. I am an addict and feel my questions I
                                                             post are very important to me so for someone to critisize and belittle them
                                                             that in itself is wrong!… Well today I actually got
                                                              to post a question and you know what feel let down. Is it some secret
                                                              pact you have that I am missing? Well I just wanted some advice on a
                                                              question and instead all I got was "stop doing that" "don't do it" "don't
                                                              call them in you will go to jail". Well don't you all think I know that (that
                                                              is why I am not doing it anymore) I simply asked the question of what
                                                              things can I do when my brain starts thinking this way? I got one answer
                                                              and thank you for that. However I am sad to think that no one here
                                                              wants to help me with it? Maybe it is not a valid problem who knows. All I
                                                              know is you all gave me answers to something I fixed a month ago.
                                                              Thanks and how do I become someone on this forumn that you all
                                                              actually give a damn about….

Jan 23: Why
                                                              go from doc to doc when in a matter a 2 minutes u have what u need at
                                                              the pharmacy. Also I usually never used my real name. I would call them
                                                              in under fake kids names and that way they woudl never id me. You know
                                                              the little sign that says we id on all controlled substances. Well if the
                                                              person is under 18 that does not happen….But I am thinking
                                                              that maybe since I used fake everything there is really no way for them
                                                              to trace it back to me…"


^^ Above courtesy of LADYLAMP72^^


END PASTE

[ladymp72]

And your point being? No chip on this shoulder. Also the people are here however like I said they were to scared to speak up, but I am not. Can you blame them look at all the wonderful posts today. There are some nice people on here, however I don't talk to them via this forumn we have other ways of chatting and helping one another, and if you did not like my post about finished then YOU could have skipped it as well. No one has anything better to do today then continually rag me about my post-get on with your life and forget about it! And Minime if you did not want to get into it like you yourself said then you would not have posted the last message. I was going to leave the forumn for good and then decided why should I? I spoke what I felt just as many others do so I have as much right as anyone to be here unless they boot me as well!

[suzieneedshelp]

The point of this forum.. and Phil, Cindi plz correct me if i am wrong!  Is to expres ourselves and get help and advice about our experiences with additionc period.  It does not matter at what point we are in recovery or if we use or if we have been clean for 25 years!  WE should not enable one another by offering supplier info.  Other wise no one should judge another or wut they have to say as long as it is true and not flaming another!
Plz people be respectful and allow the freedom here that is soo necessary for anyone to feel they can be honest about hwo they are feeling no matter wut or how horrid and to be able to express wut they have done to support their habit no matter how horrid or how illegal!
This place it the destination where truth meets reality and calls us home to sobriety and hope for a real life!
Peace!
Suzie

[mrmichael67]

Just so you know, this has all been going on LONG before those three left.  It's a shame too as they were only here a matter of months.  Like I have said previously, I can't comment on that because I am not fully aware of the situation.  I have been away from here for the exact reason you are upset.  If you are here long enough, you will see for yourself the pattern that exists.

[mrmichael67]

Sorry though, this thread has nothing to do with the pattern I was mentioning.  But hippy is right, why gang up?  That is directed at those who are.

[hippy]

i posted to finished after you and i said i thought you probly ment well. and that we should try to stay focoused on recovery.
i mentioned that you probly not aware of finished
severe injuries and severe pain, and if you knew his situation you might have a different take .
so right off the bat there was support for you .

peace !!!!!!!!!!hippy
lets move on with kindness and understanding

[Bubblesh]

Ok...let me start out by saying...this forum is for help and not for lashing out.  You guys and gals might wonder who the hell I am...I am LADYMP's sister.  I have been reading postings for a while now.  Being that I am a total sober person (no put down to anyone on here), I believe I see alot more into these postings then others.  First off...a week or so ago my sister posted a question about cravings...did she get help and support?  Yes, but only from a few people, the few that weren't lashing out at her at that time.  I only saw about once or twice someone coming to her defense about the rudeness that she was experiencing...and that was only after she posted a message about feeling ignored and that people were in a certain "group" and she felt left out.  This is not a pity cry to anyone on my sisters behalf but I do understand what she is saying in her post to you...FINISHED!  I would like to point out a few things...in the first post you mentioned you don't take more then the 4 pills within a day which is less then the recommended dosage.  Then in a second post you mention again (problem with repeating yourself it seems) that you don't take more then 3 pills a day...which is it, 3 or 4 or can you not remember?  I could sit here like other people and copy and paste everyone's messages and point out the obvious but some people have more tactful ways of going about things...I can simply say...LOOK AT YOUR PAST POSTINGS!  Another thing...MINIME, why are you wasting your time lashing out at her?  You can once again pass her posts as you have suggested...you don't have the time to get involved but you did.  LADYMP (Not Lamp or any other ridiculous name people decide to call her to try and be "Funny") does not have people backing her up on these posts because she has more dignity for people then telling their names so you "recovering" drug addicts can lash out at them too.  She knew she would get hell but you know what...that is what forums are for...speaking your mind which it seems everyone has no problem doing except you do not let her do it.  Are people only allowed to speak their minds if their nice and sugarcoat everything?  Another thing...you can say she is going through withdrawals and just giving people **** because of that..but my sister just had a drug test (she has to do this monthly) and it came back negative...negative for everything.  I am sorry but I think that is a big accomplishment and people should be proud of her instead of the lashing out and being nasty.  You want her to leave the forum..what for?  Isn't this a public place and isn't this a freedom of speech issue?  She has 41 days clean....do any of you or are the lashing out people lower then that?  Plus...it doesn't matter how old you are or how many drugs you have taken in your lifetime...it is about getting help and trying to help one another.  Personally I would hate to constantly hear about the drugs people have in their house right now and blah blah blah.  Seems to me that is all you are thinking about.  If you are able to take those pills without being an addict again then why aren't you taking the recommended dosage since you are in such "severe" pain?  Another thing...this forum is not a forum for people in pain from surgery...it is a forum for people in pain from ADDICTION.  I do not mean to be rude to anyone...trust me, I am one of the nicest people you can meet but I am a person that will stand up for my family and my beliefs and I do believe a lot of you were mean and nasty.  I don't think she should regret one word from her posting earlier (like many of you said she probably did regret it)...she said what was on her mind and coming from someone that does not think of drugs I think it was a very sensible and logical post.  If any of you would like to chat you can email me at ***@**** or post here.  It will not offend me if you lash out at me but I will also talk to you and give you help and support if needed.  I do believe I am helping my sister and I hope everyone out there has someone helping them also.  To all of you that supported and didn't lash out at her...you are much appreciated.

[mrmichael67]

First, I did stand up for your sister.  But, there are people who are in chronic pain and have addiction issues as well.  Many started using the opiates from injury or surgery in the first place.  Chronic pain and addiction issues very much go hand in hand for many.  I do respect you standing up for your sister, but please don't tell us what this board is for.  Other than that, it was a good post.

[Bubblesh]

I agree with you too about it being a good post.  By you telling me "Don't tell us what this forum is for" then it should go the same way as to "don't tell her that she is going through withdrawals, and she should leave the forum, then people saying things like why is she back on the forum, etc".  It seems to me that alot of people on here are hypocrites when it comes to other people being new on the forum.  My opinion is my opinion only just like everyone else has there own opinion.

And...people were saying she was going through "Withdrawals" and that is why she was "mean".  No she is not going through withdrawals but she does have the Cravings which I am sure everyone else on this forum (if they really are recovering) is going through also.  If someone was in a room for diabetics...would you talk all the time about chocolate cakes?  No, that would be a slap in their face and unfair to do.  Someone would do that if they were "mean" and wanted to taunt the diabetics...which in my opinion is the same for this room.  You shouldn't constantly talk about the quantity of pills, etc. you have to a room of recovering addicts.  I can understand having surgery and being in pain but then why aren't they talking in a surgery room where other surgery people would understand more and not have such a problem hearing about all the pills and drugs that they need?

Just a little food for your thoughts and cravings.

[A-Factor]

Are you sure the meds you were prescribed were Oxycodone?  Because you said they gave you a refill, which isn't legal.  No schedule 2 narcotics can be given any refills.  Does your bottle read "one refill?"  Or maybe the doctor is just stupid and doesn't know the laws.  I hate docs like that.  Then the customer thinks we're lying to them.

[peaz]

Hi!  You  read a post of mine where I was talking about being a tech, and you posted to me. I answered you, and I was wondering if you ever saw it?  It was in 1966...Well, awhile ago, anyway.  
  So how are you doing? You had talked about leaving a job because of stealing narcs and then moved onto a new one and had resumed your pasttime there and were a little scared.....I'm just hoping you're doin' okay.  I was in the SAME boat for a few years, so if you did miss my post to you, and want to talk,  feel free.
  Although I am not working in a pharmacy now, I am still keeping up my certification, but that is my only contact at this time.
   Hope to hear from you--Peaz

[mrmichael67]

If that is how you feel, then tell the people who wrote it.  I didn't, so most of that last post shouldn't have been addressed to me.  And, I did go back and read, so no copy and paste for me.

[minime]

Until the administrators come in and tell us we cannot talk about pills I think it is a very relevant topic.  I mean we are addicts who are mostly addicted to pills - hello, why wouldn't we talk about pills.  Many of us became addicts because of chronic pain issues, so it makes sense that we would talk about pills.  Believe me being in constant pain and having addiction problems is no easy way to live.  If FINISHED can't talk about it here then I can't think of a place he could talk about it.

If he was constantly talking about getting high, that would be another story but he isn't.  Some people here are contemplating getting clean, some people are already clean, some just check it out and never get clean.  This forum is open to all.  I read the terms and conditions and it doesn't say anywhere that pills cannot be talked about.  It does talk about treating each other respectfully though and that rule has been broken more times than I can count in the past few days.

[bmac]

The past few days? You mean the past few months. We finally agree on something. That's a good thing I think. As far as the arguing, it has been going on a long time before you and me ever came here. I showed up last August and it was going on then. Do you think it might be because of our addictions? It will be going on long after you and me are gone, believe me. And to your comment about me just popping in here, I didn't just pop in two days ago. Like I said I have been here since last August. So I hope in the future if you don't like what I say just ignore it as most of the people that don't like me do. It doesn't offend me that people don't like what I say, for God's sake this is the internet, who cares anyway. So peace to ya and I am sorry for my angry remarks toward you. They were all meant for Hellbent not anyone else, Thanks bmac or BMAC or whatever ! Peace !  

ps And blah blah blah is just a term for I don't really care what people think about what I say, nuff said !

[HarleyCat]

hey sweetie...my hand still hurting.  how are anxiety doing?  i'm worried about you.  all of this turmoil isn't doing you any good, hon.  everyone, please let us treat her (lady) with love and respect.  i am so glad you are there for your sister.  she needs all the love and support she can get.  when she has an anxiety attack or panic attack, please just hold her and talk her thru it.  have her focus on your face or voice.  it is the worst feeling, like you are having a heart attack, you can't breathe, you know for a fact that you are ging to die and you are so scared and alone.  God bless you for all of the help you are providing for you sister.

i do have to tell you that surgery patients are the majority of the people on this forum..surgery, arthritis, headaches, chronic pain.  we didn't set out to get high, but ended up getting high and really, really liking it.  a lot!  unfortunately, when we decide to detox, we still have that underlying pain to deal with.  we do have pills, because we have docs that treat our condition that aren't trained to deal w/addiction issues.  we can't go to n/a because that is a place that is NOT for surgery patients.  this is the first place that i have found that is.  Michelle, you honestly may be better served to go to live NA meetings in your town.  Sis, you really, really should check out Narc-anon.  this disease effects the whole family.  the children should go too if your area has a group geared age appropriate.

Michelle, you know i llove you, honey.  i want you to stay.  i want all of us here to get back to the help and support that attracted me here in the first place.  new people, this really is a place of loving, helpful people.  we have to love each other on our bad days too, let's all remember.  if someone posts something that anyone doesen't like, let's all just pay for that person, send them posts of encouragement, and HELP them thru it that day!!  not flame them or provoke them.

most of us here are also compulsive, kinda goes along with addiction.  compulsive persons have a STRONG need to be right.  let's try asking ourselves "would i rather be right or would i rather be kind" before we post.  we ALL have something valid to say.

Michelle, email me at ***@**** if you want.  you are just as important a part of this community as the next person.  we all have something to learn and something to give.

"Can't we all just get along?"

Connie

[rodewc]

No one has asked you to leave the forum. I read the posts. You said you were leaving this forum. You didn't. No one has bastardized another's nickname/handle, except you and the MM/BMAC crowd. Calling you "lamp" wasn't in disrespect. I didn't do it again. It was an error due to reading the many nicknames here. You, however, did not extend the same courtesy in return. It doesn't matter. I won't be scrolling past anyone's posts, especially not yours. Linear thinking, like the foibles in the comic section of the daily newspaper, are worth perusal.

[u2shibby]

Man I am confused by all this talk on the forum. People find this site to seek help and admit they have a problem. No one has any right including me to judge. We all have problems reading writing spelling. I went thru this page fast and i saw more judgments and stupidity than ever. finished asked a question and somewhere I hope he had the support or answers he was seeking. This forum is what made me realize I had a problem in the first place. I am a recovering addict to vicodin. I am off it now. I have hope for everyone. My friends and family have seen a change in me and they didn't know i was addictied in the first place. They all thought I was depressed for awhile and now the think I AM BACK TO MYSELF those are words of encourgament because I forgot who i was in the first place. so to everyone lets stop pointing fingers and keep helping everyone and whoever that person was picking out grammer and spelling. give it a rest nobody is perfect and lets remember that.  good luck to finished and lady and everyone else who is trying.   PEACE

[FINISHED!!]

Regarding your question whether "I never take more than 3 or 4 pills a day"...If you'd read my posts...then you'd know they said;

"Since DETOX, I've never taken more than 3 vicodin es in a single day. Since the SURGERY, I've never taken more than 4 of the percosets in a single day."

Please have your facts together before accusing me of lying of my intake or misleading anyone. I'd thank you GREATLY for reading & understanding my words thoroughly before questioning the truth in those words.

FINISHED!!

[FINISHED!!]

Regarding your question whether "I never take more than 3 or 4 pills a day"...If you'd read my posts...then you'd know they said;

"Since DETOX, I've never taken more than 3 vicodin es in a single day. Since the SURGERY, I've never taken more than 4 of the percosets in a single day."

Please have your facts together before accusing me of lying of my intake or misleading anyone. I'd thank you GREATLY for reading & understanding my words thoroughly before questioning the truth in those words.

FINISHED!!

[Bubblesh]

I do have my "facts" right...

"I have yet to take more than 4 pills in a single day but that was only for 1 day of severe pain. The prescribed amount was to take 1 or 2 pills every 6 hours."  (Was this before or after detox?)

"I've never taken more than 3 pills in a single day since detox" (so after detox...)

so like I mentioned before...is it 3 or 4?  

You say to please get facts and things right...you must understand.  I am not on here to get at people like I have seen some of the posts do.  All I am saying is treat other forum users the same as you would want to be treated.  I have seen other people put some pretty nasty things on here and no one says anything...my sister says something and it has blown the roof off.

It also seems there are some people on these forums that are real instigators when it comes to arguments (you know who you are).

[minime]

Please please can we get back to getting along here?  It really doesn't matter if someone takes 3 or 4 pills does it?  

We need to forgive each other and ourselves.  I think addicts get so mad at themselves that they take it out on those around them.  We are all struggling to get through today.  Let's make it easier on ourselves and other members.

[Bubblesh]

I am not an addict...

For some odd reason I had this strange feeling you would be the first to post.

[bmac]

Is it Bubblesh or Ladymp today. And does it matter if it's 3 or 4 a day for Finished?   Posting as Bubblesh one time and then posting under another name is one of the reasons this fighting got started in the first place. Please either post as Ladymp or post as Bubblesh, it makes people not trust whichever one you are. Please for our sake choose one and stick with it, Thank You. BMAC

Hey Minime, you sound alot calmer today. Me too, peace!

[Bubblesh]

Look, my sister used my computer yesterday and couldn't get me logged off so she posted as me but started out saying that she was Ladymp so I don't know why you have to try and be a smarty pants thinking she is the same person.  If that was the case and she was the same person with different screen names then anyone could do that...how do we know you aren't someone else?  That is beside the point.  I also do not think that all the bickering and childish behavior yesterday was caused by my sister "supossedly" using different names.  In the other room all I saw was you and others going back and forth cussing at each other...real supportive you and the others are!

[FINISHED!!]

You DO NOT HAVE YOUR FACTS RIGHT.

Please read yet AGAIN.

Since detox, I have never taken more than 3 VICODIN ES...Did you read that? VICODIN ES!!! In a single day.

Since the surgery, I have not taken more than 4 PERCOSETS...Did you read that? PERCOCET!!! In a single day.

Besides the fact that you were just proven wrong, what exactly came of all this? Do you want me tell you that I take pills for a very painful surgery? Already did that. Do you want me to admit that I'm a drug addict? Already did THAT. So tell me Lady or Bubblesh...What would you like to hear from me? I've already said that you were an important part of this forum & I'd be sad to see you go. Why not leave it at that. You had your facts wrong, flew off of the handle for no reason & now it's done. Please leave it at that. If you hate me or my posts so much, why not pass them over? Why read them?

FINISHED!!

[bmac]

OK you said what you wanted to say and I said what I wanted to say so it is over with. I won't post again to you, is that OK with you? Drop it now please.

[Went to far]

Hey that sucks what you said about finished.  He and I are having the same dilema.  I am too in constant pain, nerve damage, broken neck.  It is hard to figure out whether you want to take the meds or not.Not sure if detox is worse, holding back or going through the detox again.  My comment is Who are you to judge others when you are probably in the same boat as us.
Maybe if you knew finished you would understand what he is going through.

[LouAnn]

You were very wise to get rid of the Ultracet.  (Talk about the devil in desguise.)  I had a doctor who gave me samples and countless scripts Ultram.  He said that it was non-addictive.    Right away, I had lots of energy and felt like "superwoman".  Being an addict, I loved that feeling.  Obviously, I had no interest in getting off the pills at that time.  I had run out of places to "doc shop" and finding percocet was becoming a real challenge.  I saw Ultram as the perfect solution, scripts were easy to come by.  Eventually, I ran out of Ultram sources.  The w/d's were hellish - far worse than the ones I had experienced with percocet.  I considered suicide!  Long story, short...When I checked myself into rehab a couple of years later I met three people (chronic pain patients)who were detoxing from Ultram.  Sorry to go on and on, my point is - I made a conscious decision to continue taking/ abusing Ultram, but many people are becoming addicted/dependent on this drug because of ignorant doctors and misleading claims by the pharmaceutical company!!  Ultram/Ultracet should be classified as a controlled substance!

[FINISHED!!]

I would really like to say the following:

First off: Lady, I don't want you to leave. I think your questions, comments & concerns are just as valid & warranted as the next addicts. The only thing I ask is a little tact in how you handle an uncomfortable or unsettling situation. The way in which you posted to me was aggressive & completely tactless. Please understand that I do not, have not & will not talk of my meds to hamper any persons recovery. I had a question about tolerance & tolerance alone. I'm STILL baffled as to where your hostility came from but that's over & done. I just want you to know that I'd REALLY have a problem with you leaving the forum for this reason. You are a valuable member here & this forum would be a lesser place without you.

Secondly: I'd like to thank ALL of the people that came to my defense. It wasn't necessary but GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! It's GREAT to feel that I have made somewhat of an impression on you folks. THANKS TO ALL!!!

Now...Lets get back to the important stuff here.

FINISHED!!

[minime]

Good post and Amen!

[FINISHED!!]

Thank you Mini,
Your posts were very supportive & strengthening for me & I appreciate it GREATLY.

FINISHED!!

[feelsobad]

I think one reason we chase that elusive high long after it forsakes us is that our brains still remember. And in our state of addiction we are just not as rational as we used to be. We become accustomed to the daily "numb" of our life with pills even without the high. Because we know the hell of wd's is just a missed piil away. Thats how it was for me anyway. I was now a machine that ran on opiates as motivation. Every bit of my being revovled around finding, buying, using. I HATED myself. My family sufferd more than I because they could see the good strong father/husband srhinking away. But as you know I was blind to what I had become. ROCK BOTTOM for me came with a pharmacist looking into my souless desperate eyes, pleading to PLEASE fill this one early. She had known me since before oxys. So she knew that she was looking a shadow of this former man. I of course argued some incoherent addict plea, all the reasons I needed them early, accidently spilled them down the sink, dog licked the bottle clean. After I had shut up. She was an angel. She told me she had seen my tirade played out many times right a her window. Her advice was for me to confront my doc, spill my guts about everything. That the med wasn't lasting long enough. Maybe he should try upping my dosage. But that my real problem lays with something inside. She didn't have enough narcotics in the store for what ate at me. Something that I really did not want to hear but I had known a long long time. I was cought up in something so huge that had relegated me to this small pitiful remnant of my self. Well I didn't have any out of body revelation or any thing but I knew AND acceptd my problem inward.
I think some of us have to hit rock bottom and remain there for an uncomfortable amount time before we can appreciate the spark that leads us out of despair and back so a semblence of our live.
As you can probably tell I have been through a very hard fought mental and spirtial battle. I came very close to loosing it a few months back. But that darkness has passed and with the help of my family, my shrink, and most of all you folks here who treat each other like extended family and truly understand.
Ours is a most complicated and misunderstood sickness. But with the intelligent people on this forum some awareness has GOT to prevail. We are not the unfortunate , downtrodden miscreant, under the overpass. But we share a common thread. The total out of control, life absorbing, health debilitating , search and use of narcotics. Be we teachers, stay at home moms, butchers, engineers, bus drivers or ER doc.
We can ,slowly change our pcyche back to a more familiar "me". But it will take the help of everyone on this board having a little humility with each other. We are one of the very best assets and knowledgeable resourses we have becuse our docs only listen. We "know" each others experience on this road.

STAG27/Everyone,  Sorry for soap boxing, but I have about 10-12 years of fog to clear away, it's frieghtening to wake after that long and not know who the hell you are.

feelsobad

[Bubblesh]

Oh My gosh...PATHETIC, PATHETIC, PATHETIC!  Same goes for every single person...pass over comments if not liked.  How is she wanted on here...please no one except a few people have ever talked to her becuase this whole freaking place has a bunch of "groups"...you got the "mean" group, the "nice" group, the "I will say whatever makes other people happy" group, etc., etc., etc.  Other people email her because they don't like what goes on here.  It seems more of a forum that needs to deal with anger management then drug addiction.  I won't take your hostility personal though...you must be going through withdrawals (just as everyone said about her) so I am sure you didn't mean what you said and would probably take it back yada yada yada...kind of sucks having other people tell you want you think or mean, huh?  If people wanted her to stay and stuff you have a funny way of showing it...first off...why when she first got to post a question, someone's reply was "save the questions for people with real problems"...let me see, I don't believe anyone said, oh that was bad, that was mean, you shouldn't have been so hard on her, oh slap your little hand, blah blah blah.  

Remember....control the anger everyone...this is about addiction not anger management.

[Bubblesh]

That is fine with me...

[FINISHED!!]

You know...I'm done with you. You're obviously an uneducated person & your answer to everything has been hostility. You've been commended for defending your sister...hostility. Your sister was told she would be missed if she chose to leave...more hostility. You're corrected in your assumptions & interpretations...more hostility. You've resulted to accusations, censless bickering & NAME CALLING. Calling me pathetic shows your level of senselessness & maturity. If your sister would sit back & think for a minute, I was one of the few that apologized for the lack of concern regarding her previous problem with calling in her own scripts. But that's niether here nor there. The fact of the matter is this; You & your sister have brought a tremendous amount of unneccessary hostilty & disruption to this forum. If Ladymp is SO unhappy with this place, then maybe she SHOULD leave. She is offering no help when lashing out at a member because he has pills & she doesn't. As for you little sister, you have NO RIGHT saying a single word about our addictions or how we act as addicts in this forum. We ALL KNOW that you're better than us because you are, after all clean & sober & have never been addicted...right? Keep your comments to yourself from this point on if you care even a little about us poor little drug addicted people...remember... your sister is one of us now...& always will be.

FINISHED!!

[feelsobad]

Enough already! By sidstepping into these petty "unresovable" tiffs we are missing some new questions and new members that could use guidance. What you have thoght if this was the shape and shambles of this forum when we first ever needed to use it.
I myself have only very recently finally started to write after lurking for months. And I must say I have never seen such vile behavior. I guess I should know better because as addicts we can be emotional and irrational over absolutely nothing.

Lets all take a deep breath and gather our senses and remember why we are comming to this site in the first place.

Someone out there may having rough recovery day and needs coherent advice. Just to express. Just to feel that they still belong somewhere, anywhere. This place,  more than any other treatment I have sought out, made me realize I had found an addict in needs answered prayer. Nowhere will you find experienced people like ourselves that have answers to even the most obscure wd symptom acute, post or looong term.
We are all at differing stages of this decease. Hell, I have symptoms of 80 yr old in nursing home patient that definitly were not there before oxy's. I have aged so damned fast these past few months. I have been clean since Aug.1, 2002 and I still wait for the day to get better. Maybe not ever back to the exact same emotionlly, but some semblence.
So we all have problems that that need addressing on this forum. Please, lets just leave the petty B.S. in your chair.
I am sorry. I have not been around "visibllly" until yesterday. I just can't help but comment on how far downhill things have since the Banning. Hopefully our emotions will settle back to what we consider normal.

feelsobad

[Bubblesh]

I have never called anyone names have I...get the facts straight as you always say.  I was referring to this situation as pathetic not you.  As far as I can see it is you that keeps calling yourself names not me.  I never called you a poor little drug addicted person.  I don't know why my opinion is so struck but yours isn't.  I never once said I was better then you or any other person on this forum.  I don't think I am...I may be better in some aspects but I am sure you and everyone else on here are still better then me in other aspects as well.  You said I am showing you my senselessness & maturity and that I am uneducated?  Who is name calling????  The only name I have ever called you is FINISHED...isn't that your handle or was I bad for calling you that?  And I am sorry but I do have every right to talk in this forum as well because I live with an addict and I may not personally be one but I do know what they go through so maybe you should keep the hostility down a little.  I told you before I never meant anything in disrespect but you have taken it that way just like you took hers that way.

[u2shibby]

Whats up everyone. This page is rather confusing is this about addiction or whos right and whos wrong. I am trying to bring peace to all and that is the only reason I contiue to check this colum so please everyone quit pointing fingers and lets find the questions and answers we need thank you everyone and good luck to all. If you have any questions on getting off vicoden I'll tell my story.  Finshed I wish u good luck and I beleve that your tolerance to the pills will increse because of the preavious addiction. I wish u luck and i think u are a strong person to be recovering and still have pills in your hands.  good job and keep up the strength. I don't know if I could have a bottle of vics by me right now.  later

[FINISHED!!]

Point taken.

I APOLOGIZE to every single member here for my behavior. It was a ridiculous "whizzing match" & I should not have been brought to that level. I enjoy being here & as we've recently been shown, it's a privelage that can be taken away.

Ladymp & Bubblesh;

I apologize to you as well. I still have a hard time understanding what problems you have with me being in pain & needing to take medication...& talking about that if I feel the need...but I was VERY WRONG in my way of posting. I feel very hypocritical at this point in some of the things I've said here today. At the same time, I still feel that there was nothing warranting the initial post from you Lady but I'd like to leave that behind us now...if we can.

Everyone;

Again, thanks to those who came to my defense. As I said, most of you know who I am by now & a mean-spirirted or malicous person is not by any means describable of me. I never meant to hurt anyones feelings or recovery in my posting of what meds I MUST take at this point or have on hand. I was not intentionally rubbing a single nose in my medication...if that's how it was perceived by some...then again, I apologize. I'm really ashamed that this sank to the level that it did & I helped it's downward spiral. Let's get back to the "HELP" in MED-HELP.ORG

FINISHED!!

[J. E. W.]

WOW!! Whats up with everyone? P.M.S.?MENOPAUSE?Just to name a couple!! You know what it sounds like? A big family get togeather after a few days! Everyone has to voice their opinion. But the problem is~everyone thinks their right!!! So it goes on and on and on and on. Till finaly everyone goes home to get some peace and quite!! Love you guys!! Hope you ALL have a great day!! They still havent changed my handle so get upset with them not me please I tried..  Bless you all...             J.E.W.                                                          FINISHED!! Hope your doing good. Hope your keeping your pain under control!  Good luck on your next surgery. Will keep praying all goes well!!Take care my friend..    J.E.W.

[Bink]

Wow!  What in the hell did I miss?  I am pretty much just a lurker, but this seems like a different place than last week!!!

What is this about people getting banned?  The three mentioned people were VERY HELPFUL to me.  They were very knowledgeable.  I can't believe it?  What happened?  What rules were broken?   Is is because b'belt talked too much Christianity?   If so, I am now even MORE offended.

What happened?   Does anybody care?

Denise

[J. E. W.]

Yes it was to much expreesion of GOD!! I am back but will not get into how I feel about it. I just want to be able to help people as much as I can. I think We were put here for a reason. and something tried to get rid of us. I hope your doing well my friend.. Take care and Bless you..        J.E.W.

[Bubblesh]

I accept your apology.  I would also like to apologize to you as well.  By no means am I a mean and malicious person as well.  I do understand how upset you might have been but believe me...Lady did not mean anything horrible by the way she said her post.  I believe I overreacted as well but I am sure anyone would stand up for their family if something happened and I am one of those people.  

I would also like to apologize to anyone else that might have been offended by the way Finished and I went back and forth and said some bad things.  (But hey...at least it sure kept everyone entertained for a while huh...LOL)

Anyways...I hope everyone focuses on the real reason this forum is here...to talk about their addictions and the problems they experience.  Even if someone says something you don't agree with or feel if mean...that might not have been their intention but it came out the wrong way.

Even though I am not personally an addict, I do feel sometimes that us people that are living with the addicts have it harder.  It might not be true but just as people would say to me "you don't understand because you aren't an addict" then it kind of goes the other way around too "the addicts don't know cuz you are not the sober one living with the addict".  I do think allowing other people to come into this forum whether they are an addict or not is very valuable and helpful to everyone.

Finished, I do hope your surgeries do go well and that you are not in pain so much.  Have a good day!

Bubblesh

[u2shibby]

good to see everyone is coming together. That is the way it is suppose to be. Bubblesh i am curious what it is like to live with an addict. Let us know a little more so maybe all the addicts can hear what we do to people close to us. Alot of the addicts including me might and probably don't see what we are doing to the people that care about us? It is intresting to know. again thank u everyone for coming together. also one more question? what is this we can not talk about religion?  later and peace is here.

[feelsobad]

WHEWWWW! I am glad things seemed to have been smoothed over. See how confusing it made some posters? Glad they had at least a little background on this site if not they may have just logged off into cyberspace and never got to know the comradarie of this quirky site. I say quirky because it isn't the first time someone got bent and flamed another and sometimes had unecessary collateral damage.

chill  peace  and be cool for cryin' out loud

feelsobad

[HarleyCat]

Give your sister a GRRRREEEEEAAAATTTT BIG hug from me, ok?  Thanks!  Connie

[minime]

I didn't even realize it was you again when I posted or I wouldn't have posted.  I don't see why you are going by 2 names or maybe more for all I know.  I'm not sure why you are here if you aren't an addict, but I won't post to you anymore now that I know your handles - unless there is more that is.

[Bink]

Okay, people are getting banned because of too much talk about God!  That's very, very, very SAD.  

Well, I guess we had better not be mentioning the programs that offer 12-step help because, correct me if I'm wrong, God (higher power, whatever) is a BIG part of that process.   Good Grief, first the Constitution and now THIS???  

Sometimes in an effort to be "politically correct" we eliminate the chance to help others by cutting off those who can make the most difference of all.  Those people's experiences were filled with lessons to be learned.  In my opinion, the talk of Christ, etc. was only a small part of what was offered by them. FURTHERMORE, IF IT CAN HELP GET SOME PEOPLE OFF OF DRUGS, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM???!!!  Isn't that what this forum is all about afterall?  I'm just really confused and disappointed.  And no, I'm no big Bible Thumper.  Don't even go to church.  I'm just an ordinary person who will take the help where I can get it.

I'm sorry to be going off, but I'm one of those who is not "completely" off of the Oxy yet.  Feb. 13 is my "Q" day.  I'm trying to taper and so I can get worked up too much some times.  Sorry again.

[Bubblesh]

Let's see, life with an addict can be very very stressful amongst other things.  We do have our ups and downs living together.  You see there are alot of trust issues.  Last year her, her daughter and son came from Virginia Beach and lived with me to "start" over since she got into so much trouble there.  My husband and I gave her a chance to get clean and start over and all we asked in return is to stay clean and never never bring the prescriptions drugs in my house.  Out of respect it is my house and I don't like what they did (the drugs) to her or the children.  Well she broke that request a couple of times.  That was one of few very big blowups...of course she did the usual guilt trip trying to make me feel bad and all but it didn't work...you know, tough love.  I do love my sister but it is very hard on the people you live with.  When she finally moved out I thought she straightened up.  Nope, she didn't.  But I figured, hey who cares, she isn't in my house.  Well I couldn't do that cuz she is my sister.  One day my husband calls me at work and asks if I called in a prescription...Duh, of course I didn't.  We had a message from a hospital about the prescription "I" had called in.  Needless to say, I called the lady back and she told me someone had called in a prescription to a pharmacy under their names...I had emough so I told the lady that my sister probably did it cuz she has a record of doing it and yada yada yada.  I gave the lady my sisters number and before we hung up she told me to give my sister a message...I said sure.  She said "tell your sister if she trys to pick it up at the pharmacy, the cops will pick her up".  Damn I thought, that is bad.  I should have just said screw it let her get picked up cuz I am tired of covering her for things, for Gods sake I am the baby of the family and she is the oldest...why should I have to cover her all the time???  But nope, that "sisterly" love happened again and I called and warned her.  I don't know exactly what the final straw for her was but she checked herself into the hospital to get help right before Xmas.  She was in there a week and while in there I took care of her daughter and our mother had her son.  

Being at my house she causes alot of turmoil.  I do love her but first off...I do not have the biggest house and so now in my little 3 bedroom 2 bath house I have 3 adults, 2 children, 4 cats, 1 dog and 1 fish.  That is alot to have.  My husband and I just got married in September 2002 and we haven't had much time...I am always doing something for her or or children.  I don't mind helping out but there are also alot of fights that happen.  Being an addict, you lie alot, try to play each other against one another, manipulate people, get real lazy, I could probably go on and on.  My sister get into what she calls a "funk".  To tell you the truth I can't stand it.  Sometimes it seems like she has got to be the mopeiest (SP?) person in the world.  I don't know if she does it for attention or what but man it can get on your last nerve.  You know, you might be addicts and recovering addicts but you can make it through everything.  

I don't know if she has a problem with the way she is treated in my house but it has to be done.  All her money (for the time being) I keep and she has to tell me when she needs some and most of the time I go with her to get whatever she needs (gas, cigs, etc.).  Whenever she goes out my husband or I ask where she has been and stuff.  It has to be done.  Our trust has been broken many of times and if we have to act like strict soldiers or whatever it has to be done for her own good.  People don't understand what we go through.  Yes you have the pain of withdrawals and cravings, but we have the pain of lies, manipulation, sneakiness.  I hate to also see people say they are clean but take everything else they can find under the sun.  My sister wipes me out of Excedrin PM's (or whatever sleeping pills I have), Nyquil, tylenol, benedryl or whatever I have sitting around.  I have to hide things that I don't want to have disappear...I had to actually carry my cough syrup from the doctor in my purse when I was sick in Dec...I shouldn't have to do that but I do.

Trust me, I can probably go on and on but I think I have typed a bit already.  I do love my sister and pray for her healing for both her and her children.  To all of yout out there I also pray for yours.

Feel free to ask me any more questions and I will gladly answer them truthfully.

Bubblesh

[ladymp72]

Look my sister is bubblesh, and if you had not noticed things are smoothed out, but you keep on going. For the sake of us all would you please butt out. We have all made up but for some reason you keep going. You can think I am the meanest person alive, but you should have never been involved in what was said. You are the one that is hostile. My sister has every right to be on this forum even though she is not an addict. Sometimes family members would like to talk with other people about someone close to them having an addiction. My sister and I stick together and at first it was her standing up for me now I am saying leave bubblesh alone as the matter of fact skip over her posts she does not want to have anything to do with you nor do I!!!

[Bubblesh]

Hi there...I noticed you posted to both my sister and I.  It is upsetting that you ask me why I am on here if I am not an addict.  First off addicts need to understand what they do to other people that are around them.  Someone asked me what it is likle to live with an addict and I explained.  If you look above this post you will see my story.  I don't know why you think that I am Ladymp also.  She is my sister as I have always said in the beginning.  The funny thing is, we must have both posted at the same time cuz I am at work on my puter and she is at home on the puter.  If you look back through the threads you will notice that I have apologized to FINISHED and everyone else (including you) on this forum.  Finished has also apologized.  I don't like the fact that you seem as if you are still trying to instigate things.  Excuse Ladymp's reply before mine if it seems rude but it is from one addict to another.  Please will you just realize that everything is smoothed out and I will like to keep it that way.  Also please remember that I have every right in this world to be on this forum because it is the addicts that make me come.  Thank you and hopefully everything is better.

Bubblesh

[ladymp72]

geez my sister was rather rough on me, I did not realize I was causing all of this turmoil. I thought since I got clean we got along really well. But I guess I was wrong, just goes to show you an addict thinks everything is fine and dandy but in reality it is not. If I am this bad to live with now I hate to see what she thought of me when I was using? :(

[Bubblesh]

Just a little note...I do past tense...so I guess being written about you see everything as bad.  This looks like one of those guilt trips things coming.  I am sure anyone out there would be the same pain in the butt my sister was unless of course I was also high.  Lady, you need to understand what I am saying and not act like it is all new stuff to you and you have never heard any of it before.  Everyone on here tells the truth and so do I.  I don't think I was rough...I told what happened...none of it was a lie was it?  You know I love you but I was asked what it was like and I spoke about it.

Love
Bubblesh

[Walking Bad Habit (WBH)]

Am I an addict? (absolutly)
Am I recovering? (So far)
Are my bad habits insidious? (This is proven)
I had dental surgery recently, I recovered with Ad-Vil only, this means I am still recovering. Had I taken pain killers, I am sure I would be using now. Some people can take pain medication for pain, and not, end up, addicted. Many of us can not. If I was injured to the point where I had to take pain killers, I know that it would be the end of my recovery. I am willing to admit this. I sympathise with those who must now use pain killers for pain. But addicts on pain killers, should look for empathy and support, not fights. I am with you Ladymp72. But I stress empathy and suport.
                                Paul

[minime]

Lady, Bubble whomever - I'm sorry I cannot keep track of who is who and I know some people have multiple handles.  I just keep responding to people.  I will stop doing that and perhaps that will end this turmoil.  I will think twice before I stick up for anyone again.

[WifeofAddict]

Hi There,
I have been reading the posts for the past week, and staying out of it as it is none of my business.  I am glad to see everything is starting to come back together with all of you. I have to comment on what you said about not being an addict and coming to this forum.  When i first found out my husband was addicted to Codiene, i was in shock, and disbelief.  I didn't understand why he would do this.  I didn't understand how he could take so much and not kill himself.  I didn't understand what was going through his head.  I didn't understand how hard quiting was.  I didn't understand anything!  This forum and these people have helped me tremendously.  I now, to the best of my ability, understand his addiction.  He has recieved help and i am also recieving help.  I would say that this forum might have just saved my marraige.  I was blown into a different universe when i found out and i didn't know what to do.  I didn't know where to go.  This place is a miracle for me.  I would hope that it isn't restricted to addicts only.  I know it is not....but i just felt the need to comment on that subject.  Anyways, after reading this i am sure you will understand why it is important that we (the family members) come here, and how you can help us just as much as the addicts.  
Thanks,
Catherine

[lisabet]

Hey Finished - you extended the olive branch and tried to make peace with ladymp72 and sister (C73) - a humbled and heartfelt effort.  Sister obviously wasn't satisfied with that, and went on to try to make an even BIGGER issue of this. Please don't let yourself be provoked into retaliation - this is a lose/lose situation. Bubblesh: ladymp72 lashed out - pure and simple.  That "in your face" attitude hurts peoples feelings.  If she really had a problem with Finished having meds in the house and speaking about it, she could have presented her case a lot more tactfully. (As in "it really bothers me hearing about....") I promise you that would have been taken much more graciously. As for your sister's posts being ignored, when I first started posting here, responses were few are far between.  But being on this forum awhile, I realize how easy it is to skip around the posts, and sadly sometimes ones posts do get overlooked. Ladymp's posts are as important and needed as anyones. I commend you on taking up for your sister; obviously you feel she's not being treated well on this forum. For the good of everyone here - PLEASE - Let this drop.  Finished has been through a lot of stress and pain the past couple of weeks; he needs support, as does your sister.  (How would you feel if you had metal rods sticking out of your foot)....smile.  I'm here for your sister (and everyone) - anyone can e-mail me @ ***@****.  I'm still about "half" a mess - not completely clean but not completely as f***** up as I was before.  The important thing to realize here is we ALL need each other.  Just my 2 cents - love you all.  Lisabet

[u2shibby]

Hey its me again. Thank u bubblesh for your post and I do admit lieing alot to people who I need to trust me. It is hard and frankly tonight has been a weird one for me. I have done nothing but think for a while how I got started and why I could not stop taking vics. I remember the first time I took one and it made me feel weird. I realized it in fact was a good WEIRD. It at the same time relived the pain from the tooth I had pulled. I went to the dentist for a refill and was accepted with 1 refill. Then two days later I called and told them the pills were thrown out. He refilled it again. That was the end for a while. about 8 months later I started having back pains. My doctor gave me ultram but it wasn't effective like vicoden. so I called him and he gave me 90 a month and thats where it took off. Those 90 pills didn't last me but I still got them every month plus I found them on the streets and stole a prescription pad from my doctor and traced the prescription very well. I wrote about 20 ir 30 fake ones all over the state. every time a new drug store. Thats where everything became bad. I even made plans to rob a drug store over night. I didn't though. I have been using about a year and a half. Now I am clean. I want to blame the doctors for giving it to me but I can only blame myself. I didn't use I abused. So that is what is in my mind tonight.......peace and love to everyone.....

[Philip1815]

.

[alikeableperson]

hi, im new to this site........but i have takin xanax and loracet 10's for sometime now.......i ended up in serious trouble because of them, i actually forged prescriptions to get them, that is how bad i wantd them, not that i needed them but I wanted them, see i went through some real bad things in my life, death of a mother, and abuse.......at first i was on xanax because i was havin severe panick attacks and anxiety......and the loracet came in after a bad surgery.....i wont lie, and im ashamed of the things i did.........i shoplifted because i spent my money on pills, i went to jail, i hurt my kids so bad and i hurt myself, noone ever thought i was the type to do what i did, well there is no type......i liked the way they made me forget the hurt i went through.....when i ran out of pills i drank beer or other alcoholic drinks to releive the withdraws........im so ashamed and a part of me still wants that feeling back that the pills gave me.......im fightin with the devil right now, and im just starting to go to church again........but its so hard, i have a good life , great kids, why do i want to take these pills to feel good.........i should feel good anyway??????