Does anyone else bruise easily when abusing hydrocodone?And my day 5 update.

[Crazy_in_the_head]

I've been bruising like a peach for the last few years (since I've been taking Lortab.) Anyone else have this issue?

It's actually a motivating factor in getting me to quit.  I don't want to walk around with bruises anymore.

Today, I had to remind myself several times why I am staying clean. (Today is day 5) I am a bit more than depressed, angry, and really pissed off that I can't have my proverbial cake and it too.  I wanted so badly to take a pill today, that nothing else seemed to matter - just that overwhelming desire to feel the pain removed and the warm feel replace it with it a pill.

I feel like a kid running around saying, "it's not fair, SHE gets to do it, and SHE isn't an addict!"  Then I hear my adult saying, "too bad kid, life ***** and then you die.  Life isn't fair."

Very negative self talk.  I look forward to going to an NA meeting tomorrow, although I am obsessing over what long sleeve shirt to wear to cover my bruises.

I guess I should be happy that these are my big problems.  My husband is ranting and raving about money and cutting back, but that's nothing new.  He told me to go get a second job, and it didn't really even impact me.  I just let it wash right over. TFB!

I MUST GET CLEAN!  I need to figure out who I am (as I approach retirement age!)  Do I want to sentence myself to the next 20 years of this dead-ness with him, or strike out on my own?  Stay tuned.  No decisions today or anytime soon,

Just realized that I am no longer asking a question, this is more of a journal.  Maybe I just should start one.
Thanks for listening,

[Crazy_in_the_head]

Thanks guys! I'm better today.  I'm so glad I decided to get off the crazy merry go round when I wasn't past 45-60 10 mg Lortabs a month.  I see what could have been my future, and it isn't pretty.

[clean_in_ks]

Hey there,
I'm new to the post and have never been in a chat room b4 in my life!  But boy do I need to hear what you all have to say and get support until I can get to some meetings (physically).

I, too, bruised easily, even if I just bumped my leg walking by a chair.
I also eventually got sores all over my back, neck and top of my arms that weren't like pimples but were red with an oily center. (sorry to be so gross but it is a huge, horrible reality for me and a good reminder of what I did to myself over a period of 5 yrs or more)  Now.....I'm covered with little scars like chicken pox or measle scars and HATE to look at myself.  I have to wear shirts to cover them, too.  I went for a really long time b4 I would even let my husband see them.

I was taking 20-25 lortabs (10's) a day when I finally had my "moment".
I also was abusing my anti-depressants and another nerve damage pill as I was cutting back on lortabs. (like every time I wanted 2-10's I took one of each of those and that was about hourly.......man that looks terrible when I type it).  Little did I know that the anti-depressant was building up in my system and was going to last 4-6 wks according to the suboxone dr. I went to.

I also took as many somas as I could get my hands on.  My reg dr (not the one prescribing lortabs at this time) told me that somas chemically breakdown like xanex (benzodiazapines).  I can't have those either!

I really relate to you wanting "just one or two" because I had back surgery but have a lot of pain still (especially these last two days).  I've been clean from opiates and benzo for 57 days and off suboxone for 29 days.

I'm tired all the time, my vision is weird, my bowels are weird, and I have a terrible time getting to sleep.  Once I'm asleep, I'm great, but it's been 3 or later in the a.m. b4 I've been able to get there.

Anyway, I can relate to you feeling like you didn't ask a question because on my 1st post I didn't either.  I was soooo alone and it was late in KS.
I still don't think anyone but medhelp has said hey welcome.....but someone did finally write something when I went back and actually asked a specific question.

Hang in there girl.  I know about the $ issues too.  I was exceeding my Rx, using and exceeding my hubbys Rx and still buying lortabs off the street!
We have no income except his newly rec'd SS and it isn't for ****.  I feel lots of guilt about spending tucked away $ and know I should go to work.
Physically, can't yet.  Time will tell if that's the plan for me.

I truly wish you well.
Clean_in_ks