Doing it alone

Well here I go again,
This is my 3rd time battling an oxycotin addiction and this time I have no help.
Last time I went to my dr for help and was tapered off slowly. However the depression, restless legs and arms, anxiety attacks and lack of energy made my "support" team angry. In addition to suffering mentally and physically I also had a ton of people telling me daily to suck it up. I ended up addicted again and this time no one knows. I'm trying to taper myself off but with no medical help for the withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms I'm not doing well.
I've tried all the vitamines and natural remedies for the RLS to no avail. Does anyone have anything new to try or any advice for dealing better with life after drugs?

[lifesaride]

have you thought about trying suboxone?

[addict200]

I'm sorry I don't know what suboxon is?

[lifesaride]

how much oxy ya takin?

[addict200]

K I looked it up but unfortunatly I can not get a perscription for anything as my Dr. does not know about my latest fall. He told me last time if I did oxy again I had to find a new dr. b/c he wouldn't help me. Short of a methodone clinic (which I've heard very bad things about) I'm on my own w/ only over the counter things to help.
I'm currently taking 4x 40/day as well as 4-5 percs.

[lifesaride]

do you take them by mouth?

[GoingToMakeIt]

If you choose the suboxone route. You will need to go to  Dr certified to prescribe it. Check out suboxone.com and http://naatb.org.
You need to join NA and or get counseling to get to the reason you are using. It will really help.

[addict200]

Yes by mouth and I don't break them up

[addict200]

I have gone to NA meetings and didn't find it helpful, but I do need to be around other people like me so I'm going to go to AA. I've heard of a lot of drug addicts that find AA more helpful. I agree I need a support system like that.

[lifesaride]

well, then you can problably successfully taper, just gotta stick to it, theres alot of help here for support so youll never be doing it alone

[Rose703]

Oxy and Percs are my poison as well. For the RLS I took hot baths, wrapped my legs in ace bandages, and ate lots of bananas to replace the potassium that the drugs took away. Those 3 things helped tremendously with the leg issue!
Keep posting because you know that it helps to have people to talk to during this process and this is a great place for that.

There is one prescribed medication for RLS called Requip and it works wonders. My RLS stuck around after getting clean so I simply told my doctor that my legs constantly ached and felt like pins and needles at times. I left it up to my doctor to determine that I needed the Requip and from everything I've read and from some knowledgeable people on here, I found out that it's not a narcotic at all. Perhaps your doctor would give it to you by DX you with true RLS. Just a thought!

[addict200]

Thank you

[Friend999]

I looked at your profile, and only saw this post, but I get the impression you have been reading posts.

First, you are not alone. You may not currently have people in person to support you, but there are many, many supportive people on this site that are wonderful and caring.  Please lean on them (us). They will always be here for you.  Many feel that they could not have made it without this forum.

Second you said your "support" got angry from your withdrawal symptoms.  I don't know if it was from lack of knowledge, or from not caring enough, that they left you and said suck it up.  That is a shame.  Whether you can get the in person people back to support you is unknown.  Maybe you can invite them to this site.

Please stay on this site.  Learn, cry, shout, ask questions, and ask and give support.

My very best to you in this fight.

Friend999

[addict200]

I had clonazapam and lorazapam last time and they helped so much I actually slept and didn't have to deal w/ the leg problem, but this time...no one to prescribe anything.
Thanks for the advice, baths do help but only while I'm in the tub. I'll try to wrap my legs and never even heard of bannanas! Thanks a lot I'll try!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Another remedy for RLS is made by Hylands. It is an OTC. Upping your Calcium and Magnesium, along with the Potassium helps too.

[lifesaride]

p.s. NO ONE HERE WILL EVER SAY TO YOU "SUCK IT UP" you will get ideas to get healthy, and advise on your addition, yu might even get a few guiding you to be more responsible. i guarantee this here you'll never fell or be alone. so stay here, its safe here

[broknbck]

for the restless leg thing-

are you a hiker? if not great. it will be a new experience and it is really fun. you work the heck outta your legs and the alone time with nature is cool. or even go with other people. it is a more interesting way to work the heck outta your legs and when you are done do some really good stretches. you will find that even though the hike totally wears you out you will feel so energized afterwards. so don't do it before you are going to bed.

there are always parks around somewhere to go hiking. and trust me, it is addicting. but this is a good one! eat a bananna before you go and bring water to keep hydrated. might not be a bad idea to let someone know what you are doing in case something happens and you are gone too long.

so maybe the hiking sounds lame. the idea is to try and find fun stuff to do while you are tappering. it really helps.
best to you- and you are doing great! this is probably the hardest thing you will ever do.

[addict200]

Thank u all so much. My plan for today is to not take anything else till bedtime. I'e taken 1 40 and 3 perks. I have enough (so I'm telling myself) in my system to last 12 hours. At 11pm if I need to I will take more to help me sleep.
Someone told me it's easier to get off perks than oxy? If that's true I'm going to start by cutting out oxy then perks.
I have a call into my Dr.'s office for RLS relief but won't know till the end of the day if he'll give it to me without a drugscreen.
Wow I feel like I have people routing for me :)

[addict200]

Does that really help? I always thought RLS was a nerve problem, I've worked the hell out of my legs at the gym to no avail but perhaps a long hike is better, longer. Walking around helps while I'm doing it but as soon as I start to relax it starts again.

[broknbck]

the RLS is one of the most common side effects of withdrawl (withdrawal). but to make it work you have to really feel the burn in your legs while you work them out. and it is such a good work out for the rest of your body too. it shapes you up in no time.

so then when you are completely clean you will be looking hotter than hell too!! hah
and that will be added confidence you will needing at that time. so it is all good!!

[dominosarah]

Im glad you are here and yes you have many people rooting for you.  As others have said you are not alone here.  I came here 70 some days ago and thought i was on deaths door and today here i am clean and learning how to live my new life to its fullest.  Stay here and keep posting and as i said before you will never be alone.  We are all here for you.  You can do this.  Stay strong!!!                sara

[addict200]

I'm in no way excusing their behaviour but I guess after a while people get tired of it. They've never experienced it and can't begin to imagine how long it takes to get back to normal (whatever that is). I was expected to do everything I was supposed to and after all it was my own fault I got addicted. I was never prescribed pain meds I took them recreationally. I can see how they got tired of my illness and just wanted me to get over it. But I was the one who had to experience it. This time is more terrifying b/c I know what I'm in for.
If I can get through this I will have to have a plan to ensure I don't end up back on them.

[Sajonna]

The RLS advice about hiking is very good suggestion.  My RLS kicked in back while I was tapering and then off the pills.  I didn't hike, but I did walk.  I found that walking releived the pressure/pain in my legs.  I started out by short amount of minutes at a time every hour and then worked up daily to about 45 min a day.  The baths do help too, but I think people tend to avoid the workout or walking and just try to rely on the baths.

Walking doesn't cost anything either so what have you got to lose?
Try it...it does work.  But don't overdo it at first and don't get discouraged if at first the short amount of time doesn't totally take care of the pain. It will eventually.

Good luck..you can do this.  It took me 8x to quit smoking. And smoking is one of the biggest addictions out there.

(((( Y O U   C A N   D O   T H I S  )))))

sj

[lifesaride]

Just wonding how you finally quit smoking?

[cgmomma]

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone...obviously....look at all of your friends here posting for you..believe me WE care.

GIVE IT HELL!!!:)

[desperate1111]

you can do this and you're not alone here. the support here is awesome. everyone can help you through this. just make a plan and stick to it.

[addict200]

Does the walking only help if you do it at night before bed or is it the exercise throughout the day?

[lifesaride]

nope, walk all the time, keep them legs moving, the fresh air helps too. even if you start by walkin in the yard. any walkin, the more the better

[britney1663]

We are in the same boat...Im going through this alone for the third time too! I also never had any legitimate pain for the meds. I stayed clean for a year doing meetings, having a sponsor, the whole bit. But then I moved away from my support network and before I knew it here I am...again! Have you ever tried the program of NA or AA?

[addict200]

No I haven't I did go to a few NA meetings but it seemed we have different philosophies. Although I am a drug addict I still don't believe in suffering and will take anything that will help me. They talked a lot about the importance of not taking any medication. I need my antidepressants and am not going to say no to valium or lorazapam if it will ease the suffering so coming at it from different views it was difficult to relate.

[britney1663]

I totally understand. I take Klonopin for anxiety and would not be willing to suffer through panic attacks without them. I think the most important thing is finding a support network. If you can't find it in the meetings, maybe you can find it here. I feel your pain...

[EmilyPost]

"suck it up?" .....wow. What a bunch of mean people. I'm really sorry you ran into them. Aftercare can be anythng that helps you manage the issues that drive you to the bad pills and too many of them in the first place.My aftercare will be Bikrams Yoga. (when I can walk and stuff...) You really willfind kind people here who willsupport you. Like Britney,I take klonopin for panic, andmight never stop. But that isn't hurting me like the other drugs were. I don't believe in suffering either. For me, the drugs were CAUSING the suffering to increase.

It's nice here. People are helpful.

:)

You can do it!

[Sajonna]

I quit smoking using the nicotine gum.  I used the Aussie brand (Habitrol because it tasted better and was softer.  Best thing I ever did.

[Sajonna]

Re: Walking.

I first noticed my legs hurting while trying to relax in front of the TV.
It was there I noticed also that whenever I got up to get something to munch on my legs felt abit better.  So I started walking around my house in between commercial breaks.  I thought, if walking relieves this burning heavy pain in my legs every time I got up for these commercials, then it might help to just go on a walk.

I started with a 10 min walk in the morning.  Then 10 min at noon and 10 min around 5pm, then a 10 min walk around 8pm.  (I work sitting at a computer all day.)

I then started getting up from my computer every hour for about 5min (walking around the whole time.)

I still did my morning or evening walk increasing my time by just a few minutes every time.  Soon the pain was really gone.

Every now & then I gets bursts of pain...but nothing like that throbbing, heavy burning pain I was getting by just sitting.  The hot baths seem to take care of the other aches & pains.

Hope this helps.

SJ

[addict200]

Good news and bad news,
I got RLS meds...BUT I have to go for a drug test probably monday. I think my taper plan just got a violent shove into cold turkey!
We'll see what 2morow brings, I will post and let you know how I'm doing.
Thank you for all your support today. It's a relief to know I'm not alone.

[Rose703]

I'm glad you got the RLS meds beause they honestly work!! Make sure to ask your doctor for the sample pack that's available and it will cover you for the first 2 weeks.

Now about that drug screen. Obviously if you don't go in on Monday he will know that you're using so I think you will have to go CT. Believe me when I tell you it can be done. I was averaging 800 mgs of Oxy per day and I didn't swallow them either, I snorted them. Then on top of that I would eat Percs throughout the day! It really sounds like one of your main issues about going CT has just been taken care of for you by the doctor giving you this script, so maybe it is time to jump off and go for the CT!

We will all be right here with you every step of the way. You can do this!!

[addict200]

Morning!
I took 2 percs today and don't have anymore...I think I'm gonna be ok though I have RLS meds and immodiam and gravol. I have no access to oxy,I purposely didn't get what I would need for the weekend and my supplier has gone away so that's good. I can get percs if I'm dying but I'm not going to get them!
I think day 3 is the hardest but I still have to work and pretend everythings fine. I'm really looking fwd to having money again and not spending my entire paycheck on drugs. I'm also looking fwd to not lying anymore. I think 90% of what comes out of my mouth everyday is BS.
I'll keep posting my progress! Thank you all for your support!

[joann1975]

You are doing the right thing and you know it.... you will be so much happier clean.. and I am sure you know that!

Post when ever you need to...it really helps alot.

Having the money again will be so nice won't it?

Keep posting and let us know how you are.....we do care!
JoAnn

[headhunterxxx]

stay in there just take it day by day i`am on day 28 from takeing 10 per day to 0 c/t so you sound strong and smart


later rick

[wannabefree330]

Girl you have to find some sort of aftercare program!  Keep going to meetings till you find one that works for you.  This site is fantastic, but you've gotta have that face to face interaction at least once a week for a while.  It has been proven that when people slack off on their aftercare activities, they relapse.  When you go to meetings remember, you don't have to take home everything thats said, just take what you need and leave the rest behind.  I am a pill addict and also find AA works better for me.  In reality the disease is more about how we deal with life and emotions, than it is about what drug we choose.  Get on here, get a AA/NA book and read it, work the steps suggested (even if you don't agree with the philosophy- if it worked for others, it can work for you), keep an open mind.  Be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober.  Whatever you did the last two times, hasn't worked, so be willing to try something new.  In a weeks time, the physical part will be over....then the aftercare begins.

[addict200]

Day 1...
This is my 1st day with nothing and I'm just a little worried. Is is safe to do this c/t? I'm not feeling 2 bad so far but took 15 perks yesterday.

[gizzy32]

i don't know much about pills, but im happy to hear that you are putting an end to this. it's not going to be easy for the next little while, but YOU CAN DO THIS. having people say to you, "suck it up" can be very hurtful, but you have come to a place where people understand. you are doing the right thing and i just wanted to wish you luck in your recovery. life is so much better clean. good luck and keep posting

[joann1975]

You can do this! It will be a little tough to jump off at 15...not gonna lie. But keep posting... you have read the health pages right?


I think a good tool for you would be to journal each day how you felt what happened etc.. and use your tracker. You can set it to private if you wish.... I do b/c I write some really personal stuff in there sometimes and alot of times I am just venting.... but you CAN DO THIS!

Post when you need to!!!
JoAnn

[addictedme]

NA doesnt believe in suffering either and whoever told you the importance of not taking meds needs to read their basic text.

[addict200]

I took 5 percs.
I slept all day. I feel icky.

[britney1663]

Keep you're head up...Im here for you:)