Don't count the days...make the days count.

Over the past 7 weeks I have learned so much.  I have learned that I was counting the days and not making the days count.  I lived for so long (as so many of us have) by counting how many days until my next refill or how many days until someone else got their refill.  I lost so many days of my life to this addiction.  I am learning so much about myself and my addiction......from my group and from my therapist.  I am learning that it's ok for me to be happy.  I have never really allowed myself that before.  For the last 3 years I have been chasing the high to get happy and instead was actually depleting myself of all emotion.  I am learning to forgive and forget about my past.  I can't change it so I need to learn from it.   I need to forgive myself first.....that's a hard one!!!
For today, I feel happy and that's something I haven't felt in years.  
I am 48 days clean......it feels really good.
Kristen

[LeaAnn807]

WTG, Kristen!  I knew you could do it, girl!  Keep it up.  Great post and so true!

Congrats!

Lea Ann

[gnarly_1]

Hey congrads on 48 days clean your doing great...your aftercare will help you lead a new clean and sober lifestyle...good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[vicki595]

Kristen~    Big hugs!!!   It is hard!!!  But it does get better.  Once we begin to do all the things to effect a change in our lives,it just falls in to place.  When we get the "tools",we can dig ourselves out.  That's what you're doing and it's working!!  I'm happy,too!
Vicki  xo

[CinChelle]

That is a quote that I will never forget it. I am so used to counting everything!!!! Instead of making everything count. Thanks Kristen and congrats!!!

[Jebs317]

Thanks you guys!  I really have learned the most from all of you!  Your experiences and advice has made a huge difference in my outlook in the past weeks.  For a while, once the "pink cloud" was gone, I didn't know if I was going to make it through each day.  It really and truly is a "one day at a time" process.  

[cathy5841]

CONGRATS!  I have watched you grow so much since you joined MH. You have come a longgg way n I am very proud of you!   Keep going one day at a time!!!

[Jebs317]

Thanks Cathy!  It's nice to hear that.  I feel like I have changed.........cautiously optimistic, but I feel good.  
Keeping busy and learning as much as I can about my addiction is what is helping me.  It's funny, I applied for a part time job so that I could stay busy on the weekends and in the summer when I am off.  They require a drug test......it was the greatest feeling to be able to take that test without hesitation.  
Thank you for your support!

[MarilynH52]

I am thankful for having had the chance to talk with in emails a bit.  I am so glad to hear you are doing well!  I'm so proud of you!!! WTG Girl..

[Beccabeccalynn]

Nice job on the clean time and great
post people can just count days in recovery also.
Becca

[gizzy32]

You are doing so well now and working at this. We learn as we go. I think I still put too much emphasis on my clean days, it's like a badge and probably wrong for me to think like that, but knowing my clean time helps me and don't want to toss it away.

Congrats on those 48 days, I am proud of you. Keep working it!

[Jebs317]

You two are so right.....I love counting my clean days.....guarding them with my life!