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Avatar universal

Down to 30 mg Oxycodone a day.

Hey guys, first time posting and needing some advice and support.

I had been taking 180mg between Oxycontin and Oxycodone a day.  I was prescribed these from a doctor, but failed to mention to him that I was a recovering alcoholic.  I wanted to get high at the time, didn't want to accept that I would get hooked  This was 2 destructive years ago that I am ashamed to look back on.

I never imagined how this drug could sink such a monster size grip into my *** and rob me of everything.  In the past I usually had enough survival instincts to know when to quit and clean up when things spiraled out of control, not in this case.  The drug took control of my life in every aspect from a gradual tolerance increase to binge popping, to the worse taper down detox these past 2 months.
  
I constantly feel like my cage is rattled, the anxiety is brutal and I can't focus on anything but the drug.  

I'm starting to believe that I'm never going to able to get off this.  I'm so irritable, I have been isolating I just cant stand to be around anyone right now.

I was hoping to hear from others about their experiences that I can find my second wind to beat this thing.

By the way, how I got this far was as follows.  I had about 90 Oxycontin's (10mg) and 120 Oxycodone's (15mg).  My dosage at the time was 20mg/30mg 3 times a day, then I would take an additional 30mg of Oxycodone somewhere in the middle.  I stopped taking the Oxycontin completely and replaced it with the equal amount of Oxycodone.  So I tapered down from 180 mg Oxycodone.

Thanks

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Avatar universal
You can do this.  Keep remembering that once you're through it you won't have to do it again!  Withdrawal is the worst.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!  Keep hydrated.  It really is so important.  What are you taking to help your symptoms?  What are your worst symptoms?  Let us know and maybe someone will have some suggestions.
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Avatar universal
I told myself at least a couple things. The first was what do you do when what will make the sickness go away, is also what's causing it? Reality sometimes bites. The next thing I did repeat a few times was that as awful as you feel, I just can't go through it again. The worst or a majority of the worst you've already done. There will be a noticeable break around 72 hours, at least there was for me. The acute part. It won't be over but will get better, the next break after that was around one week. You've made commendable choices and are winning. I wish you well!
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1801781 tn?1461629469
I am up from a nasty night of restless legs and saw your post.  You CAN do this.  Do not let your brain win.  Two days is great.
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Avatar universal
*sighs*

everything is ****** right now and I feel like crap.  i don't care if someone quit a huge habit after 20+ years, I feel like ****.  I am fighting the urge every minute with that constant message telling me a pill will make it go away.
I have 2 days clean.
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Avatar universal
Good luck.  You can do this.  It's great you don't have to be at work until Tuesday at 11.  Keep us posted on how it's going.
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Avatar universal


Hey everyone,

I took my last dose for good @ 5:00pm on Friday.  I am prepared for the worse but no matter what; "I'm not going to use!"  I decided not to go back to the apartment and plan on moving my stuff out when i have some time under my belt.  I had to turn it over to God and I'll deal with it when I'm well.  My boss also gave me Monday off and I don't have to go in until 11:00 am Tuesday.
I was supposed to start detoxing tomorrow, but events played themselves out where I'm currently staying in a clean environment.  I didn't want to bring any crap into this home, and I also have to abide by rules of the house.
I feel good spiritually and I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel.  But my insides are screaming right now.  My biggest complaint is always the anxiety, it's horrible.  But I'm keeping a positive attitude.
I cannot utilize the Thomas recipe to it's potential.  I don't have access to any drugs,  I do have some B-complex, Folic Acid, and Magnesium.  I have juices and water and have been drinking about 170 oz a day for about 2 weeks now.
I have a carton of Red's =) and a Big Book.  I also brought my guitar with me, which I haven't played in a long time.  Figure this will help pass the time.

I hope everyone is doing well, especially those who are going through early stages of recovery.

God Bless and thank you for your continued support
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Avatar universal
Seems like you're thinking more clearly!!!  You may find the CT to be not so bad since you've tapered so much already.  Look over the Thomas Recipe and pick up what you need so you'll be prepared and have everything ready.  That way you won't have to go out searching for things if you're not feeling great.

The most important thing to do is make sure you stay hydrated.  It's really easy to get dehydrated, and that makes everything so much worse.  Water, of course, is good, but Gatorade works well as it replaces your electrolytes.  In case you have restless legs or leg cramps, bananas help a lot.  Tonic water with quinine will also help.  Or you can pick up Hylands Restful Legs.  Make sure to pick up some Imodium.  Lots of people said it not only helps with stomach issues but it makes other withdrawal symptoms better as well.  Stock up on some soups and other foods that appeal to you when you're not feeling well.  Try to eat a little if you can.  Melatonin and Alteril will help with sleep.  When I was in acute withdrawal, I found popsicles to help a lot.  I always wound up dehydrated because I had trouble keeping things down, but popsicles worked for me.

It sounds like you do need some space from your GF.  If the situation stresses you out, it's best to put some space between you.  If she's still using, that's going to be a problem.  Especially since she can't be supportive of you quitting.  Your sobriety has to come first.

Hopefully you'll put some kind of aftercare in place.  AA/NA works for a lot of people.  But some people prefer a more private type of aftercare and work with a counselor.  Whatever route you go, you'll get a lot of support and you'll be given lots of tools on how to keep your sobriety.

Best of luck.  You may not need any of the things in the Thomas Recipe, but better to have it than to wish you did.  You've done great tapering and I"m sure you'll do great with going CT.  Just think, a week from now and this will be behind you.

Keep us posted on how things are going.
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Avatar universal
Thank you again Mellie for your post, I really enjoy hearing your views as well as your support.  I don't feel so alone in this which has helped me a lot.

Hosein, I'm glad your feeling better and you were able to find the strength to quit CT and stay afloat.  I didn't have the courage myself to attempt it in the last 2 months but it has constantly been on my mind as I am well in tuned to how much my body and mind are hanging on to this drug.  Either way I admire your strength and plan on going CT this weekend.

I have been more open about whats going on and have been reaching out for help.  I am keeping an open mind and willing to take suggestion.  I understand that I might have tapered to fast, but I didn't have a manual on tapering.  I did the best i could under the circumstances that I'm in.

I'm leaving Saturday.  My rent is paid up (which *****) but I realize that I can't stay in the situation that I'm in.  I haven't mentioned anything about getting clean and simply told my gf that I need some time.  I'm already starting to feel the reaction which is putting more stress on me.  When I stress out I find myself wanting to use more.  My thinking becomes irrational because I'm an addict.

Yesterday and the day before I took 3 Norco's and haven't touched the Oxycodone..  For me, this is a milestone because I'm managing on a lesser strength narcotic. I am planning to go CT on Saturday after I get my stuff moved out, which will allow me a few days to recover.

Thanks again for all suggestions and support.


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Avatar universal
Thank you guys for your support, I will post again later as I don't have time right now.
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Avatar universal
Please listen to Vicki!!!  She really knows what she's talking about.  I think you're tapering too fast as well.  IF you choose tapering, slow is better.  When you do it too fast, you may as well be going CT.  You need to slow it down.  You need to feel okay on the dose you're at for about a week and then cut back a LITTLE.

I'm concerned about what you're doing with your girlfriend.  Even if she doesn't want to quit, she shouldn't want you to stay on them.  I get you love her but you have to put your sobriety above everything else.  If she can't understand that, then what does it say about how much she loves you.  But even if she wanted you to get clean, it would still be worrisome with her still using.  The temptation is too great.  And behaviors change when you stop using.

If you could see your doctor, you would get a lot of help with this.  There's nothing to be concerned about in telling your doctor; they've heard it all and want to help.

I'm not sure if you misread the label on the Valerian Root.  It calms you down and some people use it for sleep.  For myself, I prefer the Alteril for help with sleeping.  I use the Valerian Root for anxiety.

I hope you're feeling okay and will rethink how you're tapering.  Tapering can be impossible for some people; others think it's the only way to go.  CT for me would be impossible but I wish I could go that route and be done with it.  Tapering can take a long time.  If you're feeling tempted, then maybe CT would be best.  Only you can decide that.  But whichever way you ultimately decide to go, you can do it!!!
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Avatar universal
About 72 hours...
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Avatar universal
Can you please tell me how long it takes for the oxycotin to get out of my system?

Angie2223
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Avatar universal
Hi-

I'm just going to jump in here and point out a few things; you may get mad at me but i have to tell you that you are NOT doing this right!!

You live with an addict; not good.

You're LYING to her about getting clean!!  WTH??  Who lies about getting clean???

You tapered TOO fast!   If you're going to taper, it needs to be SLOW so you're not constantly feeling like poo!!

Now you're getting more...

We can't tell you how to taper on this forum but I guess i can say that you need to find a dose that keeps you comfy and stay at that dose for a period of time and THEN drop down A LITTLE BIT!

Do you have a doctor you can speak with?  There are meds that will help you...

Get some Imodium...it works great!

Keep in touch!
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Avatar universal
Thank you for sharing that Hosein2000.

It's what I needed to hear as well
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Avatar universal
Dear Sobervision: Of course you can do it if I could do it. Most probably you are younger than me with less time of addiction. I am 53, had a 28 years of narcotics addition, the last one was around 240 mg of Oxycontin/day. I stopped it abruptly 54 days ago. The first 10 days was real hell, that I do not want it for my worse enemy. However things started to get better day by day. Some days were harsh others a little better. Today, I feel very close to normal (still not that normal). I know for sure that in 15 or at most 30 more days I can confidently say that I am normal. So, if a person 53 years old, with a history of 28 years of addiction, the latest 240 mg of Oxy/day (since 2003) can make it, you can easily make it.
You need to be patient. There will be some times that you may want to trick yourself and take a pill..DO NOT DO THAT and make your self busy with something...YOU CAN DO THAT... keep it up.. be patient... it may take some time....PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!!! My best wishes and cordial prayers for you my friend.
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Avatar universal
**Update**

I didn't take any Oxy this morning and was able to get my hands on 10 Norco.  I broke one in half and .5 seems to take the edge off and anxiety away.

I can do this!
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Avatar universal
Thank you Mellie for the encouragement.

I went to the store yesterday and looked at a cheap brand Valerian Root (it's what they had in stock).  On the bottle it stated something like "to prevent sleepiness",  I could be wrong.  But I took a hard look at it and thought to myself; "I don't want to take something that's going to keep me up".  So I thought I would research it more.

I'm currently taking 15 mg @ 8 am and then @ 4pm. I'm barely able to break a pill down into 4's (3.75 mg).  The pills are too small for my hands and for sure some of the quarters would be inaccurate for true measurement. I have a pill cutter, but the blade is too thick and usually pulverizes the pill.  But I see your point in trying to get down to percentages. I do have an exacto knife lying around somewhere =).

I have such a crazy situation right now.  My girlfriend who is also an addict doesn't know what I'm doing.  Our situation is a little different because she takes MS Contin and Somas.  I told her awhile back why I needed to get clean but it seems to put a strain on our relationship.  It ***** because I love her and I really can't even deal with thinking about it right now.

Every night we do a count and that is when I am really tempted to use more.  I have been hiding my pills so she thinks I'm still using the near dosage of where I was at., but I'm sure she has suspensions because of all the sweating and the fact that things are coming back to life down stairs (if you know what I mean).

I had to do this because my life was going downhill rapidly.  When I was taking the pills I was depressed to the point I wanted to hurt myself.  I was seeking affirmation to end my life because of it.  I wasn't depressed any other time in my life but with the economy, job loss, and other factors that contributed, the pills just intensified it.
I have a 10 year old son from a previous relationship and I really want to be part of his life.  His mother lives half way across the country and has been a pain in the *** in allowing me to visit with my son.  I admit that I neglect my responsibility to pursue part time custody because of my addiction and this is what has prompted me in my pursuance in getting clean. His  mom knew about my alcoholism and would push the issue with the courts.

But thinking about it all can be overwhelming and every day I have to live in the minute, literally.  I just know that I will be able handle my situation much better when I'm off all this crap and can think clearly again.

I also want to pursue an education and establish some security in my life.  I hate living day to day, month to month.  I try not to focus on regret but all the awesome things life has to offer.

So either way the plan is to drop the dose down by 3.75 a day with a 3 day interval or just stop altogether?  As much as I hate it, I am thinking about doing the taper to maintain my situation.  I'm scared that I'm going to have a weak  moment and cave.  I'm not sure if it's easier to stop when you have the drugs or if you didn't.  Because it's on my mind all the time.

I will research tapering schedules and see what I can come up with.  This is the only support I have right now so of course I will keep posting.  Thank you again and sorry if I talked your ear off.

T.

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Avatar universal
I can't imagine anything worse than detoxing from something in jail.  Tapering has its pros and cons.  If you feel like it's possible that you'll slip back by tapering, then maybe CT is the way to go.  I have other health problems that precluded me from going CT.

I do know that if you taper properly, i.e., slowly, the withdrawal symptoms are much less.  It's when you taper too much and/or too fast that you feel the bad withdrawals.  If you're sweating a ton, then maybe you need to slow the taper down.  Taper schedules aren't allowed on here but essentially the slower the better.  When you get to lower doses, you start feeling it more, especially if you keep tapering the way you did at the start.  When cutting back, think more percentage than milligrams.

Again, I found the Valerian Root to be just as good, if not better, than Ativan.  You can always ask the pharmacist if there's any interactions between the Valerian Root and the Lexapro.  If you can talk to your doctor, all the better.  They usually are helpful and can be a great support.

Good luck and keep posting.  You've come a long way.  Are you taking the 30 mg. all at once or breaking it up throughout the day?
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Avatar universal
I know I need to take this plunge and have been avoiding it.  The reality is that there is no difference between maintaining a 180 mg a day habit or a 30 mg a day.  I believe if I try to taper this final stretch I'm going to end slipping back.

I am so sick of detoxing, yet grateful I didn't have to do it in jail.
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1801781 tn?1461629469
Thomas will help...but probably when you are not taking anything.  The L-tryosine tended to make me anxious and I had to quit it.  One of the others here says to take about 200 instead of the larger dosage suggested.  Imodium in either the liquid (best) or pill will be needed and useful with withdrawals for some reason.  No generics do it.  I take 20 Lexapro and have not felt it has helped or hindered.  Getting off of it, might make the anxiety worse.  Not sure about that.  I did not use the benzo's.  I am sure others will come in and share as well.  I hope you can get the help you need.  I just know my brain is happy now and I am thinking clearly for the first time in a long time.  If you can talk to your doctor, perhaps they can help you with other things to stay strong.
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Avatar universal
Thank you Mellie!

I went to a few AA meetings, and introduced myself as a "newcomer" but the anxiety has really kept me from going out.
I looked over the Thomas recipe before starting my taper and unfortunately didn't have access to Benzo's or a bath.  I'm currently showering twice a day because of the sweating, which is really bad when I'm sleeping.
I started walking my dog late at night, because again the anxiety keeps me cooped up but it's some form of exercise.  I'm going down to market to look for the Valerian Root.  I am taking 20 mg Lexapro (AD), hopefully it won't affect it.  But the way I see it, it really isn't helping.
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Avatar universal
Tapering can be really hard, especially if you're addicted rather than just dependent.  I was "only" dependent.  I've wound up in acute withdrawals due to other health issues and they were brutal.  I tapered off a ton of medication.  I was on 75 mcg. Fentanyl every 48 hours, 45 mg. of oxycodone every 4 hours, 90 mg. Cymbalta every day, 10 mg. Ambien at bedtime, 300 mg. of Neurontin 3 times a day, and 1 mg. of Ativan 3 times a day.  I basically tapered myself.  Sometimes I got a little too aggressive with the taper as I was really anxious to come off everything.  I was in and out of withdrawals the whole time.  They weren't as bad as acute withdrawal but they were there nonetheless.

Are you doing anything like AA/NA?  This could help you with thinking about the drug all the time.  While you continue your taper, see if the Thomas Recipe helps some of what's going on.  Valerian Root works terrific for anxiety (at least for me.)  There are other things listed in the Thomas Recipe that help other symptoms.

You've tapered down a lot.  As you get lower, in my experience anyway, you have to taper a little more slowly.  You feel it if you taper too much too fast.

I'm sure you'll get more responses from others with more experience with the addiction part of it.
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