END of my VICODIN addictiom

To any and all of you who are willing to listen or offer advice:

I am a 26 y/o female, addicted to Vicodin. Today is the first day of the rest of my life VICODIN FREE! I want to be off of these pills for good. I normally take one to two 750 vicodin pills per day. I know this does not sound like alot when I read some of your posts to 10 or 15 a day, but I love vicodin and the feeling I have when I take them. I can get through the day happy and ready to do anything. I can clean my house in about an hour and love it. I can feel like nothing is the matter and love being alive. BUT, I know this is not the right way to do it.

I started taking vicodin for migranes (migraines) about 2 years ago. Now it is my sanity. It is my reward when I get home from work and get my two young children fed and bathed and they have had thier bedtime story and are tucked safely in their beds. Then I get my "treat". I have come to realize my addiction is alot mental, although I do still get the euphoric feeling from just one pill. (it may only last two hours but i get it) I do not take any when I am working, never have. I guess it is my standards of my addiction, I justify it by saying if I go to work all day, take care of my kids, house and all else I get my pill. On the weekend is when I take two......again I deserve it from working so hard during the week.  I will take one about noon and the other about 8pm after kids in bed. My house is clean all weekend long, laundry all done, my yard is cleaned up and I have taken my kids to the park or zoo and spent quality time with them and I am happy.  Why do I have to feel like i need this "magic pill" to do that stuff? I rely on it now everyday.

I know I have issues with depression, my mom died by suicide when I was 19. She also had an addiction, it was to gambling. I see her in me and I am so scared of it. Her addiction killed her. I do not want mine to do the same.

I usually buy Vicodin from someone I know, I buy 10 per week. Not anymore. I have been Vicodin free now for over 30 hours. I have had some w/d symptoms and I know the next couple of days will be even harder. I do not care, I can not be a slave to this drug anymore!!! I want to be happy with out it!!! I am very hopeful I can do it. But I have tried before and failed. I need to be done with this. Any support or help would be very appreciated. I am very ashamed of myself and very embarressed. I work hard, own my home, and have two beautiful children that I take good care of. I have a loving family and friends. They do not know of my addiction and I started this so I need to finish it.

Thank you all for listening.

[cathy5841]

you are so smart to get off now.  you can do this.  you will have some bad days and some depression maybe. but you should be fine...

[sunshinedaydream3]

congrats on ur decision to quit, i was on a relatively low dose of oc, in comparison to most oc addicts.

i still experiencing withdraws.

i think u'll have some withdraws but don't think they will last as long as some others.

however, the metal side will be just as hard, bc you have become dependent on these, using them to make unfun things(cleaning house) fun

anyways, good luck to u, sounds like u've got ur head on strait and i know you can do this, quitting is sooo mental....

if u thank u can, u will
if u thank u cant, u wont

stay ntouch

[worried878]

great move i the right direction..u should be proud!

[K Todd]

Be very happy of your "1st day of the rest of your life"..

Like all of us will say, you are very smart to quit now...why you are actually ahead...even though you are addicted to 2 a day...its still and addicition.

I admire that you faced the reality of this, with not letting yourself get out of control. I think almost all of us...go until we realize we are taking double or triple the amount perscribed to us..etc..

Your making a very smart move, and you will feel anxiety....just keep your mind set and you should have victory in having your life without any Vicodin at all...

God Bless,
Todd

[DogLover723]

It really is smart of you to quit while you're ahead. Hang in there. You can do this. And you will find that you still have a blast at the zoo and the park, etc!!