Endorphins come back??

I'm a 47 year old recovering alcoholic (w/Alcoholics Anonymous) with 15 years, today, under my belt.  I have dealt with a weird pain condition (probably dysthetic vulvadynia) for 11 years and finally broke down and asked for pain killers about a year and a half ago.  I'm prescribed 5 (10mg) hydrocodone a day but, of course, being an addictive personality, I am overusing and running out early, then suffering until my "script" can be refilled.  I can handle the physical withdrawal and usually have tapered off by the time I run out early so that I don't experience any difficult physical symptoms.  The thing that's driving me crazy is that when I quit taking them, to prove that I'm still "ok" I get so depressed!  I am absolutely not interested in anything.  My arms and legs feel like they are full of lead and I can hardly get up and move around, much less cook dinner, go to work, do laundry, take care of a husband and two kids, etc...  I know now that my endorphin production is messed up but how long does that last??  I'm dealing with some stress issues, had to move from my beloved home town, hate where I am living now, lost my sponsor of (almost) 15 years to cancer this summer, boring job and I never do anything for me but when I'm off the pills I couldn't muster up the energy to do anything for me IF I could think of anything I WANTED to do.  How long does this last??  Will I ever be me again?  I used to be extremely high energy - never stopped moving - excersized, yoga.... now - nothing unless I'm on the pills.  Will I ever be me again when I quit taking the pills?  As an alcoholic, I know this can't go on... mentally it's driving me crazy and I'm having a hard time going to meetings cuz I feel like I'm not being honest.

[ochooked]

Hi Sandycat;   Welcome to the forum -----  You are at the right place.  The energy level does return and also the endorphins will stabilize.  It just takes time.  When I quit the drugs I thought that in a week or two I would be 'normal' ----- No, it takes awhile and depends on how long you used and your own system.  I have been off the Opiates for about 2 1/2 months now and am starting to feel much better -- still a ways to go though.  It is a gradual process but one day you just notice that "hey, I really feel good today."  All the best.

[intoodeepleigh]

Ohh my do I know what you are talking about.  I am taking a lot more than you though and that is my worst problem when I do stop. Even tapering as I am attempting to do the depression wakes me in the night and the lack of energy during the day is grueling.  I like you was always really active with sports and yoga, aerobics etc. and now when I don't use taking care of my two kids is more than difficult and that makes the depressed feelings even worse.  Have you heard the amino acid protocol works?  I don't know, I would try anything. Let me know if you find anything that works, it really is h***.

[worried878]

yes the amino acid protocol works...if u use it as directed..it did for me...tyrosine helped me the most as my loss of motivation after detox was significant..i was becoming a couch ornament and that is not me...i did not crack down til i knew something had to give or i would relpase...tyrosine 2000-3000 mg a day unless u have an anxiety disorder..5htp 100 mg 3 x a day for depression unless u r on an SSRI then 100 mg max dose..i now take only 100 mg each night as it helps me sleep...phenylalnine 2000-3000 mg a day helps along with tyrosine to build up doapmine that we so badly need...theanine as needed for anxiety...then u need ur B complex, a good multi and cal/mag at night...u can go much deeper if u want to but for me that was the basics

AAs are the building blox of ur receptors so it only makes since that it will work..the tyrosine is felt immediately...exercise is almost more important to stimulate the receptors to release these endorphins again as we have substituted fake ones for so long that our brain did not see a need to make them anymore like it should...u r still stuck with extra receptors we built during use for overload,,but they will go to sleep with time and quit wanting to be fed which causes us to crave

all very logical if u study up on it...good luck..u can do this

[freebird227]

In my fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous...One thing we are very clear about is a drug is a drug is a drug ,Includtng alcohol.I have been clean for 23 years.I did not go on meds for my personality dissorder until I had about 16 years. When I put a mood altering substance in my body,My desease doesn't know if its for pleasure or pain......Key note You said that you had used more than what was prescribed and was running out B-4 the end of the monthThats why you have guilt, shaame, worry about going to meetings. There is a old AA saying You can't save your  face and your but at the same time.You've suffered many losses and my heart goes out to  you But you are on a slippery slope. Please Please Please get off the pills and hit 90 mettings in90 days.Find a sponsor Get a home group where people can get to know you......You can deal with the re-lapse later.There is no shame in relaspe  the shame is in not comming backFreebird27

[lols08]

Cut out all sugar and  artificial sweetners in you diet,especially liquid intake  and you will see a big difference within a couple of weeks. Gradually reintroduce little amounts of sugar,but never use artificial sweetners. They are too toxic to your system.