Everyone

[SomebodyShootMe]

I assume my Husband is having another stage in PAWS. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar 'stage'.

He is very mellow, finally got sleep last night. The doctor prescribed some ambien and neurontin and it seemed to have really helped.  He has a somber face, with muscles tight. He is on the verge of crying. Speaking very slowly. Having ideas of making money and working and making a plan for our future (praise GOD).

He went and saw our pastor and talked with him for 2 hours also. He said he told him it was time to get his freaking head out of is ars and get going and do something (praise God).

He told me it was very difficult today but he would not give in and did not want to take any oxycontin. But that he was in a lot of pain.

We still have that option of a moraphine pump open, or a duregesic patch for pain but he is determined to try to do it without anything.

My question--- is this about the end of his acutest (is that a word, LOL), PAWS?
hugs

[sosad5306]

From what I have read, PAWS can last up to 2 years.  I think, and this is a very general statement, that for most (not all, most) 1 year is a pretty good mark for being mostly paws free.  
Remind me, please, how long has he been off the oxy?
I am very curious as I have been off oxys and vics for 8 days.

[SomebodyShootMe]

He has been off oxy for over a month, but has taken some very small amounts, like 5mg/day of hydrocodone some days not all, to ease w/d. He was taking about 240 chewed mg./day of oxy for years and years!

[sosad5306]

I would say it is totally 100% normal for him to be feeling that way!  I have major PAWS going on as well.
Definitely do some research and you will probably find it helpful and due to the information surplus, comforting.
It is totally totally normal.  You both have to be patient (I know that is terribly difficult) and let him know it is normal.  Sometimes it helps so much just to know you are not alone.
NA meetings are helping me...maybe he could go?

[SomebodyShootMe]

I have suggested them, the NA meetings. I have shared how much alanon helped me in my first marriage to an alcoholic (who died from it before 40yo).

He doesn't feel he fits. LOL. He's somewhat of an addict snob at times cuz he doesn't get his meds off the streets. Paleese, it doesn't matter how we got there, we got there, right? We are all in the same place.

Maybe I could suggest this place locally that does meetings based on the Bible but still 12 steps. He may be more open to that. I know he needs support from others, not just me. I can't handle all the stress from his problems and my problems.

[leelee71]

Just want to say that your husband is so lucky to have someone like you in his corner. It is so plain the love and caring that you feel for him. It is very touching to read about it. I feel for both of you during this time. I have to say that I really give your husband a lot of credit and have tremendous respect for him and what he is trying to do. It seems his determination is stronger than his pain and his withdrawal. I admire you both and will be following your progress and rooting for you all the way!

Good luck and I am thinking of you both :)

leelee

[sosad5306]

Pick up some NA literature or go to their website.  It really is fascinating and comforting, especially to an addict!  I know where he is, I was "snobbish" for a while because I got only prescriptions and from one doctor...but....here I am a full blown addict (in recovery i might add, lol) but my demons are lurking.  
Also, go to their website (www.na.org) and look under the section at the top titled, "demographics"...he may be surprised :)

[SomebodyShootMe]

Thanks leeleel and sosad! I will try to get him to read some more there and here. It's helped me so much knowing more of where he is in his head by reading the posts here. He has OCD so badly also which makes this so much harder for him.

um- There's nothin in my marriage vows that said I would stay as long as it was easy, nothing there said I could leave if he was sick. Now what if he had cancer and I left? The 'world' would see that as horrible but the 'world' doesn't seem to understand addiction either. The 'world' would understand my leaving him now but what would that do to him? He loves me and I love him. We are having a trial now. I decided that I would not ever leave him. Now if he ever touched me in anger, that's a new story. LOL

I try not to enable him and try to be supportive. But don't be fooled, LOL, I am not perfect! I take 10-20mg of norco a day (usually in 5mg doses) when I can't stand the arthitis anymore so I am not a perfect angel. hehehhehe.

I am suffering from horrible depression right now but if I go to a depression board, I don't think they would understand. They may think that getting rid of him is the solution where it is only a trigger, not the problem.

Oh well, thanks for letting me let it all out:)
hugs
(so, just found out that they don't let us use any HTML here, bummer!)