Fentanyl withdrawl question

[cetiya]

I am going to be going off my patch, 25 mcg, I have been on for about 4 months.  I innocently tried last month, and went into full blown withdrawl symptoms.  Now that my patches are almost gone, I am to see my pain specialist.
  What should I ask him for to make this as painless as possible?  I still have to function, go to work, sleep.  I plan on asking for Ativan, I should have some ambien still, and I also have a couple of Clonidine patches which are supposed to help too.  I'm really scared that he won't give me anything.  I hope he doesn't do that to me. i was completely useless before, and I can't lose any more time off work.  Any advice will be appreicated.

[vikequeen]

Dear Doc, what longer acting benzo would work? I have klonopin can that alone be taken for w/d from Vikes I take at the most 4-6 7.5 mg per day, for the last month and half I had 38 days clean and stupid me relapsed when my foster mother died, I used it as a crutch like some use valium when a loved one dies.

Are my W/D's gonna be bad? Thanks Doc Baddgirl

[mrchris]

You can wean down on vics, T3 or percs.  It has been my experience that opiates are interchangable.  So you should be able to stop the patch and take a vic as needed.  Duragesic (Fentanyl) withdrawl was the most painfull withdrawl I ever had.  At one point I had a 160mg oxycodone habbit and it wasn't nearly as painfull as a duragesic 25 withdrawl (and I had only been on it for 30 days).  My doctor messed up my appointment, leaving me 2 days from the time my 30 day supply was up until the next appointment.

Chris

[Diss]

It won't be easy from my past experience. I was taking the duragesic patch for about 4-5 months ending up with the 50mg patch changing it every 24 hours. This was working perfect with no side effects and no withdrawls until I had a doctors appt. and he took me off of them telling me I was getting addicted. He prescribed some persocets and told me to take them as needed. Well I took off my last patch on a Friday night and it was one of the worst things I have gone thru in my life. The shakes, sweats, chills, numbness of the hands and feet, not being able to sleep or eat for days. It has been 9 days now since going off of it and I still can't sleep. My legs are so jumpy (doctor says I have restless leg syndrome) I can't lay still in bed. I've tried sleeping pills, anti-inflamatories, percocets, tylenol 3's. Doesn't matter. If I don't get some sleep soon I don't know what I'm going to do. I have soaked in baths for hours but doesn't do anything. Please does anyone know what I can do to make my feet stop twitching so I can sleep.
                    Thanks for listening

[poptart]

I'm so very sorry to barge in your thread here, I wish I could contribute but I feel you nice people have to know something...

The poster "Rode" is also the poster "Motz" and "Mrs. Motz"

I just wanted you guys to be aware that this person is deeply disturbed...be careful.

Good luck!
~Ruthi

[Forum-M.D.-rcb]

The Klonopin would fit into the category of a longer-acting benzodiazepine. I hope that the w/d won't be bad. A lot would depend on how long you were using and how often you've cycled in the past. Hang in there.

[SarpyJesse]

Thanks for the warning, Poptart-

Yes, the butterfly has many aliases.

[SlakeStyx]

Hello,

i have been trying to post a question for a couple of days.
so i thought i would try to do it in the comments area. I had a bad back injury when i was 13. i crushed 3 vertibre in between the shoulder blades, and my spine is slightly twisted now and my vertibre are out of alignment. i was nearly paralyzed. i spent a few months in PT and taking pain meds untill insurance ran out. i have had back pain ever since the injury. a few years after the injury i was hit by a car, but i never went to get it checked out becuase i was taking illigal drugs and was scared to get caught. i had been using just about every drug you could think of during my teen years. i managed to quit all the illigal drugs about 5 years ago. i about 2 1/2 years ago i started getting vics again fairly regularly. then i moved up to vic es. then to lorocet 10/650 and propoxy-N 100/650. i relized i was addicted to them when i managed to pick up my monthly prescrip early, and it only lasted 6 days. i had been getting 120 a month from the pain doc, and spending all of my money to buy more off the streets. i was taking about 12 of each kind when i had alot of them. i would panic when i would get down to 30 or so and i didnt have money for more. i tried to taper off but with no luck. i ran out about a month ago for 3 days and was taken to the hospitol throwing up blood. the er doc ran some test and gave me scrips for nausa and some more VICS!!  
anyway i have been reading this forum for a few weeks. i dont have the money to go to a back specilist to see if anything can be done. but my pain specilist is fairly cheap. i have been off the opiates for 7 days now but i still have no energy and lots of pain. i am 25 years old and have been deppressed over all this. i been to the point of telling myself that if this is the best my life is going to get then it isnt worth trying anymore. and i feel that way on or off the drugs because of the pain. it never really goes away compleatly.
i just felt like i needed to type this in hear to see is there is anything that might be said to at least make me feel a little better. i havent been to work much in the last few months and lost my apartment.
sorry this is so long but i am new so i thought i would put everything i could in this one.
later
Slake   Styx

[vettezr1]

Wow, I definitely don’t think I have it so bad now. Sorry to hear you had to go through so much buddy. The first time I broke my back I was 23 I won’t bore you with the details but I am 43 now many broken bones later and lots of life has gone by and I won’t sell you on a bunch of **** but it is worth living every ******* bit. The pain can be pretty bad and quite a nuisance but I have lived with it most of my adult life without any type of pain meds in fact I only got caught up with the meds for a little over a year or two out of about 20 years of many surgeries.  My point is while it can be unpleasant it can be done and you can enjoy your life it takes time to get over all the stuff floating around in your system and then time to let your body figure out what type of pain you really have and how you can or can’t deal with it. Good luck.

[SarpyJesse]

I read your post and I KNOW what you mean man! It's a downward spiral that doesn't stop... You made a good first step posting what is going on in your life. The more you talk the better it will get for you-- AND it will help keep you sober!

If you need someone to talk to, you can E-Mail me here: ***@****

Jess

P.S.
"You write like the butterfly, and sting like a bee-
You'd better watch out-- You can't fool ME!" --Muhammad Ali's Brother

[lisabet]

Are you serious????  The person in question is the "butterfly"?...damn!!!!

[theGolden1]

Thanks for the warning Poptart .... I always post my email address and recieved some strange letters from a person that didn't want me to know who they were. Guess we all need to be careful ... take care, Goldie

[AlexisInTx]

Just curious (I'm so nosy) - but would that person y'all are referring to be a spanish fly (butterfly)?  Just curious, becuase that was the reason I left the board last year and it seems so nice around here now.

[cetiya]

Thanks for your help, maybe I should ask for some Valium instead of Ativan?  I'm so scared, I'm afraid of this whole thing, but will try to do it anyway, I have no choice.

[mrmichael67]

Why is the doc stopping at the 25ug/hr patch?  That certainly wouldn't be the end of the taper.  Doesn't sound too responsible to me.  The 25ug/hr patch can be equivalent to almost 70mg of oxy a day.

[babyboomer]

A few years ago I was on the patch for chronic pain and my Dr. went on vacation(this is a Known problem with Drs.)Anyway,about 12 hrs. later I went into the chills, and it was like I was standing naked in 70 below degree weather!!!Then the vomiting, then restless legg,couldn't sleep and couldn't sit still. Didn't eat for days and dehydrated something terrible. I accually went to the hospital the firt night and was there for 5 days and even with all that they did, I still was in terrible pain and agony.(small town Drs. aren't too up on withdrawl and they tend to be in denial.)THATS SCAREY!I had been on the 75mgl. Fentenal Patch. The only thing the Dr. that dismissed me said, was that they should have weaned me. HA!! How do you wean off a patch? I went on hydros after that . Today I am on methadone for chronic pain. From a pain specialist. He told me it was going to be easier on my body.DO NOT EVER GO ON IT!!  Withdrawl is as bad as the patch or worse!!I think it is just a never ending battle when you try to fight pain with narcotics. I am 50 yrs. old , and this has been going on for 12 yrs.I wish I had the magic bullit to help you. I am currently trying to keep my methadone down to a low dose. Good Luck and MANY PRAYERS FOR YOU! Boomer

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

Sorry to break the thread but i am hoping someone can answer a question for me--This morning my husband said that I had a violent "shaking episode" while sleeping last night.  He said my whole body shook and he was afraid I might be having a seizure--then he said it stopped.  I must have been sleeping soundly because I don't remember this at all--Could this still be part of the withdrawal?  I am 23 days out of hydro-hell and quite frankly I think this scared him!  The thought of it is actually worrying me, too--Has anyone else experienced this after coming off of hydrocodone or oxycodone?  Thanks in advance for any help you can give me--Peace/Prayers--N.O. Lady AKA Mystere


Anne

[peaz]

Hi Doll---I have not personally experienced anything like this, but maybe the forum MD or mrm can tell you more.  How long did it last?  Was it violent, or more like trembling?  It's kinda funny you slept through it, isn't it?  Anyway, I just don't have the W/D knowledge to answer your question, but I wanted to post to ya and say"hey" anyway.  23 days is just GREAT and  I'm sure you're inspiration for many others here who are attempting the very same thing.  We'll get that answer for ya, one way or another.  Love ya--Peazy

[AmberHunter]

i believe there are secondary withdrawls that occur either thirty or ninety days after you withdraw. i can't remember which though... and i would imagine that it is quite possible to have it happen whenever your body is releasing more of its store of narcotics... what does you husband think? he is an MD isn't he?

i can't remember what else i wanted to say here, i read all the posts and got a phone call (i am at work!) and completely lost my train of thought! lol!!!

since there are some new folks posting i am going to post my offer for the board i started. it is a very simple format, a very simple forum and it seems to be doing well. alot of one on one between addicts. it is not a "med" board, just something i put together so folks could post whatever they want whenever they wanted to. email me if you are interested: ***@**** and i will send you the link!

peace,

amber

[nwbeachin]

I went  through intense physical w/d's from Vics but never experienced the entire body shaking. This may be a stretch but have you ever had a seizure before? I ask this because of the fact that you didn't wake up...did he attempt to wake you? If so, I take that it wasn't successful...
I know that must be frightening for you not t be aware of something happening to you. I think if this were  to happen again, notify a physician as this isn't typical withdrawal from Vic.

[cetiya]

I'm not sure he won't give me anything, but I'm paranoid that he won't so I'm buying every drug I can get my hands on from the online pharmacies, spending every penny I have just in case.  I only have three patches left, then on to withdrawl hell. I'm hoping this won't last longer than a week, and I can get some sleep, I already have severe insomnia as it is, and last month when I went into wd's, I had terrible restless leg syndrome, even my arms were flying all around the bed.  I guess thats normal, from what I have read here.  I'll have to post here when I am in the middle of my hell, to get some support.

[Trying2Stop]

Hate to barge into this thread, but I just had to tell you all....2 days clean and I feel GREAT!!!  I am so happy.  And I did it before the date I had given myself.  Thank you all!!!

[pammy0690]

Way to go girl!  Keep it up and stay the course.  I think you will start to feel better in a day or two. If you can keep the determination up you can do this.  Try keep yourself distracted read books, watch TV or movies, force a little excercise.  I am so very proud of you.  Pamela

[Trying2Stop]

I'm doing it all.  I'm not depressed, I'm not bed-ridden.  I woke up this morning dry...no sweats.  It's great.  My husband is away all week for work, you'd think I would be popping left and right.  Tapering is the best....I had some valium I used for sleep.

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

Thanks to everyone who responded!  My husband did not really go into any detail about this night trembeling thing--I think my addiction still really scares him plus he feels guilty because he thinks he should have spotted it.  Anyway thanks for all the input guys--Amber--What is this pain amplification that you are talking about--because I don't remember having this much pain after my withdrawal in January--Is it my "Beast"  wanting the drugs?  I know 23 days isn't enough time to judge exactly what is going on, but I remember when Plain Old Advil used to take care of any pain that I might have--Not this time!  For some reason my neck and radicular (nerve pain) in my right arm came back with a vengence--It has become very depressing--I still have to believe that things will eventually settle down.  If not I'm not sure how long I can hold off the "Beast."  Peace and Prayers--Everyone here has been a Godsend!  N.O. Lady/AKA Mystere

Anne

[mrmichael67]

Sorry, but I have no idea what it could have been.  I am sure your husband must have been scared.  Hopefully, it was an isolated incident.  Keep up the good work.

[bmac]

Hello all It's bmac the resident troublemaker around here. It's been awhile and I am withdrawing again or should I say finally or maybe?  I won't go into my story, if you know me you already know but I am coming off Kadian, time released morphine and it ain't to bad 36 hours into it. Of course I have some of the ingredients from the 'Famous' Thomas recipe. God am I an old timer now, Jesus Christ! I have a few davacet N's and a few clonidine and a doc friend a call away if I decide I don't have enough balls to do this. And excuse my language, I am so ******* tired of being a goddamn slave to narcotics! I have withdrawn 10 times since 1989 and I am a pro kinda like MrM and Thomas. Of course I am not in their league. LOL
Cindy, I am sorry for the language and you did warn me but hell It 'gotta' come out babe!   Bill

[freezing]

I switched from 100mcg fentanyl duragesic, every 48 hours, to Suboxone.  I was on fentanyl for four months.  The first day was bad, the second, not good.  The third day good.  After that, I have felt awesome.  I have my life back.  I don't understand why more people here are not on it yet.

Best wishes to all.

freezing no more!

[gamzz]

Thank you so much for posting i was looking for somone to write about that drug ( suboxone i think or Bup)  im currently on the patch myself my dr swictched me them about 4 months ago and  he was giving me the 25mcg and after a month they werent working so instead of changing it every 72 hrs ( as perscribed) i was changing it every day or  i would cut it open. i know i know that is bad  and the worse thing i could have ever done but i did it... so anyway i  found my self short and  my dr wouldnt give me anything and it was the worse withdrawl ever! But i thought that oxys withdrawl was much worse but i guess i was wrong.!  im currently trying to find a dr that will give me that drug without having to go to rehab. there are only three drs in my area that are giving that drug out and trying to get a appt is  taking forever.. so until i get my appt to see this dr. i continue to take my pills or patch whatever i may have .  i really want to stop for me and my kids i want my life back !! anyone else taking this drug i would really appericate any feedback right now that is my only HOPE. ive heard great things about this like very little withdrawl symtoms and that is what im looking for!! good luck to all  peace

[lisabet]

Hey you...I remember you being on the board when I first came on, about 8 months ago....your responses were always kind, and I haven't forgotten that.  Just wondering...have you been clean and just relasped?  If so; you've did it before, you can do it again.  Seems like that what most people go thru...a f***** up period, then a "cleaned-up" period. If we keep on, finally, maybe-maybe-maybe we'll finally get it right...smile. Like I said, I remember you as being kind to me when I first came to the forum a total mess.  So want you to know I'm here for you now, although "no way" I'm rehabilated...smile...   I'm not totally clean, but doing better, no small thanks for the great people on this forum...the acceptance and advice I've received here has been priceless...I honestly feel I'm getting my life back a piece at a time. Hope only the same to you.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[gracie97]

Anne, I have been having EXTREMELY intense dreams since quitting. According to Rick, I have been talking loudly in my sleep / tossing/flopping and my dreams are very,very detailed, even where "I think" I can feel them, but when I wake up-(takes 5-10 minutes) I realize they were dreams and can't remember much after the first 5 minutes. (I am not taking anything to help sleep) I can remember parts of the dreams, but not all of it. Could you be experiencing this too?
YOU CAN GET THRU THIS!!!!!!!Remember the bad times, do you ever want that again? I don't....

I am starting to catch myself with silly mislips in speech, like saying Florida when I meant Nevada.(I don't remember doing this before, but an employee told me, we don't ever correct u because we know what u mean) I can't have that come back. Everyday that goes by, I am more on my game. (Not to be gross, but today I think my bowels are just now finally gettin use to the new me.) But, I also must always point out that I WAS NOT a CHRONIC PAIN patient, (except that female problem once a month, lasts 2 days max) so I may not be able to relate to that side of it. When that time did come I took Ipubrofen. BUT, RICK -was/is in pain mode and they want to do some neck "fusion" thing-he says NO F$$$$$$$ way because he is afraid of the side affects and I believe what he says, so in the pain area, I have no personal info/experience here.

I love ya girl- U have helped me sooooooooooo much, I come to this site just to know you are in this with me, we are so close in days(though I still am trying NOT to count, I really know)
You are doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are an inspiration to me,

Christina

[bmac]

Thanks! Yes we have talked several times and I do remember you coming on here and it was in August when I got here. I was coming off methadone pills for pain. I am not a user, I am a chronic pain patient. Have been since 1992. I have been on everything man could make. I have never tried heroin maybe that was my problem. LOL
I am and always will be dependant of something but every once in a while you just get tired of the hoops the DEA and the ******* pain clinic docs make you jump thru! I don't have enough time to explain that commment but man these doctor wanna be's need to take a friggin chill pill! I am 48 hours into it now and I am fine and I thank you for asking. I am an expert on withdrawing. I didn't say it was the right way but it gets easier each time.
Thanks Lisabet, I came here needing someone and you showed up, thanks again, I won't forget that!
                               Bill

[peaz]

Bmac--You know I wold do anything to help you out but unfortunately we are far away...How mudh worse are you today?  I hope you're taking what meds you have because you need to at least be humane about this.   Let me know what Mike H says. He knows you and he cares and I think he wil help you somehow.  Hang in there and keep posting. Get in the tub and fire up the bong----Love ,Peazy

[peaz]

Hey girl!!  I laughed when I read the speech/recall situation that you talked about, because sometimes I really feel like it must be baby Alzheimer's that is afflicting me.....LOL  " Hey, guys!!  We're having magazines for dinner tonight!  Oh, I mean TACOS....Yeah, that's it..."  Man!!! It's getting a little better, but I'm not sure I'll be quite as sharp as I once was.  Between drug abuse, perimenopause, and old age---what's a girl to do???!!!  Damn!
    You sound like you're doing well.  Except for the nightly histrionics, that is.....LOL Well, no one can say you're a limp noodle in the sack,  Lulu!!  You and Anne  are both going to move away from all this stuff and level out to some kind of normalcy, so stick w/ it!! I love both of you, and I feel like you're both my "charges".  So keep posting. It was good to hear from you.(even if your post was not to me. Hope it's okay that I barged in..)  Love, Peazy

[bmac]

Thanks! You seem to know me well don't you! Mike H has already taken care of that. I will be OK by later today!
You know we come here and we withdraw then we go back to our lives and once it happens again we end right back here doing it all over again. I have finally stopped beating myself up over this. I think the only reason I am going thru withdrawals is I am trying to punish myself for something. It is the strangest thing. I am in alot of pain though. Morphine really killed my pain.
I will be fine Peazy. I promise you! And I wish we didn't live so far away too. That's life a babe.
Cindy, thank you for not banning me months ago. I think you did me a favor so thank you, it is obvious I still need this place!!
             BillyinBama

[pammy0690]

Glad to hear that you came up with a solution buddy. Please do not punish yourself if you need meds for pain do not feel guilty or bad about it.  The addiction guilt is a killer.  That is way I stopped feeling guilty about taking apin meds six months ago thanks to something MrMichael said to me in the right way at the right time.  Anyway Bassman you should know that there are so many people around you who care about you so much!  You rock dude!  Your Friend, Pam

[mrmichael67]

Hang in there Bill.  We'll get you through this one.

[gracie97]

Thank you so much, I love to hear from EVERYONE! The Will and Grace thing was cute! How is everyone today? See ya tonight!

[rodewc]

After a few weeks clean, the urge to use Vike ES as an anti-depressant is unbearable.

I have 2 choices (it seems) to me:
1. Ask the doc about this patch (mentioned in thread). I was nearing 15+Vike ES a day in daily consumption.
2. (or) Continue to zone myself witn Xanax, and the very recently perscribed Ambien,(1 pill #10 MG p/nite, that I admit I am already upping it to 15-30 MG per/nite, in these initial few days.

Work is stressful, most particularly in this next month, this it is a conundrum (sp) and why I look here for advice.

Any help.  TY

rwc~

[bmac]

Hey youz guyz, bunch of yankees!
I am sooooo much better and after 60 hours I feel like a truck has runover me but at least I have taken care of the creepies!My skin finally decided to stop trying to leave my body! I don't know if it is me or the way I stopped last time but morphine seems alot easier at this point than the methadone was. So far no stomack **** and no nausia. I just have alot of brain fog and I have the shakes really bad. But those of you that know me I am the bman! I can take it. Thanks guys after all this time it is nice to know I still have some friends left out there! I love you guys and I will always remember your kindness! PEACE
                             Bill

BTW where's Hippy and Percs and Pixi? LOL That was a mouth full!

[SarpyJesse]

Bill!

Nice to see you posting here again. I think you'll find that withdrawling from Morphine will be easier for you than many other drugs..... Thank God that nobody's suggested that you go back on methadone-- I know you had a hell of a time dealing with that withdrawl.

As for where the girls are? I have no Idea.... I see the Hippee over on another forum often.

About being a slave to narcotics; you couldn't be more correct in your phrasing.... It is "Slavery" whether you are an addict, dependant, or both. Going to a clinic to get one's methadone dose for the day has to be embarassing, and even dehumanizing, for the person who's strictly a chronic pain patient.

I hope you're through the "Worst" of it in your withdrawl!

Jesse

[mrmichael67]

I feel bad for those that feel that way.

[mrmichael67]

Of course, I am speaking for myself.  But, I don't feel embarrased or dehumanized at all when I go to the clinic.  I go there, park, get out of my car, go in and take my meds, and leave.....all in about five minutes average.  It really isn't a big event to get all embarrased or dehumanized over.....at least for me it isn't.  I don't understand why people allude to this or that when they haven't the slightest.

[SarpyJesse]

I think that the fact that they make you come *every day* to get your medication is the embarrassing part... The fact that in many cases of MMT, you're subliminally being told EVERY DAY that you cannot be trusted-- not everyone can get "Take home" doses-- And in many cases, you are just walking $$$ for the clinic.... Corresponding with quite a few people, and reading posts regarding methadone on MANY different boards is why I sense the dehumanized feelings that so many seem to have. I think that of ALL the posts I've read, your positive outlook regarding MMT is very rare... However, I understand that you do have a legitimate reason (Pain patient) to continue the methadone either for the rest of your life, or if new surgical techniques can repair the damage left in your back (caused by the operations that incompetent physicians tried on you—Is that correct?)

I just wanted to reiterate the fact that you are the only person that I've encountered either personally, or online, who has such a positive outlook on MMT. What do YOU personally find as a "Con" regarding MMT (You have listed all the Pros).

Thanks,
Jesse

[oxic]

Hey Billy,

......sorry haven't been around here for a bit.
Hang in there brother.  You kicked the **** out Meth; and helped a ton of us along the way, so i know you'll do the same to the Kadian.

It was great to talk with you today; and i'll email you in the morning.  Stay tough buddy.

Hey Peazy, Pammy, Methman,Lisabet and everyone; i hope you are all hangin in.........i hope i can get caught up with you very soon!!   Take Care


percs

[bmac]

Thanks guys. I still see the BS amoung some of you but hell I find it amusing myself. I hope everyone noticed I bailed when it all hit BTW. That's why I haven't been around in awhile because all of a sudden I go out of town and come back and this huge bunch of **** happened and all these people I thought were friends I haven't heard a word since. The few of you that have kept in touch know what I am going thru personally. It is obvious the rest could really care less. This isn't directed at anyone person please understand this. I just was under the impression we all we a big group of friends and as I said I go play one weekend and come back and everybody banned everybody. You guys are acting like a bunch of high school cheerleaders.
Sorry if I step on any toes but hell somebody needed to say it.
It makes me sick to think some of you acted as if I was a friend and I gave everything I had to you guys and this **** happened.
Please in the future could you guys and you know of what group I speak of, please grow the F*** UP! Please! IMHO, Bmac

[lisabet]

hey percs----glad to see ya posting; been wondering about ya, but peazy said a few days ago you've been working a lot...anyway, glad to hear from ya, you old smelly dog!!!...smile.  I'm doing well, better than usual....seems to be better every day....(slowly, but surely, ya know?)....Love ya, Lisabet

[bmac]

Thanks for posting back. It was needed!

[AlexisInTx]

I remember you from awhile ago, but as I was re-lapsing, you were just arriving here, so we didn't talk too much.

I do remember you being an incredible inspiration to many here in a short amount of time and the hell you went through.  It breaks my heart to hear that you're having a hard time.  I'm going through pretty bad w/d's, so I apologize if this sounds out of sorrts.  I just understand what it's like to relapse (have done this many a time) and that there ARE people here who care.  I left because there was a problem with identity theft and we don't need that on top of everything else (sorry to *****!!).

It's the hardest thing in the world I've EVER done, but I'm bound and determined to do it, what choice is there?  I hope you find like minded people who can relate to what you're going through, there's me ya know and many others who are absolutely wonderful.  The board, to me, has taken on a new life (a GOOD one), so I hope you can reap some benefit from the wisdom of the good folks here (you are one of them!).

I always feel secluded, in a shell and it helps me to write.  I know that occupying my days this way is not always constructive, but it passes the time and allows for me to choose a positive path, whereas before I would have gone for the pills.  I know you're dealing with pain and that's has to be so hard, but I think that you can find the help you need if you can just find a doctor who understands just what you've been through, what you've gone through and what you need to lead a productive lift sans depression and pain.  Easier said than done.  I have been through so many doctors, and none could help me.  I'm still looking.  As long as we're taking pro-active steps to heal our inner and outer self, we are in the right direction.  So many times I've said, &^uck this and just gotten my pills refilled.  Too easy for my own predicament.

Sorry to make this about myself, but I wanted to let you know that you left an impact on me when I was posting awhile ago, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for you for keeping on with this.   Man, I feel like **** right now (can't sleep but tired) and since this is number 72 (just a guess -- haha) in the w/d dept., I can always say that I don't want this to get any worse so I have to end it here.  I don't have chronic pain to contend with anymore (did at one point which in turn got me addicted), and you do and deserve to live a fulfilling life that's not filled with pain and withdrawal.  PLEASE know that your presence has helped many.  You have put aside your own pain to help others, and that should make you feel proud.  

Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Alexis

[AlexisInTx]

I wanted to clarify a phrase I made that sounded dumb.  

"there's me ya know and many others who are absolutely wonderful"

I was meaning that whenever you needed someone to talk to there's me, and then there are the others that are wonderful at giving advice.  I haven't been doling advice out long enough or would ever consider myself in the crowd that gives out the great advice.  *Stupid *Stupid* Chris Farley moment whilst slapping my forehead.  Remember, remember when you came here trying to get off of meth and people were giving you some of their own experiences?  That was awesome.  Gotta watch those old SNL re-runs.  Funny stuff.  Especially when Paul McCartney came on and Chris said, "And In The End, The Love You Take Is Equal To The Love You Make" -- then said, "is that true".  Gotta love it.

(Another Chris Farley thing).  Just wanted to make sure it didn't sound as if I were grouping myself in with those who are regulars and post some incredibly wise advice that have helped me a lot.  Okay, done now an off to bed with 2 mg. Xanax to help me sleep.

Alexis