Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Fighting over Vicodin

These Pills are horrible in sooo many ways yet the cravings are insane.  I had given the pills to my fiancee to help me control how many i take.  Well It was supposed to be like 2 7.5 vicodinES maybe 3 times  a day.  Well this morning first dose I told her please give me 3 and then the rest will be only 2 i PROMISE!  Well doese 2 comes up and i ask for 3 again. She says no hundred times and I just dont take no for an answer. She got so frustrated that she threw the bottle at me and left the house saying do whatever the f@@k you want.  So what do I do?: I pop 4 of them. How pathetic...  I dont expect kind words, or nice responses because so many are actually trying to quit.  I on the other hand am just bailing out.  Whoever reads this that is actually withdrawling right now, use this as a reason to stay clean and keep working it.  See how bad of decisions we can make because of these damn pills?!!!!!! GGOD LUCK TO EVERYONE THAT IS DOING IT! GOD BLESS
35 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I am sufferind from WD day 3 My mom is a nurse and I finally told her today and to my suprise she knew exactly when I started abusing. She had a solution. She sent me to a Homeopathic Pharmacy. The lady gave me a box for 26.99 called Ultimate Detox and Cleanse (By: Micheal's Naturopathic Programs) 3 doses a day with food and lots of water. I am on dose 2 for the day and 50% of the WD symptoms have subsided. Find It it works. I am going to go throught the 2 weeks like the box recomends and supplies. It supposedly removes the chemical toxins of Vicodin through urine excretion. My legs have been killing me restless as all hell and she gave me a small bottle of "Restless Legs" (By: Hylands) it is a Homepathic tablet that disolves under your tounge and wow is helped so much. Have faith, have GOD and all will be better. I am here to if you need to chat. I am a strong business man whop cannot be beat, but I let a small pill whip me nd now I will whip it.
Helpful - 1
237152 tn?1206651036
I am in full withdrawal as I type this.  Upset stomach, no energy.  But the emotional withdrawal is always by far the worst for me.  I have fought all day to not cry.  I can't talk without my voice breaking.  The tears well up and I fight like hell to stay composed.  What a tough guy, huh?  Merry Christmas, huh?  I have done this all before.  I started seeing a shrink for help.  Another Dr. in his office is certified to prescribe Suboxone, but  I don't know whether to try it or not.  It's just masking the problem, I think.  I know why I keep going back.  The quick fix is better than this hell I feel right now.  My wife just left for work and I have three kids to take care of on my own through this.  I know the time will pass, but this is complete hell.  SEVERE depression.  Hydrocodone is prison for those of us who choose to misuse.  Good luck to anyone else suffering these withdrawals.  
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Yeah , funny how taking the pills makes everythng ok no matter what the situation. cold turkey and massive vitamins , hot baths and sobbing along with prayer helps the most. Norco or whatever opiate your on certainly puts a feeling of well being in you and gives plent of enery. Hell it may be the cure for depression and anxiety disorders. 3 days is the hell ride and then finding yourself again could be the challenge. I discovered I am the same person on the stuff as I am off it , but my the perception of my self is much diffrent on it than off it. I am much more comfortable being a goof ball on the Norco. I am much more comfortable letting my work slide on the Norco, but I do not realize it, I think I am performing at peak performance on it but I am not.

I believe in the abilities of the medician, it takes pain away for me so quickly and effectively I call it a miracle. I can not live with the addiction though and the feeling that without it , I am not me....when it is actually just the opposite.

No matter how many times I try to control the daily dose , I always go over and am always short before the next refill. Need energy, take the norco, need increased personalty boost , take a Norco, Not sure when I am was taking it for pain anymore????  I do have pain , chronic but If I cant limit my dose to the prescribed allowance then I am an addict aren't I. I struglled for a long long time with this and it took time to retrain my mind to understand the addiction. ecspecially when there is a legitimate reason for taking it. I started taking it for pain and instantly no longer had to take depression medications anymore. Norco cured me of anxiety and depression , even after stopping taking it.

Sure the first 3 days are hard. take alot of Hot Baths and you will have the Runs and stomach aches and you will feel like your world has ended. But it has just begun, after 3 days you'll find yourself doing the stuff you used to enjoy before your started taking it, I caught my self singiing in the shower, writing songs and poems, stuff I didn't think about for 6 years suddenly popped back into my head as if it was yesterday. I began to remember who I was.

The Norco does work very effectivly for Pain and Depression and Anxiety and maybe the addiction is the trade off for some people. But Norco shuts part of you off. It shuts of little aspects of your personality.

Anyway just mentaly perpare to suffer, because it is through suffering that we gain wisdom and grow. I could not do it without Jesus. No way No how. I would just weep to him to help me , ofcourse if he just snapped his fingers and I was healed , what would I have learned. I learned a great deal about who I am through the suffrering of withdrawl. Man or Woman Up and be victorious. Its time to grow up my friend
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
So it sounds like you are saying you will fight to stay on the the pills rather than fight to get off. Who will feed you your then, your fiancee is not going to do it after today. You couldn't stick to the taper today so how are you going to take them as prescribed? I hope your financee can hang in there with you because she is having a hard time seeing the real you and how long do you think she will wait?
Do you think things will get better for you in 1 month or 1 year. Thats the lie I kept telling myself, as I had to keep changing jobs because of poor performance, relationship GONE with my wife, bills piling up etc. No one likes to hear this but you are going downhill my friend and if you want to wait untill you get to the bottom than so be it, the bottom will be waiting for you and it's not a pretty place to be. What's it going to take to light that fire under your *ss to see where your are?  All those words were said to me but i wanted both my drugs and still looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and when i got to the light it was a train!  I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do.
Helpful - 1
350801 tn?1201924763
I think we keep taking more because sub-consciously we want to get rid of them. Do you want to stop or have a nice and neat maintainence program? 3 every 4 hours for the rest of your life? Do you think you get get your chick to go for that....Be The Dispenser or something? I know I sound nasty, but I am trying to get you to jump the track with your thought processes here. You can quit. It might take 3 months, 3 weeks or a year from when you really decide to do it. But the seed is planted, see? If you don't want to quit, but use, then picture this: You girl has the bottle, and she gives you 3 every 3 hours - No, 3 every 2 hours. That's not right, 4 every 3 hours. Shoot, she just left, and you are taking 5 every 90 minutes. It's your choice. Please keep in touch. When you want to stop, we will be here.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
I will have insurance kick in with the new year(FINALLY)  I am tempted to try and get new docs to give me more pills and play that game all over again, also have discussed just trying to do the suboxone treatment.  I have some major questions about that but will start a new post for that.. Thanks
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes i was a very heavy pot smoker for many many years.  I have only left it alone due to being such an addict to the pills.  As mentioned above I NEVER  mix the sh!t...  The cocaine was bad for me too. It started with doing a sheet(mixing baking soda with coke, little water and smearing it on foil then burning it from the bottom and using a straw to suck up the smoke).. Just made me feel numb, didn't get high.  Then I tried snorting a line. I felt like I was a god. I wanted to feel that way forever.  And spent a fortune trying.  Then had a good hookup that I tired crack with for my first time and I liked it.  I used and abused that **** for abour 2 yrs 15-17yrs old. Then like I said went to rehab and have been clean for going on 10 yrs now.

I get my Drug of choice on the 28th which is the 15mg immediete release oxycodone. Actually prefer them to oxycontin.  I will get 90-100 of them at $2.00 a piece(great price for here) but I have to give 25 of them to the person I got the 4 80mg oxycontin from.  Vicious cycle my friend. I am glad to know I am not alone, but no glad we are addicted ya know what i mean?  I hope we can fight it one day and beat this sh!t man.. thanks for chatting bro. Take care and have a great christmas!
Helpful - 0
237152 tn?1206651036
I knew by your screenname weed was there.  I used to smoke like a dirty chimney, but then it started making me really paranoid all the time, and it felt like my heart was going to pop sometimes, so  Iweaned off it.  Occasional relapse, but rarely.  Cocaine was a problem.  I did it almost everyday for over a year.  Bought it large quantities at a time.  Much cheaper.  Had a really good connection.  Then I started getting the feeling like I would never come down, then major paranoia set in, not to mention daily nosebleeds and nightly swollen sinuses to the point of not being able to pass any air at all through them.  I finally threw what I had away and haven't done it since.  Lost my guy's #.  Then the vics helped getting over the coke, then  I f***** up my back again, and the downward spiral keeps going.  The thing people don't get is that the addict feels worse about himself than anyone else ever could.  Self loathing sets in, and of course the cure for that is another pill or puff or snort or whatever.  It's a battle.  Merry X-mas my man and just know you aren't alone.  I have a refill coming in a few days and I know I'll cave again.  You're not the only one.  Thanks for chatting, bro.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel you man. I just got four 80mg oxycontin today and broke one in half and took it right away, and then waited like 6 hours(usaully i wait 2) then took another 40mg.  I am OUT OF CONTROL MAN.  My life is one bad choice to another. What is fu*^%^% is that I know what the problem is. I know what needs to change to make it better but just can't. Or choose not to due to being so frigging weak.  Thanks for talking with me man. I also used to be addicted to cocaine, booze, and weed. Beat them all but the pills and the weed.  I NEVER SMOKE WHEN I TAKE PILLS--NEVER-- I hate the mixture feeling. But when I have no pills I try and get that good a$$ chronic weed and just blaze like cheech and chong. Doeant really help alot, but I dont make the best choices. I hopw we can one day conquer this sh!t man. GREAT LUCK TO YOU BROTHER! Merry x-mas
Helpful - 0
237152 tn?1206651036
I tried to taper a little but it didn't work.  I started withdrawing while in the taper so I just took what I had left and enjoyed it.  Now I pay the price.  In the movie 8mm there's a great line, "If you dance with the devil the devil don't change, he changes you."  Or a philosopher, Nieztche I believe, once said, "If you stare too long into the abyss, soon the abyss begins staring into you." That sums up these pills well, I think.  They are always the same, they will always be the same, and we weren't always under their control.  We chose to dance, we chose to stare, now we have lost control.  I've been dancing with Norco, cocaine, and pot for a long time.  I've quit two, but these f****** Norcos are the devil in disguise.  Sold my soul to feel like someone else.  I got what I was searching for, some great times, great buzzes.  But now I don't know who the f*** I am.  Danced a waltz with the devil, stared into the abyss because I had to know what was on the other side.  Now I don't know what I am anymore.  Damn this addictive gene and my own stupid curiosity and lack of self-confidence.  Hang in there, brother.  I think you know the tale.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I did so good yesterday compared to my normal.  I woke up and tried taking a half of a 7.5vicodin but that didnt do anything. After 3 hours of w/d I gave in and took 4 of them. Waited for what seemed like forever, then took 3 1/2 with a soma at 5:00pm I stayed up until 12:30am christmas morning WITHOUT taking anything else but ibprofen and klonopin. I was proud.  I now have only 7 5mg vicodin and a 30mg mscontin(dont really like)  I woke up and took 4 of the 5mg vicodin(should have only taken 3, so now i have 3 of them left along with that 30mg mscontin.  I am hoping to make the vicodin last the entire day and night, and save the mscontin for tomarrow. I have to take a 4 hour round trip to take a mother in law home.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey you should be able to handle it. Remember. the discomfort is inside of you, no else can see it, so be yourself and push through it. engage engage engage, you'll be at your best when you force yourself to interact with others even though everything insde you is saying "go hide" but day 4 should be a turnng point for you, take a nice hot shower or bath before people strt getting there, and while in the shower, before your get out , turn the water on ice cold for just about 3 seconds :-) this will kick your natural endorphines into gear. During the day and night tomorrow splash some cold water on your face. Day 4 is the way back to you so make it through and day 5 is much easier, you'll be going back and forth till about day 6 and 7 and then your brain will finally come to the conclusion its not getting any more. IT ALL IN OUR HEADS. Have a Good day tomorrow. We have to decide to be well. Our brains are marvelous creations. We are in control.
Helpful - 0
237152 tn?1206651036
I am on day 3 off of norcos and feeling pretty lousy today, and we have about 25 people coming over!!  You are not alone.  I looked in the mirror this morning and said to myself that  I look lke hell.  I do.  Just know you are not alone my friend.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are right about the ovedose thing.  I havent had any symtoms, but it is just a matter of time if I keep that sh!t up.  The only reason i even take so much of that extreme tylenol is because that is the only vicodin that i could get and each one has 750mg of it in there. I prefer to have just the narcotic.  I am so used to extreme amounts of oxycontin that when I got these it was like chewing mints.  They really didnt even get me high as I took more and more to try.  

Right now I have 8 7.5 750 vicodin left and I woke up this morning wanting to pop 4 or 5 at one time REALLY BAD! but thought "what about x=mas" I really need to at least take control even if it is for these 8 pills to last.  Yes I am trying to make them last to get to the 28th when my best hook-up gets his meds re-filled which is 15mg oxycodone immediete rlease pills. I get 90-100 of them off him for $2.00 per pill  Which for around here is a good deal(especially since it is my drug of choice)  My plan is to just make those 90 last all month so that there is no w/d.  That would be taking just 3 of them a day(which i have never done yet)  I usually take 18-22 of them per day because they really get me high and make me feel great. at least what I think feeling great is as being a f%#@! up addict!  Thanks for talking to me about this.  I really want to be better, or at least control this, but I a such an addictive personality it IS SO FRIGGIN HARD!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Like I said it take some mental preperation. I suggest you do it over a vacation from work or during some downtime. My final time, I started on a Thursday , during the work week. I am on stage everyday at work, people come in and out of my office like a Mall. I was so scared!!! I did not know how to act or what to say, my insides were screaming out!!!!!!!! pure toture man. By the following Thursday I was the spokesperson for recovery. I typically hate people like that, But wow what a ride. ITS A QUICK turnaround. 7 DAYS I was restored back to who I was. You were right to say that maybe you do not want to, I found if it was available there was no way I was going to quit. I had to run out, and then the last Time I ran out 10 days before my script was to be filled. I was in big trouble. What do I do? Shocking the thoughts that ran through my head so I could get more. Do i hurt myself so I can go to the ER and get pain meds??? And worse thoughts than that, that if I would have acted on them would have ruined my life and lives of my wife and son. Its a bizarre experience. You are educating yourself about the addiction. HBO has a really good series on addiction and it shows how your brain actually changes, the good news is that it changes back once you get the **** out of your system. Takes a little while though. Opaiates are the same thing Herion is made out of so do the math about what your up against. Herion addcts and pain pll abusers are the same breed my friend. Ask yourself, What are you willing to lose to continue on this path. Taking 25 7.5 a day is at a overdose level. Your heart could stop at that level and your respiration cease while sleeping. Do your eyes flutter in your head---sign of overdose.

If you are taking 25 and can not see yourself  going cold turkey then cut down to by halves each day. 25 to 13 , then 13 to 6 then 6 to 3 and then 3 to 1 and stay on 1 or 2 for about a week. then go to .5 for a week  and then .25 for a week.  you will be amazed how .25 mg actually helps.

There is no way you need 25 7.5 . I thnk the most anyone would need even for chronic pain would be about 80 mg a day, that would be 8 Norco (10mg each) a day and probably could get away with 6 if there is a night time muscle relaxant such as soma.

I've been a chronic pain sufferer for years so I know the ropes pretty well. I believe in the medications ability to truly help people, but we as individuals have to decide if it is worth the cost which could be and most definitly will be addiction and even possibly death if we abuse. We all respond diffrently to medications , nothing worked for me except Vicodin , which is Norco. but finally decided it wasn't worth the dependance. You will love the freedom that is waiting for you once you decide to step away , look up . When you discover that all ths time you have been crawling when in actuality

you could fly.
Helpful - 0
353208 tn?1260866985
My bad, it was hard to tell from the small pic.  A Pontiac Custom is a bit of a rare bird, pardon the pun.  I have owned a '69 Camaro for 28 of the last 30 years, it's my favorite if you couldn't tell.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
That is a pontiac custom, but close guess.  I had a 1968 Rally Sport Camero 2 door hard top.  I will post it to my name when I can. I agree Camero's RULE!  Thanks for the kind words.
Helpful - 0
353208 tn?1260866985
Edit the second sentance to read "Hiding under the fog of hydro's is NOT the true you,"  
I appologize for any misunderstanding of my post and am in no way dogging you, and am trying to pull my foot out of my typing hand:)
Helpful - 0
353208 tn?1260866985
If there is one thing that I've learned is that you can do it.  Hiding under the fog of hydro's is the true you, I know this because I was soo lost, and numb by them.  Alot of us have chronic pain, I am hurting right now, but have no desire to take.  I know that your day will come, you DO have it within yourself.  And if you ever need anyone to "talk" to, please feel free.
BTW, nice Olds you got there, too bad it's not a Camaro:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Man, I have looked in the mirror like you said before and I can't even see myself anymore, at least my true self.  I have taken 50 7.5 750mg vicodin in the past 2 days and the night isnt even over. Imagine what that is doing to my liver.  I appriaciate the confidence you have to say I can do it. But at this point I JUST CANT! or better put I just CHOOSE NOT TO! Which is the cowards way out. Thanks for the support. Maybe one day I can find strength like you have. Congratulations on your sobriety! GOD BLESS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!  I am going to go bake some peanut butter balls with my fiancee and mother and law.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Get up right now and look in the mirror. I mean really look into your own eyes for a few minutes. You can do this. its time.

Trust the lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understandng ; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will guide your paths.

Don't mean to convert you or anything but I am always closest to god in my suffering; kind of makes me want to stay there close to him.

I made my little Norco my God though, 10mg of well being and then I would take tylenol rapid release 500 mg to try and boost the effect. Man I was killing myself. who knows the damage I did to my liver. I am serous I was doing about 120mg of Norco and then 5500mg of tylenol to try and boost the Norco. I have a wife and a son whom I love dearly. Let me tell you my friend get a hold of it now or you will ruin your life and horribly damage all those who love you. YOU DO NOT NEED IT.
Helpful - 0
300207 tn?1227222722
Man! its nice to know Im not "the only one".. alot of the things you guys said, is how I live everyday. You guys nailed it to a "T". thanks for your words............
Helpful - 0
237152 tn?1206651036
I am on Day 2 and actually feel ok today.  Yesterday was hell, but I'm making it through today ok.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I'll face it.  I took vitamins, branch-chain amino acids, exercised, drank some green tea, took a nice, hot shower, and a few Klonopin.  I also tried to stay busy.  And my Bears were on today and played awesome!!  Too bad they decide to play good when it's too late.  Ahh, the troubles of being a sports fan in Chicago....Good luck and I am working towards day 3!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
that made me laugh.  You are right, and that is what happens.
Helpful - 0
2
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.