Fiorinal/Fioracet - Wanting another child

I have been here before, but not to get into detail too much, I am finally ready to "officially' kick this ****. I have fessed up to my doc, but have had my other docs that I hopped to prescribe here and there, this drug.  I have been on and off of this for about 2 years... addiction really bad last summer, slipped back into the habit in the fall-Feb.(on and off, never more than 8 pills/day) -- With my latest "bout" with the firoinal being the last 2 pills this morning... 42 of them lasting me only a week. I'm exhausted being in the pill-chasing mode, tired of chasing and the huge crash of energy I have (or lack of) -- the feeling of NEEDING them, the hiding (this is the first time I've "hid" them, this time, most of the time I've fessed up to my husband), the money draining, the feelings of depression and mood swings this causes, but most of all, our want for another child. I NEED MY BODY HEALTHY!  Now, there isn't any way of my getting any more, as my docs all know of my addiction and/or plans for another child, SO... my question is.... for my doc that thinks I've been clean since last summer... my husband knows it was this year, but thinks it was Jan.... how long is right for concieving?? How can I get my body back to norm. again? What can I do to increase my energy and WANT for more (for the energy?)  

Thank you for any help you can give me - I'm sorry if this has jumped around, I'm flustered and totally in a rush typing this.

[sudie58]

hi, do you mean fioricet? because you need to taper off that, as its a barbiturate,and not good to stop dead.  its a bit quiet at the moment, but i am sure someone with the right experience will advise you, , take care

[vicki595]

Hi--  Did the doctor tell you to taper off this?  It's important that you do...it's my first concern. There's an enormous seizure risk abruptly stopping Fioricet.

To me,having been there,it takes about 3 months to be fit. That also gives you the time to be sure you stay off of this stuff. It has a way of calling your name...

Then...EXERCISE. That's the biggie. You need to get your heart pumping. Then,the energy will return.

Good luck and tell the truth!

[2ndTimer22]

Hi -
there is no taper this time around - as the first time, there was, the past few times, I've just really abused them for a week here and there....

It's actually Fiorinal, and I should add, that I am on Topamax (an anti-seizure) for migraines (kinda like an oxymoron,eh? lol)

Vicki- yes - why does it call your name so much? I have NEVER had a problem with anything else before. I could use anything else and it not affect me, other drugs - painkillers - even make me sick! Why is this like my "crack?" I don't get it! It's so sad, because if I stay down this road- it will kill me, it's so not good for me.

Three months seems SO long for me. But, it's worth it. I want another child, I want to be healthy, ESPECIALLY for my family that is already here - as well as myself.   Exercise... eek - I will try that -- I've been so lazy when I'm not "on" it, I feel like w/o it, I have NO drive to even DO anything. Then, my brain "tricks" me into thinking I need more to function.

[vicki595]

Oh...how I've been there!!   It's awful and I loved it and it loved me back.  It nearly killed me and still...UCK!!   I didn't stop...so please just stop and get some support for this.

I've been over the love affair for almost a year and I feel great!!  I promise!  Energy,happiness,sadness,I feel everything...I'm back!!    It took a lot of help and support
and i kicked and screamed all the way but it's finally over.   It really is like crack,huh? And,yes,I could take anything else(still can) and just walk away...but this stuff, I was loyal to it only and it owned me!  I've never done crack...LOL But I figure it's like it!

The exercise will give you energy,it really will. Just walk every morning for 1/2 hour,that's all. Just MOVE!

All the best!!

[2ndTimer22]

oh how I am so glad that I am not the only one that it has done this to. I really feel like it's got it's nails so deep within my skin that I won't ever be able to break free! I too, haven't ever done crack, however I assume, as well, that it's like that -- hooked at once... and I was hooked from that moment I took it again. I have no idea why I started taking it again- to get through a rough patch? To get through a migraine? I don't even remember (that's another thing--- does this crap make you stupid or am I just losing my mind? lol) but taking it again was the WORST thing I'd ever done. It's ruined me, it's all I think about, my "me" has vanished and I want it back. It's like I am fine for awhile, and then, BOOM - out of nowhere, it calls, I listen - and I'm back.  This time, though, I have it in my head that I'm doing this for me. My kids, and my other child that isn't here yet. I need and want to be healthy. .  I can't wait to feel--- actually FEEEEEEL -- those real emotions again! like I said, I have totally screwed up my body... every few weeks or month or so, I'm back on, and my body is so f'd up.... I can't wait to get back to normal! And, be ME and Happy!   I do have topamax to prevent headaches as well as Imitrex for attacks, as well as excedrine. Any other suggestions to get me through the first few days that could be bad? I don't have the one w/ codiene, so any idea if I'll have any "physical" symptoms? I've done this before, but I don't remember. I feel like I've been in this "barb" haze for this past week and don't remember anything. And that *****! :(  
I won't have to taper off of my other meds until we are actively trying for a baby, and right now, we are not... fortunately, I still have an IUD until May, so I don't have to worry. ;)  but, then I will have to worry about freaking about getting migraines w/o the topamax. eek. (ahhh such things I worry about!)

Thanks for all of this help thus far! I really really appreciate it! hugs to you!

[my_mayberry]

reading  your last post reminds me so much of the situation i continue to go through. i make it a few weeks, then i'm back on it. you aren't alone.

the sad thing with this drug is that if you read through this forum, often times you see people posting who've had decades-long addictions. i don't know what it is about this drug, but its EXTREMELY HARD to kick. aftercare is important...but its hard, sometimes. if you go to an NA or AA meeting, everyone looks at you like they have no idea what you're talking about when you mention 'barbiturate'.....so do therapists. i discussed barbiturate addiction with a therapist once and they started talking about everything they knew on the subject of BENZO'S. i've taken both..the simple truth is that the 2 aren't even CLOSE when it comes to addictive properties. you may as well be comparing tylenol to morphine, as far as i'm concerned.

granted, each person has their own drug of choice. this is why treated YOU is more important than doing what everyone else has tried to do. we all do our drug of choice for different reasons.....we started for different reasons....we like what we like for different reasons....its all different for each of us. you need to find the best method of aftercare for you and a plan for dealing with the urges that you KNOW will come.

let me tell you....i don't know how long you've gone 'clean' but i've made it right around 5 years and slipped. you'd think after that amount of time, you'd be able to keep control, but slipping becomes quite easy with time. you get too confident in yourself. you think just one won't hurt..and since the urges are always there in the background, it only takes one 'yes' to end everything you gain.

recovery is a work in progress. i'm learning that myself. there's no 'get better over night' scenario. its life-long. i have given up the idea that i will be clean for the rest of my life. not that it isn't a long term wish for me, but for now i just focus on this month and this year. so far, this year i've been clean more than any in the past 5 years combined. this is my goal for now. i've slipped. i even slipped today...but i'm working on it and so far i've made huge progress.

if you are at a point where you do not need a taper, then thats good. thats what you said, right? because we always talk about tapering with this drug in this forum.....and this is because most people take it every day for months or years and YES that needs a taper....but if you've done the taper and you're at a 'on  again, off again' period in your addiction, it DOES make it easier. this drug can be used safely for a few days without needing a taper. thats what it was designed for. the problem is taking it all the time. what i'm getting at is that right now, i'm at a point where i'm not really taking this drug any more than what its intended to be used...which means when i fall off the wagon, i don't need some elaborate taper to get me back on. this is a blessing in some ways because the taper can be excrutiating.  however, only you and your doctor know if you're at the point where tapering isn't needed. still...once you're at this point, then it becomes easier to take things one day at a time. thats all you can do. and find aftercare!

walking/running/biking.....those are all things that give you one heck of a natural high. i have found them to be extremely useful to me. maybe you'll find use in them, too?

[Devonlee]

I just wanted to mention that you are freaking out about migrianes when you get off of all your meds when you get pregnant way ahead of time....dont freak out!! When I got pregnant I lucked out and didnt get any migraines nor did they return for a few years so you might luck out too! Dont owrry about stuff that MAY happen because that will definitly not help with gettting off of your DOC. Good luck with everything...

[my_mayberry]

my migraines virtually vanish when i'm not taking butalbital....and the ones i DO get aren't nearly as severe. maybe you will find the same results?

[2ndTimer22]

I've noticed that I'm antsy... I'm clean.. but totally antsy... and no motivation. I'm trying though! :) It's a struggle, I feel the devil (butalbital) calling my name every few hours. I breathe deeply, concentrate, pray, and get through it. I know I am stronger than it is!

[vicki595]

If you continue to push yourself HARD during this time,you'll find that it gets easier as every day goes by.

I had to laugh at what Mayberry said!  The first two doctors(therapists) I went to kept treating this as an opiate addiction!  It's just not!!   It's bad but so different!  Anyway,it was my own physician who "got it" and she's been my "addictionologist". I have other avenues of support,as well.  I've always said,this drug gets no respect!  So,I can relate to what you're going through. It's very tough!

Just stay commited to this and stay focused. I learned awhile back to just live in the moment. It's the best thing I ever did. I don't think about yesterday and really don't worry about tomorrow. It's the only way for me. Try it...

About being pregnant:  I was an addict before I got pregnant. Fortunately, my use hadn't escalated to what it became and I just stopped taking the pills. At that time,I didn't take them everyday...
Once I knew I was pregnant,I was done. I had one migraine during the entire pregnancy, took Tylenol and went to bed with an ice pack.  That was it!  I did very well.  I took nothing while pregnant...Don't even ask me why I started up again after...big mistake!!  

Don't worry about this. The antsy feeling right now is normal. Keep pushing the fluids and get some exercise. I promise you,it works!

Being stronger than the addiction is debatable. It's an insidious animal...Be sure you have all the right support and keep posting here!

[2ndTimer22]

I have relapsed... this is horrible. Please say that this gets better. I have been using again since tuesday. wrecked my 6 days clean. totally made up a lie to get more to a doc who's not even my doc and won't see me again.. I'm SO SICK OF THIS! HELP!

[my_mayberry]

yeah, it happens. i've been replapsing on and off again all year. you AREN'T back to square 1, though. for example, the past 4 months of my life are the cleanest 4 months i've had in a LONG LONG time...but yes, i've relapsed a lot during that time. my hope is that the next 4 months will be even better.

start again....get more clean time in. the more you get, the easier it gets even when you do relapse. don't think of it as a failure, think of the clean time you accomplished and start again. it's a long process to get clean.

[2ndTimer22]

thank you my_mayberry. I really needed that!! :) I have been feeling so incredibly depressed lately. I don't know what gives.

[my_mayberry]

i think the absolute worst part of the withdrawal isn't the anxiety but the depression. the depression is part of the withdrawal and lasts longer than any of the other symptoms. there are things you can do to help with it though. excercise being a big one! not really big time excercise....but just a 30 to 45 minute walk every day helps.