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First Post.....
First, I want to say this site offers an attitude that encourages us, as flawed humans, to not think of ourselves as the "scum of the earth" because we are addicted. We all know we are pathetic and have excuses, denials and justifications for the demon we carry. Having said that.... we are still worthy of existing with the other flawed humans that live.
So, here it is!
I have been taking (daily) 4 Fiorinal #3 for about 7- 10 yrs. It started because of true pain that needed this med. and because I supported my three children by myself working tons of overtime to keep my job.
I have always paid bills, keep up my home, kids needs & self. No Dr. or Internet for extra pills. You bet I've taken more at times but never more than 6 a day.
So here I am with the justification.
The last yr. something changed which I attribute to a being laid off, living alone, getting old and a general slide of self worth while at work. I have always been a social butterfly with many friends and can make ANYONE laugh.
I have been on depression med (200 mg. Zoloft) for around 12 yrs. and it worked well.
Now and for about a year or two I have become a hermit, with no hope, no desires, no joy, no interests and no self worth. I decided it had to be the narc. pills & stopped taking them for three & 1/2 months. No pain but then I NEVER moved from my bedroom. The withdrawal was over after a few weeks but same feelings of nothingness.
Am trying new depression med. & Buspar, still no change. All I do is cry and hate myself for not being grateful I am alive and have enough money to pay bills. My grown children think I am disgusting. I have quit talking to them because I cannot mentally handle how they feel about me.... I am an addict!!
Have any of you experienced this with withdrawal?
Kindest Regards to all
So, here it is!
I have been taking (daily) 4 Fiorinal #3 for about 7- 10 yrs. It started because of true pain that needed this med. and because I supported my three children by myself working tons of overtime to keep my job.
I have always paid bills, keep up my home, kids needs & self. No Dr. or Internet for extra pills. You bet I've taken more at times but never more than 6 a day.
So here I am with the justification.
The last yr. something changed which I attribute to a being laid off, living alone, getting old and a general slide of self worth while at work. I have always been a social butterfly with many friends and can make ANYONE laugh.
I have been on depression med (200 mg. Zoloft) for around 12 yrs. and it worked well.
Now and for about a year or two I have become a hermit, with no hope, no desires, no joy, no interests and no self worth. I decided it had to be the narc. pills & stopped taking them for three & 1/2 months. No pain but then I NEVER moved from my bedroom. The withdrawal was over after a few weeks but same feelings of nothingness.
Am trying new depression med. & Buspar, still no change. All I do is cry and hate myself for not being grateful I am alive and have enough money to pay bills. My grown children think I am disgusting. I have quit talking to them because I cannot mentally handle how they feel about me.... I am an addict!!
Have any of you experienced this with withdrawal?
Kindest Regards to all
You guys are the bomb!!!!!
You are the light at the end of the tunnel and my only source of advice, comfort and understanding.
I am so impressed not just by your willingness to be so supportive but your personal struggles. God bless you for plowing through.
Shelli, I went through a similar situation at work.
In a nutshell.
A woman was sexually harassed by her boss whom had done this to others before her.
I was asked to testify in FEDERAL court against the company.
A nice tid-bit, the judge was same judge for the Enron case and very, very fair. Did not let the big boys pull any tricky stuff.
THANK God
The lady won (jury decision) but these cases hardly made a difference.
Bottom line I was then Persona Non Grata...an undesirable employee.
They kept me for 8 more yrs. before "terminating me" with a BS reason. Got early retirement instead by agreeing to forgo retirement pkg.
Twenty four yrs. and that is how it ends. Whatever!!!
Small world hun?
Miss V, as I said before I am frightened by the beast and have been taking less, 2/3 a day. Way to much cry-baby-crying going down now. Whew!!
I will discuss all this with Dr. when I see him 8/4.
Again ladies your are exceptional people, with a gift. I celebrate your determination to survive & pay it forward.
How'd you know I was worth saving?.......OK, OK just my way of lightening up before closing and making you smile.
Your on my prayer list BIG TIME!
Much love & Warm hugs back at you.
Nana
PS. Not to be left out, tramahater.......thanks for being the first responder and your kindness as well. XO
You are the light at the end of the tunnel and my only source of advice, comfort and understanding.
I am so impressed not just by your willingness to be so supportive but your personal struggles. God bless you for plowing through.
Shelli, I went through a similar situation at work.
In a nutshell.
A woman was sexually harassed by her boss whom had done this to others before her.
I was asked to testify in FEDERAL court against the company.
A nice tid-bit, the judge was same judge for the Enron case and very, very fair. Did not let the big boys pull any tricky stuff.
THANK God
The lady won (jury decision) but these cases hardly made a difference.
Bottom line I was then Persona Non Grata...an undesirable employee.
They kept me for 8 more yrs. before "terminating me" with a BS reason. Got early retirement instead by agreeing to forgo retirement pkg.
Twenty four yrs. and that is how it ends. Whatever!!!
Small world hun?
Miss V, as I said before I am frightened by the beast and have been taking less, 2/3 a day. Way to much cry-baby-crying going down now. Whew!!
I will discuss all this with Dr. when I see him 8/4.
Again ladies your are exceptional people, with a gift. I celebrate your determination to survive & pay it forward.
How'd you know I was worth saving?.......OK, OK just my way of lightening up before closing and making you smile.
Your on my prayer list BIG TIME!
Much love & Warm hugs back at you.
Nana
PS. Not to be left out, tramahater.......thanks for being the first responder and your kindness as well. XO
Nana, I almost wanted to cry when I read your post. Sweetie, you are terribly depressed, and I have a couple of suggestions for you to discuss with your doc. You mentioned that a lot of your life as you knew it went away. I can identify - in 7 years, i lost my sister (and best friend); mother; father; was sexually harassed out of a career that meant a lot to me; my daughter tried to end her life; marital problems; etc. And these meds we have become dependent on do eventually reach a point of diminishing returns, thus exacerbating everything else wrong with our lives. I have had to make some changes lately with meds, and they helped get me out of the worst of the depression. When you visit your doc, ask about adding Abilify. Within days, it turned me around. Here's another: Lithium. It is not just for bipolar disorder. My daughter was prescribed it for severe unipolar depression, and it changed her life. I am not recommending these meds - I am recommending that you talk to your doc about these meds. And now that I think of it, here is a third: I don't know where you live, but in my state, medical cannabis is legal for PTSD, and you sound like you are suffering from some elements of PTSD. EMDR therapy is also helpful for PTSD - I went through it after my horrible career experience, as it left me so crushed.
I think your daughter could use some lessons in empathy. What she said was uncalled for.
You have done nothing wrong - you have busted your behind raising your kids, being financially independent, contributing to society, being a good friend, etc. You are a good person, and you deserve better. I will say a prayer for you!
Love,
Shelli
I think your daughter could use some lessons in empathy. What she said was uncalled for.
You have done nothing wrong - you have busted your behind raising your kids, being financially independent, contributing to society, being a good friend, etc. You are a good person, and you deserve better. I will say a prayer for you!
Love,
Shelli
I re read your post and now understand you are back taking the F#3. This is a double whammy because of the opiate and barbiturate invovled. When you take this med and add other meds like antidepressants, you can have some odd feelings. All the chemicals ingested are interfering with the natural production of brain chemicals and can cause some trouble. Everyone is different with this but it sounds to be like this is just not a good" cocktail" for you. Not your fault. It's pretty dangerous to c/t from this because of the barbiturate. When you did that,you may have caused some "trigger response"...I'm not sure...
There's only one way to find out if the F#3 is the culprit and that is to stop taking it. Now,you can't just stop. But,see if you can taper it back a bit. If I were taking 6,I'd drop back to 5 a day until I saw the doctor on Aug. 4th.
When you see the doctor,ask if you can have this med spilt into 2 RX's. One for codeine
and one for Fioricet plain. Then ask him to give you a taper plan for Fioricet. Stick to the taper plan and take the codeine prn. The only way you'll know for sure if the fioricet is the BIG problem is to eliminate it. It truly is the drug of no return...
As for me,in a nutshell, I have been off Fioricet plain for (essentially) 8 months. I took,
for no good reason,one pill in April so I turned my tracker back. I only took Fioricet plain. I took this for over 20 years at about 25 pills a day toward the end. It was a HUGE addiction and one I NEVER thought I could interrupt. I thought I would die from it.
I finally decided I had to stop after some unfortunate "accidents". I began a taper,very slowly in April 2009 and took the last 2 pills on Thanksgiving Day 2009.
I didn't take anything during this time. I ate better,drank tons of water,took tons of vitamins and plodded along. Toward the end of my taper,I finally resigned myself to the
fact that the pills were going away and I accepted it. I really began to feel pretty good.
Last April,I involved an addictionologist along with group therapy . I began getting MORE exercise by swimming everyday. I used to love to swim but I had stopped. :(
I told my family and they were shocked but very supportive. Additionally, I have much support at home. I'm really doing great!! I'm happy,naturally... I post on the forum
because it helps me to help you ! It feels good to give back. I'd like to offer you hope
and I pray your family becomes more understanding.
Whew!! Well..I wrote an epistle here so I'll send this off !!! xo
There's only one way to find out if the F#3 is the culprit and that is to stop taking it. Now,you can't just stop. But,see if you can taper it back a bit. If I were taking 6,I'd drop back to 5 a day until I saw the doctor on Aug. 4th.
When you see the doctor,ask if you can have this med spilt into 2 RX's. One for codeine
and one for Fioricet plain. Then ask him to give you a taper plan for Fioricet. Stick to the taper plan and take the codeine prn. The only way you'll know for sure if the fioricet is the BIG problem is to eliminate it. It truly is the drug of no return...
As for me,in a nutshell, I have been off Fioricet plain for (essentially) 8 months. I took,
for no good reason,one pill in April so I turned my tracker back. I only took Fioricet plain. I took this for over 20 years at about 25 pills a day toward the end. It was a HUGE addiction and one I NEVER thought I could interrupt. I thought I would die from it.
I finally decided I had to stop after some unfortunate "accidents". I began a taper,very slowly in April 2009 and took the last 2 pills on Thanksgiving Day 2009.
I didn't take anything during this time. I ate better,drank tons of water,took tons of vitamins and plodded along. Toward the end of my taper,I finally resigned myself to the
fact that the pills were going away and I accepted it. I really began to feel pretty good.
Last April,I involved an addictionologist along with group therapy . I began getting MORE exercise by swimming everyday. I used to love to swim but I had stopped. :(
I told my family and they were shocked but very supportive. Additionally, I have much support at home. I'm really doing great!! I'm happy,naturally... I post on the forum
because it helps me to help you ! It feels good to give back. I'd like to offer you hope
and I pray your family becomes more understanding.
Whew!! Well..I wrote an epistle here so I'll send this off !!! xo
Okay...Yes there are addictionologists.
Are you still taking the F#3 ? I need to know this and then go on...
V
Are you still taking the F#3 ? I need to know this and then go on...
V
Thank you for responding and providing something that has my attention.
THIS DRUG IS A BEAST......WOW!
After I read that simply statement for the first time in my heart & soul I am scared of it. instead of a thinking it to be my tiny piece of heaven I am thinking it is a devil that is killing me.
I am a Christian and pray to God all day & night to help me PAY ATTENTION to what He wants me to do. Also, asking in my prayers that it doesn't come in the form of a horrible medical crisis so perhaps your words are the lighting bolt.
My Dr. is the one & only whom prescribes this drug and all my meds. Been seeing him about 25 yrs. He knows about all the mood changes and is adjusting my depression med.
He never once suggested the BEAST might be a problem.
My new dp med is Pristiq 50 mg. When he increased to 100 mg. I had horrible symptoms that could not be denied.
He was out of town this week and because I needed refills I saw his partner. New rules now in the Controlled Substance world. Anyone on CS must sign a contract, see the Dr. every month to obtain a refill, can be blood tested to see if your narc level is too high, etc. etc.
Anyway this new Doc tells me "wow your an addict, no wonder the other meds cannot work." He thinks it is Buspar that is causing the new weird symptoms...I don't think so?
Have taken Buspar before & never had weird symptoms. If I can figure that much then why not the almighty (new) DR.???
Additionally, in some warped way of comfort he tells me I am not crazy (I know that) but am driving myself & his NURSES crazy. Another story not worth telling.
Kind of a joke but when your in a funk anything can rub you the wrong way.
My other real concern is my blood pressure which for the last two months has been sky high and what to do????? No adjustment in that med either.
I really don't trust Dr.'s They are part of the "system" now and we all know the system only loves money, not the everyday person with no REAL money. I have ins., do not owe them but who cares.
Before I posted my 1st, my mean daughter told me how sick of me she is and with that I called the Dr., left a message with the nurse that I was flushing the pain meds. so could the dumb doc. suggest something to help.
She called later. I did not throw away the pills which is what they said would not be wise....DUH!
I confessed I stopped last yr. for months , cold turkey.
She was shocked and we agreed I was in no shape to make any other changes. I will wait until my next appointment with my regular Dr. on 8/4.
Next step in a shrink. I hate them too. I have worked with psychologist, shrinks, social workers, priests, all my life and have heard some outrageous opinions regarding what my problem is. I don't believe any of it really helps but will see a shrink because what else is their. Are their really addictionologis?
Again thank you and good luck with your 78...79...80 day recovery. What were/are you taking to help get you through the first weeks?
If you can tell me more about the "creepy BEAST affects"?
Kindest regards friend.
THIS DRUG IS A BEAST......WOW!
After I read that simply statement for the first time in my heart & soul I am scared of it. instead of a thinking it to be my tiny piece of heaven I am thinking it is a devil that is killing me.
I am a Christian and pray to God all day & night to help me PAY ATTENTION to what He wants me to do. Also, asking in my prayers that it doesn't come in the form of a horrible medical crisis so perhaps your words are the lighting bolt.
My Dr. is the one & only whom prescribes this drug and all my meds. Been seeing him about 25 yrs. He knows about all the mood changes and is adjusting my depression med.
He never once suggested the BEAST might be a problem.
My new dp med is Pristiq 50 mg. When he increased to 100 mg. I had horrible symptoms that could not be denied.
He was out of town this week and because I needed refills I saw his partner. New rules now in the Controlled Substance world. Anyone on CS must sign a contract, see the Dr. every month to obtain a refill, can be blood tested to see if your narc level is too high, etc. etc.
Anyway this new Doc tells me "wow your an addict, no wonder the other meds cannot work." He thinks it is Buspar that is causing the new weird symptoms...I don't think so?
Have taken Buspar before & never had weird symptoms. If I can figure that much then why not the almighty (new) DR.???
Additionally, in some warped way of comfort he tells me I am not crazy (I know that) but am driving myself & his NURSES crazy. Another story not worth telling.
Kind of a joke but when your in a funk anything can rub you the wrong way.
My other real concern is my blood pressure which for the last two months has been sky high and what to do????? No adjustment in that med either.
I really don't trust Dr.'s They are part of the "system" now and we all know the system only loves money, not the everyday person with no REAL money. I have ins., do not owe them but who cares.
Before I posted my 1st, my mean daughter told me how sick of me she is and with that I called the Dr., left a message with the nurse that I was flushing the pain meds. so could the dumb doc. suggest something to help.
She called later. I did not throw away the pills which is what they said would not be wise....DUH!
I confessed I stopped last yr. for months , cold turkey.
She was shocked and we agreed I was in no shape to make any other changes. I will wait until my next appointment with my regular Dr. on 8/4.
Next step in a shrink. I hate them too. I have worked with psychologist, shrinks, social workers, priests, all my life and have heard some outrageous opinions regarding what my problem is. I don't believe any of it really helps but will see a shrink because what else is their. Are their really addictionologis?
Again thank you and good luck with your 78...79...80 day recovery. What were/are you taking to help get you through the first weeks?
If you can tell me more about the "creepy BEAST affects"?
Kindest regards friend.
My dear~
This drug is a beast! It will leave you broken and rip your soul away. It will mentally paralyze you. None of this is your fault and,really,you weren't taking a large amount.
Unfortunately,it was enough.
The codeine does not do this. It's the butalbital. It has very creepy ways..
I commend you for stopping it as you did, but what now? Well,you may need some different antidepressants. I guess you're on a new one now along with Buspar? How
long? The drug really interferes with brain chemistry and as we age,it's difficult to bounce back. But you can!!
Have you spoken with your doctor honestly? He/she knows about the F#3? If not,you need to get honest there. Also,you MUST force yourself to move around and get out of the house!! Just push yourself! Your brain needs stimulation and change of scenery.
You are in such a funk here that you''ll have to crawl out!! But you have to try and get moving. I know how hard it is,believe me. Your depression is real. You need to see someone about that,also. I personally feel that anyone on AD's should be in adjunct therapy and you need that support. I would suggest an addictionologist. They have more "drug" experience.
Your children are not being very understanding but I'm sure they're confused. It's up to you to keep those lines open and try to explain what's happened. This drug will leave you just plain flat;like a black hole...
I have many years of experience with Fioricet. I have not taken it for a while now and don't intend to ever touch it. I hate it!!
Post back with any questions or to talk. I'll always make myself available to you...
Vicki
This drug is a beast! It will leave you broken and rip your soul away. It will mentally paralyze you. None of this is your fault and,really,you weren't taking a large amount.
Unfortunately,it was enough.
The codeine does not do this. It's the butalbital. It has very creepy ways..
I commend you for stopping it as you did, but what now? Well,you may need some different antidepressants. I guess you're on a new one now along with Buspar? How
long? The drug really interferes with brain chemistry and as we age,it's difficult to bounce back. But you can!!
Have you spoken with your doctor honestly? He/she knows about the F#3? If not,you need to get honest there. Also,you MUST force yourself to move around and get out of the house!! Just push yourself! Your brain needs stimulation and change of scenery.
You are in such a funk here that you''ll have to crawl out!! But you have to try and get moving. I know how hard it is,believe me. Your depression is real. You need to see someone about that,also. I personally feel that anyone on AD's should be in adjunct therapy and you need that support. I would suggest an addictionologist. They have more "drug" experience.
Your children are not being very understanding but I'm sure they're confused. It's up to you to keep those lines open and try to explain what's happened. This drug will leave you just plain flat;like a black hole...
I have many years of experience with Fioricet. I have not taken it for a while now and don't intend to ever touch it. I hate it!!
Post back with any questions or to talk. I'll always make myself available to you...
Vicki
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