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First Time Poster - Day 4 of Withdrawels

Hello everyone, I decided to join this community after trolling through posts for hours.  The feedback and support that i've seen from this group is amazing. I have so much i want to share with almost every post!  Most of all, I realize what most of you have, it's not easy to find this type of support in your personal life.  Being a substance abuser for over half my life, abusing different substances since age 14 and up to now being 30, finding people who have been through addiction AND will give you non biased or judgmental support is not something thats easy to come by.  Most of the people who understand you are either they themselves addicts (which common sense dictates that it's unhealthy for you to be around people abusing the drug your withdrawing off of, let alone the drug itself), or maybe people you know who have gone through addiction, but it's difficult (for me) to ask for or receive any type of support without feeling additionally ashamed and/or judged.

In my teenage years it mostly marijuana, acid/LCD, mushrooms, and alcohol.  Once i reached my 20s, I broke my leg in a dirtbike accident and got my first script for percocet.   30 days of bedrest and no work for me.  Yeah!!.. well it only took me about a week to recognize and understand the euphoric feeling of getting high.  It was the best feeling from substance abuse I think I ever felt.  By the end of the first week I readudjusted my timing and dosage schedule to allow higher doses in less intervals over the day all for the purpose of getting high.  After 1 month my percocet was cut off and i stopped.  No withdrawels!!  This happened the first few times i would go on narcotics for a brief period of time. a couple weeks to 1-2 months, and my body would experience withdrawel symptoms.  It was great..everything was under control and i saw no reason not to indulge when the opportunity permitted itself.  This cycle continued over 10 years, until gradually the periods of time being on the meds along with my tolerance continued to grow.  From percocet i went to oxycontin, which is basically the same drug - oxycodone.  Oxycontins have been more preferable because it is designed to hold more of the drug and release it into your system over approximately 12 hours in a time released fassion.  So chewing the pills just gives you more of the drug immidiately and hence a better high.  My average daily usage is generally around 140+ mg of oxy per day and this current cycle of addiction lasted only 2 months, compared to the longest cycle, which was over 6 months.

The past 3 years is when i really started having problems with Oxy addiction.  I have found myself atleast half a dozen times in the same place that I am right now typing this post... the middle of my withdrawels on day 4.  I swear this is dejavu...I'm sure a lot of people can relate with me when i say I feel like i keep coming back to the same place with this addiction, then being strong enough physically and mentally to kick it, but somehow relapsing...even if it's after 1 year (that's me right now - i was clean for 1 year until the past 2 months I fell back into the hole)  I won't get into my personal life much unless anyone is curious.  I have read many posts from people describing their life problems and why it's turned them to substance abuse.  A lot of these posts i feel like I could have written myself they are so relative to my life.

My 2-cents worth of information at the moment is this:

1)  this forum, in my opinion, is a method of after treatment.  For me, I've never had anybody I could really talk to and can support me while understanding me during my crusade to fight this disease!!!  This forum will be my new method of after treatment!!!

2) With all the otc and perscription drug recomendations on this forum, I'm shocked that I never heard one person suggest my number one drug to assist in withdrawels - marijuana.  Maybe it's not a good idea if your not already a smoker (of weed), but if you are...i would personally suggest to try smoking throughout your withdrawels.  For me, the marijuana helps sooth, my stomach, headaches, overall feeling of despression (i find that even on day 2 or 3 of withdrawels I can somehow crack a smile during a movie while I stoned, even though I feel like committing suicide..) A majority of the symptoms that can arise from withdrawels I always drown myself in THC.  The weed is the only thing I've stocked up on during all of my previous withdawels and it always got me through.

My problems:

I have absolutely no apetite and I haven't really eaten anything in almost 3 days...(day 2 - 4)  Is there anything i can do regain my apetite?  I'm really concerned about the loss of body muscle I'm losing.  What an idiot I am for going to the gym for 6 months, while taking suplements and bringing myself into the best physical shape of my life, and then jumping onto a script of oxy!  Stupid!!
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Avatar universal
Hi oxy....oh my how I've tried...I raised his two children, I got him out of jail, I supported him when he was in rehab for 50 times he was in there...I've cried, begged, tried tough love....so now I just love him and hope one day he will want help...but til then guess I just got to watch it...that's why I asked u if I knew why he did it maybe I could help bc to me once I survived the Withdrawl I never want to do that again so I don't get it but thank u very much..  I'm so glad u were able to eat...yes I will take natural any day over that poison they label medicine.....u sound amazing I'm so proud of u..  
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Avatar universal
HEY! I need to thank you!  After I read your post about your appetite after smoking...i really started asking myself if I could eat.  So I had my helper prepare a plate of food, then i put it under me on the bed and just smelled it, hmmmm smells good, but still not hungry..took a bite of the chicken adobe and BAM!  Magnificent! Delicious!  I ate the entire plate which was my first meal and anything to eat in 3 days.  Yesterday I ate 5 times.  Today, day 6, I'm almost back to normal appetite.

You know what?  I've also been trying different things for my fever and headaches that won't subside, ibuprofin, paracetamol, hot baths, etc.  Nothing works for the headaches.  I smoke a joint...in 10 minutes 100% better ... it's an amazing ALL NATURAL REMEDY WITH NO PHYSICALLY ADDICTIVE AGENTS.

As for your brother...well he suffers from addiction deeply like most of us on this forum it sounds like.  Everyone is differenent and if you are among the few that never did drugs recriationally and then fell into an addiction of oxy on accident, and now you have no cravings, more power to you.  But for most of us addicts...once we kick a drug, it still has it's claws in our back...for the rest of our lives no matter what we do.  I've learned this time and time again.  Oxy didn't have it's claws in me (I thought) for the first years.  I could take it for a month or so and then stop with no problems....After listening to the way the talk about your brother....maybe it's your brother's turn for a little help from you...?
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Avatar universal
Hi Tom.., no I've never been to rehab; just have experience from using.  Valium is prescribed to me by my doctor for sleeplessness for about 2 years now.  I take it occassionally for sleep and never had an addiction problem with it.  Regardless, I'm on day 6 and last night got a natural 8 hours of sleep after having the first orgasm in 3 months after I relapsed! hehe  Thanks for the advice :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hey, Don't take Valium to sleep, it is not a sleep medication. Beware of cross addiction.

have you been in rehab? It sounds like you may have been.

12 step programs are the best way to remain sober long term. So please check into AA or NA, and in some states, PA (pills anonymous).
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey ur doing awesome...day four I don't even remember...so great...eating really helps...glad u turned the corner...so now I want to ask a question...why do u go back after u get over it??.. this I don't get...my brother does the sane thing and I never get that...he likes to dry up as he calls it and then binge...I can't imagine doing that wd again...it scares the hello kitty out of me...I love my brother dearly but I fear he will die soon bc his body is really gone down in the last year...he looks so old and tired...I think its finally got him...so I'm just curious to understand...but u don't have to answer anything....best wishes..
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Avatar universal
Well congratulations that your clean and still going.  Sounds like your brother really helped you out.  4th day for me and I had a small snack for breakfast lunch and dinner..so my appetite is returning.  I vomited after only drinking juice on day 2...so I realized I couldn't eat...I'm over the hump and heading uphill at the moment.  By friday I'll be feeling a lot more like myself.  Yesterday I couldn't muster up the psychological energy to even post...so by leaps and bounds each day.
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Avatar universal
Oh just saw where ur not eating...the marijuana doesn't help that??? Oh my god I was eating like a pig...I ate stuff before I it was done.. and trust me I needed it ..lol...I couldn't even keep water down.....I had food everywhere..my bed looked like a walmarts buffet...my husband would just open the door and throw my food in...lol..ok just kidding..but I'm finally after years back to my normal weight and it feels great...I found also exercise helps a lot..I love it..I hope ur appetite returns soon...bc u need all the energy u can get...oxys take so much from ur body...its unreal...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's tough being on them I was to 280mgs a day plus delilah..lol..yeah I know all street names now thanks to my brother and pain management...lol...after my last surgery in Jan I knew I had enough...for two years I wanted off that ride but my doc just upped my dosage and said I couldn't handle the pain...well that just pisses me off...so first I called him and said I'm done and jumped....wow what a nightmare...really thought I would die...but felt I was dead already..had no feelings just existing...thank god for my street wise brother or I may have died..bc I never wanted to touch that mess again..to answer ur question no it doesn't help the pain..ur body adjustes and then its just a merry go round...u take to prevent wds only...my pain is still here..but not nearly as bad as on oxys...I'm still figuring out how this happened...virgin body to strung out addict...what the hello kitty...lol...but life is sweet again..go me...yay...wish u the best...I found out i was the problem but baby I was also the solution....hang in there life ROCKS...
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Avatar universal
Little, I was wondering if it was really your first time smoking! lol   Some people don't get high their first couple times smoking.  It's the same thing for me...before I got ready to do this withdrawel from the oxy I stocked up on weed.  I smoke a joint every couple of hours to sooth all the symptoms.

10 days and you still couldn't eat?  I guess thats what 8 years of oxy can do..it is quite amazing how seriously the medication twists your mind and body around.  I always wonder if people taking such high quantities of oxy ACTUALLY experience pain relief on a long term scale and can manage it, or if they start off taking it for the pain and after awhile when their tolerance builds it switches from taking it for pain OR for getting high, to taking it just stay level and function normal.  

Over the past years I keep relapsing...but everytime I'm strong enough to pull myself out of it after i fess up and realize that I'm no longer enjoying it as much as I was the first few weeks or so and I'm no longer feeling the same "high" or as good.  I can't imagine going through 8 straight years of my life on oxy, but i have been on and off it for 10 years now, the last 3 years being the heaviest.
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Avatar universal
Sorry I had smoked it three times at fifteen...lol..forgot about that..
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Avatar universal
First, I never did any drugs even as a teen..long story..but my brother is a professional drug user...and when I was vesting off an eight year oxy use my brother I truly believe saved my life..it was day ten I hadn't ate one bite of anything I couldn't and he brought me some marijuana and within twenty mins I was hungry, my stomach calmed down, my anxiety went away and I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I would live...heart quit racing...it SAVED my life...I used it for about a week..so as a medicine I think its a miracle drug...and if I needed it again would have no problems smoking it..none..the things oxy did to my body is disgusting and its a medicine...I almost laugh at that hypocritacy.....just bc I could get a scrip for it...so my brother saved my life I truly believe with marijuana...just my two cents.




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Avatar universal
Thanks for the input gnarly...I've always wondered and been curious about the effects for others of marijuana and withdrawel symptoms.  I agree with you completely on a larger scale that it's a bad idea to treat withdrawel symptoms with other seriously addictive drugs.  I've seen so many suggestions on this forum of medical concoctions of all sorts.  I was shocked to see one say he used codeine to treat his muscle pains from the withdrawels!  I kind of want to ask..well why don't you just take oxy again?  But I guess it's understandable that different methods work for some and not for others.  I've been smoking weed on and off throughout my life, but even when not I've always been an avid supporter of marijuana.  Yes, it has it's negetive side affects, but even on a normal day i find smoking can sooth a headache, stomach ache, anxiety, etc., while most people treat all these things with different medications, the fact that I like to smoke often and that it helps with these things have made it come in handy during certain times in life...withdrawing from oxy is defenitely one of them for me!  The fact that marijuana isn't physically addictive (although anything in life can be mentally addictive) is also a plus.  Thomas's Recipe suggests Valium to help sleep.  It's funny because i found this forum just today on my 4th day., but I already have a prescription for valium to help sleep. On night #2, I took 10 mg of valium, which is usually enough to put me out.  After about 2.5 hours of tossing and turning I finally took another 10 mg and after an hour i knocked out for 5 hours.  When I woke up on the 3rd day i had an excrutiating headache, that I believe is contributed to the valium, which lasted nearly all day.  For that reason I'm not taking valium again during this withdrawel process.

Has anybody else had any experience with using marijuana during withdrawels?
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Avatar universal
HI Welcome to the forum....well your 4 days in you should start feeling beter by tomorrow give it a chance as for the weed  your one of the few that said it helps withdrawals most people say it gets them high so there miserable and high but to each his own.....my beliefs on it is a buzz is a buzz is a buzz and addicts cant aford to have one from weed alcohol or pills abstinence is the only way to get clean and more so stay clean as for aftercare this forum will be helpful but its not enough you need personal interaction hook up with N/A or A/A and work the 12 step program it works if you work it congrts on 4 days clean loose the weed and you wontt be back here in 6 mo with a worst addiction good luck and God bless  .......Gnarly
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