First attempt ......Failure

[lostsoulz85]

I really told myself last night i would be ok and i was till i talk to my boyfriend and i was so upset , hurt and alone and I told myself I did not want to use but I used and I am finding triggers and that is wrong i know i deserve somone who talks to me understands me loves me 2 no end inside i am dead and i just want everything to be right no matter what it never goes how you want ....

[meandhimoff]

It is so awful mentally and physically but It can be done its learning to live and filling the void that is hard for me but i am 2 weeks clean today from a bad oxy addiction I'm still sick but just stick it through and you can do it:)

[howcouldiknow]

Are you going through withdrawal? I've only gone through tramadol withdrawal and it was the worst. Tramadol withdrawal can be more difficult than the "real" opioid because tramadol is so complex in the way it acts...I should take my own advice, but hang in there.

One morning you WILL wake up and feel clean and free of this. And the realization of that is far more reveling than numbing yourself with the drug.

[eringobragh]

when i wake up 2moro wednesday it will be day four for me! I know its hard...but you have to pray to be stronger just think soon you'll be happy with yourself for fighting the biggest fight of your life. im with ya...you can do it!!

[jooler]

ok. if u wanna stop u have to be committed. it sux n it hell. im on day 7. took 10-12 10/500 lortabs a day n oxy. read this forum for a while. i took alot of hot baths. ALOT>>>EVERY HOUR. vitamins are key as well. multivitamin n vitaman c pill every morn. google The Thomas Recipe. it is helpful. hang in there. ill b here all night if u need to talk

[tryn_hard]

Please read my posts any advise is well needed...I have not stopped using but I really ant to..its the withdrwals & mental madness...please read my profile...I need help

[kim715]

Congrats on day seven hon!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep going.....All the best...Kim

[jooler]

girl we are here for you. i was taking 10-12 tabs n as many oxys as i could get my hands on a day. i did this for 12 years. i start day seven at midnite tonight. if it wasnt for this site and my son i wouldnt have made it this far. stay strong and post often. i found that typing relieves the mental urge to use. think of ur beautiful children and pray hard. u r not alone in this evil struggle of bondage. this whole site is full of angels that can help. good luck n im prayin for you....jooler

[kim715]

You're not walking towards it alone.Right now we're in front of you helping to lead the way.Once you get there we will fall back behind you and help and support you to keep moving forward.You're not walking this journey alone.You have to do the real work but we're right there with you every step of the way.

[lostsoulz85]

i admire all of you so much you really make me see the light its walking towards it that  iam scared i know ican

[kim715]

Hon we have just all been where you are right now.And when we say you can do this,those aren't just words.I KNOW you can do this.If I can do this then so can you!!!!!!!!!! Dig deep hon....Time to muster that strength you have inside and come up swinging.Time to dance with the devil and beat that f'er down...You're in control of your life.You take that power back.You keep telling yourself these drugs are NOT going to control me or effect my kids anymore!!!!!!! IT STOPS NOW!!!!!!!!

[lostsoulz85]

I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU ALL TELL ME YOU ARE ALL FABULOUS PEOPLE

[dominosarah]

Start by saying I CAN DO THIS.....We have all had our share of very painful situations.  You can stop this pain......YOU have the key that will unlock those chains....I told you this last night.....COME OUT FIGHTING

[kim715]

Hon you know you can get clean.You know you have the strength to do that,you've done it.Just like it is for all of us ,staying clean is the real battle.Talking to your family would be great.You could also start now by looking for meetings in your area.Learn from your past.Take what hasn't worked and work on changing it.You can do it.....Kim

[jollyman069]

thats great get the support system working for you see you are making the rigfht steps just take that great big one and stay away from anyone that you can get drugs off of. I know there are times if someone handed me a bottle of percs..iw ould eat them so fast your head would spin

[lostsoulz85]

WHEN I WAS IN JAIL I WENT TO SOME ADDICTION MEETINGS BUT I NEVER THOUGHT OF GETTING HELP I ALWAYS WAS ABLE TO KICK THE JUNK BUT I WILL TALK 2 MY FAMILY

[jollyman069]

remeber you are not a failure you are reaching out for help..thats the first big step your admittring you need help we all went through that its not a good feeling but it does get better..i am on dialysis waiting for a kidney transplant.. because my kidneys dont function my withdrawl lasted about 3 weeks i was in bad shape but it is nice to be out of the fog it takes the brain a while to get working right again but you will love it..also ever think of getting professional help??? I go to NA every friday

[lostsoulz85]

I HAVE OVERCOME ADDICTION TO HEROIN COKE AND JUST RECENTLY PERK 10/325 IT WAS THE HARDEST WITHDRAWLS OF MY LIFE AND NOW I JUST GOT MY XANAX TO HELP WITH MY ANXITY FOR THE WITHDRAWLS FROM METH ADDICTION IT INCREASES YOUR ANXIETY AND MY STRESS

[jollyman069]

hi i am 41 days clean from morphine and percoset addicition..it is not easy and it is so worth it ...remember there is one you can always talk too if you open your heart and cry out for Jesus he will listen and if you ask he will help....being addict is no fun and like others said trying to stay numb may end up something alot worst

[corey411]

Something that you posted last night and tonight " I overcame heroin, cocaine and opiates" You have not overcome addiction. Addiction is addiction and sometimes we as addicts trade one addiction for another. You will definetly not find yourself in drugs. You do have to make some changes and it helps to have a plan. When we use, we cover up the pain. It's not that it's not there anymore. We just learn to take it. When we stop using we begin to clean up the mess ONE DAY AT A TIME, It will hurt. You will have pain, but you will get your life back. There was a saying at NA that I found so true. As addicts we expect the world to meet us on our terms. In recovery we learn to meet the world on it's terms. I wish you alot of lukk honey and I will keep you in my positive thoughts. Corey

[lostsoulz85]

Thanks so much ............

[gizzy32]

I liked what boogieman asked you twice. You are now dealing with a drug that will take you down so fast and one of the hardest to quit. There is more to this than having strength, this drug will completely rewire your brain and that is why it's important to get some help. You have switched a lot of addictions in your young life and each one has got worse. Life is waiting for you, but it's gonna take some commitment and changes to get there. I wish you the best and hope you take our advice. You are using to stay numb and that is dangerous. Please stay strong and come up with a plan to do this, your worth it!!!

[HelpinUtah]

You will find it!  You're here asking for help aren't you!?  People who do not want to change destructive behaviors do not reach out.  I admire you for that.  I know it seems impossible to find the strength - but you can!  I KNOW IT!  And, with all of us here to help you can and will do it!  

[lostsoulz85]

I NEED 2 FIND MYSELF I ASK MY SELF WHY ME WHY DO I DO THIS I KNOW I CAN I JUST CAN'T FIND THE STRENGTH

[HelpinUtah]

Honey! BE STRONG and don't let those thoughts invade your quiet space.  Take some deep breaths and a long hot bath!  Find something to keep your mind busy like a craft, hobby or something - and especially keep posting.  I know you can overcome this.  The cravings are horrible but YOU ARE WORTH so much more than what you are giving yourself.  It WILL BE DIFFICULT - but in the end you will be so happy to be on the other side. You'll be thankful that you do not have to get high to deal with the stress.  You can fnd other constructive things to do.  

Remember, worry doesn't do anything to help us!  Worry causes to much grief.  We cannot change the outcome of some situations and so why worry, but we can change our ATTITUDES!  Please for yourself and your children.  See the light at the end of that tunnel.  Believe in yourself!  Believe that you can do anything!  Come here and post, post, post!  We won't get sick of it - that's what we are all here for.  We've been in your situation some more than others.  And, we can help you!  But, you have to trust us and listen to the advice you are given.  It's never easy to change - but it's so rewarding and refreshing!

Lots of love, prayers and hugs sent your way!

~~~Janet