Friday Night.

Well, here it is Friday night again. I find that Friday nights are the worst night of all when you are on an addictive drug such as Oxycontin. While on it, my paranoia and anxiety would be at their worst on this night. Why? I really couldn't say at that time. I would manage to get through the rest of the week, sleeping most of the time but come Friday I would find myself wide awake. When I started withdrawal, the demons paranoia and anxiety really took over and although I was angry most of the time and downright mean, it was nothing compared to what I was like come the terrible Fridays. I have thought about this and over a period of time have realized that Friday has always been my time. It was a time when I did as I pleased whether it was watching TV, playing games on the computer reading a book or going out to to play poker and so on. What made Friday so hard on me was that my subconcious mind was asking me "What is going on, why are we sitting here like a zombie?" This, of course, put me further into the dumps and I became totally depressed. Finally, one Saturday evening when I was about to take another oxy, I suddenly got angry at myself and without thinking walked into the bathroom and dumped all the oxy down the toilet. From that moment on I was in withdrawal. It would have been easy for me to tell my doctor that I lost the pills and get another prescription. Instead I chose to fight all my demons and believe me I am happy that I did. When I think about the terrors of going cold turkey , the anxiety, the depression, the paranoia that I endured my heart goes out to all of you who are walking that same road. I know what it feels like but think about this, the reward at the end is a new beginning, new perspective, new feelings, new tastes, new days and nights, new everything and all well worth the trip. Your family looks at you with a new respect and every dy is shiny new. So, go for it and don't back away no matter what. Hey, if an old codger like myself can do it, so can YOU.

[tztlady]

I just love reading your posts.  Thank you for sharing that one with us, it really helps those struggling, I know it helps me.   You are an awesome person and I am so glad that you are here.
tzt

[fishmeal]

Are you sure you're 80 because the wisdom coming out of these posts don't look a day over 79 heehee~~~~~~~` I too love reading someone as mentally spry as you!  My stepson just turned 18 and well, he knows everything and I do mean, absolutely everything