Getting off Opiates- Its been a long road...

[Didler]

Is there anyone out there who has successfully quit opiates?  I need a little confidence booster.  Im looking for someone who has quit, and is happy, like they were before they kissed the devil.  Not on methadone, not on boxin or any other replacement.  I mean, a replacement is necessary, but it needs to be a healthy replacement.  Such as, work, exercise, a hobby...not methadone, boxin, so on...Not that I'm against those options, as long as they work for you.  But I havent seen a single one of my friends actually quit.  I tried suboxone, went to this small outpatient program put on by a couple doctors, about two months in, the goverment managed to shut down all the private clinics in town, for a couple months, so that everyone would be forced to either pick back up on their habit or go to the methadone clinic, which the government makes money off of.  Messed up,  I didnt go, I went back to buying opiates off the street.  Its been years going back and forth, between wanting to quit and not wanting to quit.  It doesnt help that Im the perfect candidate for being addicted to drugs.  Im an artist, both freelance and tattooing.  I come from two depressed parents, never known my real dad.  My mom tried to commit suicide when I was in high school, due to cutting down on her anti-depressants and hitting rock bottom.  My two best friends from childhood died in freak accidents, my best friend out of high school died from an overdose two weeks after I moved to Florida.  I moved back from florida after 2 years cause my uncle shot himself, he had a life long struggle with opiates, decided to end it,  so I had to move back to help my mom get through it.  I was clean in florida, when I moved back, I dove right back into oxy's.  Its hard moving back to the place it all began, I know too many people here, too many triggers.  Now Ive been trying to quit for a year,  Im the best Ive ever been.  Finally realizing that the high isnt even that great, its just been a way for me to numb the pain of life.  I havent ever dealt with all the bad things that happened in my life. My dealing with them was smoking a joint, or snorting a pill.  So selfish, time to deal with everything life can throw at me.  Like normal people.  I know how it feels to get clean, you feel like a totally different person, ready to take on the world.  You get a familiar feeling that you havent felt in years.  Its amazing.  But it takes some getting used to.  Its like your on coke, the amount of energy you have.  It takes a while for that to feel normal again.  Being on downers for so long, after taking some you felt normal, not high.  Then when you get off of them you feel high, not normal, but it just takes some time for your body to realize...you lost track of what normal really is, and how good it really is.  I just got to my moms house yesterday, staying here for two weeks to get back on track.  For the most part I have been on track, but I had a small relapse and lied to my girl about it, she found out and it seemed a lot worse than it was. So...here I am.  I dont blame her for wanting me out for a little while.  Its been a long road, for everyone involved.  Im getting clean, and thats a fact.  When I get back to reality, Im changing my phone #, Im letting my girl have control of my money, and at the tattoo shop Im wearing a sticker that says, "RECOVERING ADDICT, DONT OFFER ME S***!"  lol,  No joke though, I truly do want to quit and Im doing it cold turkey just to put an umph into it. Reminding myself that this ***** and I never want to go through this again.  Every time you relapse you have to set yourself a new rock bottom.  That bottom is when something terrible happens and you decide to quit.  Every time you start up again something even more terrible has to happen to give you that wake up call you need.  Dont wait, Do it now...before you end up destroying your life and hurting your loved ones beyond repair.  Or worse, death. Life is beautiful, so sad for it to be wasted on such a stupid drug, whos high really isnt anything to die over.  Love yourself, enough to be sober, enough to be happy sober.  

[Charetti]

I can almost guarantee you that you personally know people who have got clean after pills.  The problem is that for many its a private issue and you wouldnt hear about it.  Those people take a week off calling it the flu and then they struggle quietly as they get their lives back.  I am a counselor and I meet them all the time. You would never know to look at them..or me!

[rosier14]

I have been addicted to opiates for 15 years now and it has been the fight of my life with the devil in pill form I have gotten so bad I have been taking upto 30 Norco a day easy i pop morphines oxys used fentynl patches 100ml anything i can get my hands on i go through beginng of withdrawls 2 hours after taking the norcos Roxys Percocet vikes my body is that addicted.. I spend every penny i get buying them.. I hate myself who I have become just about every other month I go clean for a week tops and go threw the withdrawls cold turkey everytime but i go back everyime i want to quit so.bad it eats me alive inside i am beginning withdrwls again as I type oh god please someone help me i am desperate i dont want to OD and leave my son behind i am ony 40 years old and i feel tired.. How could I let this minster consume me like this i want to be free be me again laugh and feel it smile and mean it... I know I can be Happy off the pills i am miserable on them thank you for listening...

[taperme]

Just wanted to let you know tomorrow will be my 4th day clean. I'm not feeling great, but will be soon. And nothing bad enough to convince me that I hadn't made the right choice. Hang in there...you can do it.

[MikeZ720]

i just wanna say Ive been 4 years clean from 220 Mgs of METHADONE A DAY It is the anti christ and i love everyday that im off of it my opiate DTs were minor compared to it.and being in your final days is crucial for relapse.remember you never have it beat. i was actually fortunate and in Prison through my Detox But ive been through extensive meetings and Programs after being clean and just hearing the people tell their stories makes me never want it again.also when you think about picking it up remember every last ounce of pain and discomfort cause in our addictions looking back we always look at the euphoria and good times we never tend to focus on the bad times and helplessness and thats what you always need to do Good luck and may the force be with you

[Didler]

Thanks a lot guys, thanks... all of you...my family, my girlfriend, Im in the last stage of withdrawal, stomache is givin me hell.  But theres no turning back for me, C/T is the way to go, nothing good in life comes easy.  But it does help having support, whether its friends, family, or on here with people I dont even know, thats whats so cool is that we all share a struggle. Its tough but only the strong survive!  Going on 10 days, seems like a year, but Im taking off and not lookin back.  

[mxboggie]

I'm on my 3rd day of a long road.  I'm sick of this "kissed by the devil" life and I'm gonna stop.  Enjoyed your writing.  Best of luck to you and me!  Keep looking forward as will I.

[Skidmore]

There is true hope and potetial recovery for you my brother. I am clean of opiates 51 days.I went C/T no subs or anything else.I got involved with this forum A/A N/A and hooked up with newcomers in a recovery house.Life is awsome today my mind ,feelings,and ability to make the right choises are getting in order.I reach out to other drug addicts stay on track and thank my higher power .Life for me today has taken on new meanings.My electrical business has gotten a new bolt of spiritual influence,all because I am not using.My wife and 5 kids mean so much more to me today with this new found freedom.there is great wisdom coming from Ga,daisy and so many others posting here I will pray for you and may you start your jouney to a wonderful way of life without drugs.

[GA Guy]

I'm 10 months clean today and only take a blood pressure pill daily. If you want to see people who are happy, serene, and clean..go to an NA meeting. Last Friday we celebrated 8,7,5,3,1 and 1 years.

[Didler]

Thanks Daisy, its good to hear success stories.  I am confident I can get my life back, Ive never let it slip too far out of grasp, cause I always knew I was better than this,  Its just been a long fight and I can feel the end, its so close...I know it.  Congrats on being clean and prego!  Thats a beautiful thing.  Much needed confidence booster, thanks again for the support

[daisy699]

Hey well it seems like you have a great understanding/perspective on what being sober or "clean" is...So Yes there are many on here that have quit opiates successfully...Today I have 270 clean fron the devil HEROIN!!! No subs no done (ex cept the detox) I went to a 30 day detox/rehab.. I had had enough i wanted my life back and today I have it,I would call myself a success..so far today. I am now 6 mos pregnant and a wonderful mother to my 2 yr old daughter!!My life is beautiful and I do love it and I think everyone deserves a life free of the handcuffs of drugs...of any kind!!No matter what your doc is it eventually runs your entire life..Good Luck on getting clean and getting your beautiful life back..Daisy