Getting through Withdrawals

I want to stop taking perks and vic and need some help.  I started taking them about 3 years ago for many reasons.  There was a health concern but that was only for about 1 month, it was back problems.  Since then I have continued to take them off and on.  I am taking 3 perk 10's a day, which I'm not really sure if that's alot.  It has always felt that the high makes me deal with my life better.  I'm more social and tend to be more laid back.  I feel thats the biggest reason why I made the choice to continue to take them.  I do not doc shop or make up reasons to get them at a ER.  I just have a friend who has the ability to get some.  I don't ask questions on how they do it.  I have a very good job and have Masters degree, so money has never been a issue, which at times I feel is a bad thing.  I can't go to a doc or detox program with the problem because of my status within my community.  I am in the public's eye alot, and many people know me.  It would cost me my job without a doubt.  I want to stop because I find myself counting pills, and not being in control.  The feeling of wanting to make sure I don't run out, really gives me concern.  I want to put this chapter behind me and be pill free. My family has no idea about the problem.  I do not think my wife would understand it.  She is a woman that doesn't drink or have any drug issues.  She did get sick about 3 years ago with some mental issues- in short after a death of a family member she had a break down.  She was in the hospital for about a week and was giving meds to help cope but refused to take them and hasn't since. To be honest she has regrouped well.  This was about the time I started to take the pills, being the father ,this placed me in control of all parent responsilbities. I think that's why I started to use, it gave me that energy to take kids to all the events and care for my little one.  I quess I just wanted to post to get some feed back on someone outside looking in. Any suggestions on how to stop this addiction. Cold Turkey? Cut back a little each day before I stop c/t.  Withdrawals are a concern but I do have time to miss work.  That would not be a problem, and I really do want to stop, and I believe I can. I am new to this form although I have read it alot in the past. I simply never posted

[bmdad]

The good news is your habit isn't that big as of yet. But, addiction is addiction not matter what the amount. It is not so much the amount of pills but the mental properties that goes along with it. Be proud of yourself that you caught it when you did. Most do not. You mentioned that you do not doctor shop or try to get some prescribed at the er. If you do not put a stop to this now, I can almost assure you that down the road you will be going to the er or maybe even doctor shop. When I first started taking vicodin for back and sciatic problems I never took more than prescribed and was on them for a year. I finally had surgery and the pain subsided. I stopped taking them and didn't realize I was having withdrawals until I joined a forum. People told me I was fortunate I stopped when I did since I was only taking 8, 5mg vicodin a day. They said if I continued to take them I would more than likely double, triple, or even quadruple the amount I was taking. I kinda laughed on the inside because I didn't think it was humanly possible to take that many. I mean, where would I get them? Wouldn't taking more than prescribed kill me? I thought everyone was joking around about the amount they were taking a day. Anyways, it would never happen to me.
Fast forward a year. My back and sciatic pain came back due to scar tissue. I started back on the pills and my tolerance grew. And what do you know. I found out the hard way that the ones trying to help me were not lying about the amount one could take. I went from physically dependent to mentally addicted. I tried quitting off and on for a few years. I even had 6 months of clean time but always seemed to go back. I finally decided enough was enough and have put them down for good. I will not put myself or my family through it again.
Since you are taking 3 a day you could probably cold turkey off of them with a little discomfort. But, since your use is not out of control you could also try a taper. Most here will recommend to just toss them but I have tapered before when I wasn't on too high of an amount and got through with little to no withdrawals. You could maybe try cutting back a bit and see what you think and decide from there. But if you want to be done today, just get rid of what you have and go for it.
Check in to the amino acid protocol. It really does help. It also helped me with the mental aspect of swallowing pills each day. I somewhat had a mental addiction to vitamins! I stopped taking all but fish oil and a multivitamin without a problem though. Be sure to start exercising. If the withdrawals are tough it can be hard to muster up the energy to do so but force yourself. It makes a world of difference. Take hot baths as needed for the chills. Be sure to stay busy. Don't lay around feeling sorry for yourself. I've done it both ways and the time I exercise was much easier. The easiest time for me was when I was working 7 days a week, 12 hour shifts. I didn't have a chance to lay around. So if possible, try to continue with your everyday routine. Anyone can if they keep a strong mindset and push through. It is by no means easy, but possible.
You may want to look in to NA. I know you said with your public status you need to keep this on the low down so maybe even an addiction therapist. You need to get to the core issues of why you are using. I'm sure you know why you started due to your wife being sick and trying to care for your kiddos but there are probably a few other issues that need to be addressed. We can't do this on our own. Sometimes we know why we are or were using but cannot usually fix it or just bury it away.
I'm just happy you caught this when you did. I'm sure your thinking you use will never get too far out of control but over time it will more than likely happen. Get a plan together, pick a date, and go for it. Come on here and post often. Also, answer other people's post as it helps with the motivation factor while detoxing. We will be behind you every step of the way. Keep a strong mindset, stay motivated, and know anything is possible if you put your mind to it. You will beat this!
Best of luck!

Brian

[jstntime]

Hey jordy and welcome.

Brian is sooooo right because NOW is your time.  It will never get easier than NOW.  Your dose and habit are at the very low end of things but when it starts to grow it will do so exponentially.  I went from taking prescribed amount for a long time but when it grew it went fast.  I could never have predicted my eventual need and desire for the exact same drug you are taking.

Set up a taper and make a schedule and tell yourself that the first time you take more than the schedule allows per day, the rest go in the drain and you start eating some cold turkey.  

The other advice from above is good about staying busy.  That was what got me through my wd because I worked too.  Being busy is a great distraction and you really won't suffer too bad physically from that daily dose.  I just can't stress enough that you need to get it done now because it WILL get out of hand.

I wish you well,

bob

[jordy662]

Your right about the down time.  Right now I have some time off work and it seems tougher to want to stop.  I have very little requirements until the evening time, therefore during the day it gets tough to occupy your mind and habits. Exercise is something I have done for years, I spend about a 1 hour a day at the gym, and of course the sunna. Which I feel helps with my aches.  I have 5 left, I thought about taking 2 today, 2 Tom, and one and then done.  Or maybe just say done and flush. I have tons of vitiamins and items I bought about a year ago from the Thomas Recpit.  I quess I could try this again, it did work at the time. Again, your right about the addiction being mental- the physical part doesnt really concern me.  Now I have always had a problem sleeping, you know turning off the switich.  I have been taking ambien for about 1 year now.  I'm the type who has always had a tough time time sleeping.  I have to take it and then start my reading before falling a sleep.  If I remember correctly lack of sleep is one of the withdrawals? So, my dosage is not very high? How long before energy comes back to us. I'm sure the want for pills will likley be there for some time.  Thanks for your comments and knowledge, it helps just writing this.

[jstntime]

Hey again,

I took codeine for a long time before switching to oxys and I never had a problem if I ran out of codeine.  Now codeine and percs aren't the same but I could take many per day and stop easily.  Maybe a couple of night sweats and a touch of the runs but very tolerable.  

Sleep could be a bit of a problem but regardless, it is only temporary and shouldn't be severe.  Energy return should also be fairly quick.  Yes your dose is low, very few people have the realization this early into their use that they need to stop.  

Writing here is very therapeutic, especially when you feel like you have nobody to speak to about this.  Which is why you need to find somebody to speak to about this!!!!  Because it too will be very therapeutic and help you tremendously.

Sounds like you have a solid plan.  Let us know how it works out!!!
Goodluck,

bob

[bmdad]

Insomnia is one of the withdrawals. It effects nearly everyone. I was prescribed ambien during withdrawals but to no avail. Ambien can also be addicting so I would be careful with that. Have you ever tried melatonin? Our bodies produce it naturally and it can also be bought over the counter. Once we become an addict we almost always tend to take more than prescribed no matter what the med. But for right now just worry about the percs. Taking 2 tomorrow, 2 the next day, and one the next day is not a taper. You would be better off just flushing what you have and going for it. I proper taper usually consists of dropping your dose by a certain amount every 3 to 5 days. If tapering you want to wait until your body gets use to being at a lower dose before dropping it more. That being said, dropping your dose over the next few days won't help. If you go cold turkey now I'm guessing you will feel much better in about 5 days. The first time I stopped taking vicodin and was only taking 6 to 8, 5mg a day, once day 5 hit I felt fine. My energy was 85% back and sleep was back on track. But once my addiction got out of control it took longer for the withdrawals to subside. They often last almost 2 weeks. It took me a month before my sleep and energy returned to a manageable level. Since you are still at a low dose your energy will probably return rather quickly. The longer you are on them and  the more you take will make the withdrawals last much longer. So I'm guessing if you stop now you will feel so much better in about a week or so. Withdrawals do effect everyone differently though. It's going to help you quite a bit that you already exercise. Force yourself to continue that. Also, start taking the vitamins right away even if you are still taking the percs. The sooner you start getting those nutrients in you, the better. If you quit now before you end up taking more and more will save you a huge headache down the road. If only I would have listened to the warnings from others!
Hang in there. You will make it through this. We are here to help you along the way!

Brian

[dominosarah]

You are in good hands with Bob and Brian.........They have given you excellent advice.

[jordy662]

Hey Guys.

I am feeling ok today.  I did take 2 percs yesterday, one around noon and the other around 5 .  Haven't taking anything today. I do have a little discomfront but its nothing to complain about.  Your norm (lower back pain, really bad runny nose, very litle sleep, small headache) but nothing that is a big deal. I find myself saying what's the point to continue taking them (four of them left) its just preventing the detox. I have started the vitamins today as well. I quess its just the mental part, fear of the unknown.  I think if I can get through the first 4 days, I will turn the corner.

[ANewLife4Me]

You are right - there is no point in taking them!  It will only slow the process up and you don't want to do that.  Please consider flushing them, I know it's easier said than done but just think about it....
Stay strong today, you can do this!!!!

[jordy662]

I took a half today around 2:30.   I think it will be better to taper for my body even though it prolongs the problem.  I will see how I feel, I should of flushed.  This is just the mental game that I'm going to win.

[Storme]

Flush the rest. Just do it and start yourself on the right path. You know you need to do it so do not delay it any longer by taking another and then another and so on. You can do this jordy!

[jordy662]

I broke all ties with my pill connection today. They called and I told them I was done.  I actually feel good about it.  There is no turning back now.  I had to break through that wall.  Changing my relationships.  I feel its a step in the right direction.

[jstntime]

Hey,

Great step!!!!  Yes it's in the right direction!!!!  It's a good move to make NOW while you are strong so that in a weaker moment you don't cave.

Awesome job!!!

bob

[jordy662]

So far so good. Beating it.

[badshadow]

Congratulations on your progress.  Your doing great.  I'm still working on my taper, but I will be glad when I'm free of these pills and have my life back.

The Sleeping is very hard for me, I have Ambien but have hardly ever used it for fear of becoming dependent on another medication, but I might use it for a week or two to help with the bad withdrawal and anxiety.

Reading about people like you that are quitting and dealing with their withdrawals helps me mentally think that I can do it too.

I think the mental part is definitely at least half if not more of the process.  The withdrawals can be hard, but eventually they do pass.  I have to keep telling myself that so I can get through the next minute/hour/day.   I agree that it does help to keep as busy as possible.  Time has never seemed to go so slow as when I've been really sick with withdrawals, no sleep, and can't focus or concentrate on anything.

Keep up the good job.

[ANewLife4Me]

Way to go jordy - hang in there!  That was another huge step you took in breaking that pill connection!

[jordy662]

I feel one of the most important things is staying busy, simply occupying your mind.  Finding something to take your focus off the withdrawals, so Im going to go do some work outside and go to the gym. I seem to be sweating alot anyway.lol

Everyone thanks for thinking about me.  Badshadow- This too shall pass, we can.

[ANewLife4Me]

How are you doing today?

[jordy662]

Well guys.  So far so good.  I've been taking alot of vitiams today, went to GNC.  So far I feel thats helped alot.  Again, the key for me is staying busy. I took half a perc yesterday around 5pm or so and nothing today.  I have 1/2 a perc left and don't think I will take it. So really as of today at 5 it will be actually one full day with nothing.  I went three days taking two, and yesterday I decided just to take 1/2 becuse I felt good. So I can really just say the taper process is now complete. Into c/t we go.  The next few days are going to be a tough one. In time will tell.
Jordy

[laurel453]

hey, i wanted to wish you luck now and congratulate you for the decision you have taken....

you have been given very good advice :)

now, all the best, jordy

[jordy662]

Well Im on day 2 of c/t.  Actually I took 1/2 a perk three days ago.  Things going well.  The cravings in the morning seem to be gone at least the past three or four days. Again Im taking the products I got at GNC (Amino Acids).  I do seem to get hot and cold flashes, sweating alot.  Last night I had a little trouble sleeping, but did get about 5 hours in of sleep. I do not want to go backwards thats for sure.  Also, the bannas before bed time I think is helping as well (RLS). Alot of praying too. I hope everybody stays the course and gets through this.  We must remember staying clean is very important to our families.  The support on here is wonderful, it helps me so much.  You guys have no idea how it makes me keep going. I can do this right!!!!

[jstntime]

Really happy to hear you doing ok,

5 hours of sleep is great.  If you were going to get wd real bad, you sure would know it by now.  I think you're going to be fine.

Keep keeping!!!!

bob

[jordy662]

Thanks for checking on me.  Another day, still hanging in there.  Less pain today, staying busy.  3 complete days of c/t. Just being active has help alot. Amino Acid has helped some too.  Sleep about 5 hours last night, we will see how things go the rest of the day.  Thanks again guys!!!

Jordy

[jstntime]

Hey again,

It looks like you are well on your way.  I agree about the staying busy part.  It was the single best advice anyone ever gave me to get through wd.  

You are so wise to have stopped this before it gets out of hand.  

You have also proven that using is merely a symptom of addiction and has nothing whatsoever to do with the size of your habit.  Perhaps some seeing this thread may just realize that they too have a problem despite only taking several per day.  To those people, you have done a great service.

Very very happy for your progress,
Keep keeping!!!!!

bob

[sspin]

MY NAME IS SCOTT. I HAD A DISC FUSION ON FRIDAY MAY 21ST. IVE BEEN ON PERCS FOR ABOUT A YEAR DUE TO A CAR ACCIDENT. I STARTED WITH 1 PILL A 5MG NOW IM UP TO 4 OR 5 10 MGS  A DAY I LOVE THE FEELING BUT KNOW IM HEADED DOWN A BAD ROAD. I CAN GO A COUPLE OF DAYS WITH OUT THEM BUT I KNOW I WANT THEM. IM UP ALL NIGHT I DONT EAT MUCH AND I FALL ASLEEP DURING THE DAY. I GOT 60 PILLS THE DAY OF MY SURGERY (4 DAYS AGO) AND I HAVE TAKEN PROB 25 OR SO SINCE.THAT WAS MAY 21ST.I HAVE BEEN GETTING PERCS EVERY TIME MY SCRIPT RUNS OUT ALL THOUGH I WAIT THE REQUIRED TIME FRAME. I DONT DOC SHOP AND I DONT GO TO THE ER AND I DONT BUY THEM FROM ANY1.......ITS NOW AUGUST1ST I HAVE SWITCHED FROM PERCS TO VICS I TAKE 3- 7.5S AT ONE TIME ONCE A DAY.I KEEP SAYING I WILL STOP AFTER THIS SCRIPT RUNS OUT. I AM AN ADDICT I KNOW I AM MY WIFE KNOWS I AM BUT TO HER I DENY IT. IRONICALLY THEY STILL WORK. IF YOU READ THIS GET OFF THESE DANGEROUS PILLS BEFORE ITS TO LATE. IF I CANT I WILL CHECK MY SELF IN TO AN OUT PATIENT DRUG PROGRAM. I HAVE TO FOR MY HEALTH AND FAMILIES WELL BEING.
THANKS FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!

[notgoingdown]

just wondering... what reasons does your wife have for thinking you are an addict even though you deny to her? Do you deny just the addiction part or do you deny taking them, how many or how often?

[jordy662]

Again thanks so much for staying with me guys.  Everything seems to be going well.  Staying the course, just wanting to stop it before it got out of hand.  Small back pains but thats about it right now. Day 5 and no turning back.

[laurel453]

that's good news, jordy...and you are right : no turning back... having this on mind you will see too that "this too shall pass" whenever you feel down, think that this too shall pass..

good luck today and tell us how you are doing!!

[jstntime]

Great job Jordy!!!

It sounds like you're doing well.  One day at a time and you will feel the grip loosening.  It sure is nice to see another success story around here!!!

Very proud of you for your what you have accomplished,
Keep keeping!!!!!!

bob

[Cris718]

Hello!  Looks like you and I both are on Day 5.  How are you feeling today?  I have to admnit, as I was reading throught this post and all the great reponses, my heart swelled up inside.  I'm so proud that you made the decision to quit.

This forum is one of the reasons I am doing so well.  So many helpful and understanding people here.  It's hard to explain to people who don't have addiction problems what your going through, but here....you can say just about anything...and we understand.  

I didn't take many considering the other strories I've read here, mainly about 1-5 a day....but it turned me into a person I hated, (coutning pills, worried I did have enough for the day) it's sad isn't it?  I felt just like you, when I took them that I had energy to deal with the kids, but that's the lie we get caught in.  They don't help us be better parents, we're going to be better parents for what we are doing now.

Again, so proud of you taking control!!  Exercise has saved me, I get up and walk every morning....I actually even ran this morning!!  I haven't done that in years!!  :)  It feels good to take your life back doesn't it?

Just keep posting....even if your being tempted....feeling weak....we're going to have good days and bad days...(my bad day was yesterday)  and a good freind on here pulled me through it.  Keep going man!!!!

Cris~

[pillfree21]

Cris and Jordy......great job, I read through this entire thread this morning, it always makes me smile to see people take the plunge back to the normal life.....I wish you the best with your recovery.