Going to my 1st N/A meeting

[enemy48]

I've finally decided to go to a N/A meeting.  My ex hubby who's been clean from everything for 9 months asked me to meet him this afternoon for a meeting.

So many of you have preached the after care of addiction.  I'm on day 25 and have basically isolated myself from society in order to stay away from my enemy.  I've been cooped up in my house and going out to the rig now & then.  I really haven't accomplished anything else in 25 days.

I don't crave my pills anymore, but just can't seem to get back into the swing of things in everyday life.  I just sit here and lurk on this forum 24/7....but it has been a blessing to have yall.

So why am I so freaked about going to a meeting?  I believe that it's mostly because I'm alone in this & have kept this addiction and detox from my boyfriend & family.  I guess I'm worried about the label.

Has anyone here been so scared to attend a meeting?  Has anyone here stayed clean for a long time without attending a meeting?

What am I going to get out of this?  .

[hellokitty1546]

Hi...I don't know if this applies or not.  I was clean for 2 years from heroin and I could only do it through NA.  I had surgery which led me to pain killers and this forum.  I'm trying again but thankfully I have a sponsor and roots in NA to help me.  I hated NA at first but now I really like going.  You'll make fabulous friends there.  Give it a try

[worried878]

I went to an NA meeting last night...my second one...I bought the book and plan on reading every page...I am not sure that anyone else there had my same DOC, but it sure will help...they all gave me their numbers after the meeting...I did not know that if you are still using that you were supposed to remain silent so I screwed up but they were great!  They all socialize together and do "clean" things...it was a ladies group

[enemy48]

Worried:  That's funny!

IBK:  I'll come back on after the meeting & let yall know.  Thanks.

[untwisting]

I've gone to a couple of different NA meetings. The second group I went to seemed to "fit" much better than the first one. It was really hard going - went by myself and felt like I had a big spotlight on me and everybody was looking at me (and not because of my ravishing beauty!)  Of course nobody was and there were a couple of people that were extremely welcoming. It felt good once the meeting started and I heard people saying the exact same things that I've been thinking and struggling with. Meetings are gonna be an important part of my being clean. If your first meeting doesn't feel right, don't quit, go to other meetings and find another one. It's worth it! good luck

[addictedme]

"na makes no distinction between drugs,our identification as addicts is all inclusive allowing us to concentrate on our similarities and not our differences" When I 1st started na I looked for a meeting full of heroin users cause I thought ,,what can a crackhead,speedfreak,drinker,whatever,,,how could they understand what I was going thru. 7 yrs later and I couldnt tell you what each person in a meeting used. Addiction is about feelings and trust me,it just doesnt matter what vehicle you used to get where you are. Recovery is about change. I"ve never attended one but I"m sure that in overeaters anonymous it doesnt matter if you got there cause of chocolate cake or tacos. On the other hand if someone shares  and there doc is obviously pills theres nothing wrong with having a personal conversation or relationship because of the similarities. Comfort is important in recovery. Being an addict or just being dependant is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you have a desire to not use drugs? If the answer is yes then your a member as soon as you walk thru those doors,theres a chair with your name on it so thats how you should feel when you walk in that meeting. You may be an addict but walking into a meeting means your a courages,determined person,,,your not an addict anymore,,,your a RECOVERYING addict.

[flmagi]

Yes, I was very, very nervous about going to an N/A meeting. Even had an anxiaty attack while I was there. I think I was on day 4 of withdrawels so that probably didn't help. I didn't care for that meeting and never went back. Going to try it again soon, different meeting. I'll be feeling better this time when I go, which should make a difference in my attitude towards it. As long as they don't make me read out loud (I don't do public speaking)lol.

[enemy48]

I still have mixed feelings, but will continue to go.  

There was too much reading as my ADD was kicking in, but I did enjoy being with my own people & listening to discussion.

There's way more support here than where I went today.  I'll try another day and another place.  This was at a rehab hospital.  1/3 of the group were still detoxing and it hurt me to see that pain in the face of another.  

[codeinewife]

I may not be the addict, but I just want to put in my two-cents and congratulate you on giving it a try.  I agree with IBKleen, shop around, each meeting has a different feel and format and hopefully one or more will be a fit for you.  Turns out I work for a guy who is 20 years clean and very active in NA.  When I found out about my AH and told him- he looked at me and said "that it explains it all".  He plunked me into Alanon, told me to get some books and takes me along to NA meetings too!  I have to say, I have never admired a group of people more for their dignity, courage, kindness and humanity!  I don't participate, it's not my place, but I'm accepted anyway.  Most don't know that I am not an addict, and those that do know have been nothing but kindness and grace.  I know this is from a different perspective than what you're going through, I just wanted to throw in my experience too to help encourage you to give it another go.  Good luck to you and congratulations on your clean time!