Good Morning and Thanks to alll

I have received a lot of help from people here.  I don't know how to thank you.  I haven't been clean this long in over 3 years and it is both terrifying and exciting.

For those who are just under way and facing the w/d head on...hang in there it isn't easy, but it is do able...

Like I said I have never faced this part of the w/d phase before, always went back.  I do feel like a human again, but my legs still ache and I feel so tired.  Is this normal, what have you guys done to fight this?

Again Thanks for everyting...
God Bless
My Real name is Rob

[MMT-Md]

Hello, Tuss I'm glad to see you have made the choice to become clean. I'm new so I haven't got to know everyones story as far as drug of choice,amount used per day, and length of time used etc...This of course helps to determine alot of things just based on those factors alone. But over time I hope to get to know each of you and you all can get to know me better. Now, to your question which is a great question that is fairly common in my practice. Patients come to me and they just started the process to get clean, and there wondering way are my legs aching like I just ran mile after mile? This is due to the opiates which as you know are painkillers they have covered any aches and pains that may have been present during your drug use, these drugs stay in your system for several days and with the amount that you took plays a big part. For instance when a doctor prescibes pain meds to someone that isn't addicted to them they take 1 every 4 hrs and that holds them, so just imagine how much pain you are covering up. Forget about the high, but being pain free during that whole time you were using. Your body gets use to it. Your body also makes (DU) which is a chemical that provides you with your bodys own painkillers, but you have stopped that process due to the opiates. You ask well I'm not using any opiates now, well it will take your body some time to regain them. For now get some  excercise to provide your legs with good blood flow.  The second part of your question being tired is a physical and emotional element that is very common, your body has been on a roller coaster ride that was non-stop for a long period of time. Your body will only do so much to regain that strength, and the other part you will need to do. Set normal patterns such as eating habits,sleeping,excercising habits and taking good care of yourself. Also take a mult-vitamin. I hope this helps, your doing great so keep it up!!!!!!
                           Dr.Mike

[Tuss-ex]

Thanks for the information and the encoragement.  It is great when you can get some advice from a professional also.  Also, I don't trust myself to see any medical doctor directly,  that temptation would be very hard right now...

Just for the record I have been using almost constantly for the past 3+ years.  My drug of choice is Tussonex.  During the last year I would take any thing with hydrocodone mostly to avoid the w/d.  I have tried several times all unsucessful to stop.  I tried to do it alone, this for me would not work.  I have opened up to my family, become a constant user of this board, also I have sought professional help from a therapist who specalizes in substance abuse problems.

I have never been this far before...I have everyone to thank for kind words and advice when I really needed (need) them....

God Bless

[Moxy-oxy]

Finally posting after all this time...i have been getting high for the past six years. At 22 now, what once was a pot and alcohol fetish, has turned into a heroin, oxycontin, dilaudid lifestyle. I work in Los Angeles, in the movie business, where self-involvement and eccentricity are nurtured. I love the lifestyle, the drugs, women, money. I got to a point recently where my habit was completely out of control. I was on 800mg a day of oxy, and I just couldn't get high anymore. So I started on a methadone detox regimen, but I haven't followed it very well. I want to stop, drugs control my life, and I hate the feeling of nervousness when running out of money or drugs is a possibility,(which it always is, there is never enough). But I just don't feel ready to stop, if that makes any sense. I still have some stupid egocentric stubborn part of me that still thinks I can handle it. I need help pushing that away and trying to get healthy! I respect everyone on this forum, and their struggles and accomplishments. I don't want to have to hit some all-time low to force me into quitting.

[I'm Done]

Does anyone know about mixing Effexor XR (antidepressant) with Vicodin??

I'm Done

[Sean5110]

Thank you for your post. You sound a bit like me when I was younger, that is, the pot, alchohol, LSD led to cocaine and finally heroine. That was about 15 years ago. I spent several years going back and forth but it always got worse when I'd pick up again. I quit about 9 years ago but recently started to abuse the prescription drug hydrocodone. I can't tell you how I long for that day six months ago when I made the fatal decision to unleash my habit again. There is nothing so gratifying as working hard, being honest, and, for me, drudging through the difficult tasks of husband and father. I've been like a little kid these last few months, hiding, lying, seeking my "fix" at any expense while the people around me have been walking the real road of life, experiencing the challenges, and enjoying the inherent rewards of lives well-lived.

It's not a matter of getting to the bottom, or to a place where we are forced to quit. It always dawns on me in hindsite that I could have made the effort to quit at any point along the way. That I didn't, and have procrastinated so long is a symptom of my selfishness, not that I "wasn't ready". I am asking myself, when is it not the right time to do the right thing? And, will I ever regret having done the right thing simply because I did it before circumstances got uncontrollably hellish? I hope to have the will to continue a tapering program I just started today (approx. 50% dosage cut). I want to be off this stuff in the next two weeks. If I am, I'll never ever regret it. I know that.

[OxyDout]

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THIS SITE IS ALL ABOUT PLEASE
I NEED INFORMATION IMMEDIATELY.

[koalabear]

Where the hell have you been?

I've been worried sick about you, you haven't posted since 9/6!

WHAT'S UP?

Leah

[Moxy-oxy]

Hi Sean, I have to admit I identify most with you, a hardworking urban professional. If I were you, and I found tapering difficult on the hydrocodone, I would go on a methadone detox program. Methadone is a long acting opiate, and they put you on a schedule so you don't have to mess around with pills and halves of pills. You just take your dose once a day, and you don't get sick. I did not give my social security number, to make it as confidential as possible, I suggest you do the same. Methadone gets a bad rap, but it will hold you for a full 24 hrs. Let me know if you want more info. Maybe I am just too young to fully realize a sober lifestyle. I am a hardworker, and I am ambitious, and although I know the drugs don't help, I still for some reason have an air of invincibility. How was it being clean from heroin for all that time? Were you depressed? On drugs life is more exciting, and boredom is not a factor. Off them I have trouble dealing with the monotony of everyday existence. Having graduated from college recently, I have had trouble assimilating to the normal 9-5 lifestyle. I'm a guy who loves to live dangerously, to push the envelope. But ultimately, I understand the loneliness and fear that accompany the disease, which is what you describe. Please post back.

[OxyDout]

this is his sister, I'm very confused in what is going on, I know about his situation, can you explain more about what goes on here please

[OxyDout]

My brother told me about this site, he said it was helpful to him, but he has had a bad episode for the last 5 days. He has been very depressed and angry in rememberance of his lost roommate on sept. 11th. I'm trying to help but he has snapped, I have never seen him this way. He has so much built up inside of him and hes finally showing his remorse for losing a best friend. Pleas tell me how I can help him, I know he posted here a lot, so I'm hoping you can fill me in....... thanks.

[Sean5110]

I'm hoping that the relative short term of my use (last 6mo with a 2 week abstinance about three months ago) and the relative small dosage to which I've been accustomered 160-220 mg / day, will enable me to taper down on my own. Today I'm at 50% of my usual dose and, while it is mentally difficult, it is physically ok.

Your question regarding how it was for the 9 years of drug-free living: Actually, I replaced the drugs with an intense desire to learn (finished college, got an MBA, CFA, all at night, working on CPA), got married, had 4 kids, moved 5 times (promotions), did the wall street thing, now am VP at a bank; so, I haven't been bored. It has been monotonous at times (life is like that, you know -- tedious, like it's the little things done consistently that have a far greater long-term effect on our lives than the grandiose events). But even tedium grew to have its pleasantries. A lawn to mow, a diaper to change, bread and milk to buy; but most importantly, a reliance on a God who is very much in the details of things and is my greatest fan. The moment I started using again, I turned my back on all of that to the extent that there is no merit in participating in those activities. I'm living a life of deception. It really feels like I want to get back home. Home can be a difficult place but it is a place where things will always work out because of loving honest relationships and more importantly, it allows God access to my heart and the details of my life.

[onestep]

Hey doc.....I've been on Hydro / norco for about 1 year....about 8 a day. The last 4 months I've aloso taken 10 mg of Ambien at night to help sleep. I've come to a crossroads, knowing I've been using the opiates primarily for stress...the Ambein does help me sleep and I've tried to cut down to 5 mg a night. Should the wd's be as bad as I've been experiencing....twitching bad...feeling like my blood pressure is high etc... I know it's different for each person.

I've made an appointment with a shrink in two days because the depression is getting out of hand....

[koalabear]

Can you tell him to get on this board and post to us?  We can help him.

[koalabear]

I don't know if this is true, but if this is truly his sister, does anyone know how to reach him?  It sounds like he's in a crisis and needs us!

I told his sister to tell him to post to us!

[Msblacey]

I wonder if his siter knows about his situation in its enitirty..why so many question?

Kinda wierd~

[koalabear]

Please be careful what you say to this person, we don't know who she is.  Until we hear from him, please refrain from getting into a mess with his "sister".

[Msblacey]

I agree, let's not disclose any personal or confidential informaiton.  lLe I said, this person may not even be aware of nay drug problem~

[bmac]

God it's good to be straight.This was the part I feared most.But it feels pretty good.I have not taken anything at all in 28 hrs.
Stopped the Wellbutrin when I began to feel like I was taking
bad speed.I don't need to exchange drugs for drugs.I got help
with my guilt and the feeling like is this what 'straight' is?
Got some really good advice from two different people today
that deal with addiction and basically they both agreed I
could get better.Just need time to roll on for me.It
won't be long and it will be 6 months then that one year.
I am a winner and I will always remember what happens here
everyday.I went back and read all my posts.I was one screwed
up puppy when I got here.Today I am stronger than I have been
in 10 years.21 days clean!!!!!
                            bmac(Bill)

[chinco-women]

Good morning! Bmac,thank you for responding to my post a couple of days ago.I've been very busy spackling and painting my home in preparation for my move into a drug free enviroment.I've checked in and read all the post but haven't found the time to sit here and two finger type.I didn't tell you before but the way we do our hydro and oxy is by crushing and snorting.It's really hard to fight the urge when the dish with the spoon and straw are sitting there by the bed every morning already warmed up by the boyfriend.I don't need to see that all of the time.It tugs at me every time I look at it.I've done pretty good, I
Talk think.For the last 3days,I've gotten by on 4 vic's a day for yhe first two days to take the edge off,ran out and had to settle for a couple fo Perc10's.I have been breaking them in half but thats still more than a Vic.I have a friend I'm going to ask to give me a certain amount of Vics a day to me when I get them today.This is the first time I've tried to taper off.I get that hot feeling in my chest and the fatigue in between doses but thats not all that bad.Maybe I don't have It as bad as I thought.Anyway,I'm not useing to get high,just to take the edge off until things slow down around here and I can have some time off to feel like ****.My job is seaonal and my load will be lightened soon.If my boss only knew why I was so cheerful all of the time and had so much energy,I would be fired.Also,I'm going to make an appointment with the Doc for any help I can get.This Doc had to go to "SERENITY LODGE"for the same thing,in fact,we were splitting scripts for awhile He wrote them,and I would hit every drugstore within a 50 mile radius.I think he would do whatever it takes to help me get through this.I'll be checking in later.Thanks again,Denise

[chinco-women]

I want to add that finding this forum is going to be of great help to me.I really look forward to getting back to the computer to read about everyones struggles and successes.Now,I don't feel alone and this has made it easier for me to confide in some of my friends about this,since I now know that I have nothing to be ashamed of and I'm only a speck of sand in the beach of users.Good luck to everyone!!!!! Denise

[koalabear]

Awesome job!  Keep up the good work, buddy.  

You are an inspiration to this board!

Leah

[tammygirl30]

good morning everyone!! just wanted to say i made it to day 3!! i feel a lot better today then yesterday, i did not think i would make it and spent most of the day crying because i couldnt handle the wd. i did however have trouble sleeping, i took to tylenol pm and went to sleep at 9:00 and woke up at midnight and couldnt get back to sleep at all. but i will take being tired over what i felt yesterday anytime!!! i think the worst of wd is over for me, since i didnt take as many daily like i did before, i wouldnt with the way i felt on anyone and i have a great deal of respect for anyone who has completly beat this monster. wow what an accomplishment!!! i now will fight the mental aspect of it which is harder than hell for me and i want to thank all who cared and checked up on me, i really could not get through this without you all thank you tammy

[bmac]

You will do this.I know the mental part is hard but believe me it's character building.I worried about you yesterday because
I could tell in your voice that you were really w/ding.
I promise it will stop.It did for me a couple of days ago.
I have been straight for 22 days and my body feels really good today.Remember to eat and don't worry about the sleep thing,
On about day 10 you will sleep like a baby.Your body will say enough of this and it will just sleep.I promise.If you need
to vent you know where we are.
                            peace tammy,
                              bmac

[OxyDout]

Oh god this has been awful, FIRST OFF, yes that was indeed my sister.  She is very sensitive, "hypersensitive"  Unfortunately, my computer automatically logs on and she wanted to see what was "wrong with me"..................... I guess I can't get too mad because she was supposedly trying to help.

I haven't been posting because I have been extremely depressed, and with the 1 year anniversary I just cant hold myself up.  I'm having a very difficult day, I couldn't keep the tears back today, I just really miss my friend.  Can someone talk to me about this, I need friends today.  

Again I apologize for my sister trying to break into this forum, but it was indeed my sister. But I do appreciate the concern that Koala that it might be someone else snooping around..........

Thanks guys,

GWH

[kell737]

Good morning.   I'm so glad you made it to day 3!  That is awesome!  Just don't let those devilish thoughts in your head takeover.  We all get them, telling us to take one more, just one more. DONT DO IT!   Fight it with everything you have.   I'm still praying for you and wishing you the best.  Keep in touch.  

~ Kell

[bmac]

Yea today sux.I didn't lose anyone that day but my wife is
an army reserve nurse and has been on standby since sept 18,01.
Everytime the phone rings I jump.She knows that she will be on a plane going to a MASH unit if we invade Iraq.I have watched all of the memorials on TV.Like you I am depressed a little and it breaks my heart these ruthless cowards flew those planes into those buildings last year.It has effected us all.I expect
any day now for my wife to be activated and I don't need that right now but it isn't about me anymore.
Take some peace in knowing you are not alone.We are here.
                            bmac(Bill)

[OxyDout]

Its very sad.  I know what you mean because thats the other half of my story.  My brother was in the military (army) but the recruiters/MP came to our house yesterday to sign paper work, he is being re-activated. He will not be sent over seas for a month or more, but just the idea is enough to break my heart. But GOD BLESS HIM, he wants to go.............  

I just wanted to say GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU, be careful today.

GWH

[koalabear]

Will the real GWH PLEASE STAND UP!

hahhaha!

Hey, hope you are doing ok.  I've missed your posts.  I'm sorry you aren't doing well.

We're here for you any time you're ready!

Leah

[BayGirl]

I am house sitting and using the owners PC- so, I am not BAYGIRL.  Friends call me RJ.
Dude-you've got a problem, man. Your sister, your brother (is that the dude who was using  Oxy's and  CAUSED you to relapse...boohoo...hahaha! and now being called by the military? God help this country.....)
Been reading your posts dude- you are what they call PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.  You are real quick to doubt others and abuse them (and then throw in the "hahaha"!) Passive dude.  Aggressive dude.  Real unkind.  Accusing Alexandra of stealing percocets.  I believed her- I would have taken the xanax for sleep too.  Dude, your comments are a reflection of yourself and your own poor self image.
I suggest you read these posts everyday and NOT comment.  Pay close attention to Hellbent and Alexandra. Now there's sobriety AND humility. They have good hearts.
Go back and read your posts leading up to your relapse-  You were '"romancing"  the drug.  Not surprised you relapsed.  I wonder if you ever got sober...hahahahaha.  (gwh-love your hahahaha!!!)
You are THE most self-centered addict.  No wonder you don't go to meetings- probably asked you to leave, eh?
I've been reading your **** for months while the Mrs. is summering, and just want to ask you to shut your Pie Hole and daily drama.  Your taking up space for another addict who wants to get clean.  You were also mean to PillHead and Clean.  I could hear their desire to live clean and now they do not post because of you and your fat Pie Hole.  Pity your "fiance" if there is one. I think not.  You live in a  nightmare.
Do us a favor and stay off this forum.

[chasers]

Who the hell do you think you are??? I have only posted here twice asking a question and the one you are bashing is one of the people that took time to answer my question! Talking about being self centered....you must be BORED getting on someone elses computer under their user name to bash some one else! Geez, this must've been eating at you for along time! Are you just now getting the nerve to post? YOU get a life!

[BayGirl]

To quote GWH: "I was only kidding, ha ha ha ha."

Besides, I was speaking to your fearless leader, gwh.

lol, RJ

[chasers]

OOPS!! Eating crow...inserting foot in mouth. not my "leader" though.LOL My third and final post. i feel like a IDIOT.-Julie

[BayGirl]

My final post:

You are not an idiot.

I am upgrading her system, found the site, could not post on my own (did not know her password)- so yeah, it's taken me awhile.
glad you found help- dad was a doctor, died of morphine overdose. know this subject well.

No crow eating on wednesdays.
lol, RJ

[mrmichael67]

Msblacey let the cat out of the bag anyway, but good work Koala for trying to keep gwh's confidentiality.  Msblacey, didn't you think that "she doesn't know about his drug problem", or whatever the exact words were was a little too much info?  What is wrong with you?  You agreed with Koala and let the cat out of the bag at the same time.  He has helped a lot of people here, he deserved better.

[mrmichael67]

I agree, let's not disclose any personal or confidential informaiton. lLe I said, this person may not even be aware of nay drug problem~

A CLASSIC!!!!

[konrado]

Good luck to you. I am on day 5 of a medical ambulatory detox. I just took off my clonodine patch. My bp was getting low. I am weak and tired and have to fight the tears. Boy a vicodin would be so easy now. Damn it would be a shame to waste all this time. I hope that some of this is just clonodine induced. My your higher power help you thru your day. I was taking 10-30 vicodins per day. I got started with 2 back surgeries in the last year. Good excuse for an addict. I could have milked it for a while longer but I'm not ready to die. The vicodin has tylenol (acetominophen) in it the toxic dose is I think 4000 mg. each vicodin has I think between 500 to 750 mg of the stuff in thats what will do you in as well as some stupid trick like shooting a loaded gun I thought was empty thru the floor and almost killing my wife. It seems that I spent $70,000 on my gun    collecting this past year. Yeah right!! What an ******* I have become. Excuse me but I need to vent.

[OxyDout]

can someone explain to me what just happened? not too sure as to why "baygirl" is so mad..........

[OxyDout]

Ive realized just now as I typed in "baygirl" that this has become too much of a chat room, and its no longer all that much helpful, thats not to say there aren't caring people here, you are all caring but its just not what I need.

"Baygirl" when I laugh or type "haha" that is to either skipper or Jessesarpy, its called having a conversation, telling a joke, sort of how you typed "LOL" anyway, gotta go but your post, I gotta tell you, it was the funniest thing I've read in years, its great to see that some people can get all riled up over an internet post........

[alexandra_r]

The one thing that I want to mention here regarding GWH's sister or anyone else who is posting because of using someone's computer is that a person would have to be a real idiot to not know what this site is about!!  So, what the hell are we talking about, "letting the cat out of the bag!!"  Obviously GWH"s sister knows GWH's "handle" and the name of the page is ADDICTION fer chrissake.  Read through the posts and you don't have to be the sharpest knife in the drawer to figure out what the hell is going on.  It is our own responsiblity to make sure that confidential information is not available to people who like to snoop.  

I thought the whole exchange with GWH's sister was really bizarre--don't even know why she posted.  But her asking, "WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!!!" made me think--now if this person needs the "FORUM" and "ADDICTION" spelled out, then there's some real problems there.

Sorry, but the whole thing was kind of Twilight-Zonish to me.

[koalabear]

Sorry, Alex.

I was just trying to protect him from any details being written about him.

Leah

[alexandra_r]

I don't think you did anything wrong whatsoever and I think it was sweet that you wanted to protect GWH.  I just didn't know why people gave the other person, "who let the cat out of the bag" so much **** for, when it is so obvious what this site is about.  

I think you're great--you are always supportive of everyone on the forum.

[mrmichael67]

No one said Koala did anything wrong.  She tried to protect him.  Go read the first post from GWH's sister and tell me she knew what this site is about.

[mrmichael67]

I take back the comment about Koala.  But, it was very obvious that his sister did not know what goes on here.  When I go here, I go to my favorites and click the link for here.  I am automatically logged in.  There is a cookie for this site.  Anyone could go on my computer and not know my handle and still log in here.  And, what is the sense with agreeing with Koala about keeping his confidentiality and then mentioning his drug problem?  Is it so hard to just not write anything at all?

[alexandra_r]

Please.  I was responding to what Koala wrote to ME.  This is only an anonymous forum if people set it up for themselves to be that way.  In my humble opinion, there is NO WAY that any _thinking_ person could possibly think that this forum is anything other than what it is.  I mean, come on!!!  It says ADDICTION right on the top of the page.  Plus, if she read any of GWH's posts, she would know what was up.  I just didn't feel that you needed to blast that person for "letting the cat out of the bag"  All of the posts (including GWH's) did that way before that person ever did.

[mrmichael67]

And, I did take that comment about Koala back, so why did you still have to say something about that?  If that is the kind of person you are, then I would imagine this isn't the kind of place for you.  And, Koala is a good friend of mine, so that is why I am defensive about her.  I was gone from here for a while, now I know why.

[mrmichael67]

I guess you didn't read his sister's first post.  And, his sister could have found out for herself by reading, not by someone telling her.  That post by msblacey was just like someone saying, "don't tell him your name, Joe".  She could have written nothing at all.  He has helped a lot of people here and deserved more respect than that.  And, I do know I am not the only one who feels this way.  Others might agree with you too, which is fine and dandy.  But, it leaves no question as to why so many people have decided not to come back here anymore.  I think it should be all dropped anyway.  I feel the way I do, you feel the way you do.  End of story.

[mrmichael67]

Some people do say some things here that are extremely questionable.  My stomach has nothing to do with whether I am happy or not.  In all honesty, you have no idea how I feel by just reading what I post.  I just post what is on my mind without it having any bearing on how I feel.  I doubt you have esp.

[mrmichael67]

It can, speaking for myself that is.  I won't speak for anyone else.  I still feel that if a non-member comes here looking for info on a fellow member, then that non-member should find out the info on their own.  No one should offer it up.  Simple respect, that's all.

[alexandra_r]

I don't know what your problem is here.  I am just making a simple observation that the name of the page says, "WELCOME TO THE ADDICTION FORUM."  You are also very defensive.  I didn't read your second post about Koala when I responded to you.  Why don't you take the chip off your shoulder and relax--it just ain't good for the old blood pressure!

[alexandra_r]

Actually, I want to apologize here.  I don't think this bickering back and forth is good for the forum.  I seem to have offended you in some way, but that wasn't my intention.  Honestly, I was more amused than anything by your comment of "letting the cat out of the bag."  I honestly thought you were kidding and at least one other person that posted also thought you were.  I did read GWH's sister's posts--and still thought that it was pretty clear what was going on here.

I don't know why you are so angry, but I know that you deal with a lot of pain--I know when my back is bad, I over-react to things.  Everything seems personal to me.  Please don't continue to take things the wrong way.  I have sent a couple up for you and wish you peace in your life.

[koalabear]

This has gone way too far, from what I can see.

We need to accept this as a learning experience and start moving on to bigger things, like helping other people.

It would be a shame to lose someone from this forum over something so petty.  We all learn from out mistakes.

Whether it was right or wrong to protect GWH's anonymity is not an issue ANYMORE.  He's back and that's all that matters now.

MsBlacey was new to the forum and probably didn't even realize what she typed.  We all have typed things before we've regretted.

I  shouldn't have said anything at all.  It was none of my business, and should've just shut my mouth and none of this would've happened.

Mike is one of the best friends I could've ever asked for, and I really don't like to see him blasted.  He's a HUGE asset to this forum, and I think we've lost him over this.

You are an asset, too, Alex.  You've helped me a lot, more  than  you realize.  Now you have huge shoes to fill if he leaves, hope you're up to it! :)

Let's just let bygones be bygones, and continue on this mission.

Take care,
Leah

[alexandra_r]

Leah,

Thank you for that.  You are so completely right.  What was it that Bogie said, "The problems of three small people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. . "  (don't know if that's entirely appropriate, but it came to my mind) =)

It has gone too far.  I am a big enough person to say, "I'm sorry--no harm intended."

I think Mr. Michael is an asset to this forum, also.  He has a lot of valuable information, along with everyone else who share.  

So, I'm all for moving on--Mr. Michael?

[mrmichael67]

There is plenty of peace in my life, but thank you anyway.  As far as the rest of your post, you shouldn't assume things as everyone is entitled to their opinion.  I think you overreacted, but will leave it at that and will spare everyone my take on it as it would only be a guess.  I am not leaving permanently, but I will be gone for awhile and will check in once and a while on a very rare basis.  This place is very hard on the stomach and I wish I had a dollar for every person that has told me the same thing.  I would be a billionaire!  If anyone needs to get in touch with me, e-mail me at ***@****.  Ciao!

[alexandra_r]

If you were truly at peace, then no post on a forum could upset your stomach.   But whatever, I tried to be gracious and that's all I can do.  I do wish you peace--I feel you need it badly.

[percsnomas]

Please, you are both sooooo important to many people here.
We need you both, so I hope "it" can just be dropped!!

[alexandra_r]

I don't wish to keep this up with you--it is disturbing.  I tried to apologize--but you obviously aren't willing to call a truce.  You seem to take some kind of pleasure in drawing things out to where they are painful for you and I don't want to have any part of this.