Good Morning to you all....

[MMT-Md]

Hello everyone I hope you had a nice weekend and I want to congradulate BMAC,TUSS and KELL for there clean time and any of you that I haven't seen post there clean time great job, keep up the fight and stay honest with yourself. IF you folks don't mind I sure would like to know how long you all been clean. Of course if thats personal to you, then I respect that.

                           GREAT JOB!!!! Dr.MIke....

[percsnomas]

Aug. 7/02 decided to quit.
Tapered from 60-90mg/day Oxycodone to Zero in 12 days.
Useage approx. 3 years (L5-S1 Disc Herniation; two surgeries, and 3 MRI'S)
CLEAN AND LOVING IT (Entering my 4th week)

[bmac]

bamc here,actually it's Bill.I have been clean for 20 days.
On wellbutrin and that's it.Thanks for coming here.We need the
professional help.
                           bmac

[bmac]

I have had the L4/5 and S1 anterior and posterior fusion.
They went thru the front and back.It was a ruff surgery
but my fused back will still be in the grave when they dig me up.Solid as a rock.Looks good on xray too.I was lucky,they
didn't use any pins or wires.Only bone from my hips.
Stay clean.
                                     bmac

[Chuck99]

I have been sober for 16 days ( I did smoke a bowl or two though :)

[percsnomas]

Wow, you make my 2.5 cm microdiscetomy/laminectomy feel like a mosquito bite.
REGARDLESS, STAY STRONG  BROTHER...
Naprosyn has been a life saver.

[alexandra_r]

Hi Dr. Mike--

Well, it depends on what is considered "clean."  I believe that if you take medication because of legitimate pain then it doesn't interfere with your clean time.  I was addicted to heroin, methadone and cocaine over ten years ago for approximately 6 years.  I had not done any drugs (other than marijuana--which has never been a problem for me) until I injured my back about 17 months ago.  Then, I began taking vicodin--only as prescribed--did none of the crazy things that I did when I was using hard, street drugs.  I decided I wanted to go off the vicodin about 2 months ago and tapered down slowly.  I have been off the vicodin since around August 1 (so about 5 weeks).  I did take vicodin after moving weekend before last--took it for a couple of days while I was in intense pain, but haven't taken any since.  

For me, being clean means having relationships that work (with my husband, my friends, my family), being honest with myself, being able to show up for what I'm supposed to do.  My life is great right now--I have a great marriage, a good job that I really like, things are going really smoothly.  So, I'd say I've been "clean" for over ten years--I don't really count the legitimate use of vicodin as "using."

[bmac]

That was beautiful.It is all a matter of will.You hit it on the head.I'm sure Dr.Mike will agree.You are clean.You are the only one that really know you.Great post,thanks.20 days clean
                               bmac

[percsnomas]

Just a quickie..THANK YOU
I've read all your posts....and sooooooooooo many are so positive; that I just wanted to thank you.
You are a phenomal inspiration(and take care of your back)

[percsnomas]

...that would be 'phenominal'

[Kritty]

hi

I need some help!!! I relapsed two weeks ago and since then I have taken pills every 2 or 3 days. Today is Day 3 clean and I am so upset with myself. I went to detox in July and feel as if it went to waste. What do I do? My step-mother has pills and it is very hard for me to be there without taking any. How does relapse happen? Anything could happen to make an excuse...it sucks. I need to get back on track...please help!

-T

[elyse]

I've got 18 days off benzos. It's not easy I think about them alot. I'm glad I found this site.it really helps to know I'm not the only one. I don't get much time for meetings. so this is my meeting today. Thanks

[winter68]

I have been clean from herion for 2 1/2 years, from a 5 year addiction and have tapered down to 10mgs from 120mgs of methadone. so I don't consider myself clean yet, but next week I should be. I can't wait. Does anyone know if msm helps with w/d's? for some reason I can't post a question on this board.

[tex3]

Hi everyone. Seems like there's many new people here, and welcome to all of you. I haven't posted much lately as I've been really busy with a class I'm taking and trying to do some freelance work. For those of you I don't know, I've been on here for the past five months, since I got clean (April 1). I need a little support today, or maybe just to vent.

I've had a nagging tooth ache (if it's not one thing it's another, huh?) and finally got bad enough that I went to the dentist on Friday, who said I need a root canal - ouch, never had one, but not looking forward to it. He gave me antibiotics and a small amount of pain pills. I gave the pills to my husband to hold. He's given me one a day, no more. The antibiotics are working enough that I don't think I need them anymore. I'm scheduled for the procedure on Friday, if I can scrounge the money up. Anyway my problem is just knowing the pills are around totally preoccupies me. I searched for them, the whole bit. So I called him today and said when he gets home I want to just flush them. I'm fine if I know there's nothing around and I can't get any. But take one, and know there's more around, and the cravings kill me. I think about them, get depressed, all that old **** comes back. I actually did some research on this and discovered very interesting facts about changes in the brain that cause this to happen in addicts. Which is all great, but doesn't help me too much to deal with the cravings! Anyway I think I'll be fine when he gets home and we flush them. I actually flushed two right when I got them, just to show that I could do it. Stupid, huh?
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better already, talking about it. When I'm not here, there's no one in my life who has any firsthand experience with this (who's been through it themselves) so I start to drift.
Anyone else find themselves preoccupied with pills when you know they're around? It sucks! On top of the damn tooth pain, which at this point I'd rather deal with and am pretty much okay with.
Thanks,
Tracy

[JSmith02]

I just had a root canal. The way they do them now, they're not so bad. I've had fillings that hurt worse. A little Advil and you can make it past the first day. After that, you won't know you had one.

Thomas

[tex3]

Thanks. I'm okay with the pain, really, it's more the preoccupation with the pills, which is why I'm going to flush them when my husband gets home (he hid them). I know it sounds weird, but I plug along pretty much fine when I know they're not around. But given access or just knowing if I bug him enough I could get them, and it's all I think about. Just venting. Thanks Thomas!

[Tuss-ex]

Dr. Mike I have been clean now for 5 days.  This is uncharted territory for me, but thanks to the people here staying clean seems possible.  I had a 3+ year addiction my drug of choice was tussonex, but in the end I would take anything with hydrocodone mostly to avoid w/d.

Kritty,
Please don't beat yourself up over a relapse, God knows I have had many.  In fact, I don't think it is possible for most the first few times... Desire to quit is what is important, I fear relapsing all the time (like every minute) just keep trying you are stronger than you can believe.  The more people you can confide in the better...I will pray for you and hope that you are okay.  

God Bless

[percsnomas]

Sounds like you have the answer already, just that ever powerful mind wanted to "test" you again.  Well, don't let it.
Get rid of them(I also have an upcoming date with the dentist; and plan on using Motrin)
I've thanked you before for your words of wisdom, so I wish I had enough time to read them back to you....I think you'd be surprised how much you've helped others.

[alexandra_r]

Tracy, I'm sorry to hear about your tooth problems.  I can definitely relate to this because I have about 20,000 worth of dental work in my mouth (and that is absolutely no exaggeration).  You know, all those years on heroin didn't really take their toll on me physically--my health is pretty good except for my back, and I even LOOK okay, but where I see the damage is in my teeth.  I have had a lot of painful procedures, including root canals.  It is highly individual how painful these are--it depends on your own individual pain threshold, your dentist's procedures, and how deep the root is or if it is rooted at an angle.  I took percoset or vicodin for all the major work I had done and I never got addicted to the pain medication.  I'm sure this is partly due to the fact that dentists (most) don't give a lot of pills out at one time.  However, it was also my attitude--when the pain stopped, I stopped taking them.  I don't think you should have a problem.  I also don't think you should have to be in pain just because you have had addiction problems in the past.  If you are in pain, take something--you are smart to give them to your hubby if you don't trust yourself.  

One thing that I always want to stress to people who are in recovery.  Just because you are an addict/addictive personality doesn't mean that you must suffer through pain.  I am a baby when it comes to pain--and I have suffered a lot in my life and don't want to suffer now.

Good luck--good to see you post.  And GOOD luck with the dental procedure.  You should get it done if at all possible--my experience is that these things get a lot worse if you don't care of them right away.  

For future reference--I had my last dental procedure about 3 years ago.  I have had to have my bone scraped, my gums cut, and every other hell you can think of.  Plus, I had to do a lot of work to repair what quack dentists had done to me previously.  At the recommendation of the best dentists I have ever been to, I got a sonic care toothbrush.  Since I invested that 80.00, I have had NO problems with my teeth or gums and cleanings take about 15 minutes.  I swear by these beauties.

[Natasha1]

Hello everyone and thank you MMT Md as well as everyone else.

It's odd for me. I used to have a VERY HIGH pain tolerance until I started on the vicoden. Now everything hurts just a little more. You know, just a little more gives me a reason to take a little more.

I had my tongue and belly done and several holes in my ears and nose and took nothing. Raced mountain bikes (started that at 35 and will be 40 on Christmas) and had great stories of how brave I was to walk up covered in blood after a race and NOT TAKE ANYTHING except a metal home a couple of times (hey, Ol'lady class chasing those young gazzels who call them selfs just bike riders). Those were the days when 600mg ibu would make me sleepy and a demerol shot for a migrain would stay with me for 3 days. Now I cant get by with the pain of a hangnail. ALL MENTAL for me.

I fell off my taper again and I will be short for my next refill. I still have a bunch of things to choose from in the med cabinet that will help and my mom kicked some trazadone and may still kick more vics. Don't know about that. I alsmost feel that it's a good thing that I will not make it to the next refill. I need to feel the W/D's in all of their glory to get a true picture. All I have had is minor sweats, leg jumpers and a bit moody as I was reducing down. Nothing really major. Told my hubby I was off on my estrogen patches (hytorectomy years ago). He calls them my "Nice patches".:-)

I'm afraid of the back pain and the fibromyalgia pain that will come with a vengence. They both get me every day no matter what or how much I take or do. I have requested to go to a pain management clinic and I hope the doc will say OK. I understand they really monitor any meds they give you and work with you by helping you exercise, do yoga, relaxation stuff and accupuncture. We will see. Has anyone any insite on that?

I read all the posts when the hubby is not here and if you read what I have posted before you will know why. You people are wonderful. I wish I could be half as brave as any of you. This is so hard and so many of you have taken your life back in a matter of 3 days. That's incrediable! I'm so proud of all of you. I know I will too with all of you behind me.

[kell737]

Hi there.  Thanks for coming.  I've been clean 33 days from percocet. (usage: 8 years, 50-70 mg a day)  I quit cold turkey.   Whole different world without popping a pill everyday!

~Kell

[kell737]

Thats not strange!  Thats why I had to quit cold turkey.  If I knew I had them or access to them I would never have quit.  I think that part is more mental than physical but regardless it happens.    Good luck and stay clean.  Hope your tooth feels better soon.

~Kell

[tex3]

Thanks Alexandra, percs, and everyone else. Just an update - the antibiotics are kicking in and I thought I'd be okay with Advil, so today I flushed the last five pills down the toilet. Didn't even hesitate! I knew I'd be better off knowing they were gone completely, so I couldn'd obsess or anything else. Was strange, but just coming here and admitting that I was craving them made it lose its hold on me. Thanks everyone! I'm not so worried about the pain, it's not that bad now that the infection is gone, nothing I can't handle. Alex, percs, how are y'all doing? Hope everyone is well.
Tracy

[hellbent]

Clean 4mos. tomorrow. 800mgs a day Oxycontin (4-5 years of using oxycodone), 15-20mgs a day Klonopin. For what it's worth, since you are a doc, I did have health insurance with a detox clause, but since my medical group within my HMO had no detox facillities in their area, they gave me no options, no rehab, no nothing. Spent 2 days on the phone to no avail. My PCP was worse. He basically hung up the phone after saying he would approve no inpatient or outpatient programs whatsoever. I was left to kick both addictions at home. Did do a 21 day done' detox, but the Klonopin w/d was the worst anyway...

It sounds unbelieveable when I talk about how I was left out in the cold by my medical, but that is exactly the way it happened.

[percsnomas]

Way to go Tracy! I'm really pulling for you.

Thanks for asking, I'm doing very well!
You know what a progressive disease this is; hitting us from every angle...severe pain (physical) some days, life's tragedies the next(had 5 very close deaths since Jan.16, incl my best friend/Mom)........ just got tired of saying to myself "I'll wean off the next script"
This is the first time I've put a plan of action into effect, and I couldn't be happier.

Simply read everything I could, pulled all the great advice/suggestions(what a testiment to resourcefulness, the people on this forum represent), and continue to go at it with a tremendous respect(and fear) One Day At A Time.

Continued Strenth to you my friend!

[tex3]

I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through but glad you're doing so well. How far are you? I feel really good today, took my multi-vit/l-tyr combo and it always give me a nice energy buzz. Did you read the stuff I posted about the brain and addiction? It's really interesting and I think you'll find it enlightening. Glad to hear you're hanging in there; stay tough!
tracy

[bmac]

Hey I read the post and man it was exactly what my shrink told me last week.It's like I am a stroke victim.I have to let another
part of my brain learn the things that the drug damaged part use to do.I changed the chemical path not only the chemicals.
My doc friend told me where to go read about Addiction Medicine.
I'm going to find it today.I read every word you typed and if you did type all this,man your'e a good typer,
                          thanks ,it helped me alot.
                                    peace,
                                bmac

[percsnomas]

I'm in my 4th week clean(plus the 12 day taper...probably too fast cause I W/D pretty harsh throughout..didn't care, I wanted off)

As a matter of fact I printed your post(all 15 pages), and read every word.  
Thanks Again, and have a great day!!!!