Guilt After Drugs?

[gizzy32]

There are so many posts and comments here about guilt after quitting drugs. I remember that feeling and how bad it made me feel about myself, guilt is one of the worst emotions I think. It took awhile for me to make ammends and get back the trust from those close to me, but I understand because I lied about my drug use when I was on coke and other ****, but time has healed what I did and I like myself again off dope. My question is, did you have a lot of guilt after quitting and reality set in and how did you work through it or are you still covered in guilt?

[stilltrying1965]

AV BEE OF H FOR 200 PLUS DAYS BUT STILL CARRY A LOT OF GUILT WE HAVE SPOKE ABOUT THIS AND THE EMOTIANAL STUFF A HATE AS WELL BUT THEY SAY TIME IS A GREAT HEALER A SURE HOPE SO BUD JAMES

[gnarly_1]

hey dude....man your posts are always so spot on   at least for me....guilt...uggg
well for me guilt has been one of the worst parts of this whole mess...I mean 16 1/2yr
of active narcotic addiction ...he11 I gave up the booze and the recreational stuff 4 yrs ago and no second thoughts but its different with this stuff...its like I have watched my whole life play out in a narcotic fog ..when it was the pills it was really bad ate them by the handful and would be gases up for hours on end with the methadone it was more of a peaceful fog...that you don't even realize your under until you off it..then theres the guilt of razing kids under the influence...I still did a ton of stuff with my kids but I just
wish and wounder how much better of a dad I coulda been..then theres my faithful
wife who kicked everthing at 23  only to stand by and watch me ..how much better of a husband could I have been...GUILT...IT SU##S but im working it out with a drug conslor weekly im doing what I have to do now to make amens and now im looking forward to a brighter future narcotic free...my kids all say im a good dad...my wife has stood by me for 30yr and today where more in love then ever b/4 we have been thew the ringer and are still standing god buy our side..so now that I have to look at life thew clear eyes..take on life's challenges without narcotics...life can be a bit scary
the new hyper/active mind is taking some getting use to but in the end...IT IS SO SO WORTH IT...thanks for all your input gizzy  you always strike a note with me...Gnarly    

[desperatetostop]

I dont' see  you as a loner loser...I see you as getting to know who YOU are. I did the very same thing when I first divorced my ex husband. I spent alot of time alone...dating myself, if you will. ;)

it was good. very good. I am now in the healthiest relationship I have ever had in my life...I can appreciate the good in this...I know my own needs and wants now...I know that when I need some alone time...I say so.


Congrats for being clean!


as for guilt and my recovery...I felt way guiltier while using than I do now! I have nothing to feel guilty about anymore. I'm not sneaking pills, I'm not lying or hiding anything from anyone. Its great!

[kmb22]

the last 1 1/2 weeks sorry...

[kmb22]

since i have quit i have not felt feelings of guilt.  my drug use never personally affected anyone...it never got that far, although that is where it was headed.  i don't have children, so really i only have myself to take care of, so it was myself i was so greatly affecting.  i am upset i abused my body as i did, but i feel better every single day.

what i can say i feel or i guess i could say i don't feel are many strong emotions towards men, as of lately.  or women for that matter, but i'm not a lesbian so not feeling towards men is much more disconcerting.  i broke up with my boyfriend of a year about a week ago and the only feeling i have felt is extreme relief.  

i like being alone so much more now.

i used to snowboard with a large group of people, now i would rather just put on my head phones and go alone.  i don't feel like having to talk to anyone or deal with conversation.  i just want to be in my own peaceful world.

there are negative and positives to feeling like this.

one of the guys i worked with asked me out, and he is cute and nice and funny, but i just have no desire to let another man down by not really caring enough.  

and i also hate once you start dating someone you have to give a certain % of your time to them, i don't want to do that anymore.

and i don't even feel lonely but i am very much alone.

i guess the pills made me social butterfly.  i guess the real me is just a big giant loner loser.  

that's kind of how i have been feeling the last 1 1/2.

[catmagnet]

I feel sick every time I think about what I have done to myself and my family & friends. I'm still dealing with the physical and mental aftermath. Nothing could have prepared me for this...NOTHING. But I know I need to keep moving forward.

[narla]

I still feel a lot of guilt over the money I spent on my addictions over $600 a month,my husband had no idea I told him for the first time on Dec 26th,the look of shock on his face said it all.I did all the budgeting and paid all the bills,so I could manipulate the money to make sure I got my DOCs.with the money we're saving now we just bought a new fridge,freezer,washing machine and air conditioner.All the things we had for 20 yrs that weren't working properly.  Denise

[BornofOsiris]

This was a huge problem for me. My first time getting clean I couldnt even look at myself in the mirror for about a month cause I hated myself so much. It took a serious loooooooooong talk from my mom for me to understand that there was nothing I could of done about it, I had already made the mistake and Im only human. I learned to move on and try to make the future better with every action, do activities that make you feel good about yourself (working out, helping others etc.) Lets not dwell on the past, just try to make the future right, its all we have. Much love

Dallas

[avisg]

no never does any good feeling guilty about something you can not change .life is what it is .As long as you learn something from it that postive you are one step ahead .Life is to short to regert what you can not change you can only move  forward from it

[dominosarah]

bump