HE WANTS A DIVORCE!?!?

PLEASE HELP ME!!!  My husband is two weeks into a 4 week program.  The kids and I visited him last Sunday.  Love, hugs, encouragement, etc.  Then, two days ago, out of the blue, he WANTS A DIVORCE!  He is my LIFE!  I have been through hell to stay with him, love him, and support him, and now he is throwing us away!  just like that!

What can I possibly do???!!!  He says he still loves me, but wants to split!?

[atthebeach]

hi and welcome. i am the wife of a recovering addict. he has been clean for 17 months. there is hope. yes right now his emotions are coming to the surface after being buried deep in his heart,soul,mind and emotions.once they feel again they actually become ashamed,embarrassed , they feel terrible about themselves and dont know how to handle the onslaught of emotions. first of all what can he do about divorce inside a rehab nothing. i know i lived with my husband and his addiction and all that entailed for many years,it is horrible, i have 4 children. i stayed,supported,encouraged,prayed,hoped,believed and then when he comes home after rehab and i am still sad, not trusting him, so hurt for all the wasted years and lied,deceit,emotional scars on my chlldren and i he also said well them lets get divorced. i was shocked as you are. what????? reallly???? you want a divorce why because i am still sad many days and everything isnt 100% with our marriage and our family well it hasnt been for 14 years. so if it took 14 yrs for you to stop maybe it will take me 14 yrs to get over it. well no that isnt the case. by the grace and mercy of our LORD and SAVIOR we are healing day by day.
if he loves you ask him why would he want to divorce. you can both heal together.
sending hugs and prayers,keep up posted
debbie
have you been to any counseling for yourself?

[rich4dallas]

first of all Im sorry to hear your hurt..
The only thing I could tell you is that hes going through alot of changes at the moment..
his whole body, mind soul, spirit are all going through alot of changes..
all 5 sense are  returning slowly for him..hes probably an emotional wreck w the emotions getting to him..hes probably trying to find and learn himself again...
you might just have to let him go through whatever changes hes going through...
good luck.. it sounds u were a good wife and now this.. stinks.. sorry..
hang in there.. in the end it will all workout for the best..

[LeaAnn807]

I would not get too upset just yet.  I know that's easy for me to say, but addicts go through an array of emotions and difficulty figuring them out during early recovery.  

Hang in there.  Just give him a little space and try not to freak out yet! : )  Sorry!

[Ashelen]

You may want to contact the therapist working with him during his recovery. I know that they tell you not to make any huge life changes or decisions during your  beginning recovery phase....so I would say that this is something they'll address with him if they know about it.

[atthebeach]

hi and welcome. i am the wife of a recovering addict. he has been clean for 17 months. there is hope. yes right now his emotions are coming to the surface after being buried deep in his heart,soul,mind and emotions.once they feel again they actually become ashamed,embarrassed , they feel terrible about themselves and dont know how to handle the onslaught of emotions. first of all what can he do about divorce inside a rehab nothing. i know i lived with my husband and his addiction and all that entailed for many years,it is horrible, i have 4 children. i stayed,supported,encouraged,prayed,hoped,believed and then when he comes home after rehab and i am still sad, not trusting him, so hurt for all the wasted years and lied,deceit,emotional scars on my chlldren and i he also said well them lets get divorced. i was shocked as you are. what????? reallly???? you want a divorce why because i am still sad many days and everything isnt 100% with our marriage and our family well it hasnt been for 14 years. so if it took 14 yrs for you to stop maybe it will take me 14 yrs to get over it. well no that isnt the case. by the grace and mercy of our LORD and SAVIOR we are healing day by day.
if he loves you ask him why would he want to divorce. you can both heal together.
sending hugs and prayers,keep up posted
debbie
have you been to any counseling for yourself?

[dominosarah]

The above posters have given you good advice.  Get ahold of his therapist and find out what is going on.  He is on an emotional roller coaster right now which is normal.  Have you given any thought to Alanon?  You as the family member have taken the brunt of his addiction.  Time to take care of you also........sara