HELP.

Day 15 here.

(Vicodin. 10-12/day, 10 years)

I'm feeling much better. My problems are still at night, not sleeping. Leg pain etc.
But, certainly getting better.

Here is the problem:

I still have over 100 vicodin at home and I can't seem to force myself to flush them.
I just feel like I should keep a supply for any future emergencies.

But, I keep seeing posts from people who are relaspsing after a few weeks or a month.

I just cannot figure out what to do here.

[cathy5841]

oh my dear, you have to get rid of those pills.  flush, flush, flush.  it is not good to have them there in a weak moment.  i promise the smartest thing you can do is get rid of them.  congrats on your 15 days clean.  that is really great.

now flush those pills.

[Sarah231]

Hey Kathy,

I found one in my purse yesterday and tossed it out the car window!

And, I KNOW I should flush the rest of them, I've known for 15 days now!
Why does it seem I can't take that last step???

Every day I think I'll take care of it tomorrow.....


(tomorrow still hasn't come)

[Jacqui805]

Do you have anyone around you that knows what you're going through?  Perhaps it would be easier to have assistance with the flushing?  If not, I agree with Cathy that you've just got to get rid of them.  Having that temptation around would be pretty tough I'd think.  Congratulations on your 15 days!  : )

[Firefaery1023]

It is tough to do because we think that eventually we can go back without abusing.  We can't!!  I reccomend if you can't flush them, give it to someone you can trust to hold onto them until you are ready to, or you absolutely need one.  Let the person know you are an addict though and you can't have them back nor can you be asking for them everyday.
Congrats and good luck!

[Clamity2]

How do you reason with yourself not to flush?  I know for certain, because I am absolutly an addict. Addicted to Vicodin for 8 years 6 everyday near the end I would eat them if I didn't flush them.
I pray to God you recieve the willingness and strength to throw them away. You are strong to make it 15 days!!  You can do it!!
God Bless
JG

[Sarah231]

No, I haven't told anyone.
Just said I had the "flu".

I'm still amazed that someone could live in the same house, sleep in the same bed and NOT KNOW.

Crazy, huh?

I am tempted to spill it to someone. My sister, my boyfriend...I don't know.
I think I just want someone to be proud of me.......
But, they'd probably just be horrified that I even had a problem.

[sickcookie]

Please get rid of the pills they are sitting there and your addiction knows ,they will quietly be calling to you ,then louder and louder.Your strong today but who knows about tomarrow?Your doing great

[Firefaery1023]

You would be suprised how people might react.  I finally told my best friend, she had a feeling but never said anything to me.  She was proud that I have gotten my life back together because she knew how proud I was of myself.  She was not judgemental in anyway.  I told my entrie family and they already knew, and I thought I was pretty sneaky!  They were all proud and I even got flowers from my brother and his fiancee!

[cathy5841]

funny you should say tomorrow never comes.  my dad is a preacher and he has sermon titled tomorrow never comes.  how true it is.  i promise if you will flush them it will give you so much power of the addiction.  what better way to tell the addiction "you have lost".  i speaks and awesome statement words never could.

i am just gonna pray you get the strengthe to do it.  but when you do you gotta do the i flushed med help jig.
come on now flush.
cathy

[kimmieb]

oh, you have come so far....15 days already!....and this forum is ALL proud of you....don't look back....get rid of those things....i know what you mean about wanting to keep them "just in case" for the future, "in an emergency".....but that's a mental game....and if you can beat it....wow, you're there!....really, you are doing sooooooooooo well.....such an inspiration....get rid of those last ones somehow....

CONGRATS on your success!!! :-)

[Sarah231]

You guys are just the best!

I would NEVER ever had made it this far without this forum.

I remember one night, about the 4th night of c/t, I was soooooooo
sick and trying to read here. I wanted to post, but honest to goodness I couldn't even post....it was that bad.

[LONESOME]

About telling someone trust me in a few days you will tell someone I give you the most a week to tell we all do after we are clean for an amount of time, now the pills hun just let them go throw them away flush take to the pharmacy to properly get of them, but the main thing is tho just LET THEM GO is the last thing that is holding you (that is the reason you haven't said anything to anyone) lol just say byeeeeeeeeee you will feel so much better after I gave my husband like 300 lortabs after my 3dr day and it felt so good.
By the way really good job on the 15 DAYS GIRL!

[paul300]

I have a few remaining in my bottle, my wife has many, but she doesn't have the same problem I have. I'm on day two, forcing myself from grabbing the bottle, but I keep remembering how hard its been to get this far. Soon as my physical symptoms reside, I plan to pass over to my wife, and she knows my situation. If I were alone, I would flush them away, but first I need to proof to myself I can handle the physical withdrawals. Right now, I feel like s#$t, but the small good feelings are slowing returning, they are short--but sweet. My mind is working better, until the bad rush drives by, but overall I am slooooowly feeling better each day. Before weaning, then stopping, I was taking several pills a day. Tough call, but if in doubt, flush away.

I can't wait for day 15. Awesome job.

[AprilWind]

Get rid of those daXX pills right now!  What are you holding onto?  You have come so far but if you still keep those pills around ~ it's like saying.....naw, not really -  I'll be back.
Be true to yourself.  I know you want to be clean otherwise you wouldn't have come so far!  I am on day 10 and yesterday I gave all my pills to my hubby.  The best thing to do is take them all to the pharmacy since throwing in the toilet will send the pills straight to our oceans and undersea creatures.  But please take a moment to think it though and take the step to get rid of what's holding you back to be free.  I am speaking from experience hun ~ I hope you do it.  Sending prayers & hugs

[mtswife]

Flush them. How brave of you to be clean for 15 days! Congratulations! You had them in your house the entire time of your detox?? You may be one of the strongest people I have ever known. Wow, all that pain(I've detoxed twice and am now tapering, last time i know it) and you didnt succumb to their call. Well then, they obviously don't have any power over you so just flush those things. You're on day 15, I think If I ever made it that far(I made it 7 the first time and 9 the next) I might have had a better chance not to let them back into my life. Do it, get the out of your life, you don't need them anymore. God Bless you and your bravery.

[mtswife]

ok, that was a year and a half ago..... geez.... anyone know if she flushed them. guess I should start reading dates before I go on with posts. hehe