I came back to town for a weekend that is a canoe race and everyone comes back to town. I am off of suboxone for the second day. You don't realize how bad my town is with OC. It's everywhere. I have 4 weeks 5 days. I want to use so bad. So bad. I invited my friend back from school who is going through H withdrawals. He didn't come back with me. I wish he did. He'd support me through. I feel like I'm about to cry and I am so emotional and I just feel like I want to use so bad. I haven't eaten all day so a 40 would hit me real nice and that's all I keep thinking. My buddy is insisting we get some.
That "buddy" thats insisting, isn't your buddy. Are you willing to throw 4 weeks and 5 days down the tubes? Start all over? Whats triggering you now? Are you around alot of people useing? If so, you need to get the hell away from them, you know that. Don't give in. Pull out some strength.
This sounds harsh but nicely ditch your buddy and miss the event if that's what it takes to keep yourself from using. Exciting events, holidays and such can be big triggers. Try to hang in there...you don't want to lose all of that time and go through wd again.
Being in my town triggers me wanting drugs. I have no suboxone. I am only on day 2 with no suboxone. My buddy from school that I wanted to come and didn't...I don't understand why he wouldn't come. He would have made the difference, wouldn't have let me do this.
Hang on...it would be such a waste of precious energy and suboxone for you to cave now...do you have anyone to hang with there who can support you? find someone safe or stay on here...it will pass but u have to avoid the people who trigger you to use right now
Everywhere I look everyone is telling me, no no it's fine. There is no hope for the future. Kids like me weren't supposed to make it into college. Hell, I shouldn't be alive right now. Man. My mind is all screwy right now. I'm going crazy here.
Everyone here is addicted to the same stuff I am. Everyone. I tell you everyone, and I mean everyone. Everyone except my girlfriend. And she's out.
Everone here has been addicted and has had cravings and wanted to use again and we are saying RUN..I think you've already made your decision whether you consciously know it or not. Try running just this 1 time in your life and see what it feels like. Get controland just walk out.
mcray, Please fight this with all you got and I,m gonna check my messages first thing in the morning and hoping I will see that you were successful. You know the right thing and believe me I know it's hard to do. It's about your life back Your only 18 man. Have any of your friends died or OD yet. I'm glad your gf is coming. I hope you leave with her and no pills. God bless and give you strength, Corey
My son almost died from heroin. He's been clean 3 years now. He started on Oxy. Several of the guys he used with Od and 1 shot himself in the head in his parents basement. Most others are in jail now. Just wanted to make sure you know where it leads. Someone like you CAN make it through college and can have a successful life. You will grow with that feeling as you recover. Your addiction is telling you nothing will work out cause it wants you to use.
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