HERES MY STORY

Ive been here before about 2 months ago and here I am again I have always been in good shape and just recently about two years ago ive become an addict. Ive had knee surgery three times on my right knee and two times on my left. Ive been told by doctors that I am way to young for a knee relacement and the only way i can sometimes get through the day and let alone walk is with the help of painkillers. I went up the hydro ladder first 5 then 7.5 and then 10.Now I found myself counting pills making sure I have some extras for certain social situations so i feel good or high my life has become consumed by these nasty pills. I have a great medical plan at work so buying or even getting the pills is not a problem. I guess what i am am saying what is the choice for me be in constant pain or be an addict. I feel dirty i never thought ive myself to be in this kind of a situation.I just dont know what my choices are.

[oxyaddict420]

Tough one man.. Others might say that there are alternatives other than pain killers, yet I havent found any..

You might have to make the choice to be in pain and not take pills, if that is what you really want..

BEST OF LUCK MAN

[1234betterlife]

this is the story of pain and addiction. when you find yourself counting pills and taking them out of context of what they are prescribed for you have identified the first problem. unfortunately the pain will increase as the opoids no longer work for you. you have to make the decision whether to continue on this neverending cycle of pain and pill counting. there will never be enough pills to control the pain. you have to admit the problem, which you have done. then begin the search for alternative solutions and a plan to stop the control the pills have on your life. it is difficult to admit and difficult to do but it is totally and completely within you to take control of your life and your pain. you have made the first step, congragulations and welcome. i would begin by being upfront with your physician about the lack of pain control and the concern you have for your addiction.

[matt0604]

think your absolutley right i think there are several other things that play into affect here also. I played football all through college, baseball and wrestling through high school. Even after college still was very atheletic. Now a doctor says matt you can no longer run and do the things you used to do. so that pill became my new hobby. it in a way it was a release. it was the easy way out and i succombed to it.

[Junkie]

Seven years ago I got clean and sober. But due to sports injuries, I was taking pain killers. They reminded my body and brain so much of Heroin, that it wasn't hard to get hooked. Cronic (chronic) pain can tear your life apart.

I know exactly how you feel. The doctor told me I could no longer play hockey. I had been in hockey since the age of 3. And at 26 being told you can't play anymore, not even skate for longer than a few minutes without feeling pain in your knees, was like someone punching me in the gut. What the hell do you do with that?

I am not an arts and crafts sort of chick. I love sports, fishing, hunting....but I can't even go hunt anymore. At least I can sit there and fish.  : )

I think my Zoloft really has helped with the depressive feelings I get due to not being able to play anymore. But it's the pain and drugs that just add to the bad feelings.

I have tapered down from 25 pills a day, to 20, and I will keep on doing it until I am off. I have done this before, but this time I have to stay clean. I have gotten to a point where my body is starting to tell me that this is it. I quit now, or I die way to young.

I also have an angel to live for.

My 11 year old son just made Hockey captain of his team. And I want to be there when he makes the pro's.  : )

[matt0604]

I think i am going to buy my kid a guitar.

[Junkie]

Ha ha! I bought my kid a guitar. Now I regret it. Oh the headaches!

[johnnykelly]

Hi Matt,I understang your position and reason. The pain meds are for legitamate pain also you get the psychological lift,that the part of the puzzle we must figure out.The pain clinics that are located in major hospitals are understanding our positions and no longer due we have to lie and only say we take the meds for the pain.I would see if we can get that lift from a point of non-dependance.I am in the same boat as you,many are.goodluck john

[wait2long]

due some research on suboxone...it is used to treat opiate addiction but can also be used for pain...just a suggestion i thought i would throw out there, i have information in my profile about suboxone and subutex...good luck to you all...