Hallucinations & Getting clean

During my last few cocaine binges, I started really terrible hallucinations.  I saw crawling lizards on my ceiling, dancing skeletons on the walls, ghosts, evil faces, snakes... Also felt like things were crawling on me, and could here weird sounds like buzzing and things.  I was completely aware that I was hallucinating, but it freaked me out so much that my heartrache skyrocketed and I started sweating and getting a rash.  I thought I was going to die, I thought my addiction had finally done me in and I had to just get through the night.  Well I did and now I'm committed to staying clean.

I had a similar type of experience on ecstasy, more with psychadelic visuals, but also dragons, demons, spooky things, I also thought I was going crazy and was going to die (pains in my chest, my back)  I had taken about 7 - 10 tabs of e (also had done coke earlier and drinks) so I think I am pretty lucky I got through this.  After this, I could not move for several days because my spine was so messed up.

Also, I get very little sleep when doing drugs so my body and mind just could be going crazy.  I am fairly certain its a combination of everything.

Even today (2 days later and clean) I can still subtly see the hallucinations and hear weird beeping... and can't sleep.

I have relapsed before but this time I am COMMITTED to a clean and healthy life.  The past 6 months has been nothing but terrible memories, self-induced, unfortunately :(

I have gotten to 1 - 2 days before, and even a week (I was out of the country) without drugs.  My problem is that when I get depressed I just start going crazy and want anything to stop the pain.

My questions are: did i experience cocaine psychosis or hallucinosis? (sp) when will these hallucinations go away?how long does it take to get through the depressed stage?  how long does it take to feel normal again? Is there anything I can do?  Besides, NA, I am going to load up on vitamins and try and get more rest.  I need to be focused on these and keep at it each hour, each day.

Thanks everyone

Violet

[Greatgreebo]

don't sweat the small stuff...you will feel normal again. Remember, you didn't mess yourself up overnight so It's going to take more than a couple of days to get backt to your old self. Eat health, stay away from caffeine and sugary drinks. No soda. Get yourself some vitamins. A good daily multivitamin and probably some B vitamins (B6 and B12) Zinc is another important one to get in you if you've been partying for a while. To help yourself out further get some Marine Fish Oil tablets. You know, Omega 3 and stuff. The two components you are looking for in Omega 3 are the fatty acids EPA (Eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (Docosahexaenoic acid). These are the important ones. Also, to help your brain chemistry get yourself some GABA (Gamma Aminobutyric Acid). It's completely natural and your brain makes it and uses it to get itself running smoother. It's known to have a calming effect. Nothing on this list is wonky or dangerous.
You're body chemistry is all out of whack. Give yourself some time to heal. Get lots of sleep and get lots of exercise. It takes a while for the mood swings to go away. Just go with it. Don't get overwhelmed. Live in the now.
Good luck and keep posting. Congrats on deciding to get clean.
Greebs

[violet29]

Hi, thanks so much for the list of vitamins! I am going to stock up...

Does anyone know anything about 5-htp and L-tyrosine?  I take them occassionaly.  Are they supposed to help with withdrawl (withdrawal)?

[Greatgreebo]

I wouldn't worry about taking those. I am always worried about seritonin syndrome so personally I'd steer clear of the 5-htp. The tyrosin is your call. I'd forcus on getting the B6 and B12 they will benefit you much more. Tyrosin is a non-essential amino acid. Rumor has it it may help with coke withdrawals but no real research has been done on this one. You're supposed to use it in conjuntion with B6 ...so, like I said, get the B vitamins and use them. Another one you should get, because you too live in the Pacific Northwest, is a D vitamin. Specifically D3. Even those of us who spend lots of time outside don't get nearly enough sun around here and it's been clinically proven we are always running short on vitamin D.
The GABA will help you take the edge off. Look it up on line. Your brain needs it. I started taking it during my WD's...because as you know, you will take anything if it even remotely promises to help. Anyway, I didn't really believe in it-but it did help. Don't know why, don't care. It has to do with brain chemistry so definitely get it.
You'll start to feel better soon. Just eat healthy, be faithful to your vitamins. Stay away from soda and coffee etc. Drink plenty of water.
Stay strong
Greebs

[dominosarah]

B-6 and B-12 are a must........

[violet29]

Thanks guys I will definitely load up on those! :)

Last night I had nightmares/hallucinations, this morning I saw a spider that wasn't there and I am so exhausted.  I could not get up, if my dog didn't have to go out I would have slept forever.  My body and my head feels so heavy and my mind is a blur... even my speech is slowed.

This is awful.  When I was sluggish before I would always think "oh I'll just do one line to wake me up"... and then of course that was always the start of the reckless behaviour.  Anyway not going to go there because its what brought me here in the first place.

Well, I guess I will just go through motions today and try and stay focused on being positive and healthy.

Thanks! :)