Having a hard time quiting again

[djd8080]

Just wanted to reach out again to you guys. I was reading my previous posts I wrote in the past few months and was thinking how hypocritical addiction can make a person. I have quit and relapsed so many times..I've lost count. This time I want to quit for good but I'm having a hard time getting started. I've probably averaged 60mg of oxycodone a day for the last 3 weeks. I'm hoping withdrawal won't be too bad but I'm not sure how bad it will be this time. What do you guys think? I had almost 20 or so days clean a month ago and I feel like such a jackazz for slipping up again. I'm def. quiting tomorrow and everyone's support has helped in the past so much and I'm hoping you guys will be here for me one last time. I have two perc 5's left and that's it. Please pray for me because I don't feel like I have the strength and will def. need the prayers. Also, if anyone needs some support feel free to send me a message. In the last few months I've gained some of experience with struggling through pill addiction and I'm happy to be here for you. Love you guys and thanks.

[shelby001]

yes, it does get harder and harder with each wd, at least that's how it seemed to me.  maybe you get more tired also.  i don't know how many times i quit and relapsed, plenty, but today i'm on day 54 clean and feeling so much better.  it is the longest i have gone in 7 whole years.  i don't know what happened this last time, i was more prepared, more determined, and had more support.  something also clicked in my brain, something changed in my thoughts......i knew i just could not continue to live like that anymore and i was getting so afraid of getting caught, going to jail, whatever.
i had a horrible first week, i won't kid you, but you can live through it. slowly every day does get better.  around day 14 it was difficult, i think i may have relapsed again if i didn't keep myself extremely busy and away from ANY triggers.
you can do this, if i can do this, you can do this.  stay positive!!!  there will come a day when you actually DON"T want take those pills ever again.  imagine that?!

[djd8080]

Thanks...everybody. Thank you for caring. It just seems like it gets harder and harder each time to get through withdraw. I've got to quit for good this time.

[qiut4myself]

You have what it takes to make it 20 days, you know that already. You can do this! You can get to day 20 and THEN make it past that too. I have so much admiration for all of the people in here that have shared their stories with us all, it really helped me pass the time to read the posts. It took me to day 3 to join and post, so your ahead of alot of people. Eat eat eat...drink water,, get some sugar in you for energy.
take care and believe you can do it :)

[desperado57]

Hi there.  I am addicted to benzos, and I am so early in my "beat the addiction" that I'm not concerned right now with weaning down or off.  That's how bad it is.  I just want to stop abusing my script, and then I'll worry about the rest of the struggle.

So....I can't be of much help to you in offering anything more than my prayers (did it when I read your post, and will continue :)) and a heart-full of encouragement.

Best of luck!  I'll be looking forward to good news as you go forward.

[djd8080]

Thanks for the support and advice. I'm starting DAY 1 today. I'm going to make it this time.

[bmdad]

Everyone will be here for you no matter how many times you relapse. What is important is that you are continuing with the fight to live a clean life. You made it 20 days before, so you can do it again. Since your relapse was only for 3 weeks the withdrawals may not be as bad as before. I wouldn't dwell on that as you know what to expect.
I would look for some sort of aftercare even if it only means coming on here. If you ever feel the urge to take another pill make sure you get on here and post about it. The advice and encouragement you will get on here is priceless. You will get that extra motivation to keep you from relapsing.
I would check in to the amino acid protocol in the health pages. The vitamins and supplements will help your body recover a bit faster. Make sure you are exercising. I think that is the most important thing do to while going through withdrawals. It may be hard to muster up the energy but force yourself even if it's just a short walk around the block. I notice while jogging or walking I don't really even feel the withdrawals. Throw in some headphones with your favorite music and give it a try! Also make sure you are eating healthy and pushing the fluids. If you don't feel like eating make sure you supplement your meals with a protein shake. You have to keep yourself nourished.
I won't go in to the symptoms of withdrawals as you know what to expect. Just stay mentally strong and push forward. Read this forum like crazy and post as often as you need. Be sure to give daily updates so you have something to look back on in the future. It may help remind you what you went through and keep you from relapsing. This is a battle you have won in the past so you know you can defeat this evil addiction! I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything, please let me know!

[10356]

what is important is that you are not giving up !! Many of us had gone through relapses before we found even footing.. after care counseling telling those you care about to help hold you accountable are just a few of the things we can do to keep us grounded and clean.. support you will always have here as you are doing the difficult part.. You are at war with your addiction we do not survive if we do not go about it with the attitude that we will win no matter the cost.. lesa

[leeisgettingclean]

you can do it! just be strong. You have to do something differant to stay clean this time, but we can talk about that after you get clean. Dont feel let down, relapse is normal, ***** but  part of it. I think you are going to go through about full w/ds, I think if your relapse last as long as your clean days, its prob put your body back in the cycle. Good luck, and feel free to contact me if you need anything at all