Hello everyone

Im once again on my finances account an I'm not sure how to make my own. She told me this site was an amazing thing and I check it out for support. And I'm needing alot of it at the moment. I need to know how I can help Lynn. I miss her so much and am scared after treatment she will go back to the drugs. And It scared me most of all because she can act so normal on it. She was an amazing mother and still was in school working and did everything around the house. I was blinded by her normal attitude. And I don't want to be fooled again. I trust her I really do but Iknow the power of addiction and I don't want her to do this again. How can I help her with out hurting her.

[selfinduced]

Just sending you loads of support. I have read many of lynn's post and know her family is her life. My advice is to keep an open dialoge. Let her know you are in this for the long haul and get involved in her recovery if possible. Bottom line though, the work is all up to her. She has to really want this and she sure sounds as if she is ready. More will be along to give you more words and support. YOU are a great partner, keep posting.

[Rich99]

Support is vital but do not enable her by lending her money which she might use for drugs or alcohol..    Do everything you can to keep her away from previous places and persons who 'fed' her habit.        

[selfinduced]

GREAT advice Rich!

[lynnalb15]

Thank you all yes Lynns number one is family. She's a great mother and fiancé. But I want her to be sober and I believe she will this time. This site is amazing and I Plan on telling many people of it. What a great support system you all have going here. Such strong individuals.

[selfinduced]

I have to once again compliment you on your openness and involvement here. Lots of mates would not be happy that their partners were on a site getting help instead of confiding in them. This shows your true compassion and lack of ego. Your a perfect example of what should be :)

[dac70]

Wow... just let me say u r awesome!! I don't know what I would do without my husband. He knows of my problem and he really tries to understand but let me say this... u will never truely understand unless u hv been in our shoes. Be supportive and really listen to her. Don't dismiss her concerns and never ever use this against her in the future...not that I think u will...js we all hv our own demons. Thank you got being supportive for Lynn. Let me ask u this?? Are y'all involved in church? If not... I would recommend it!!! Churches are hospitals for the sinner, sick, and weary... I wish u and Lynn and Ur family all the best the world has to offer... Much love and hugs from Texas!

[Texas50881234]

Every time I read you or lynn's posts I am amazed by ur strength. You are so blessed to be so honest and open with each other. That will go a long way in your healing and hers.

Check into Alanon for support for you. They can help you sort thru your feelings and show u how to help and not hinder her sobriety

[donefornow]

Just an idea: I've been on and off these evil drugs for many years- noone knew either- have you thought about drug testing her every month or every couple months?  Obviously you would have to approach her delicately about it and maybe wait until she is feeling ok and stable to be open to it- but without some accountability the truth is you will never know if she goes back - it may sound harsh- but seems like it will be a win win for everyone- you will not have any doubts about her being clean and she has some accountability and she won't have you doubting and mistrusting her! I would imagine can get a drug test for 30 bucks or so- cheap price to pay once a month for peace of mind- plus the accountability may be something she needs- she already knows that she can use and nobody knows when she does- on another note give her all the support you can - sometimes you may need to back off as well- its a difficult thing- I wish her and you best of luck.

[dominosarah]

Lynn is so lucky to have you.  Family support is huge in our recovery.  While she is working on herself you need to do the same.  There will be trust issues, that is only normal.  Her actions will speak louder than words now.  Educate yourself in addiction and the role you play in all of this.  Alanon would be a great program for you.  These are the family members of addicts.  You are a very important part of this and you need to be healthy too.  You 2 have so much going for you and i am sure without a doubt you will both be successful.  I am really glad you are here and talking with us!   sara

[lulu747]

It makes my heart glad to know that Lynn has your loving support.  It says a lot about your compassion and about your true love for Lynn that you are open and posting on here.  As the others above mentioned, Alanon is a wonderful resource to help understand addiction and the role it plays in the relationship of loved ones.  You will find strong support there. Please tell Lynn that we are thinking of her and know that she can do this!  She is a lovely, caring person with a deep well of strength. Take good care of yourself and that precious daughter of yours.  
Sending you best wishes and support...
Lu

[all_alone1]

you are such a wonderful man....lynn is sooo lucky and sooo deserving of you because she is such a wonderful person inside and out....we all on here care about her deeply......i am sure just her knowing that you support her is going to make a huge difference in her recovery....a am soo happy that you are turely there for her...it is sooo touching that you come on the forum and speak with us....i so so love it....you are awsome.

[lynnalb15]

Wow y'all made me cry lol hi guys its me lol I'm going to make my hubby his own account so he can come on whenever he wants. I just have to say how truly amazing you all are. Reading all of this made my night. And yes I have the most amazing man. I'm lucky. Very lucky and who ever said somehow about the monthly drug testing that's so funny cause we had discussed this yesterday! I think it will be good for me! Thank u all for your love and support. I will never leave this place because it gives me the strenght to go on. As well as my family lol. But you guys get what I mean. Well update on detox. I feel like a train ran me over backed up and ran me over again. But that's what I get haha. I'm in a great mood tonight thanks to you guys. I can't tell you all enough how much you mean to me! That's coming straight from my heart! I love you all very much. Have a great night.

[dominosarah]

You are a beautiful train wreck!!  I am so glad you got your caboose into rehab.  You know we will always be here for you Lynn.  We will be waiting for your hubby's new profile!!