Help, my life is sprialing out of control

[wannabfre2b]

Some of you know me from on here before, so now im really gonna dump the beans.  I have close friends that have seen my behaviors, and a dear relative that is clean and sober after going to treatment.  My problem is the booze and pills, i have a script for 10/325 norco, have back pain, (my last mri was not good  this year, and now im scheduled to go to a Pain Managemnt Clinic next month), and i have found a beer helps the pills work faster and better.  Now this has been going on for over 2 years, (the beer with pills), and when my script runs out, get sick, find some more pills.  I have talked with my relative who thinks i should go to treatment to quit,  I have been doing this and going to work.  Well, i finally got nailed at work the other day, and was ordered to do a drug/alcohol test, i refused and walked out of a job ive have for two years.  Now im really down in the dumps, but one thing, the door is open to go to treatment now.  My husband has excellent insurance, and have already looked into it, they will pay for treatment.  My husband is gone alot, and i am home alone drinking and taking pills,  when he does come home he drinks quite heavily, so there is another roadblock, i cant go to treatment and come home to a heavy drinker....Ive been praying about this and ask for your prayers also, I went to treatment 20 years ago for cocaine addiction, and beat it, can i do this through his grace....Thanks everyone, im out on a limb.  

[Punkinhead75]

Don't think just go.  Don't worry about what happens afterward or being around your husband.  This is a one day at a time deal.  Get checked in and work on a plan later.  I worked with a guy who drank and did coke.  He went into rehab, drug court and does AA mtgs.  He lives with his brother who still drinks and drugs and the guy has been sober for over 3yrs.  Our thinking has a way of keeping us screwed up.  Listening to what works and taking right action gets us cleaned up.  Best of luck!!!

[feohmoon]

Although I understand your stress, you really do have a great opportunity to rise above this in a setting conduscive to your recovery.  I agree with the majority, that you should take advantage of this chance.  The road to recovery is a challenging one especially considering the severity of the withdrawals - something that most doctors are unable to understand - but you would gain valuable skills for staying clean by being in a treatment center and have an easier time initially as well.  
Best of luck to you -  

[jerry4664]

its easy to say just do it but hell Just do it ! if you have the chance and the means why not I wish I could but I am the bread winner in the family so my addiction is twisted between work and home what a mess hope it works out for you.

[gnarly_1]

HI....well you may have found your rock bottom....first off I would call your work and tell them your going into treatment theres a chace you will have a job when  you get out
treatment has helped many of our members get clean...if you keep and open mind
truly want to get off...and are willing to go outside your comfort zone to get help
you will be successful...it dosent end after in pacent treatment you will need to continue
with aftercare the rest of your life...addiction needs to be treated it never goes away
with treatment you can live in recovery and enjoy your new clean and sober lifstyle
just know you are going to have to make some drastic changes in your life
but it will be for the better this is not an ez road but one worth traveling you beet the coke you will beet this ..so go into treatment with a positive attitude and gain all you can from it
let us know when your leaving you will be in my prayers..also let us know when you get out we will be here to support you...keep posting good luck and God bless....Gnarly    

[shiningstar500]

Go to treatment if you can!! It will help you alot! You don't want to keep using alcohol and pills together. You will feel so much better once you can quit them both! Good luck to you and I wish you the best!!

[sky_is_the_limit]

You can do it. That is really going to be tough of course because withdrawls hurt so bad. The booz and pills will destroy your liver so you have to change something. But as I said, you can do it. If you beat the coke habit you can beat this. I hope your husband will support you. That will be tough because he drinks too. God bless you and I will be praying for you. If you ever need to talk and Im on feel free to e-mail me.

                                                                     sky_is_the_limit

[Suz1122]

You can do this for sure.  You beat one of the hardest addictions a long time ago and what makes you think you cannot beat this!  Congratulations to you and please stop being so hard on yourself.  So you fell back into another bad habit.  We all have our reasons for this and think that it is a sunny happy place but really is a dark gloomy place we need to get ourselves out of.  You will do this and stand strong and tall.  You came here and to the right place.  Your husband definitely needs to support you but also needs to get help himself.  Coming back into an environment where you will constantly be around someone who drinks etc. is just going to make it all the much harder for you to stay straight yourself.  Do it as a joint effort, do it with each other but mostly for yourselves!  If he refuses, you can try to deal with that or cross that bridge as you come to it but you know you want out and just need the help pushing yourself through the door to the other side.  I myself had an ex husband whom I had to leave because of a drug and alcohol addiction as it ultimately ruined our family and marriage, and now being on my own and going through difficult times found myself relying on pills to keep me going and happy after a surgery.  I am doing the best I can and it is so so hard to not fall back into it and the stressors of life really dump on me as if to say hey can you deal with it and it really makes me want them again.  Take your time, think through all the options available to you and when you are ready you will make the move and just give it everything you have and do the best that you can for YOU!  Keep with the treatment and speak to others as it is comforting in knowing you are not alone through this.  Please keep posting so that we can see how you are doing and continue giving you the positive encouragement you really need right now!  

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  I agree that you should go to treatment if you have that option.  You will have to change your life when you get out though, otherwise you will be right back in the same situation.  I have been to treatment centers all over the U.S., but until I was ready, they did me no good.  I would stay clean for a few weeks to months and promptly get right back in the same boat!  My point is that treatment is awesome, but without some positive change and aftercare it won't work.

Just give it some thought. I wish you the best!!! : )

[bmdad]

Most people here would give their right arm for a chance to go to treatment. Somebody upstairs is definitely looking out for you! If your husband is gone a lot anyways what's it going to hurt? How is your job situation going to pan out? Usually refusing a drug/alcohol test will either get you fired or they will make you go to treatment.
As for you husband and his drinking, talk to him about it. Does he know you take the pills along with the beer? Does he want you to get clean? If he wants you to go to treatment that means he wants you to get help. He should realize that once you are done with treatment you can't be around any alcohol. What does he think about all of this? Is he willing to change his lifestyle in order to help you?