Help! I Wanna Use!

I am by myself this weekend. My huuby is away at a dirt bike thing- he races. I am having a hard time. I have about 3 months clean. I have been posting and reading. I am having some really strong cravings. I wanna use! I want my vics! I do have pain but not as bad as 3 days ago. I woke up wanting to use this morning and I just can't shake it!

I am so pissed at myself for even feeling like this. After all I have been through and put my poor hubby through and I am craving the drugs that messed me up! SHITE! GGGRRRR! I am besides myself!

[cathy5841]

the craving will pass.  you gotta stay strong.  if you use after this amount of time you will feel so guilty.  the guilty will eat at you.  you dont need to be mad at yourself,  carvings are a natural part of recovery.  just stay strong you can make it,
cathy

[bobby139]

Listen to Cathy she knows what she is saying...remember what got you here, you dont want that agian, you have come along way dont go backwards, this will pass, stay strong ! Great you reached out!
bobby

[sortamental]

Distraction! Bake. Eat large amounts of chocolate. Anything to stop thinking about it. I am fighting this right now myself. The desire to be HIGH overshadows any reason. I fight. it. all. the. time. I hate it.

[overcom31]

You should go to a local NA meeting they help me tremendously when I have cravings, just listenting to other people's stories and telling my own helps bring me back to reality and remember there are better things in life than relapsing. They really do help!!
GOOD LUCK, and stay strong!!

[worried878]

Hang in there...3 months is a long long time....this helped me..cathy sent it to me one day
Intervening On An Episode Of Craving by Cathy:
Since craving is a normal and natural symptom of addiction that follows the addict into recovery, it is important for addicts to learn how to deal with craving in recovery.  This is done by learning and practicing a number of steps.

1.         Recognize Craving:  Addicts must learn how to recognize a craving while it is happening. Many addicts fail to identify mild cravings as problematic and wait until they are in a full blown, severe craving before taking action.

2.         Accept Craving As Normal:  Many people experience a craving, panic, and believe there is something wrong with their recovery or that they are condemned to return to cocaine use.  This is not true.

3.         Go Somewhere Else:  The craving was probably activated by an environmental trigger, so get out of the setting you're in and get into an environment that supports sobriety.

4.         Talk It Through:  If you talk it through, you don't have to act it out.  Addicts need to talk about their cravings as soon as they occur to discharge the urge to use.

5.         Aerobic Exercise:  This stimulates brain chemistry and reduces the physiology of craving.

6.        Eat A Healthy Meal:  Eat a healthy meals in order to nourish the brain.  Consume some lean fish or meat for protein and eat some whole wheat bread or baked, potatoes or brown rice for complex carbohydrates.  It also helps to take some vitamins and amino acids to help stabilize brain chemistry imbalances.

7.         Meditation And Relaxation:  Cravings are worse when a person is under high stress.  The more a person can relax, the lower the intensity of the craving.

8.         Distraction:  divert attention from the craving by engaging in other activities that productively distract the person from their feelings.

9.         Remember Cravings Are Time-limited: The ninth step is to remember that most craving is time limited to two or three hours.  If you can use the previous eight steps to get yourself fatigued enough to fall asleep, most people wake up and the craving is gone.

It is possible to understand craving and to learn how to manage craving without returning to drug use. A model that allows people to identify set-up behaviors, trigger events, and the cycle of craving itself, and intervening upon this process has proven effective in reducing relapse among addicts.

[jetsetgrl]

Thank you- I still want to use but I won't. I have been trying to distract myself all day. I will find something to take my mind off of being high. Thanks again!

[Sarah231]

I was in your situation a few years ago, but I gave in.

Was right back to my max usage in days.

Took me years to get back to quitting again. This time I will stay quit.
The pills gradually turned me into a different person. I just want to stay home.
Don't really want to chat with friends or go out etc.

Fight it.
Seriously.

[jetsetgrl]

Thanks so much for the response. I did fight it and I did win. I even told my hubby about it when he returned home. It felt good to tell him the truth. I was so tired of lying, hiding and all that stuff. He seemed very pleased that I talked to him about it and he was very supportive. He gets it. He asked me what I did to fight it? I told him that I got the heck out of the house. I went grocery shopping... not very exiciting. But I had alot of work to get done around the house and we are business owners as well. I was also doing boookwork. I got my stuff done and tried not to think about it.

You see- last spring / summer he was gone almost every weekend. I have golden retrievers and we had a litter of pups- so  I could not leave with him. During those weekends I took alot of pills. This was a BIG trigger for me. I am used to partying with the pills when he is gone. I sort of did not know what to do with myself without drugs... I am sure that I will run into this again if he leaves town again. I will just keep myself busy. Thanks for all the responses. It really helps to read and post here! :)

[LONESOME]

I'm so glad to hear that you were strong I knew you could do it and I hope you husband had a good time as well I really hope I don't go thru that but seeing all the responses you had I know I will be in good hands if I need the support.
But I'm really happy to hear that you are doing good.
GS

[cathy5841]

way to go jetstgrl.  i am so proud of you.  everytime you beat it it will get easier!!!!  good for you
cathy

[jetsetgrl]

Thanks so much Cathy / LONESOME! Reading this really means alot to me... :)

[opi]

good job.....now go pump...       some weights.......feels good telling your mate the truth eh....i have a hard time by myself....i did my dope with me...closet monkey..so when by myself my mind wonders into dopeland.....i try to get into something else....just tough to get motivated to do it,,,it's like if i don't have to do it ,,,i don't....i make myself do stuff though or i'd be callin the man...when the cats away the mouse will play...wife was at work and i'd be doing dope in the living room like it was eating chips or something...today i was craving and ended up helping some ppl move,,,i hated it but while doing it and thinking it sucks i was thankfull i was doing it because it was keeping me busy....my knee looks like a balloon and my back and other injuries kill but screw it..right?...right.i did not crave the fix...anyway,,,i know what you're saying...alone=trigger for me..peace...hang tough