Aa
Help... I need to know why
I need to know why I have been craving alcohol. It is NOT my drug of choice. It's like I can taste it, I am ashamed to admit that. I have thought about it for the past couple of days, and it's not even noon and I am thinking about it now. Why would that happen? I did like to drink and I would drink when I chewed my pills, but I have never felt like I HAD to have it, ya know? I have not had anything in my system for 136 days, not even alcohol. This just seems so strange to me. Any comments/advise would be greatly appreciated.
Yes my sponsor knows. I really don't want to go to AA to be honest, I will go to a NA meeting on Monday. I go Monday, Thursday and Friday. Do you really think AA would make a difference? What do you think I will get out of it that I don't get at NA?
Have you talked to your sponsor about this? Or thought any more about going to an AA meeting......like soon? (I know...nag, nag, nag...lol)
I know Sarah my life depends on it...someone needs to tell my head that. I am sitting here doing Step One, which is somewhat frustrating, but I think okay.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Acceptance will come brandi and with that will come serenity. Do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober today, your life depends on it~
Good girl! Those f' it's are very dangerous and the alcohol thing is a very tough one. It's my drug of choice and it's so hard because it's EVERYWHERE! Dig in deep and reach out when you need to. No sense risking switching addictions and/or compromising your sobriety when you've come so far. Proud of you!
Hell no!!!! I'm digging in my bag of tricks I have learned. the feeling is there again today, but I am working on my step work. Getting rid of the case of F**k it's from yesterday.
Thanks! I have always liked to drink in moderation, socially whatever. I guess maybe I can't do that anymore, idk. It's a very frustrating concept. My husband and I talked at length about this at dinner. He told me he always thought I drank alcoholically. I was like WTF. I didn't drink all the time, but he pointed out that when I did I did it up. He pointed out that the bar tabs were always high, and mind you he was always the one who couldn't drink much bc he had to drive. He also said it was hard to tell when I was actually drunk. I was floored to say the least. It never affected ANYTHING in my life though. I always went to work, hardly ever had a hangover the next day. I didn't drink everyday until I was using the pills. that's when I started keeping vodka in the house. Up until then I never did. We have been together for 18 years and he never really said anything to me like this. Kinda upset that he didn't. Wow, unbelievable. I drank throughout taking Suboxone too. Not often, but I did. The last time I did my friend and I stopped at her sisters bar at 1130 in the morning and didn't leave until around 9 pm. We were supposed to be going shopping, that didn't happen obviously. I was very functional, and was gonna drive but her sister called my hubby to come get us. OMG was he pi$$ed. That was the last time and 2 weeks after was when I quit the subs. I guess what i'm getting at is the truth is there mite be a problem there. I had a hard enough tome admitting I was an addict, ya know? This is very depressing.
You sound great this morning, clear headed, insightful. I'm so glad you read over the thread again. You definitely are "getting it" this morning. It's very hard to fight that addict mind sometimes. I'd have to say that I think that alcohol was enough of a part of your addiction, that it's only normal to be having these cravings.
You did EVERYTHING right last night, you kept talking, you were honest with your husband, you took yourself out of a situation that could have potentially led you to drink, WAY to go! Seriously, awesome job! This is a mental battle, and one that you're fighting well.
You're clean and sober, which is great! Addiction is addiction, whether the substance is pills, heroin, coke, alcohol. Your mind is craving a "high", and it doesn't care how that's accomplished. You beat the demons last night. Be very proud of yourself!
You did EVERYTHING right last night, you kept talking, you were honest with your husband, you took yourself out of a situation that could have potentially led you to drink, WAY to go! Seriously, awesome job! This is a mental battle, and one that you're fighting well.
You're clean and sober, which is great! Addiction is addiction, whether the substance is pills, heroin, coke, alcohol. Your mind is craving a "high", and it doesn't care how that's accomplished. You beat the demons last night. Be very proud of yourself!
Sorry RE: Vitamins...It should be take for 5days on then take 2 days off not 5 on and off. Tswana <3 xxxxxx
Hi having been 6 months clean of an Alcohol problem i may be of help i hope and i was a serial drunk!! I drank the second i opened my eye's until they shut and kept 1 open to see where the booze was to gulp it and go back to sleep every 2 minutes. BUT the craving of Alcohol isn't actually the NEED for it it's Low Blood Sugar (Hypoglycemia) There are many reasons for this and Addiction's which have NOTHING to do with ALCOHOL will cause it and also the ADDICTION it's self can be caused by it. SO basically a lot of us now have another type of sickness which was caused by one we never knew existed or had to start with. The best way to control it is a high protein drink or snack every HOUR...and NO starchy carbs.
Cut out Potatoes too and make sure your getting a good amount of Vitamins and Minerals in your diet and if you need to take them in Pill powder or Fluids Vits and minerals it's VERY important that you take the 5 day's on then 5 days off. This is to give your body a rest from working hard to get everything were it need's to be AND to stop your Body becoming DEPENDANT on them as well as this will screw you for life and mean you have to take them FOREVER or you can't function properly and no one will e able to work out WTF is wrong with you.
Eat a PALEO style of eating it's called Paleo Diet BUT diet IT IS NOT!! i eat a Paleo Menu and i eat way more than my 6ft 8ins 15 stone kid Brother? And i am SKINNY!! too SKINNY!! People are shocked when they see how much i eat and i eat ALL DAY!! I am a Human PAC-MAN!! :-D And i eat lot's of fresh veggies fruit and i go ''Forrage'' picking good food for FREE!! :-D from the Woodland and Forest where i live. Road sides, Parks, ANYWHERE there is Earth, Rivers ( i have one over the road from me) Streams and it's fun and exercise without even trying. I eat a lot of fat all good fat's of course. I make EVERYTHING from scratch there is nothing comes out of a Jar, Packet, Box that i or anyone else that comes to my home eat. I grow stuff on my window sill's in plant pots on my Bedroom floor in pots on shelfs. See you don't need a Garden and i keep Seed's form everything or take cuttings and even go knocking strangers door's asking if i can please have a cutting of what ever it is. Carrots, Parsnips, all ROOT veg you can grow from the peel no problem, BONE BROTH Try to get Bone from Grass raed , Free range Animals it doesn't have to be certified 'Organic'' as long as its deffinately Free range as Creation meant it to be. You Just Cover the bones in Water ( This can be done in a pressure cooker, Pan, i use a Crock pot/Slow Cooker ) then add 2-3 Table spoons of vinegar, Purist all go for Apple cider Vinegar. I buy this in it's unpasturised state with the ''MOTHER'' in it but i use ANY VINEGAR to hand if this is not in my home ans any one will honestly do. I buy A C V because i use it for Health remedies and other hings as well. MEGA dose vits were a Godsend with this problem but as usual if it works and its in your cupboard...Ban it!! No money i it? Any way back to the BONE BROTH....
PUT BONES IN A PAN. OR... CROCK POT (SLOW COOKER) .....PRESSURE COOKER
PUT ENOUGH WATER SO THE BONES ARE COMPLETELY COVERED
ADD 2to 4 TABLE SPOONS OF ANY VINEGAR A BAY LEAF OR HERBS OF CHOICE (Fresh or Dried)
I ALSO KEEP THE BITS OF UNUSED VEG OR TOP AND TAILED BIT'S KEPT IN A ZIP LOCK BAG
CONTAINER/FREEZER BAG ANYTHING AND SAVE IN FREEZER TILL NEEDED AND FISH BONES
ADD EVERYTHING TO POT AND BRING TO BOIL LOOK ON LINE FOR HOW LONG AS DIFFERENT
CROCK POTS ETC HAVE DIFFERENT COOKING TIMES.
I USE MY 6 LITRE SLOW COOKER ON AUTO/LOW FOR 12 HOURS OR A FEW DAY'S
IF I HAVE ENOUGH BONES TO JUST KEEP ADDING WATER FOR AS MANY DAY'S AS 5-7?
OR IF I CAN KEEP ADDING BONES I LEAVE IT OFF FOR 1 DAY AN AT NIGHT CARRY ON THE SAME
.And read up on Low Blood Sugar (Hypoglycemia) you'll be very surprised what this one thing can cause Honest there is more and more being found out about it by the hour practically. I sorry about the Cap's on the Broth info, but every time i've posted it some where people keep asking can i re post as they can't see it all properly. <3 Love <3 Tswana xxxxxxx
Cut out Potatoes too and make sure your getting a good amount of Vitamins and Minerals in your diet and if you need to take them in Pill powder or Fluids Vits and minerals it's VERY important that you take the 5 day's on then 5 days off. This is to give your body a rest from working hard to get everything were it need's to be AND to stop your Body becoming DEPENDANT on them as well as this will screw you for life and mean you have to take them FOREVER or you can't function properly and no one will e able to work out WTF is wrong with you.
Eat a PALEO style of eating it's called Paleo Diet BUT diet IT IS NOT!! i eat a Paleo Menu and i eat way more than my 6ft 8ins 15 stone kid Brother? And i am SKINNY!! too SKINNY!! People are shocked when they see how much i eat and i eat ALL DAY!! I am a Human PAC-MAN!! :-D And i eat lot's of fresh veggies fruit and i go ''Forrage'' picking good food for FREE!! :-D from the Woodland and Forest where i live. Road sides, Parks, ANYWHERE there is Earth, Rivers ( i have one over the road from me) Streams and it's fun and exercise without even trying. I eat a lot of fat all good fat's of course. I make EVERYTHING from scratch there is nothing comes out of a Jar, Packet, Box that i or anyone else that comes to my home eat. I grow stuff on my window sill's in plant pots on my Bedroom floor in pots on shelfs. See you don't need a Garden and i keep Seed's form everything or take cuttings and even go knocking strangers door's asking if i can please have a cutting of what ever it is. Carrots, Parsnips, all ROOT veg you can grow from the peel no problem, BONE BROTH Try to get Bone from Grass raed , Free range Animals it doesn't have to be certified 'Organic'' as long as its deffinately Free range as Creation meant it to be. You Just Cover the bones in Water ( This can be done in a pressure cooker, Pan, i use a Crock pot/Slow Cooker ) then add 2-3 Table spoons of vinegar, Purist all go for Apple cider Vinegar. I buy this in it's unpasturised state with the ''MOTHER'' in it but i use ANY VINEGAR to hand if this is not in my home ans any one will honestly do. I buy A C V because i use it for Health remedies and other hings as well. MEGA dose vits were a Godsend with this problem but as usual if it works and its in your cupboard...Ban it!! No money i it? Any way back to the BONE BROTH....
PUT BONES IN A PAN. OR... CROCK POT (SLOW COOKER) .....PRESSURE COOKER
PUT ENOUGH WATER SO THE BONES ARE COMPLETELY COVERED
ADD 2to 4 TABLE SPOONS OF ANY VINEGAR A BAY LEAF OR HERBS OF CHOICE (Fresh or Dried)
I ALSO KEEP THE BITS OF UNUSED VEG OR TOP AND TAILED BIT'S KEPT IN A ZIP LOCK BAG
CONTAINER/FREEZER BAG ANYTHING AND SAVE IN FREEZER TILL NEEDED AND FISH BONES
ADD EVERYTHING TO POT AND BRING TO BOIL LOOK ON LINE FOR HOW LONG AS DIFFERENT
CROCK POTS ETC HAVE DIFFERENT COOKING TIMES.
I USE MY 6 LITRE SLOW COOKER ON AUTO/LOW FOR 12 HOURS OR A FEW DAY'S
IF I HAVE ENOUGH BONES TO JUST KEEP ADDING WATER FOR AS MANY DAY'S AS 5-7?
OR IF I CAN KEEP ADDING BONES I LEAVE IT OFF FOR 1 DAY AN AT NIGHT CARRY ON THE SAME
.And read up on Low Blood Sugar (Hypoglycemia) you'll be very surprised what this one thing can cause Honest there is more and more being found out about it by the hour practically. I sorry about the Cap's on the Broth info, but every time i've posted it some where people keep asking can i re post as they can't see it all properly. <3 Love <3 Tswana xxxxxxx
I woke up this morning grateful that I am still clean and sober. I re-read all of these comments and appreciate all of you. You make people get so real with themselves, see themselves. I am also grateful for my husband standing up to me and not letting me manipulate him into still going to the Comedy Club. We were supposed to go with my best friend of 22 years and her husband. She knows about the pills. I wouldn't call her an old playmate, she doesn't use, but when we get together, we drink together. Enuff of that for now tho. Anyway, thanks everyone from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to comment, share a link to s site...everything.
Yeah I guess I am feeling better for now, ended up doing dinner and a movie instead. As far as drinking previously goes, I always drank, socially, and binging. Never craved it ever. I drank more while using because for me it enhanced the effects of the opiates and benzos. I would drink when I would get home, and then after my kids went to bed. I never drank to the point of intoxication or waking up with a hangover. I will admit I have had a high tolerance. I never thought for a minute I had a problem, and I don't know what to think now
To me this is a fascinating discussion. Before pills I was more of a binge drinker. I never craved it or just sat around and drank at home. It was a poker game, or a football game type drinker I guess. During the 3 yr hydro roller coaster ride I almost never drank...with the pills, who needs to drink?
Now that I'm off the pills the thought of drinking is non existent. I sometimes think that when the day comes I want a beer I'll be getting better. This may not make sense to some but like a good steak the endorphins kick in when on a friday after work you grab some beers. I'd look forward to that...I don't now, at least not yet.
I've read some stories of folks replacing pills with alcohol to get the "buzz" back. For me this is hard to comprehend. The thought of waking up the next day with a headache & feeling like $hit all day hungover...it's not worth it. I think I'd need a pill to get through that.
Now that I'm off the pills the thought of drinking is non existent. I sometimes think that when the day comes I want a beer I'll be getting better. This may not make sense to some but like a good steak the endorphins kick in when on a friday after work you grab some beers. I'd look forward to that...I don't now, at least not yet.
I've read some stories of folks replacing pills with alcohol to get the "buzz" back. For me this is hard to comprehend. The thought of waking up the next day with a headache & feeling like $hit all day hungover...it's not worth it. I think I'd need a pill to get through that.
Wow. That was painful to read. Ur right in the sense of had it beenmy doc i probabbly wld feell better about it. At least ssee it comin. Damn
"I think i could handle it in my mind. But i know how i drink at times. I never considered it to be a problem honestly"
That's your addict mind talking. Read the following quotes of yours. VERY telling and very important to read. This isn't about a social drink, the stuff you've talked about in this thread today are 100% addiction IMO....
* It's like I can taste it, I am ashamed to admit that.
*I have thought about it for the past couple of days, and it's not even noon and I am thinking about it now. Why would that happen? I did like to drink and I would drink when I chewed my pills, but I have never felt like I HAD to have it, ya know?
*I crave vodka and Bacardi....I don't want to blow it, it is on my mind like crazy. This is scaring the s**t out of me.
*The urge is so strong, and I know it would lead me back.
*This has been going on since Tuesday, I can't make it stop....(not at all what something a social drinker would say/feel)
*I think I am craving the buzz, not like to get drunk I don't think, just a couple..IDK. But I can taste it.
*My God, when is the ******** ever gonna stop? I am trying to throw myself into things, and it works for a period of time, and then it just comes back. I can see myself at the bar with a drink and that is scary.
*(this comment is the most telling IMO, the most honest) Your right, and I don't want to admit that, I really don't. I wanna use something, catch a buzz, enjoy and relax, maybe two or three......there is no normal is there?
* 135 days, man I didn't expect to be dreaming of vodka, I fully expect the pills, but not that.
Reading all of your honest, raw comments tells me this is your addiction talking, totally. This is a craving, and because it's not your DOC, it's totally throwing you for a loop. I think if you were craving your DOC, it would almost be easier to accept. Recognize it for what it is. It's nothing to be confused about. It's the devil on your shoulder, whispering in your ear.
The important thing to remember is that you're doing everything in your power, all of the right things, to address this craving. You should be proud of yourself. It WILL pass, it just may not pass as quickly as you'd like it to. Keep talking to us, and if need be, read that list of your OWN comments, where you can clearly see that this isn't about wanting to be able to have an occasional drink socially. This is about wanting to numb yourself, wanting to use something.
You're in my thoughts.
That's your addict mind talking. Read the following quotes of yours. VERY telling and very important to read. This isn't about a social drink, the stuff you've talked about in this thread today are 100% addiction IMO....
* It's like I can taste it, I am ashamed to admit that.
*I have thought about it for the past couple of days, and it's not even noon and I am thinking about it now. Why would that happen? I did like to drink and I would drink when I chewed my pills, but I have never felt like I HAD to have it, ya know?
*I crave vodka and Bacardi....I don't want to blow it, it is on my mind like crazy. This is scaring the s**t out of me.
*The urge is so strong, and I know it would lead me back.
*This has been going on since Tuesday, I can't make it stop....(not at all what something a social drinker would say/feel)
*I think I am craving the buzz, not like to get drunk I don't think, just a couple..IDK. But I can taste it.
*My God, when is the ******** ever gonna stop? I am trying to throw myself into things, and it works for a period of time, and then it just comes back. I can see myself at the bar with a drink and that is scary.
*(this comment is the most telling IMO, the most honest) Your right, and I don't want to admit that, I really don't. I wanna use something, catch a buzz, enjoy and relax, maybe two or three......there is no normal is there?
* 135 days, man I didn't expect to be dreaming of vodka, I fully expect the pills, but not that.
Reading all of your honest, raw comments tells me this is your addiction talking, totally. This is a craving, and because it's not your DOC, it's totally throwing you for a loop. I think if you were craving your DOC, it would almost be easier to accept. Recognize it for what it is. It's nothing to be confused about. It's the devil on your shoulder, whispering in your ear.
The important thing to remember is that you're doing everything in your power, all of the right things, to address this craving. You should be proud of yourself. It WILL pass, it just may not pass as quickly as you'd like it to. Keep talking to us, and if need be, read that list of your OWN comments, where you can clearly see that this isn't about wanting to be able to have an occasional drink socially. This is about wanting to numb yourself, wanting to use something.
You're in my thoughts.
I think i could handle it in my mind. But i know how i drink at times. I never considered it to be a problem honestly
A very wise man told me "the alcohol bone is connected to the pill bone"
Booze did not bring me to my knees like pills did, but why risk some alcohol leading you back to the pills one day?
Booze did not bring me to my knees like pills did, but why risk some alcohol leading you back to the pills one day?
I am frustrated bc i enjoyed drinking. Not all the time but i did. I can accept that i am an addict but not that i cant have a drink every once in awhile. Im pissed thaat this will have a huge impact on my social life. I think im gettin a case of the fu@k its
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