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Help My Dr and I addicted

I misuse meds (Oxy) prescribed by my Dr. My legitimate condition has escalated to addiction. I take up to 200mg a day. Thing is, my prescriber is also my friend. She prescribes extra for me to 'stock up' and occasionally 'split' with her. I've expressed my concerns about being addicted to her, she acknowledges that I likely am, but keeps writing for them. I know the first advise is to stop seeing her.. but she is in my social circle and also treats several friends and family. Plus I WANT them, even though I know I have to stop. Plus, even if I don't approach her, she will just end up coming to me... I find myself doing things I would never otherwise do. Lie, manipulate, steal. Even with an open source, I take more, and too many, run out, beg, borrow, buy to fill the gaps.Is there hope? I'm terrified of what I can become, what I have to lose, and not having control. Thank you
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4204073 tn?1361831476
That sounds great.  Let us know how that goes and that she doesn't try to convince you that you need to stay on them.   Even though I deleted contacts in my phone, they still knew how to contact me.  I didn't even think about that part.  duh!   Anyhow, their persistence paid off and even though I said had said no more, they caught me in a week moment and I fell.   And they weren't looking out for my best interest.   They wanted to make money off me.   The way your Dr friend wants something out of your situation.   So stay strong and make sure she knows you are serious!    Good Luck!  
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Avatar universal
Just sent this to the doc. Deleted names but.....

Hey xxxx I just wanted to drop you a line and say Happy New Year and thank you for all that you do. I wanted to let you know that even though Dec was a very bad pain month with the move, remodel, and all the panic buying stress, working till midnight, etc. It was very hard for me. Otherwise the new chiro I'm seeing has helped me see a lot of improvement-  I want to ask for a visit with you for a final supply my hubby will use to wean me off and stash the rest.. I'll be okay if I keep up the treatment and stop using the medicine what do you think?

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Avatar universal
I hope you have the strength in you to everything listed above! Best of luck!!
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4204073 tn?1361831476
She is seeking you out to help HER get more meds as you see now.  She has got you hooked to where they are now problematic.  You will need to be able to say to her that you have decided you no longer want or need these pills, so please do not ask me if I want any more or come by my office to make a 'house call' for scrips.  Cutting our sources really does liberate us.    
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Avatar universal
Thing is, somethimes I take a few days or a week off, just to see if I can... I've been on the meds for about 4 years, but the last 6 month have been most problematic. When I 'take a break' (usually to bring my tolerance down a bit so I'm not eating 10 at a time) I don't have any terrible problems. Dihareah, sure. Trouble sleeping, nothing new. A little achey, but not the end of the world. A little low energy and maybe depression. So maybe I have some false confidence that I can do this without humiliating my self pissing in cups, being supervised, questioned, judged... The stigma of needing 'addict' treatment, you know. And she will really COME SEE ME. Just let herself in my office around the time she usually does. The 'house call' type Dr, which is why I liked her so much at first, so convenient for a busy person! I know there is a potentioal for legal fall out which is TERRIFYING. I've never had legal trouble, and my family owns a heavily regulated and licenced business, really conflicting interests. I actually work closely with a lot of law enforcement, and even have a DEA friend I see almost daily! I feel like such a fraud and hypocrite! Plus I feel like I have some kind of loyalty to her, as a friend and for all the favors, and for fear of potenttioal fall out, to not to bring attention to her no matter which route I take. Can I do this? Am I setting myself for failure? Today is day 2 taking no pain meds, and so far, I'm ok. Recently I've quit the xanax, ambien, Zoloft. All I need to do is kick these oxys and I'm good!
Helpful - 0
4204073 tn?1361831476
What a mess!    Girl, get away from this Dr before you got caught up in a whirlwind of a bigger mess involving legal problems.   You are enabling each other.  She may be prescribing to you, but she is giving you more than what you need to get hers too.   And I'm betting she is doing it with others as well.   When the DEA reviews her scrip history, and they will, it is just a matter of time, she will get caught.   Then not only will you have lost your supply, but then you will be in serious withdraw.   Find another Dr to help you get off the meds NOW.   Yes, you will run into her in social circles, but that means you have to be guarded.   Your health and sobriety comes first before anything else.    I know you WANT the pills.   Been there done that.   But what have the pills really done for you?    I'm betting you need them to just get through your day and feel somewhat normal now?     I have legit pain and I tell you, after 30 days of being off them I am finding the pain is more tolerable without the pills than with them.  Taking pills everyday, we build a tolerance and need more and more to get the desired results.  Our brains quit putting out it's own pain killers and relies on the meds, so the pain is more intense when the pills wear off.   I have been able to manage my pain with OTC supplies and I am betting you can too.  
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Avatar universal
You are absolutely right about the sub doctor.   She does need to just cut this person out of her life for good. And I never thought of some doctors just giving subs and not monitoring the patient. I guess because my sub doctor did it the right way and was reputable I just assumed most doc's were the same way. Being in the healthcare industry for 10 years I should know better than that. Thank you for the correction nursegirl...I don't like giving out poor or inaccurate advice.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Not every doctor can prescribe Suboxone, plus I would never recommend the OP getting Sub from this doc, even if she was a certified Sub doc.  She needs to put lots of distance between her and this doctor.

Suboxone can be a great tool in recovery, and if you decide to look into that as an option, OP, I STRONGLY recommend finding a GOOD Sub clinic that requires therapy, and drug tests at every visit.  A good sub clinic will place a lot of importance on the entire recovery process, including aftercare, not just hand out a script.  Sub is only a tool, it isn't a quick fix.

As you can see, there ARE people who have had positive experiences with it.  You will also hear a lot of people say they have had a negative experience.  There are lots of people on both sides of the Sub fence, for sure.  Many times, the people with negative experiences were working with a lousy Sub doc who was more interested in the money, and less interested in doing the Sub the RIGHT way...at the lowest dose needed, with a solid plan for tapering off of it...with support.
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Avatar universal
I'm glad to see people are really seeing suboxone as a useful tool in recovery. I find it to be an absolute miracle and never would have gotten clean without it. It can cause withdrawals when stopped that are similar to pills but I found its nowhere near to pill wd...totally worth it. You need to CALL her and ask for this prescription. If she is any kind of doctor or a friend she should want to give you this rx and help you get clean.  That is part of the oath she took when she became a doctor.....
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4592241 tn?1359813138
Its funny how something that seemed so awesome and convient has become such a burden...I to have been addicted to almost everything...I was addicted to meth when i lived in California, then alcohol in Virginia and now in Nashville and got hooked on pills.....I kept moving but so did my addictions....Im sorry you are going thru this...start tapering now while you still have the opportunity to.....your friend is in denial and as a physician she is in deep if she is risking her license for pills......everyone gets caught, its just a matter of time.....Get on Suboxone!!!! Ive been on it since Jan 4th of last year and have not had any cravings for my old life...yes, Im lonely and have lost alot of friends but I have gained so much more than I feel I lost.....You can do this.....google suboxone doctors and call!
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Oh boy...I'd strongly recommend you putting as much distance between you and your doctor friend as possible, and asap.  When the sh*t hits the fan, and it will, it will get ugly.  You're talking serious BIGTIME criminal charges and you do NOT want to be messed up in that...you will be put in a very bad position.  Federal authorities will be involved, UGLY.  I can guarantee if she's doing this with you, she's doing it with others as well.  With the rising Rx abuse, doctors who abuse their prescription authority are having the book thrown at them, time and time again...same with the people who are involved and who have knowledge of the situation, without reporting it or doing something about it.

I would tell your friend she needs help.  Of course you wouldn't want to, but you really should report her to the authorities and/or licensing board.  What she is doing is so wrong, and dangerous.  You don't HAVE to see her, take her calls, nothing.

"I know the first advise is to stop seeing her.. but she is in my social circle and also treats several friends and family. Plus I WANT them, even though I know I have to stop. Plus, even if I don't approach her, she will just end up coming to me... "
Sorry, but that's just an excuse.  YOU are in total control of who you see, and interact with.  

I sincerely hope both of you get some help.  I wouldn't look for help with your addiction from this doctor/friend.  Find another doctor, and get some help.  This site is a great resource, and your post is a great starting place.  You need to reclaim your life.

Best to you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was in the same boat as you 2 weeks ago. I'm 24 and was using up to 300mg a day.  I didn't have a friend prescribing them to me however, if she is really your friend she will understand. Have you heard of suboxone? I find it to be a wonderful thing. I've been on it for 3 weeks now and haven't thought about oxy ever while on it. Just explain to your friend your not interested in them anymore. And yes there is hope :) try looking Into suboxone treatment! - pinkchi
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